Uncomfortably Numb

Discussion in 'Completed Fan Fictions' started by MarieArt, Apr 9, 2012.

  1. Chemical 30

    Chemical 30 Just 'That' Girl

    I don't know...Brad seemed nice...but still not completely trusting him.
    Poor Gerard hopes he gets better soon
  2. MarieArt

    MarieArt Champion of Losers

    Chp 14

    The beginning is a text conversation; I’ve never done this before in a story, so I guess I’ll try something new!
    Fr: Aubrey
    Time: 12:25am
    Brad. It went a lot better than I thought; I still end up feeling like the bad guy.

    Fr: Brad
    Time: 12:27am
    Don’t feel like the bad guy. What’d he say?

    Fr: Aubrey
    Time: 12:33am
    …he was drunk and said he talked to his friends about it… very UNemotional…

    Fr: Brad
    Time: 12:37am
    Unemotional? That is weird… anything I can do

    Fr: Aubrey
    Time: 12:42am
    Idk… I guess I can sleep on it. I’ll talk to you tomorrow. Good night.

    Fr: Brad
    Time: 12:45am

    I set my cell phone on the nightstand and rolled over. Thoughts rushed through my mind as I tossed and turned. We were no longer a couple, but I still felt guilty for even going out with another guy; though it wasn’t even five minutes before I left with him. Rolling over to face the door, my thoughts rattled on. Brad and I are just friends. I don’t know that much about him… I glanced around and took in a deep breath. Although, he did tell me a lot about himself; he’s 28 (I’m 26), he’s in a band, he travels, and lives on what money he makes at shows. He is family oriented despite him being away most of the time; he spoke to his mom before the show. I shook my head, “Probably not even his mother…” I didn’t mean for that to leave my mouth, but who in the heck cares.

    The bedroom door slid open and a silhouette poured across my floor. It loomed to one side as my eyes followed it to its source; Gerard stood there motionless.

    “Are you okay?” I asked.

    “No more…” he groaned throwing his hands up to his temples.

    “No more what?”

    “Fucking alcohol,” he cried grasping his head. “I forgot about the headaches…”

    “Aren’t the headaches supposed to come with the hangover?”

    “Not with me; I get them when I begin sobering up,” he rubbed the sides of his head. “I took Ibuprofen… Not fucking working.”

    “Gerard, come here,” I muttered. He obediently approached me and seated himself on the edge of the bed. “Take deep breaths; in the nose, out the mouth.”

    “That don’t-“

    “Freaking try it.” I watched him inhale and exhale. “Now, lay down. I’ll get you a cool wash cloth.” I crawled out from under the sheets right before he gradually lied down. I walked into the bathroom, dug a wash cloth out of the small linen closet and ran cold water over it.

    “Thank you…” a small voice whispered from my bedroom.

    I smiled to myself and reentered the bedroom, “Gerard?” A subtle snoring sound escaped his mouth or nose. I climbed in behind him and gently placed the wash cloth on his forehead. “I’m sorry…” I softly kissed his cheek then soon enough fell to sleep.

    Beep! When my eyes flashed open, the room gently spun around when I reached for my cell phone. The screen read, “One New Message.” Yawning, I opened it and saw Brad’s name pop up on the screen.

    Fr: Brad
    Time: 9:13am
    Good morning. Sleep well?

    I glanced at Gerard then back at the screen, triggering an inward conflict. Do I reply, or wait? I subconsciously put my phone back on the nightstand and lied back down. It can wait… A few hours flew by when my eyes finally decided to open up to find Gerard face mere centimeters away. Yes, he was still asleep, but very, very close. Honestly, his breath was terrible, but what person has amazing breath in the morning? I felt a weak smile slip onto my face as I watched him sleep for a few more seconds before I softly rolled onto my hands and knees to crawl to the foot of the bed; sleeping in the back sucks, especially when you’re sharing the bed with a light sleeper.

    “Aubrey?” he murmured. “Where you going?”

