Smile, Even If It Hurts

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction' started by gerardschick, Nov 18, 2010.

  1. gerardschick

    gerardschick New Member

    Title: Smile, Even If It Hurts

    Disclaimer: I do not own anything but the plot idea. All characters belong to themselves, as it should be. Please do not sue.

    Rating: Rated M (15+) for mature content just to be safe. There will be language and sexual content, just so you know.

    Main Characters: Gerard Way/ Lindsey Ballato (They are not married in this story, so she keeps her maiden name.)

    Genre: Romance/Angst

    Summary: This story tells of a variation (not true at all to my knowledge) of how Gerard and Lindsey got together. It talks of times when they met in 2002, but takes place when they met back up again in 2007. P.S. The places and dates I supply are probably all wrong, and I know that, so just go with it. I don’t think they have any significant purpose; I just came up with them at random. :) The story begins in the next post!

    Chapter Index:
    Chapter One-Page 1-2
    Chapter Two (Part 1)-Page 2
    Chapter Two (Part 2)-Page 2
    Chapter Three-Page 3
  2. gerardschick

    gerardschick New Member

    Chapter 1

    Gerard’s P.O.V.
    “Ok Gerard. You seriously need to get a girl! If we keep our little ‘on-stage charades’ up, these people are seriously going to think we are fucking each other.” Frank stated as he pulled his sweaty shirt over his head.

    I smiled at my good friend and band mate. He was right, of course. We really are putting off a bad image. Me and Frankie really aren’t gay. Frank has had a girlfriend, Jamia, since high school. I don’t have one, but I’m not gay. Me and Frank just enjoy egging the fans on with simple kissing, licking, and the occasional bump and grind. But, I don’t think he is right about me “needing to get a girl”. I’m just not ready for that. I may never be. After my ex-girlfriend, Eliza, cheated on me (almost literally), I had given up on love. And I’m ok with it. Loneliness is key to never getting my heart broken again. That’s my motto and I’m sticking to it.

    “Staring at my naked chest is not helping your sexuality, Gerard.”

    I jumped slightly, not realizing Frank was now standing in front of me. “Huh…wuh?”

    Frank looked at me concerned. “Are you ok? You look more tired than usual after a show.”

    And, since I didn’t want him to worry, I opted for a lie. “Yeah, I’m fine. Just thought too hard.”

    Frank laughed. “Yeah, must be hard with your brain!”

    “Shut up!” I yelled, making my brain surge with another headache forming. Truth is, I haven’t slept much since the ‘Eliza incident’ one month ago. And it’s been getting worse as time goes by. Last night I slept an hour and a half. And I can definitely feel it. But it doesn’t matter. When I sleep, I have nightmares of her. Of what I saw, what she did. And I want to forget. So, I won’t sleep unless absolutely necessary. But it has been getting harder to stay awake. At times I find myself dreaming without even knowing it. I once had a dream Eliza was fucking a green unicorn in a bathroom stall of a Wendy’s Fast Food Restaurant! I didn’t know what to do about it. But I wasn’t going to ask for help. I couldn’t. The band and my parents already worry about me enough, what with my drinking problems they are afraid I will get back with and the sheer fact of what Eliza did. If they knew I couldn’t sleep because of her, they would try to kill her and institutionalize me! And Mikey would probably shit a brick! Bless Mikey! He is the perfect brother. I just hate the thought of worrying him mor…

    “GERARD!!!!!!” Frank screamed, making me fly over the back of a nearby couch and scream, very unflatteringly, like a girl.

    “WHAT!? What happened?” I could feel the exhaustion peaking as my headache grew and grew.

    Frank looked like he was fuming. “Geez, Gerard! Stop zoning out to think and listen! We only have 30 more minutes until our next show! Let’s move!”

    I stared at him in shock. “Wait, what? What show are you talking about?”

    Frank stared at me, flabbergasted. “Are you serious? Gerard, what is wrong with you? You never forget a show. Like, ever! What’s going on?”

