Uncomfortably Numb

Discussion in 'Completed Fan Fictions' started by MarieArt, Apr 9, 2012.

  1. MarieArt

    MarieArt Champion of Losers


    Rating: 15+​

    Main Characters: Aubrey (OFC), Gerard, appearances from Mikey and Frank.

    Summary: You never dream of falling for your best friend, but it can be much more complicated than that.

    Genre: Friendship, Angst, Hints of Romance

    Author’s Note: I’m in school right now so updates will be slow until December. Thanks for patience. I do not have contact with the band, never spoke to them, do not wish they would part with their wives, etc.

    Chapter Index:
    Page One-Chp 1, Chp2
    Page Two-Chp 3, Chp 4
    Page Three -Chp 5, Chp 6
    Page Four - Chp 7
    Page Five - Chp 8, Chp 9, Chp 10
    Page Six - Chp 11, Chp 12, Chp 13
    Page Seven - Chp 14, Chp 15, Chp 16
    Page Eight - Chp 17, Chp 18
    Page Nine - Chp 19, Chp 20, Chp 21
    Page Ten - Chp 22, Chp 23, Chp 24
    Page Eleven - Chp 25 FINAL
  2. MarieArt

    MarieArt Champion of Losers

    Chp 1

    How much does it hurt to care? Just once; one time is all I ask. The sick feeling deep inside will go away if someone would care. Care enough to open a door for a stranger, or smile and wave at someone who lets you by while driving. Care enough to help someone up from the ground when they fall, instead of hysterically cackling. Care enough to… To do anything else besides being the rotten human being that you have become, but you can’t do that, can you? You decided long ago you would be an empty shell and not care. Do not blame me for your lack of effort; I didn’t do a damned thing. I knew that one inevitable day I will die and my life would flash before my eyes, but you know what I kept in my mind from that moment on? To answer the rhetorical question, I—to this day—am making sure it is worth watching. Those flashing images will show me that I at least did something in my life or somehow made a good impact on someone. Yours will bear the ugly truth. How you destroyed beautiful things to make them perfect, whether it be inanimate or breathing. How you wasted half your life…

    I’m pretty sure I’m ruining the story. Letting you foreshadow the untold events and become sick of it from the start. Please, read on. The core of the rant is a ‘friend’—I’m trying to figure out a new title—who is trudging on very thin ice.

    “Aubrey, it’s not worth it,” someone broke my train of thought.

    “Be he-“

    “Is not worth it,” he stated softly. “What’d he do?”

    “We broke up and he’s saying the most God awful things about me.”

    “And you care why?”

    “Gerard, just shut up.” I shot him a look which didn’t last long. “What’s that face for?”

    “What face?”

    “That goofy ass grin you get everytime I’m pissed off about something; that face,” I said harshly.

    “What grin?”

    “Fine,” I snapped and crossed one leg over the other. “Quiet time.” I propped my elbow up on my knee and cupped my chin in my hand.

    “Purgatory?” he murmured lacing his fingers together.

    “I’d rather go to hell, and where’d that come from? Am I in need of punishment?” I snapped.

    “It is defined as ‘any condition of temporary punishment, suffering, or anything along the lines of that’,” he stated like the breathing and walking dictionary he is. “It got your mind off of it.”

    I must have given him a stupid look because his goofy ass grin returned, “Whatever.” I mindlessly tucked a small piece of his messy black hair behind his ear, “You’re the only person that has ever been good to me. I appreciate that.”
    Yay or nay?
    I haven't written anything besides class notes in a long time.
  3. Chemical 30

    Chemical 30 Just 'That' Girl

    New story!!! Yay!!!!
    This seems like it will be really good and I can't wait to see where you go with it
    Count me in as a reader ;)
  4. Yay!