    “I have to pee,” I lied as I stood up from the bed. I walked up next to him and placed the wash cloth—it was still damp and cool—back on his forehead. “I’ll be back.”

    “Okay,” he babbled as he drifted back to sleep.

    I grabbed my cell phone and wandered into the bathroom.
  3. kadoodle

    kadoodle crazy cat lady Staff Member

    Oooh, tricky. You've dialled this up a notch, can't wait to see how it all goes down. Yikes.
  4. MarieArt

    MarieArt Champion of Losers

    Chp 15

    “When you finally close the window, you find an open door, but it’s up to you to walk right through and forget about before…” –William Beckett-‘Compromising Me’
    “When my thoughts lay down in sheets/When my words fail, you are poetry/You never give up on me” –William Beckett- ‘You Never Give Up’ which will probably serve as the song that will inspire a future chapter

    Lost, I felt entirely lost. Everything that I knew seemed to empty itself right in front of me leaving nothing more than outlines of a world I seemed to be pretty comfortable in. I spoke to Brad every other day and texted on and off for several days; he was in Nevada and planning on traveling back home, so I wouldn’t be seeing him as much. I weighed the pros and cons only to realize he was probably just another person who entered and exited my life. I was okay with that after a little thought.

    I wandered into the living room after noticing Gerard had gotten up long before me; I lied there quite some time wondering if he was coming back. Since Brad left, I had become more attached to my dear friend. I closed the bedroom door behind me and noticed someone sitting on the couch holding an ice pack on their face.

    “I can’t fucking believe it!” he screamed.

    “Frank?” I muttered walking towards the couch and sitting next to him as Gerard rummaged around in the kitchen. “What happened?”

    His eye gradually made its way to my face, “Jamia and I had a fight…” His eye fell to the floor, “I didn’t hit her back if you’re wondering, but she gave me a punch to the face and a kick in the balls.”

    I snorted gaining a glare. “Frank I’m sorry, it’s the way you said it.” I looked down and saw an ice pack between his elbow and his knee. “What happened there?”

    “Gerard said my elbow was swollen… I must’ve hit it on my way out.”

    “Bless your heart.” I smiled weakly, “Let me see your eye.” He gently pulled the ice pack away from his face and turned towards me. His eye was swelled shut and a ring shaped bruise was forming under it. “Wow…”

    “That was before she threw the engagement ring at me…”

    “Why? What started it?”

    “Rumors,” Frank murmured putting the ice back on his eye. “Someone at work told her they saw me sleeping with another woman…”

    “Did you sleep with another woman?” I asked gaining a weak gaze. “Frank!”

    “I didn’t have sex with another woman, I simply shared a bed with my cousin… There’s a fucking difference between sleeping with someone and sharing a bed with someone… It just happened to be a cousin Jamia’s never met, so she won’t believe a word I say.”

    “So you slept with your cousin?”

    “I shared the bed with my cousin! Damn, don’t fucking joke around with me right now!” Frank glared at the floor.

    “Excuse me,” I retorted sarcastically. “I’m sorry. I’m being really insensitive.”

    “You didn’t have to point out the obvious,” he stated with a grin creeping up on his face followed by a small giggle.

    “Smartass,” I scoffed standing up. “I’m going to help Gerard look for whatever he’s looking for.”

    “He’s not looking for anything…” Frank replied cuing me to sit back down. “He does that when he’s aggravated about something.”

    “I’ve never seen him do it before.” I glanced back at him then at Frank.

    “Don’t look, it’s kind of like a baby deer; approaching him will make him run away,” he stated seriously before cracking a smile. “Don’t spook a deer.” Another giggle escaped him. That’s what I loved about Frank, his charm and humor. Someone could beat him senseless and he would still stand back up to crack a joke or spit in their face.

    We both looked at each other for a few seconds before Gerard began cursing something on the counter resulting in laughter from me and Frank.

    “What the fuck is so damn funny?!”

    I fell over on the couch while Frank laughed himself into tears, “Oh God, it hurts!”