    Realization hit me, and I remembered that we were in the Projekt Revolution Tour, currently in Pensacola, Florida. And, that we were doing two shows today. One we just finished on the beach, the other is in 30 minutes at a small, quaint rock club a few miles away. Our opening band, Mindless Self Indulgence, should be about halfway through their set by now. I slowly started to panic. I knew I wouldn’t be able to do another show, not with the headache I had. But, if I just hold on through this last show, we will have two days off for me to sleep…and eat. I haven’t been doing a very good job of that either, because I have been so tired and nauseous lately.
    “Right. Brain-fart. Sorry…I’m ready.” I smiled re-assuring while my mind kept repeating ‘Oh shit!’


    So, 30 minutes and two cups of coffee later, I’m dressed and ready. My headache hasn’t gone away, but at least I could focus more. I could hear the members of Mindless Self Indulgence chatting with the road crew, and knew it was about time. The stage lights went off and we were ushered on stage. At first, everything went routine. We started with ‘Welcome to the Black Parade’ and melted into ‘Honey, This Mirror Isn’t Big Enough for the Two of Us’ without much trouble. Unfortunately, when we started with ‘Teenagers’ I could feel my body getting slug-like and my vision blurred so bad I could barely see. I felt myself stagger and I couldn’t remember anymore of the lyrics. My vision went black and I felt myself crash against something really hard and all of the music stopped suddenly. And that was it…


    So there is the first part. Let me know what you all think so I know whether I should continue or not. Thanks! Xoxo
  3. JillGeeRAWRd

    JillGeeRAWRd Member

    Awww! I like this!!!
    Did Gee like, pass out or something?
    More pweesh?
  4. Sade

    Sade Member

    Can't wait to see what you do with this. You've got me hooked. :D Poor Gee. Did he faint? D:
    More soon!
  5. gerardschick

    gerardschick New Member

    Thank you so much! And, yes, he did. I'll explain it all in the next post. I will post it soon, just haven't had time cause of the holidays!
  6. gerardschick

    gerardschick New Member

    So sorry that it took so long to update! Please enjoy!!!

    Lindsey’s P.O.V.

    It all went by in a blur. I remember shamelessly staring at Gerard’s ass. Being as we actually dated once before (we met back in 2002, but went our separate ways shortly after we started dating), I didn’t see a major problem with it. The show was great, even though Gerard didn’t seem to have as much energy as he did in ’02, but I figured maybe my imagination exaggerated a bit. I mean, this is the first time I actually got a chance to see him perform live in five years! I knew he would change. But, I knew something was wrong the first time he staggered across the stage. He seemed to have trouble focusing on anything, almost as if he was drunk. And, if he hadn’t have quite a couple years ago (or so I’ve heard), I would have believed he was. But then, he stopped singing all together and looked around like he didn’t know where he was. And, when his body made contact with the stage, I screamed in terror as everyone panicked and rushed past me to help him. The whole band stopped playing and the crowd started freaking out. But I couldn’t do anything but stare in horror. It wasn’t till I felt someone shaking me that I realized that my band mate, Steve, was still standing next to me.

    “HEY! Lindsey, they are going to take him to a nearby hospital. We’re going to go ahead and let the doctor’s know. Are you coming?”

    I didn’t even hesitate. “Of course!”


    It took four hours for the doctors to finally come out of Gerard’s room and tell us what was going on. And when I say ‘us’ I mostly mean ‘them’. Gerard’s brother and fellow band mates. But I didn’t care about semantics right now.

    “Gerard is going to be fine. He is suffering from a severe lack of sleep and minor malnutrition. But, we have him on a slight sedative and an IV tube is feeding him some nutrients that he is lacking. You all may see him one at a time, but please be quiet so he can sleep. And…uh…who is Mikey Way?”

    I watched Mikey jerk his head away from Gerard’s door to stare at the doctor in concern. “I am. What’s wrong?”

    “Um, nothing. I just need to talk to you about insurance stuff when you are ready.”

