Who Buys a Husband Online Anyway? [Frerard]

Discussion in 'Completed Fan Fictions' started by Miz Erie, Jan 16, 2013.

  1. Miz Erie

    Miz Erie Future Violent Staff Member


    Title: Who Buys a Husband Online Anyway?

    Rating: NC-17 (For Language, Adult [Graphic/Sexual] Content)

    Genre: Romance, Drama, Slash

    Characters: Frank Iero, Gerard Way

    Pairing: Frank/Gerard

    Summary: Gerard needs a spouse, but he has yet to meet anyone. As time quickly laspes, he turns to someplace he never thought he would... a mail order husband website.

    Author’s Note: This was going to be a oneshot, but I thought it might be better posted as short chapters because of the several time lapses.

    Disclaimer: I am in no way affiliated with My Chemical Romance or the guys that make up the band. No part of this is true; it is purely a fictional story. Any part of this story that resembles real life is only coincidental. No parts of this story may be reproduced or used without permission.

    This story is gifted to and inspired by Kadoodle! Thank you, Kadoodle!!

    1. What Am I Doing?! - Page 1
    2. This Is Home. - Page 1
    3. Protect Me. - Page 3
    4. I Wanted To. - Page 4
    5. Can This Be? - Page 4
    6. Take Me. - Page 5
    7. We Are Equals. - Page 6
  2. Miz Erie

    Miz Erie Future Violent Staff Member

    What Am I Doing?!

    Gerard scrolls through the site again with a sigh. This is not how he wanted to spend his night. And the last thing he wants to do is buy a person. It seems wrong on so many levels. His window of time is quickly running out, though; he has to be married before his twenty fifth birthday if he is to receive the contents of his inheritance trust. Why couldn’t he just be less socially awkward? He scrubs his hands over his face and goes back to actually reading the ads on PickUrHusband.com instead of just glancing at them.

    Ad after ad, Gerard can’t find one that he believes would be a compatible match. Either the person is still practically a boy, old enough to be his father, or just not his type. Gerard wants someone he can at least have a conversation with. After another hour of reading ads for guys that just won’t work, Gerard slams his hands down on his laptop’s keyboard, crushing his eyes shut and growling out his frustration.

    “This is so stupid,” he groans to his empty bedroom. Gerard rolls his head back and forth and then opens his eyes to look out the window. He lives in a modest two bedroom ranch, and he drives a six year old car. He even works a regular job at the local comic book store. Nothing about his life says he’s one piece of paper away from a multi-million dollar deposit in his bank account. And now he sits here at his laptop trying to spend his hard-earned savings on a mail order husband.

    Gerard doesn’t want all the money. Well, yes he does, but he’s not just going to start living some lush lifestyle. He has a list of things he wants to spend the money on: a Bachelor’s from the School of Visual Arts, pay off his mortgage, a nice “just in case of emergency” cache, the usual stuff. Somehow buying a spouse didn’t make it on his list.

    Gerard glances at the screen as he reaches up to slam it closed. A pair of hazel eyes hidden behind long, dark hair catches his attention. They look sad. Gerard readjusts the screen and looks at the ad.

    “Frank. 20 years old. American. Homosexual.” is all it reads. But the picture is what Gerard keeps looking at. He finally decides to click on the ad. There’s little additional information about the guy: he likes music and reading, has an extensive collection of tattoos, and wants a dog of his own. Gerard has to read the last line again. All the others have been asking for expensive items or certain lifestyles; this guy simply wants a pet. Gerard clicks over to the next page to see how much “Frank” is and finds the price well below what’s being asked for the others. Under the price is a small, red word: “Returned.”

    Gerard looks at the picture again. He feels something tugging at his emotions, and his intuition tells him to buy this one, to buy “Frank.”


    I'm writing this with a light heart, and I hope you will read it the same way. I am really just letting this one write itself as I go. I have a basic idea of what I want to happen, but things may change. For the record, I have no idea how mail order brides work or if there is even such a thing as mail order husbands.