    When I finally stopped—and Frank continued—I loomed over the back of the couch and said, “Gerard, honey, what are you doing? The kitchen is as clean as it is going to get.”

    “I saw the text messages…” he muttered leaning on the counter.

    “Text messages?” Frank stopped laughing and looked at me.

    “What are you doing looking at my phone?” I huffed feeling every muscle in my body tense up.

    “It kept beeping, so I hit the button; I ended up reading them…”

    “So… We’re not a couple, Gerard,” I stated gaining weak glances from Frank, who now was an innocent bystander. “What’s wrong with innocent text messages to a friend whom is no longer in the state?”

    “He sent an ‘I Love You’ this morning…”

    I felt like someone punched me in the face, “What?”

    “Yeah… I don’t trust him, Aubrey,” he said in a calmer voice. “Frank, tell her.”

    “Tell me what?” I redirected my attention to Frank.

    “My band opened for his a few times; he’s with a different girl everytime he’s in town,” he muttered trying not to look at me.

    Frank never lies about anything even if it’s jokingly. “So… He’s just a friend.” The pit of my stomach clenched. “You didn’t send ‘I love you’ back did you?” Gerard shook his head before I continued, “Then we really have nothing to worry about. I truly do not have feelings for him.” I did tell the truth; I was attracted to Brad, but I did not want to be any more than just friends.
  5. kadoodle

    kadoodle crazy cat lady Staff Member

    Poor little Frank! I've been in that situation before and damn it sucks.

    There is just so much going on here that I don't know what to say....damn Brad, Gerard don't be a smeghead and read a girl's texts, gahhhhhh!

  6. Well, all I can say is that atleast she hasn't got feelings for him. Cause all I can see is heartbreak and problems further down that road. It's a road I've travelled often.

    I couldn't think what to write the previous chapter, sorry! I'm just left dumbfounded every time I read an update
  7. MarieArt

    MarieArt Champion of Losers

    Chp 16

    This is actually a pre-existing piece of writing I found on my laptop; instead of Gerard, it was a guy named Adam. I reused, revised, and recycled lol; I just changed the name, switched stuff around, and made it go with the storyline.
    Frank ended up spending the night before Jamia called and let him explain; Charlene really was his cousin and sharing the bed is different than ‘sleeping’ with someone. What happened to the days where you could freely say, “Me and so-and-so slept together last night. Best sleep I’ve had in ages”? Now you have to say “we just shared the bed” and everyone still covers their mouths like you did something besides sleep.

    Once Frank left, Gerard and I wandered around each other in the kitchen trying to cook dinner. At times, I felt his hand linger on the small of my back when he would lean over to retrieve something—like a glass from the sink or to grab a fork out of the drawer—and I could have swore he kept doing it on purpose. Seriously, I do not think he did it to aggravate me, but to show that he still cared for me. I truly believe we weren’t just friends nor were we in a relationship, we were just two people who lived and cared about each other. Despite the small touches, dinner seemed to be pretty quiet. Something about him had clicked with me in some way, shape or form, yet I could not put my finger on it. Neither of us looked at each other through the meal. We finished at the same time and returned our plates to the sink.

    I commenced washing dishes when I watched him out of the corner of my eye; he opened the cabinet door next to the refrigerator and pulled an object out. Returning my attention to the dishes, I felt his arm wrap around my waist, “How about you leave those dishes and we have some of this?”

    I glanced at what he had gotten from the cabinet, “Wine tonight? I was thinking about a movie…” Something about the way he kissed my neck then rested the bridge of his nose on the same spot made me drop a plate back into the sink. “Wine and a movie?”


    “What has gotten into you?” I asked trying to sound playfully.

    “Wanted to be more spontaneous.” He kept the bridge of his nose in the same spot and took in a deep breath before he rested his chin on my shoulder. “Ya know, trying to make up for all of the stupid shit I’ve said and done.” He placed the bottle on the counter and wrapped his other arm around my waist. “I’m sorry for reading your texts, which was very immature of me. I’m sorry for running away a few months ago and being stupid enough to not contact you. Take this as an apology or a romantic night in, your choice.”