    Mikey nodded silently as the doctor walked away. Then, Mikey got up and silently walked in Gerard’s room and shut the door. Everyone started to talk quietly to each other. I just sat down and didn’t talk at all. I decided to lose myself in my thoughts. I started remembering the first day I met Gerard…

    *June 22, 2002-Belleview, New Jersey*​

    The first time I saw him, I was in awe at his eyes. They were, and still are, his best feature on his body. I noticed how they told the story of his life with one glance. And, when he looked at me with those hazel orbs, I remember I couldn’t speak. I just stared at him gap-mouthed like an idiot. I swear he probably thought I was retarded. But I, thankfully, melted when he chuckled at me.

    “Haha! You look like a Venus Fly-Trap ready to strike. It’s cute.”

    I blushed candy-apple red. “Uh, yeah sorry. I was…um…staring.”

    “I know.” His smile grew as I faded to a darker shade of red. “Are you here to play or watch?”

    I jerked my head up in shock. “WHAT?!”

    He laughed even louder, and he started to blush as well. ‘God he looks really pretty when he blushes.’ “I mean are you here to play music. Nothing sexual, I swear. I’m not a pervert.”

    “Oh.” I smiled at him to keep my disappointment to a minimum. I wasn’t a wh**e, but he looked so damn good. And, because he obviously was here in a band, I expected him to be open to sex with strangers like all the other ‘rockers’ I met. “I’m in a band. I play bass. What about you?”

    “I’m in a band too! I sing.”

    ‘THANK GOD!’ I thought. I just couldn’t see him with a guitar or drums. He just seemed like a microphone guy. The attention grabber, although he was much shyer than most. I like that…A LOT! We sat around talking for almost an hour until his band (who was opening for mine) had to get on. Which meant I had to get ready. We exchanged phone numbers and a quick (but amazing) hug and then parted ways…


    I didn’t realize I had been asleep until Jimmy (my band’s lead singer) woke me, telling me Gerard’s room was ‘free’ so I could see him. I smiled and headed towards his door. I realized, when I tried to open the door, that my hands were trembling. This is one of the first times in five years that I would be in an enclosed area with a dude I had a major secret-crush on since I first met him, and he wasn’t even conscious! But, he was still beautiful, I thought as my eyes landed on his naturally pale face. His jet black hair fell loosely around his face, slightly covering his closed eyes. He was breathing slow and deep. He really looked peaceful, which was sad because he was being forced to sleep. I sat down next to him and watched him sleep for a long time, just taking in his beauty. At first, I didn’t even notice him starting to wake up. He made a slight groaning noise and I jumped up and started to panic.

    “OH SHIT! I’m so sorry! Did I wake you?!? I did, didn’t I? FUCK…”

    Gerard grabbed my wrist, his eyes like saucers. “NO! No, you didn’t! I hear waking up to pee is normal!”

    I stared at him dumbly, mouth slightly open in a dumb-looking expression. “…huh?”

    He smiled at me kind of weakly, even though his eyes had an amazingly bright spark. “I have to pee…bad.”

    “Oh!” I unfroze and helped him to the bathroom, waited patiently till he was done, and helped him back to bed. Once he was settled, I started to head to the door.

    “Where are you going?”

    I looked at him, losing myself in his ’puppy-dog’ gaze. “To get a doctor.”

    He smiled, “But I’m fine. Sit down and talk to me.” He patted at the chair next to him.

    I did as he said, suddenly getting very quiet. We stared at each other for a while in an awkward silence. I could feel my face getting hot from embarrassment as he chuckled at me. “Why are you laughing at me?”

    He composed himself (barely) and smiled. “I just figured it was weird that we dated each other before, ended the relationship in a friendly manner, and we still have to suffer with awkward silences.”

    I started to laugh too. “That is soooo true! Hey, I didn’t think you even remembered me, much less that we dated. Why didn’t you say anything?”

    His eyes suddenly found so much interest in his hands as he blushed furiously. “I figured it would make you and your boyfriend uncomfortable if I mentioned it.”

    I looked at him, puzzled. “Uh…I don’t have a boyfriend.”

    “Well, what about that dude with the black hair and beard? What’s his name…Steve?”