    Love you all!
  3. kadoodle

    kadoodle crazy cat lady Staff Member

    Thank you so much for posting this! Love it :)
  4. Madrox

    Madrox Guest

    I remember seeing this idea in the shoutbox. Haha I'm so glad you actually did it! I'll be reading every update! Can't wait for more lol
  5. Angila

    Angila InkGirl. Staff Member

    Ha this is awesome!
  6. TheLivingDead

    TheLivingDead Member

    I didn't think this story would happen so soon! I'm so glad it did though, I can already tell it's going to be one of my favorites.
  7. Athena

    Athena Active Member

    Wow now this is a different take on a Frerard! but I love it!
  8. MissNothing

    MissNothing New Member

    I thought this was a great idea when I saw it in the shoutbox, loved the first chapter and can't wait to read more!!
  9. Kriss

    Kriss Mrs. Sherlock

    Haha I love the idea! I'll be reading ;)
  10. Miz Erie

    Miz Erie Future Violent Staff Member

    WOW! Thank you all for the wonderful responses! I'm blown away at how many there are! I hope you will all keep reading!! Here's the next part...

    This Is Home.

    One Week Later

    Gerard sits in the rundown, dirty bus station. He’s waiting for the Greyhound bus from Pittsburgh as he was instructed to do in the email he received after purchasing Frank. The email gave him a little more information about Frank, too, including his date of birth and last name. It also stated Frank would have a sealed envelope with all the legal papers Gerard would need.

    Gerard stands when the bus pulls into the station. He waits for people to begin off loading before he steps outside the door of the building and hold up his poster paper with “Frank I.” written on it. Slowly a short guy with a buzzed head emerges from the crowd and walks towards Gerard with a single bag in one hand and a large manila envelope in the other. Gerard immediately recognizes the hazel eyes, but Frank’s long locks are all missing.

    “Are you Gerard Way?” he asks in a small voice. Gerard smiles softly at him.

    “I am. I presume you are Frank.” The man nods his head affirmatively.

    “I’m supposed to give this to you immediately,” Frank murmurs, holding the envelope out in Gerard’s direction. Gerard takes it and tucks it under his arm.

    “My car’s this way,” Gerard states as he motions towards the bus station’s parking lot. “Can I take your bag?” Frank regards Gerard’s extended hand for a moment.

    “No, I got it, but thanks.” Gerard notes that Frank keeps his eyes cast downward.

    “Okay, Frank. I’ll show you to my car.” Frank nods once again. He follows Gerard the short distance across the parking lot. Gerard presses the unlock button on his remote, and the lights flash.

    “You can put your belongings in the back,” he offers Frank. Frank pulls the back door open and begins to climb in. “What are you doing?” Frank looks up startled.

    “I-I was just g-getting in the back like the last one liked, sir… Mr. Way, sir.” Gerard quickly walks around the car and places a gentle hand on Frank’s shoulder.

    “Frank, call me Gerard. And you are welcome to sit in the front.” Frank shuffles out from under Gerard’s touch and shuts the back car door. He begins to climb into the front seat. By the time Gerard is climbing in the driver’s side, Frank is already buckled up and clutching his bag to his chest. Gerard buckles up, cranks the car, and pulls out of the parking lot.

    After driving a short way, Gerard asks Frank, “I understand you like music. Is that right?” Gerard catches Frank’s eyes glance at the radio before flicking back down to his lap.

    “Yes, Gerard, sir.” Gerard chuckles softly, and Frank slumps even lower in his seat. Gerard immediately stops.

    “Just Gerard, Frank. No ‘sir’ stuff, alright?”

    “Okay, Gerard.” Frank raises his head, looking out the windshield. Gerard drives on in awkward silence for another stretch.

    “So, uh, Frank, let’s…” Gerard clears his throat, not sure what to say. “Um, let’s do this. How about we take turns asking questions? What do you think?” For the first time, Frank makes eye contact with Gerard.

    “Seriously?” Frank asks incredulously. Gerard smiles at Frank before returning his gaze to the road.

    “Seriously. Nothing’s off limits. You can ask me anything you want. Deal?” Frank looks back out the window, but his lips curl into a shy smile.


