The World Is Ugly

Discussion in 'Completed Fan Fictions' started by KilljoyKitten, Nov 25, 2010.

  1. KilljoyKitten

    KilljoyKitten New Member

    Title: The World Is Ugly

    Rating: 16+ ; Sex, Violence

    Summary: Frank has a secret, and so does Gerard. And Mikey knows them both.

    Genre: Romance, Drama.

    Disclaimer: I don't know or own any of My Chemical Romance

    ~

    Chapter Index-

    This post - Chapter 1 The World Is Ugly
    Chapter 2 - The Sharpest Lives Are The Deadliest To Lead (Page 1)
    Chapter 3 - Because The Drugs Never Work (Page 1)
    Chapter 4 - The Only Hope For Me Is You - And I Mean That (Page 1)
    Chapter 5 - Demolition Lovers (Page 1)

    The pure, vacant look in his eyes told me there was something wrong.
    "You okay?" I asked him as he sat just infront of me, on the sofa - he was shaking slightly, but hey, the only liquid in our house is coffee so that wasn't exactly unusual. He simply nodded after a pause of what seemed like forever. I nodded vaguely in return and stood up. My legs hurt from kneeling on the ground. "I'm gonna follow Gee's example and go to bed now. You coming?" He smiled at me. "Mikey I've told you before - I'm not sleeping with you."
    "oh haha, seriously?" The smile vanished. "Yeah, sure. Just give me two seconds there's some stuff I need to do first." I didn't know if he was being ambiguous on purpose or not. "Don't do anything stupid Frank." He didn't move. I sighed and made my way to the room next to the bathroom - i.e, my bedroom. As I sunk under the unicorn clad duvet (don't ask) I prayed to god he would be okay.

    My dreams shattered and my eyes forced themselves open. "I hate that fucking alarm clock so fucking much!!" I vented to myself. I looked at the flashing red digits on the front of the useless thing - 5:43 am. "Uuuugghghhhuurrghaaaaaaa" I moaned in irritation. In doing so I rolled of the side of my bed. It hurt but I was kinda used to it so I didn't really feel it. Well I'm awake now.. I thought to myself. I opened the door and turned to use the bathroom, but as I began to open the door a bright light burned my eyes. The door was still ajar yet hardly open so I didn't exactly look on purpose - I just saw. And I didn't like what I saw, in fact it made me sick.

    The pills were in his hand. I could tell they were Gerard's...stuff because the drawer he thinks nobody knows about that he keeps them in was open, but I didn't know what the stuff actually was. I didn't know what to do, I couldn't think straight, so don't tell me I should have gone in and stopped him. Because I know nothing would be different, I would never have been able to change anything. So in my panic I went back into my room. I sat on the bed and calmed myself down, it only took me a few seconds, but I still didn't know what to do. I found myself walking towards Gerard's room, out of all the people in the world this would upset him the most - but i had to do something. I could hear him snoring before I opened the door. He opened his eyes just as I was about to wake him up, he always did that.

    "This better be important - and you didn't even bring me coffee!" He joked. I didn't smile. "What?" He lokoed positively worried now, I obviously wasn't keeping my fear well hidden. "What's wrong? Mikey seriously..."
    "It's.."
    I looked at him, his toxic green brown eyes were wide and sparkling. His lips were pale, thin and seperated slightly. His skin was pure white, contrasting with the darkness of his thick black hair, hiding half of his face. He was so innocent, so oblivious. I couldn't do this...
    "It's....Frank."
    He stiffened, but the look on his face didn't change - it was the kind of look where you can tell someone is thinking, but you can't tell what about, or what they are feeling. Suddenly there was a blood-curdling thump, the sound echoed in my ears. Gerard looked at me in desperation his eyes pleading me. I didn't know whether to run or stay. I just hoped it wasn't what I thought it was.
     
  2. KilljoyKitten

    KilljoyKitten New Member

    Chapter 2 - The Sharpest Lives Are The Deadliest To Lead

    As I watched the ambulance from the window carry one of my best friends further and further away from me I thought of what I should've done. I could have stopped him - before all of this. Before Gerard's massive crush, before the drugs, before it all. But I didn't. And now this has happened. Thinking back on it now - I expected this to happen, no, I knew it would. But I always thought it would be Gerard being rushed to hospital. I should have made him get rid of them, I should have made him stop - but I didn't have the heart.