    “Both,” I muttered placing the dish cloth in the sink. “The dishes can wait.” I turned around to give him my full attention and his face was mere centimeters from mine. I took in his scent—stale cigarette smoke and some kind of mint. Someone is really trying to impress someone else tonight and I’m not the one doing the impressing… I do not know what got into him, who he talked to, or if he was under the influence of something, but I actually kind of like this spontaneous side.

    He tucked a piece of my hair behind my ear and gave me a warm smile, “I love you. I do not care if we’re a couple or just friends; I just fucking love you.” Before I could even respond, his lips pressed against mine. There, something else existed, if that even makes sense. If it looks like a Gerard, sounds like a Gerard, feels like a Gerard, is it a Gerard? At that point in time, I didn’t care. All those years I dated all sorts of men, but was the right one right in front of me the whole damn time? Was this what I wanted all along?

    He lifted me up so I could sit on the counter and ended up tipping over the wine bottle. I jumped out of my skin into his arms as we both commenced laughing at out sudden scare, “Maybe it wants us to have some?” I smiled with my cheek pressed up against his staring at the wine bottle rolling back and forth on the counter.

    “Shall we?” he asked still holding on to me for dear life. I nodded before he let me down and retrieved two wine glasses from the cabinet then opened the bottle to pour both glasses half full. Handing me one, he clanked his against mine, “To us.”

    I giggled lightly, “To us.”

    Soon enough we had gone through a bottle and a half of wine. He had yet to kiss me again, besides a few pecks on the cheek while we watched two or three movies, but I didn’t mind at all. They were more innocent; not as spontaneous, but innocent enough. That night, instead of him snuggled up to me, I cuddled up to him. For some reason, I felt like it was more fitting. He wrapped his arm around my shoulder and laced his fingers together with mine in his lap.

    “This is very nice, sweetheart,” I muttered staring at the screen; we were watching the Watchmen.


    “This. Not putting any thought into it and just being in each other’s company; going with what we feel is right instead of trying to be something else…” I stated softly feeling the alcohol induced fatigue taking over me.

    “I definitely have to agree with you…”
  8. You see that's how it should be! This is how it should work! When you put labels on things it just causes pressure, it causes all of this unnecessary crap that leads to fights and THIS is how it should have worked all along.

    So you can tell that I highly approve of the chapter and think you should update as as soon as you can :)
  9. MarieArt

    MarieArt Champion of Losers

    Thank you! I knew you'd like it. And I definitely agree, putting labels on stuff just sours the relationship. Hopefully everyone gets to experience a moment like this. I had one pretty close to this minus the kissing; the guy is gay and we've been friends for 8 years. I love my friends so much.
  10. ^ My best friend and I are currently going through the 'should we/are we/could we' part. He's always had a major crush on me and until very recently I didn't feel the same. But he's going to live on the other side of the country now so we're kind of in the confusion stage.
    So I relate to this quite heavily. And I just wanna really thank you for writing this.

  11. MarieArt

    MarieArt Champion of Losers

    I've always wanted to write something people could relate to, but it took me several years to have multiple experiences to even come up with a storyline. This story is based on 7 guys--2 in unknown bands, 3 exboyfriends, and 2 guy friends--Gerard's character is all 7 in one without having split personalities haha.

    Hopefully you and your friend keep in touch. I know how horrible it is to have a friend/potential significant other move far away. Its difficult.
  12. kadoodle

    kadoodle crazy cat lady Staff Member

    7 people showing facets in one character! That's impressive.
  13. MarieArt

    MarieArt Champion of Losers

    Chp 17

    Moments like this... Awkward.
    The next morning, my eyes cracked open then slammed closed; the room was brighter than the sun. I rolled over and felt his presence in front of me, so I started to wrap my arm around him then shortly decided not to. For some reason, I felt like it was forbidden. My eyes cracked open once again to find his eyes.

    “Good morning,” he stated hoarsely.