    I couldn’t help it. I laughed so hard my sides hurt. When I could finally breathe again, I looked at him. His shy expression was actually heart breaking, even more-so because he wouldn’t look at me. I think I really upset him. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you. It’s just the thought of ever, EVER dating Steve makes me laugh/want to hurl. He’s like my brother. Please don’t be mad at me.”

    He turned to look at me, his face softening. “I’m not mad, just embarrassed. You guys were so comfortable together, I guess I just figured…”


    We jerked our heads to see Mikey look like he was going to give birth to a cow and like he just won a trip to Disney World at the same time. “You’re awake! Why didn’t you say anything?!”

    Gerard smiled at Mikey. “Cause I wanted to breathe in peace before you have a major freak-out at me. I’m sorry if I scared you.”

    “You had better be!” Mikey snapped at Gerard, making him flinch. Mikey must have seen it too, because he calmed down instantly. “I’m sorry for snapping at you, Gerard. You just scared the hell out of me.”

    “I’m sorry.”

    I decided it was time to say something. “Um…should I leave, or…”

    “NO!” I jumped at Gerard’s outburst. “Uh…I…I mean, please. If you leave, Mikey will have full rein to cuss me out and I’m not ready for that…yet.”

    Mikey scrunched his face at Gerard. “What the hell, Gerard! I should yell at you! This is your own damn fault after all!”

    I watched Gerard shrink further into the bed sheets as he cringed from Mikey’s tone. It broke my heart to see him so…fragile. I started to believe it was because of something more than Mikey’s bitchy attitude. I decided to not ask. “Um, could you possibly cut him some slack? Who gives a fuck whose fault it is, but that he is ok. So stop yelling at him! Your scaring him…”

    “No, I’m ok.”

    “Shut up! I’m on a roll! God!”

    “I’m sorry.” Gerard mumbled in a tired expression. I decided to go find a doctor whether he wanted one or not. Besides, it would give me a chance to get away from the awkwardness that had formed around the Way brothers. Leaving Gerard with a sad, sleepy expression and Mikey with a pissed off, concerned one, I went on my search for Gerard’s doctor.


    Well, there is the next part! I hope you all enjoyed it and again, I'm sorry for the long wait. The holidays were insane. Anyway, let me know what you think!!!
  7. Sade

    Sade Member

    Ahaha I'm glad Gee is okay. XD Poor Lindsey I'd be like "Awkwaaaard." When Mikey was yelling at Gee.
    Update soon!
  8. gerardschick

    gerardschick New Member

    So I'm still working on the next update, but I did post a oneshot if you all want to go read that. It is in the oneshot section and is called The Grand Quest. It is about Gerard, Frank, and the quest for coffee! Pretty funny. Anyway, I will post more on this as soon as I can!

  9. PartyPoison

    PartyPoison New Member

    Loved reading it, thank you.
    Can't wait for the next update!
  10. gerardschick

    gerardschick New Member

    Thank you for your sweet reviews! So sorry I keep taking so long! Enjoy! ;)

    Gerard’s P.O.V.

    After Lindsey left, much to my utter disappointment because I really liked her and had a major crush on her, it was like my focus faded more and more as Mikey droned on and on about a topic I couldn’t remember.

    “…and stuff like that! …GERARD!”

    I jumped painfully at Mikey’s outburst. “What! Uh…three…wait. What were you saying?”

    Mikey sighed at me. “Just…get some sleep, ok? Get to feeling better and I’ll talk to you soon. And fill out your insurance paperwork, I guess.”

    I smiled sheepishly, relieved to get some more sleep. “Thanks Mikey. Goodnight.” And I was asleep before he even opened the door to leave.


    I had to stay in the hospital for one more day, because Mikey was paranoid, but was allowed to go home early the next day. We also had to postpone a few tour dates, but we only had two scheduled for the next week, so it wasn’t so bad. Today I was sitting on the couch watching my dad and Mikey try (unsuccessfully) to set up their new TV. I was so relaxed that the door bell scared me a little. I could hear my mom answer the door, but fell asleep before I ever knew who was at the door.


    Lindsey’s P.O.V.