    I was trying tostay clear of the FF part of this forum seeing as I start to read too many and I lose track of what's going on, BUT

    I saw it was written by you, and you are an exception because I adore your writing.
  5. kadoodle

    kadoodle crazy cat lady Staff Member

    Love it :)
  6. MarieArt

    MarieArt Champion of Losers

    I love you all :)

    I'll try to have another chapter up tonight.
  7. MarieArt

    MarieArt Champion of Losers

    Chp 2

    The mirror seemed to mesmerize him. He had been standing in front of it staring for at least 20 minutes while I perched myself on the edge of the bed gawking at the floor. I looked up at his reflection and watched his slightly agape lips form silent words. Never have I seen him so quiet. It scared me actually. He took in a breath and blinked a few times before running his index finger along a small bruise forming below his left eye.

    “Gerard?” I muttered biting my lip. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know.”

    His silence still lingered as the emotionlessly eyes in his reflection looked at me, “It’s not your fault. Dad just loses his temper at times and gets a little angry when someone mentions certain things, especially when someone mentions him making a difference between his children.”

    “I was just telling the truth.”

    “The truth hurts,” he winced as his fingers drew near the bruise. “Thanks for taking me in, and like I said, it’s only for tonight.”

    “Gerard, you’ve stayed with me several times. What makes this time any different?” I asked lying back on my bed.

    “Last time I spent the night with you, I was eighteen and you were seventeen; I’m twenty-five now.” He made a face and turned around to face me, and leaned on my dresser.

    “So… The only difference is that we’re older and we’re in my apartment instead of my parents’ house.” I rolled onto my side. “It’s not like we’re going to do anything, right?”

    “Right,” he stated hesitantly. “What about what’s-his-name?”

    “What about him?” I sat up and took in a deep breath. “We broke up and I’m not going to be stupid enough to go back, so fuck whatever he thinks about it. Even if he did have something to say about it, he knows me and you have been friends since third grade.”

    A microscopic smile formed on his face, “True.”

    “And we know each other more than anyone else in this world. You’ve always been there for me and I’ve always been there for you,” I glanced up at his eyes. “And we both know…”

    “I get it, Aubrey,” he snapped now sitting on my dresser amongst my trinkets. He picked up a necklace he gave to me years ago. “Friends forever…” He chewed on his lip and stared at the necklace made out of faded red yarn and brightly colored beads.

    “Whatever happened to you and that girl you were talking to?”

    “She found someone else.” He glanced up at me and smiled weakly, “It always seems to happen to me right? I guess I’m not the big macho man girls want.”

    “Don’t say that. You’re a great guy and any girl would be lucky to have you.”

    Raising an eyebrow he scoffed, “Yeah. I am a fabulous piece of man.” He set the necklace back on the dresser and hopped down. “I’m going to take a shower.”

    When he exited the room, my thoughts rushed through my head like a wild fire and one in particular stuck out to me, If only you knew how great you are… I stepped into the living room and grabbed the phone and dialed Gerard’s younger brother’s cell phone number.

    “Hello?” he spoke vaguely.

    “Mikey, it’s Aubrey,” I said tracing the sticker stuck on my coffee table. “Gerard’s here and I was wandering if there’s something I could do to cheer him up? I’ve tried everything that normally peps him up.”

    “He has been acting funny lately.” He fell silent for a few minutes and resumed, “Want me and Frank to come over?”

    “Sure. Seeing his friend and his brother might do the trick.”
    Next update will be sometime this weekend. This story may skip around in days and events instead of going day by day like 90% of the rest of my stories.

    inspiration for the beginning came from the photo in the banner.
  8. Really amazing :)
    As you may remember I am not good at leaving well worded comments. So you will have to excuse me for that.

    This Weekend? But that's so far away..... But I will wait (im)patiently
  9. Chemical 30

    Chemical 30 Just 'That' Girl

    Yay update! haha
    I'm already hooked, I can tell this is going to be a great story :)
    Imma hit Gerard's father with a wooden spoon because he hit him....bad papa -.-
    Anywho great chapter and I'm anxious for more
  10. Stefff

    Stefff New Member

    This is really good! Can't wait for more :') xx
  11. MarieArt

    MarieArt Champion of Losers

    Chp 3

    In the depths of the soul, no man or woman can truly pour out their emotions without being criticized by their one and only, or someone he or she saw as their one and only. Internally, some get deeply affected by a person breaking their heart.