    I shook my head in disgust for myself, and when i turned to see Gerard staring into his coffee the same as he has been for the last ten minutes, i hated myself even more. We were in Gerard's bedroom, there was no particular reason, we just were. He was sitting on the floor, his legs crossed his arms resting on them. He was leaning on his silk red duvet that had been torn from his bed when Frank fell. His eyes were blank, vacant and stained. His skin was even paler than usual, and tinted slightly green. He had already been sick. Meanwhile I stood with my back to his bedroom window, one hand adjusting my stupid fucking glasses, the other leaning on the 'sill. I was friggin' freezing 'cause I hadn't thought to put a jumper on and I was wearing a tee shrt, but there was more important things to deal with. What were we going to do? I didn't know. I didn't know much to be perfectly honest, I don't know how I'm supposed to deal with this kind of situation. I never did. I was pathetic.

    I blinked my thoughts away and picked up Frank's acoustic guitar. He gave it to Gerard when he first got into elctric and wanted Gerard to learn what he knew - Gerard sucked at it but he liked the guitar so Frank let him keep it. I played the tune to some Tokio Hotel song that I couldn't recall the name to...Monsoon I think, whatever it was called, it was one of my favourites. I couldn't speak, never mind sing so I just played the tune. When I finished Gerard stood up, throwing his coffee on the furry red rug during the process and gave me a hug through his tears.

    "Is it my fault?" He pulled away from me and looked in the vague direction of my face. His eyeliner was smudged all over his face, giving him massive black panda eyes. I looked at him with complete sincerity. "You don't really think that do you?" I asked him.
    He looked at the floor and let go of my arms. "They were mine, Mikey. I know they were - and so do you."
    "You don't know that for sure. He could have his own."
    "In my drawer? Mikey..."
    He cut off, choking on his own breath. I couldn't stand to see my big brother like this.
    "Maybe we could go and see him."
    He shook his head. "No, I don't want to see him like..like that."
    "But he probably feels so ashamed, and trust me, you are the person he will want to see the most."
    He flashed a smile at me. And me him.
    "Come on, fix your drag queen make-up and we'll take my car."

    As I watched the ambulance from the window carry one of my best friends further and further away from me I thought of what I should've done. I could have stopped him - before all of this. Before Gerard's massive crush, before the drugs, before it all. But I didn't. And now this has happened. Thinking back on it now - I expected this to happen, no, I knew it would. But I always thought it would be Gerard being rushed to hospital. I should have made him get rid of them, I should have made him stop - but I didn't have the heart.

    I shook my head in disgust for myself, and when i turned to see Gerard staring into his coffee the same as he has been for the last ten minutes, i hated myself even more. We were in Gerard's bedroom, there was no particular reason, we just were. He was sitting on the floor, his legs crossed his arms resting on them. He was leaning on his silk red duvet that had been torn from his bed when Frank fell. His eyes were blank, vacant and stained. His skin was even paler than usual, and tinted slightly green. He had already been sick. Meanwhile I stood with my back to his bedroom window, one hand adjusting my stupid fucking glasses, the other leaning on the 'sill. I was friggin' freezing 'cause I hadn't thought to put a jumper on and I was wearing a tee shrt, but there was more important things to deal with. What were we going to do? I didn't know. I didn't know much to be perfectly honest, I don't know how I'm supposed to deal with this kind of situation. I never did. I was pathetic.

    I blinked my thoughts away and picked up Frank's acoustic guitar. He gave it to Gerard when he first got into elctric and wanted Gerard to learn what he knew - Gerard sucked at it but he liked the guitar so Frank let him keep it. I played the tune to some Tokio Hotel song that I couldn't recall the name to...Monsoon I think, whatever it was called, it was one of my favourites. I couldn't speak, never mind sing so I just played the tune. When I finished Gerard stood up, throwing his coffee on the furry red rug during the process and gave me a hug through his tears.

    "Is it my fault?" He pulled away from me and looked in the vague direction of my face. His eyeliner was smudged all over his face, giving him massive black panda eyes. I looked at him with complete sincerity. "You don't really think that do you?" I asked him.
    He looked at the floor and let go of my arms. "They were mine, Mikey. I know they were - and so do you."
    "You don't know that for sure. He could have his own."
    "In my drawer? Mikey..."
    He cut off, choking on his own breath. I couldn't stand to see my big brother like this.
    "Maybe we could go and see him."
    He shook his head. "No, I don't want to see him like..like that."
    "But he probably feels so ashamed, and trust me, you are the person he will want to see the most."
    He flashed a smile at me. And me him.
    "Come on, fix your drag queen make-up and we'll take my car."
     