    ‘This is the dumbest idea you have ever had, Lindsey! I’m pretty sure he isn’t gonna care if you come by to see him today. Just because he was nice to you in the hospital doesn’t mean he will be now. He was doped up on meds for crying out loud! He could have held up a valid conversation with a brick wall and it would have made sense!’

    Despite my inner thoughts, I still rang the door bell and waited for a response. I hoped I had the right house, because I was only going by Frank’s suck-ish directions. I grew stiff as a board when I heard the door open.

    A sweet-looking woman with Gerard’s eyes smiled at me as she opened the door wider. “Hello there.” She smiled wider at me, almost reminding me of Mikey.

    I returned her smile, feeling extremely uncomfortable even though I now knew I had the right house. “Um…hello. I’m…is Gerard here?”

    Her smile faltered at the mention of her son’s name, obviously that she was studying me to assess the threat I pose to Gerard. “Yes, he is. Why do you want to see him?”

    “Well, I was kind of there when he…you know…was taken to the hospital. I wanted to know if he was doing better.”

    She studied me some more, but seemed to soften up some. “What’s your name? How do you know him?”

    I looked at her curiously, wondering why she was so nosey. All I want to do is talk to him. Damn! “Um, my name is Lindsey Ballato, and my band opens up for his during the Projekt Revolution Tour.”

    She squinted at me. “Are you trying to fuck him?”

    I didn’t think my jaw could get any lower to the ground than where it was at. “I…uh…what?”

    “Are you trying to get in my son’s pants?”

    “NO! I just want to know if he is okay! I’m not going to fuck him when he is sick, and definitely not in front of his mother!” Right there and then I could tell I had said something wrong. Her face showed no emotion and she started to clench her fists together.

    At that moment, thankfully, Mikey walked up. “Mom, are you ok? Lindsey, why are you here?”

    Before I could answer, his mother blew up. “This bitch wants to fuck Gerard!”

    Mikey smiled. “That’s good! And…?”


    “Stop yelling at me and lying.”

    “I’m not lying!”

    “Yes, you are!”

    “NO, I’M NOT!”


    “BOTH OF YOU STOP YELLING! DAMN!” Mikey screamed, instantly shutting us both up. “Mom, I’m sure Lindsey has enough tact to have sex with Gerard somewhere else. And if she doesn’t, Gerard does. And I doubt she will do it while he is asleep in there, which he is, because it won’t be that much fun.”

    We both stared at Mikey, speechless. “How would you kno…you know what, never mind. I don’t want to know.” I said as I tried to get my red face back to normal color.

    His mother nodded silently, blinked a few times, and then shuddered, probably at the thought of her son in a sexual state. She looked at me, probably to cuss me out more, but never got a chance because Gerard started to walk/stumble towards us.

    “Hey, mom…did someone die? You guys were yelling so loud…oh, hi Lindsey.” He smiled at me, looking a little bit healthier that he was in the hospital.

    “Hi Gerard, sorry if I woke you.”

    He shrugged. “Nah, it’s cool. If I sleep too much, I might like it a lot and never wake up.”

    Unanimously, all three of us slapped him playfully on his arms/chest while screaming, “That’s not funny, Gerard!!”

    He smiled, and then we all stood in an awkward silence. He looked at me with a wicked smile as he said, “Wow, I really hate awkward silences.”

    I burst into laughter as Gerard chuckled and the other two stared at us curiously because they didn’t get our inside joke. He then grabbed my hand and drew me inside the house despite his mother’s protests. “Hush, mom! She ain’t staying outside and I’m not going to stand that long. So, she is coming in!”

    Without any complaint, I let him drag me to a couch in their living room, which had blankets and pillows on it and random pieces of an old TV set around it. His mom saw this and went nuts.

    “DONALD!!!! What the hell did you do to the TV? Where are you?” She stormed off to find her husband as Mikey trailed behind her in fear.

    That left me and Gerard alone, still holding hands, on a couch in his parents’ house. And the awkwardness returned, but not as intense. I decided to be the one to break it this time. “So…uh…are you feeling better?”