    Exert from another story of mine from a few years ago entitled “Limitations of Truth”; not online. I'll try to update again sometime this week.

    I studied his facial features as he placed a cigarette loosely between his lips. The displeased expression led me to believe my decision of inviting Mikey and Frank might not be the greatest idea. I had yet to tell him, but he looked as though he was in no mood for company.

    “Mikey and Frank are coming over,” I muttered breaking his concentration.

    The smoke swirled into the air, “What?” Taking a long drag from his cigarette, he leaned back in the armchair and exhaled. “Why are they coming over?”

    “I thought you’d like some friend time.”

    “I’m fine with it, I guess. Maybe that is what I need,” he stated flicking ashes into a soda can he had resting on his thigh. “I haven’t seen either of them in a month or so.”

    Several hours went by and Gerard seemed to enjoy having Frank and Mikey’s company. He laughed and carried on with them as I cleared off the bed in my guest room; I might have lived there for a year and a half by that time, but I didn’t exactly unpack everything. I moved a few small boxes and some winter clothes before the laughing ceased. I heard a few serious statements come from Frank and Mikey, such as, “Well, you know we’re always here for you, man.”

    I made the bed and fluffed up two extra pillows I kept for guests when someone knocked on the door.

    “Aubrey, Mikey and I are going to head out; I have a show and Mikey promised his Alicia he was going to come over tonight,” Frank muttered cracking the door open.

    “Okay, sweetheart. Sorry I didn’t get to spend time with you guys as well,” I said walking towards him. “Hopefully I get to do so next time.”

    “Definitely,” he responded hugging me. “It was nice see ya.”

    “Nice seeing you too.”

    Once they left, Gerard glanced up at me, “Thank you.”

    “No problem,” I stated shutting the guestroom door. “I cleaned all my shit off of the bed.”
    Gerard stayed with me for a week, and in those seven days he changed a lot. For example, his black hair went blond on day five. Day seven, on the other hand, things got a little weird.
  12. Chemical 30

    Chemical 30 Just 'That' Girl

    Cliffhanger!! Ugh why do you this to us haha
    Great chapter ;) Excited for more
  13. Stefff

    Stefff New Member

    I'm really liking this story :') keep writing 'cause you are really good xx
  14. Urgh cliff hanger! Why!?
    To keep us reading of course :p
  15. MarieArt

    MarieArt Champion of Losers

    Chp 4

    This version of the song “Not Over You” by Gavin DeGraw serves as inspiration for this chapter:

    Gerard stood near an open window and quietly smoked his cigarette. He told me he would eventually quit, but no progress seemed to be made. He acted weird, even for him; his sketch book was full of random doodles that he pretty much kept to himself. On top of it all, I’d catch him glancing at me with emotionless expressions.

    I woke up one morning to a couch with two suitcases stacked up on each other and a smaller bag on top. He stood quietly in the kitchen drinking a cup of coffee staring at a newspaper article. Stepping into my small kitchen, I poured a mug full of black coffee and commenced mixing in a packet of creamer and sweetener.

    “I found an apartment across town,” he noted setting down the newspaper. “It’s not the best looking place in the world, but it has potential.”

    I conjured up the best facial expression I could, “That’s great, sweetheart. Leaving today?”

    “When I finish my coffee.” He sighed and gave me a weak smile, “I didn’t want to up and leave without you knowing.”

    “You could stay a little longer and find a better apartment, I don’t mind,” I suggested receiving a non-verbal ‘No’.

    “I think it’s for the best. I know you don’t want me living here forever.” He placed his empty cup in the sink and smiled. “I’ll come by to visit and I hope you’ll do the same.”