    “So you start. I’ve already asked you a question, so it’s your turn. What do you want to know?” Gerard glances at Frank, who is still staring out the window. He waits until Frank thinks of something.

    “Why are you buying a husband?” Gerard nods.

    “That’s a good question. Well, I have to be married by my twenty fifth birthday or my inheritance goes to charity.” Frank slumps again.

    “So you’ll get your money and send me back, won’t you?” Frank asks hardly above a whisper.

    “That’s two questions,” Gerard jests. “But no, I won’t. We’ll see how things go, but I won’t send you back unless you want to go back.” Frank sighs, and Gerard swears it’s a sigh of relief.

    “Okay, my turn.” Gerard glances at Frank’s buzz cut.”Why did you cut your hair?”

    Frank makes an uncomfortable sound in the back of his throat. “I didn’t. My last buyer made me do it. He didn’t like my hair.” Frank’s hand instinctively reaches up and rubs over his short hair. “You don’t seem like the ‘mail order’ type.” Gerard waits for a question, but Frank just shifts uncomfortably in his seat.

    “Is that a question?” he asks gently. Frank looks around the car. He starts shaking his head no.

    “No. You just… I mean… most of the people ordering husbands are filthy rich and live like it. So unless you’re incognito, you just don’t seem the type.” Gerard laughs, and Frank seems to relax a little.

    “I’m not ‘incognito,’ no. And I don’t live like that because I’m not filthy rich,” Gerard replies, then adds, “yet.” Gerard pulls into his driveway. “Well, here we are, home sweet home.”

    Frank climbs out of the car with hardly a glance at the house. He retrieves his bag and follows Gerard up to the door. Gerard opens the door and motions for Frank to step in. Once inside the door, Frank stands with his head and shoulders down, his fingers white from gripping his bag so tightly.

    “Pizza okay for dinner?” Frank nods. “Anything particular on it? Or not on it?” Gerard calls out as he walks towards the phone.

    “No, si—Gerard.” Gerard dials the number he knows by heart. He calls over his shoulder as he puts the phone up to his ear, “Make yourself at home.”

    Frank just stands where he is. He hopes this buyer is better than the last one. He certainly likes this buyer better than the last already. But that doesn’t mean he’s any more comfortable in foreign surroundings. Frank looks around what he can see of the living room from the foyer. He can see the edge of a sofa and TV. In a corner is a drawing table with several drawings scattered on it. Next to that is a large stereo system with more CD’s than Frank has ever seen in one place outside of a music store.

    “Why are you still standing here?” Frank hears Gerard murmur. He blinks and looks over at his new buyer. “Let me give you the grand tour.” Frank follows Gerard into the living room he was just spying. “Well, it’s not much, uh… I’ve got some games under the TV, but I don’t know if you’ll like any of them or if… do you play video games, Frank?”

    “Some. Well, I have before, not recently.” Gerard notices Frank picking at his nails in what looks like a nervous habit.

    “Maybe you can play some later tonight. Well, let’s see… uh, you’re pretty much welcome to use anything,” Gerard shifts on his feet. “I’m kind of particular about my desk over there, though, so, uh…”

    “I won’t touch it,” Frank mutters obediently. His tone makes Gerard cringe inwardly.

    “No, no, I mean, you’re welcome to use any of the art supplies, I just meant not to be reorganizing my stuff or anything. Like, just be careful, you know?” Frank nods, a habit Gerard is starting to dislike. It’s not because of Frank, but Gerard fears for what has caused Frank to be so withdrawn. “Well, over here is the kitchen,” Gerard points out, sticking his head in the door connecting the two rooms. “Uh, not much to see. Eat what you want, and if you want something that’s not in here, just jot it on the list on the fridge. I’ll get it when go to the store next time.” He turns back to look at Frank.

    “I like Twizzlers,” Frank mentions as a test; he wants to see what his new buyer will do. Gerard laughs, an honest, friendly laugh, and Frank finds himself smiling back.