    He smiled at me as he squeezed my hand. “Much better, thanks.” He then released my hand, suddenly looking uncomfortable, and stood up. “Are you hungry? Thirsty? I am, and I wanted to know if you are. You know, so I won’t seem rude. NOT that that is the only reason I asked, but…” He flushed red as he turned and walked away.

    I quickly followed, having a hard time keeping up. “Wuh…wait! What’s the matter?” I found him pulling out random items (pickles, cheese, butter, chocolate sauce, ketchup, etc.) from the fridge. I managed to stop him from reaching for the mustard and the sour cream, and made him look at me. His eyes were getting glassy, and I thought I had upset him. “What did I say?”

    He shook his head, trying to avoid letting his emotions loose. I grabbed his face, forcing him to look in my eyes. “Gerard, it is ok. You can tell me.”

    Tears started to escape his eyes as he spoke. “It’s just…I like you so much but I can’t go there ever again.” He then quickly left the room, leaving me in shock for a minute.

    ‘HE LIKES ME!!!! FUCK YES!!!!’ I then composed myself and followed the sound of his gentle sobs. I ended up going down a set of stairs to the basement, which I now realized was where his bedroom was located. I found him curled up on his bed with his face planted in his pillow. His body shook from the force of his tears. ‘Yep, definitely not something I said.’ I sat on the edge of the bed and started rubbing his back in comfort.

    Finally, his sobs turned into little gasps and he rolled over to face me, his face and eyes were red and slightly puffy. I smiled at him and semi-blushed as I realized my hand was now on his stomach instead of his back. But, there was no way I was going to remove it now. So, I pretended like I didn’t notice and focused on him. “So, are you going to tell me what is up or do I have to tickle it out of you?” I smiled playfully as I placed my other hand on his stomach and poised for attack.

    He laughed at me and started to loosen up. “It’s…it’s not you, I promise.”

    I grinned at him. “Oh no. This isn’t one of those ‘it’s not you, it’s me’ things, is it?”

    He laughed again. “Yeah, kind of. Is that bad?”

    I smiled. “No, just cheesy. But I guess I will let you get away with it this time.”

    “Oh good. I was afraid this relationship was over before it even began.”

    I blushed at his use of the word ‘relationship’. “What makes you think there is a relationship forming between us?”

    He blushed too, looking very shyly at my hands. “Because we had a good relationship once before, or so I thought, and it ended good in my opinion, so…”

    “I thought it was good too, just so you know.”

    He smiled deeper and gently intertwined one of his hands with one of mine. I could feel a slight tingle when he touched me, one I used to get all the time when we dated before. It was the one thing I like most about him. He made me tremble with just one touch, getting lost in the moment. I didn’t even realize I was leaning into him, getting so close I could feel his breath on my face.


    So, I will post some more soon. I'm at school now, and have to go to class now. But I will post more soon. And, as always, let me know what you think! Xoxo
  11. Sade

    Sade Member

    Wow, his mom is kind of a bitch. I mean WTF? D:< I love this story!
    Update soon! :D
  12. gerardschick

    gerardschick New Member

    Just to mention, Gerard and Mikey's mom is not ment to be portrayed as a bitch in this story. She is just an overly protective, loving mom who doesn't want Gerard to get hurt again after what Eliza did. Which is understandable...
  13. Sade

    Sade Member

    :/ Yeah it's understandable. Just the way she came at Lindsey was a little harsh.
  14. gerardschick

    gerardschick New Member

    So, sorry for the long wait, but here is the next update! Enjoy! Xoxo


    Realization of what was about to happen must have hit him because he tensed up and gently pushed me back a little. I looked at him confused and slightly hurt. That is till he smiled at me and squeezed my hand. “Please don’t be mad. It’s really not you. It’s just…I kind of just got out of a bad…really bad relationship and I don’t want to rush into another one. Is that okay?”

    I could not help but stare at his cute, shy face. “Yes, it is okay. But…you have to tell me what happened with the other girl, or boy, I don’t judge, so I know what not to do.”