    Glancing down, I noticed he lacked a shirt, which was not unusual. What was unusual about the situation? I’ll answer that by simply replying with my shirt did not exist; undergarments, yes—clothes in general, no. I felt my eyes grow wide as I pulled the blanket over me; Gerard did the same once he realized he too had nothing but underwear on.

    “What happened last night?” I asked.

    “Last thing I remember, we were watching a movie,” Gerard muttered as his cheeks turned pink.

    The door swung open revealing Frank, “Good.—Holy shit… I’m sorry!” He slammed the door.

    I buried my face in the pillow, “I can never face him again.”

    Gerard giggled, “Yes you can. Come on, let’s go in there.”

    “I’m putting clothes on first.”

    “Did I say, hey how about we go in there half naked and ask Frank to join us?” Gerard scoffed throwing his legs over the edge of the bed and commenced sliding on a pair of jeans. I lied there covered from head to toe listening to Gerard scoot sleepily around the room. “Aubrey, c’mon.” I felt him tug the blanket, “Come on, please.”

    “I can’t face Frank.”

    “Aubrey, I didn’t see anything. It’s safe,” I heard Frank say through the door.

    I sat up in bed when Gerard tossed a t-shirt and an old pair of jeans, “Freaking embarrassing.” I pulled the shirt over my head and stood up cursing under my breath. Flinging my legs into each pant leg, I felt my face beginning to burn. “Frank, you’re supposed to knock before you enter someone’s bedroom!”

    “Well, I wasn’t expecting to see my friend half-naked!” he giggled through the door.

    I stepped in front of Gerard and flung door open, “Smartass!” I punched his arm and stormed pass him. “I can’t even look at you right now.”

    “Oh, c’mon Aubrey,” Frank muttered seeming more sincere this time. “I didn’t mean to. I have no intentions of telling anyone.”

    “Promise?” Gerard asked closing the bedroom door.

    “I promise! Damn, you guys act like I walked in on you ‘doing the dirrty’,” he laughed combing his fingers through his hair. “I’ll not say a word. Why be ashamed of it anyway? You two were meant for each other anyway.”

    I redirected my attention to Gerard—he returned the same blank expression I gave him—as I pulled a carton of eggs out of the refrigerator. “How about we go out for breakfast? I’m really not in the mood to cook.”

    “Good idea, let’s go,” Frank exclaimed enthusiastically. “I’ll call Jamia on our way and have her meet us. Usual place, Dale’s?”

    “Dale’s sounds great, Frank,” I muttered returning the eggs.
  14. kadoodle

    kadoodle crazy cat lady Staff Member

  15. MarieArt

    MarieArt Champion of Losers

    School begins Monday so I don't know how often updates will be. Hopefully once a week like I've been doing... First week will be hectic and the semester ends in early December.
  16. This. Too fucking funny
  17. MarieArt

    MarieArt Champion of Losers

    Chp 18

    School begins tomorrow, so next update will be next Friday or Saturday unless I dig out some free time during the week.
    I asked for love, mercy, and patience; he gave it all to me. Something deep down told me that it, all of it, was too good to be true. The subtle romance seemed like a cover up for something that could have bared a much deeper meaning. No, I could not place my finger on it. I would roll over on my side at times just to catch a glimpse of him thinking that he had something else in mind other than simply staring at the back of my head or wanting a decent night of sleep.

    Seriously nothing happened within the next two and a half months besides me getting a job at a local lawyer’s office while Gerard landed a job with a graphic novel company—if memory serves me correctly, the company was Dark Horse. We moved into a one story house which had a wonderful finished basement; we used the basement for a movie room and Gerard’s office away from his office slash art studio.

    Walking through the front door, I draped my jacket over the back of the couch and slid my shoes off. That day had been horribly long and the lawyer I worked for lost a case, and he seemed to run all over everyone caught his in path. I drug my feet through the small hallway leading to the bathroom and heard music thundering in the basement. I redirected my path and wandered to the open door then crept down the stairs. Did I mention the album playing was Maniacal Laughter by The Bouncing Souls? I loomed over the railing to take a peek into his office area and saw him drawing away. Wandering down the second half of stairs, I stepped on the area rug and cleared my throat.