    “Sure.” I wasn’t too excited about his sudden choice, but whatever he thinks is best for him. I did not want to be the person to stand in his way.

    With his belongings, he opened the door and stood there for a moment until I approached him, “Don’t be a stranger; you’re always welcome here.” Folding my arms, I took in a deep breath hoping he would change his mind and stay a little longer.

    He nodded and kissed me between the eyes, “I know. I’ll come for a visit soon enough.” His feet dragged themselves out of the door as he gradually waved. “Bye.”

    A month flew by and I had not heard from him. I knew he didn’t have a cell phone anymore and hoped his new apartment had a telephone, but I’m beginning to think he didn’t even have that. I found myself missing him; I missed his jokes, his quirks, and his company.

    One morning I got dressed and went to a small café down the street where we would go every Saturday afternoon for coffee and a good conversation. I seated myself in the spot we normally sat, which had a good view of the large window, and quietly drew invisible circles on the counter. Once I had ordered, I stared outside and watched people wonder by. I used to scurry by late for work on beautiful days like this; the job I got laid off from when the office filed bankruptcy. We all saw it coming, so we all settled for temporary unemployment checks until we found a new job. Me, I never found one, nor did Gerard.

    My steaming coffee lingered in front of me waiting to be sipped on, but I never touched it. I could have watched it grow cold, but forced myself to take large drinks of it until I couldn't drink anymore.

    “Why so glum?” someone asked sitting next to me in Gerard’s normal spot. I watched a tattooed hand pat my free hand. “Hello?”

    I looked to my right to find Frank smiling at me, “I don’t know.”

    “Miss him, don’t you?” Frank stated taking a sip of my coffee.

    “We’re just friends, Frank.”

    “You’ve been friends for years, Aubrey. I mean fucking years,” he smirked and scooted the half drank coffee in front of me. “I think it’s about time for the part of your friendship where you both realize you wanted more out of it all along.”

    I gave him a questionable look, “Frank.”

    “Just saying. I’ve seen you two together, that ain’t friendship.”

    “Yes it is. We’re always there for each other.”

    “Aubrey, that’s also what boyfriends and girlfriends are for,” he started then kept rambling. “Look at me and Jamia. We knew each other for a long time and one day realized we were there for each other no matter what.”

    “Friends do that too, Frank,” I scoffed taking a drink of my now room temperature coffee.

    “I also know that Gerard thought he felt the same, perhaps,” Frank muttered dragging my mug away from me. “That’s why he left.”

    I placed my hand on top of the mug before he took another drink, “What are you saying Frank? I’m the reason no one has heard from him? Bullshit.”

    “Not complete bullshit, my dear friend,” he stated sarcastically swatting my hand away. “He didn’t think you felt the same way, so he stopped trying to woo you and found that shitty apartment.”

    I stared at him not believing a word of it, “What?” That’s one of very few words I still could muster up.

    “He moved out one month ago, right?” he asked scooting the cup to me with merely a drink left.

    “Yes.” I took the last drink.

    “How long did it take for you to miss him?”
    Longer chapter. I slept through my alarm this morning and decided to lurk around the internet for inspiration and this is what poured out.
  16. Chemical 30

    Chemical 30 Just 'That' Girl

    Haha Frank Iero relationship master ;)
    I agree with him though he seems to know his stuff haha
    Once again great chapter and I'm anxious for more
  17. XOLauzzCHEM

    XOLauzzCHEM Member

    This is great. You've gained another reader.
  18. kadoodle

    kadoodle crazy cat lady Staff Member

    Love your work, as always :)
  19. I love how simply Frank puts it. Really quite amazing.
    See my friends, they stick me in a room with the guy and yell through the door to be quiet while we jump each other. Which doesn't happen. Ever.

    I wonder why he hasn't at least given her a ring or dropped by. It's strange...
  20. MarieArt

    MarieArt Champion of Losers

    I've had a super busy weekend, so the next update might be next weekend. This week is my last week of school until August, so updates will be more frequent. Thanks for being patient.

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