    “I don’t have any of those, but I’ll make sure to get you some, Frank.” Gerard heart skips a beat when Frank looks up at him half smiling. Something tells him that’s the first time Frank has smiled in a while. “Well, down this way,” Gerard walks down the hall, “is the bedrooms and bathroom. Bedrooms are on the right, and the door on the left is the bathroom. My room is the one at the end. I set this one up for you.” Gerard opens the door to the spare room. Frank tilts his head to peer in but doesn’t step inside. Gerard notices and takes a step away from the door. Frank looks at him, and Gerard can see his confusion.

    “My room? I don’t sleep with you?” Frank looks from Gerard to the bed in the spare room and back. Gerard subconsciously takes another step back.


    “I’m not pretty enough for you, am I?” Gerard can see the tears welling up in Frank’s eyes as his head drops down.

    “Frank, I think you’re beautiful.” Gerard steps close to Frank, realizing what Frank must have been expecting. He places his fingers under Frank’s chin and lifts it back up so he can see Frank’s eyes. “I just thought you’d want some privacy until we got to know each other a little better. I’m not going to take advantage of you like that, Frank. I’m not like that.” Frank’s entire body visibly relaxes, and he blinks back his tears. They stand in awkward silence for a moment before Gerard speaks again. “Well, I know it’s kind of plain, but you can do whatever you want to make it your own. I never come in here anyway, so it’s all yours. I’m gonna go wait for the pizza while you get settled in. That okay?”

    Frank tentatively steps into the room. Gerard starts to walk off, but Frank calls his name. Gerard sticks his head back around the edge of the door. “Thank you, Gerard,” Frank utters softly.

    “You’re welcome, Frank.” Frank smiles that shy smile again.

    “Not just for the room.”

    “I know, Frank,” Gerard replies before he leaves Frank alone. Frank looks around the room. He begins unpacking his three sets of clothes the mail order agency had given him. But he can’t help but think his new owner is a really nice guy; he might actually like it here.


    I'm sorry; I know there is a lot of dialogue in this part. I hope you all enjoyed it, though!

    Hugs and loves!
  11. Lokeriel

    Lokeriel Because Boomerangs Staff Member

    Frank is kind of adorable, and I just want to pat him on the head.
  12. Adore it.
    I'll be stalking it until next time, Miz.
    You know my deal. :p
  13. TheLivingDead

    TheLivingDead Member

    Frank is so adorable and vulnerable. It makes me want to hug him so badly, especially since he had to get his gorgeous hair chopped off :(
  14. Athena

    Athena Active Member

    Frank is the cutest little thing yet, makes you want to hug him.

    I like how Gerard is handling everything so calmly, the way he handled the questions, 'why are you buying a husband?' and 'I'm not pretty enough for you?' well I don't know what to say, not many people would handle things like that.

    I think they will get along just fine :D

    Lovely update m'dear
  15. ^ +1

    I adored it Miz. Poor Frank, like, I get the impression that he's kind of like a puppy that got hit over the nose, like that's the way he acts y'know? I do love Gerard, he's kind of awkward but he's taking it so well, it's just brilliant.

    A little question here. You said it was originally a one shot but you're splitting it for the time jumps. How many chapters roughly are we looking at then? Great job Miz I'll be on the edge of my seat until next time :D
  16. Angila

    Angila InkGirl. Staff Member

    Aw poor Frank, he seems so beaten down. Great update, can't wait for more!
  17. kadoodle

    kadoodle crazy cat lady Staff Member

    That was so sweet. I'm tearing up, lol.
  18. Kriss

    Kriss Mrs. Sherlock

    I loved it! It'll be interesting to see how Frank's gonna adjust :)
  19. MarieArt

    MarieArt Champion of Losers

    I normally do not read slash, but I saw "mail order husband" and the uncommon--very uncommon--use of that subject... I had to read.

    Frank, love his heart. I just want to bring him in for a big embrace.
  20. Lokeriel

    Lokeriel Because Boomerangs Staff Member

    This is exactly why I started reading. I saw it discussed briefly in the shoutbox, and once it was posted I thought, "Well, what the hell, why not." And I'm liking so far! (I'm just as surprised as anyone else! And that's not a dig at your writing, Miz, as I've not read your stuff before. It's because it's slash, which, as you know, I don't read. I think I've only ever read one or two slash fics before this.)

Share This Page