    “Gerard!” He kept drawing, so I stepped a little closer. “Gerard!” I took a few more steps, merely two feet away from him, “GERARD!”

    He jumped and everything he had in his hands—cigarette in one and an art pen in the other—flew up in the air, “Damn it! Don’t sneak up on me like that!”

    “Well!” I exclaimed as I reached for the volume dial and turned the music down. “If you’d have it a little bit lower, you could probably hear me screaming when I was at the bottom of the stairs…” I knew something was wrong because he rarely listened to his music that loud.

    He combed his fingers through his hair, “Sorry. I’ve had a bad day.” I knew it. “I’m on a strict deadline and I’ve overlooked it twice thinking it won’t take me that long and now I figured out it’s going to take me all day and night to reach it. It’s due tomorrow at six.”

    “It’s okay,” I gave him a weak smile. “You can do it, baby-doll.” I rubbed his shoulder and sighed, “I’ll go fix dinner.”

    “I don’t even have time to eat.” He returned to his work in progress.

    “You need to eat a little something; I’ll fix a sandwich and cut it in half so you can eat with one hand and keep working with the other,” I suggested hoping he’d agree, but he begged to differ.

    “I can go one night without dinner. I had lunch, I’m fine,” he muttered vaguely. “Just go upstairs, I cannot concentrate with you staring at me.”

    “Fine.” I noticed we did nothing but argue everyday for the past week or two. I jogged up the stairs and wandered into the bathroom to change into more comfortable clothes; tomorrow started a three day weekend. “He’ll be in a better mood tomorrow.” I slung my blouse in the hamper and slid an old t-shirt over my head. “Hopefully.” I then tossed my black dress pants in the hamper as well then stared into the mirror. We’re not a couple, but we act like we’ve been married for fifty years. Taking in a deep breath, I exited the bathroom and saw Gerard leaning against the wall next to the basement door. “Thought your deadline was tomorrow at six.”

    “Don’t be like that,” he stated harshly. “I called them and said I was going to be a little late, so they gave me two more days. How about we go out?”

    “No, I’ve had a rough day,” I replied walking in the other direction.

    “Don’t walk away from me, honey,” Gerard muttered in a softer voice.

    “Gerard, I’m tired…” I whined almost on the verge of tears turning around to face him. “I’m not in the mood for this right now. I have a three day weekend and I’d like to rest. How about you work on your comic tonight, and we go out tomorrow?”

    He stared at me for a minute and responded, “Okay, and that sandwich idea sounds nice…”


    “Yes, please.” He sounded like a scorned child.

    Soon enough, I walked down into the basement with his dinner and gently set it next to him. The music was lower than it was earlier and he had progressed wonderfully. “I cut it in half for you.”

    “Thanks.” He turned around and smiled, “I’m sorry.” His eyes were red and puffy like he had been crying.

    “What’s wrong, sweetheart?” I rested my forearms on his shoulders and stood behind him. “You have nothing to be sorry about, you’re just stressed out.”

    He leaned his head back to face me as tears streamed down both sides of his face, “It doesn’t give me an excuse to yell at you.”
  18. kadoodle

    kadoodle crazy cat lady Staff Member

    Oh he's a sulky, grumpy little princess at times! I thought for a moment he was going to attack or pressure her into sex. I'm glad he's better than that.
  19. MissCimi

    MissCimi Nerd

    Just read all of this and I can't explain how amazing I think it is =]
    It's so well-written and really gets to me
    Despite everything, I think they're perfect for each other.
    Can't wait for the next update. Take your time.
  20. MarieArt

    MarieArt Champion of Losers

    Thank you :)

    Definitely Mandy, he can be a sulky, grumpy little princess at times.

    And I meant Friday or Saturday not NEXT Friday or Saturday. Whoops, that's what I get for typing too fast.

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