  3. KilljoyKitten

    KilljoyKitten New Member

    Chapter 3 - Because The Drugs Never Work

    We waited impatiently as a tall, slender nurse looked through a bunch of important-looking papers. She had that kinda mass-murderer look about her. I swear I saw her eye up Gerard, which in my opinion was freakin' hilarious. As she finally put the papers down and began to lead us to Frank's room I whispered to Gerard - "Shes got the hots for youu" I wasn't looking at him but out of the corner of my eye I saw him pull a face in absolute disgust.
    "What?!?" He sounded like I had accused him of theft or something.
    "She was totally checking you out!"
    "Well whatever, jokes on her - 'cause i don't roll dat wayyy!" He grinned at me. I was really proud of him for two reasons. One, because he was extremely confident about his sexuality now. At school he is constanlty teased for it, so often that me and ray were once his only friends, and we were both a few years younger than him. And after Ray's death...well, it just got so much worse. I even caught him trying to kill himself quite a few times, then Frank came into his art class to talk to the teacher about something one day, he complimented Gerard's work and they have been inseperable ever since. So I suppose you could say Frank saved him. Because he did. He gave him something to live for, which is something I could never do. And two, despite us being seconds away from seeing something I knew we were both dreading to a point that made you feel physically sick, he was still able to crack joke. God I love my bro.


    The nurse stopped right in front of us and we both almost walked straight into her but stopped just in time. "Be gentle - he is just at recover" Her accent was heavily german and her english sucked balls but we got the point. Gerard was looking at the floor, trying his hardest to stifle his laughter, he could wake the friggin' dead with his laugh. She walked away fast and clumsy, and Gerard went stiff and emotionless again, something he did when he was nervous. I gave him a pat on the back and walked into the silent room, he followed my lead. The room was completely white. Like, seriously. The walls were white, the bed was white, the cabinte. Even the freakin' lampshade on the white bed side table was white. The lampshade! While I was stupidly staring around the white clad room Gerard had walked over to Frank and sat to the right of his bed. I took the chair on his left-side. He was asleep, and his face was dirty, and the same colour as the rest of the room. He looked strangely peaceful. If anything was going to make Gerard quite drugs it was this. He stroked Frank's hair, removing it from the front of his face where it had lay previously. He gently lifted his eyelids at the touch of Gerard's finger, the cute little smile on his face made me want to cry. Gerard did. He pulled himself up, so he was sitting upright on his pillow.

    "Hey guys" he croaked, he obviously hadn't spoken since he got here. His lips were chapped and faded. There was an akward silence for a few moments, what could you say?
    "You look like shit" Gerard mumbled through his tears. Frank gave him a massive hug.
    "You can talk"
    "How they treating ya?" I asked as the two had their little moment.
    "Well that depends, if you like having pea soup for every meal and getting up at six in the morning so they can do some physco doctor stuff to ya then yeah, theres nothing better.
    "Sounds nice"
    He smirked.
    "Better than prison though" Gerard said.
    "Morbid way to think about it" Frank smiled at him.
    "Yeah well," He looked away "It can't really get any more morbid anyway can it."


    Suddenly it was akward again.


    "I'm sorry Gerard" Frank shook his head and hung his head in shame.
    "Vangool!" Gerard laughed sarcasticly and nervously. (he was fluent in Italian so sometimes he spoke in Italian for no reason) "I'm the one that should be sorry Frank." I felt strangely distant at this point. It felt like it was their story, their life. Like I was the extra, the one intruding on the privacy of the main charcter. The annoying one that allows follows your favourite around. Like Misty Waterflower to Ash Ketchum. I had to let go of my big brother. I realized that I was always depending on him, he was always the one I was with, the one to whom I told the tales of my day to. I didn't want to let go of him, but I smiled when I knew I had to. I didn't like it, but I wouldn't have it any other way.
     
  4. KilljoyKitten

    KilljoyKitten New Member

    Chapter 4 - The Only Hope For Me Is You - And I Mean That

    "You float like a feather, in a beautiful world. I wish I was special, you're so fuckin' special. "
    - Creep, Radiohead.

    "This is beautiful" I told myself. It was about seven in the morning, the rain was pouring down and I was at the old alleyway me and Frank always meet at before we head off for school. You may think thats kinda early, but it takes about an hour to get to school at our pace, and the world is so much more amazing when nobody else is around.
    As I said, the rain was pouring down like tiny little bulletshells on to unexpecting victims, so I was soaked through. Especially my hair, jet black and a bit dirty because I haven't washed it in a few days. So anyway, as I stood there, contemplating the weather and my skinnies getter tighter and wetter I mumbled to myself.

    "Where is he?"

    Almost as if planned,

    "Who?"

    He jumped on my back, the weight (as little as it was) making me fall over into a muddy puddle that had formed in the rain. It was silent for a moment. My back really hurt but I didn't care, I mean, Frank was on top of me for god'sake. But he looked really sorry, although he'd just shot me in the face.
    His features were really beautiful - his eyes were the same deep hazel-green colour as mine, only more vibrant. And they were big too. His skin was pale all over, except for his rosy cheeks. And his lips were pale pink, and slightly chapped. His peircings shone in the monochrome light.

    "You." I broke the silence.

    I was expecting him to give me his cheesy little grin and get off but he didn't. He just sat there on my lower chest, looking into my eyes, completely emotionless. I was numb from the cold, my hands especially.
    Frank sighed deeply, took both my hands and put them on his back and suddenly he leaned in and his lips were on mine. I was completely stunned, and confused. In fact, a whole lot of feelings were rushing through me, but the passion of his kiss sent me into temporary shock. I'm not saying that stopped me at all, I kissed him back like hell. I remember having fucking dreams like this. Sparks practically flew, and it seemed to last so long. It was almost like one of those soppy scenes in a movie were the hero kisses the heroine, except in my case, slightly different. It felt so right, even though it felt so wrong. You can't really explain it, but it's the best feeling in the world, I promise you that. As our lips parted I gasped for air, in between breaths I paniced "What about Mikey?"
    "Do you care?"
    Well...no, no."
    He smiled at that.
    "Niether do I"
     
  5. KilljoyKitten

    KilljoyKitten New Member

    Chapter 5 - Demolition Lovers

    "I want to love you but I better not touch, I want to hold you but my senses tell me to stop, I want to kiss you but I want it too much, I want to taste you but your lips are venomous poison"
    - Poison, Alice Cooper



    This is weird. Unreal. Anything but ordinary.

    But it kind of feels like it's meant to be. As if it....well, this is gonna sound soppy but, as if it has completed me. And as we walked to Gerard & Mikey's place, hand in hand, I was kinda freaked. I mean, I know I didn't care but...I cared. Does that make sense? Well, I knew even if Mikey tried to stab me I would still love his brother, and would rather be dead than lose him. But at the same time, I didn't want to lose one of my best friends. I could tell that Gerard was even more nervous than me too. Acceptable, I mean, I know that Mikey is not just his brother but his best friend. He has always gone to Mikey whenever theres a problem, even before me. It's not like he could go to his parents (God bless) or anything so it's simple really. But if he lost Mikey....I don't know. Anyway, it was obvious he was scared. I've known him for years, our pain is shared. My school tie had been tighted to the point where it was almost microscopic during our moment and I hadn't fixed it throughout the whole day. So I tugged on it with my free hand to distract myself from the fact we were outside the house. Thinking about it, we were actually pretty lucky Mikey didn't come to school today. And I was pretty lucky Gerard actually liked me, I can't even begin to imagine how fucking embarrassed I would be if he didn't. But it just felt, perfect. I didn't really do it on purpose. Suddenly the door to the close opened and someone else held the door open for us. Shit. Stupid bastard.

    "Thanks"

    We went in and up to the top floor (the only thing I didn't like about Gerard was that he lived on the top floor, thats like, ten flights of stairs!) and Gerard unlocked the door. I breathed in and we stepped inside.

    "He's not in"

    Aaannd I breathed out.

    "All that freaking out over nothin'?"

    Gerard laughed.

    "You know, it's not all bad. I mean...we got the place pretty much to ourselves now"

    "Pretty much?"

    "Noodle!"

    Noodle is their cat, Gerard's cat anyway, Mikey hates animals. He is kind of insane. (Noodle, not Mikey, well actually, both.)

    He winked at me.

    "But I don't think she'll mind anything..."

    I was getting really hot, and I don't mean warmth hot, so I raced towards him and flung off my tie as he did the same and suddenly we were making out on the windowsill in the hall. I had to stand on my tiptoes to reach him, but he noticed that and leaned down over me, which was actually a lot sexier. This was a different kind of love, more eros when before it was more likely a kind of phileo love but this was more..sexual. A rush of hands, lips and tongues were being tossed around the place. We both had out top half revealed but other than that we weren't very far, but there was a click and the door opened. We both froze in shock, eyes open but neither of us facing the door. The keys used to open the door dropped to the ground.

    "Jesus....Motherfucking Christ".

    So...at least it was definetally Mikey.
     
  6. MarieArt

    MarieArt Champion of Losers

    Please add a Main Characters list.

    x//o
     
  7. duddie

    duddie New Member

    this is awesome :3
    Even though, there is a problem..
    in chapter 2, everything is written twice :p
    but i love it, its so amaaazingh :3

    i dont get it.. why has no one commented on this story before me? o_O
     

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