    He laughed at my gay comment, but still looked very uncomfortable. “It was a girl, her name was Eliza. We dated for like three years (again, I didn’t check so it might not be accurate), and we were almost going to get married. Then, I walked in on her one night fucking one of the members of my band’s road crew. And that pretty much ended the relationship.”

    I just couldn’t help but feel sorry for him. It was even more horrible because of the cold and disconnected way that he retold the bad memory, not even looking in my eyes once. “Damn, what a bitch…can I call her that?”

    He smiled at me. “Go ahead. My mother has already called her much worse.”

    “I’ll bet. She can be very intimidating, you know that?”

    He laughed, “Not really. She will warm up to you. She just doesn’t want me to get hurt again.”

    “I don’t blame her. Speaking of…where is she? I figured she would have me hanged just for holding your hand.” We both blushed again and looked down at our joined hands.

    “Haha, I think she is just trying to help my dad and Mikey get the new TV set up. They aren’t too good at it, so it is always a big disaster.”

    At that, we heard a loud crash and his mother scream. “Why the fuck do you keep throwing shit all over my house? AND WHO PUT THESE SANDWICH CONDIMENTS HERE!?!”

    Gerard flinched. “Shit! I forgot about those. I better put them up.”

    He moved some in the attempt to get up, but I wouldn’t let him move. I arranged myself so that I was straddling his lap. I placed my hands on his shoulders, gently pushing him down on the bed. He quietly watched me with doe eyes. I lowered my lips to his neck, gently running my tongue along his creamy, white skin. I then started lightly kissing his jaw-line, making him sigh and relax into my touch. He slowly placed his hands on my hips, almost hesitantly, but never pushed me away or drew me closer. He just stayed in that position, quietly enjoying what I was doing to his neck. I then moved my lips so that they rested right above his. I waited patiently until he opened his eyes to look at me confused. I looked into his eyes for any sign of disapproval. Seeing none, I pressed our lips together, a shock shooting straight through my body from the contact. I watched his eyes close again as his hands moved from my hips to my sides. I slowly ran my tongue over his lower lip, waiting for him to allow me permission to enter. He parted his lips just barely, and I took it as enough of an acceptance. I slid my tongue into his mouth, shivering from the amount of pleasure I got from such a simple act. He took a second, and then joined in on the kiss, running his tongue over every crevice in my mouth, exploring every inch.

    He balled a fist into my hair, deepening the kiss, as he used his other hand to push me further against him. I groaned at the close contact, feeling his excitement building beneath me. He quickly flipped us over so that he was above me. And then, he broke the kiss and pressed our foreheads together, both of us breathing heavily. He sweetly kissed my cheek, and then he got off of me and walked towards the doorway. He turned to look at me with a sweet, sexy grin and blew me a kiss. Then, he disappeared to the other side of the door, leaving me utterly speechless.


    *Gerard’s P.O.V.*
    I know there is no way to hide my cheeky grin, so I just hoped I wouldn’t run into anyone while on my quest to put all of the sandwich materials back where they belong. Unfortunately, I was not so lucky. My father was walking down the hallway in nothing but the leopard print thong Mom got him from Victoria’s Secret last Christmas.

    “Oh God…hi dad.” I say, avoiding eye contact.

    “Hello son. Where are you heading?” he asks, no hint of awkward in his voice or face.

    “Um…I’m a…heading to put the sandwich stuff up…”

    “I see, you must have been pretty hungry.”

    “No Dad, it wasn’t like that…”

    “Oh! The little lady must have been hungry. Wow, she sure can put it away.”

    “No Dad, I was just nervous…”

    My dad chuckled and patted me on my back. “You always did get nervous around the females. Why I remember the time you brought your first girlfriend home. Oh, what was her name?”

    “Lucy.” I say reluctantly.

    “Lucy! That’s right! You were so nervous that, when you went to give her a glass of tea, you spilled it all over her pretty dress!” I shift my weight from foot to foot awkwardly. “Ha! And remember when you tried to kiss her?!”

    “Yes, Dad…I remember. Thank you. I really should go put up that…”

    He interrupted me, foiling my plan to escape. “You went to kiss her and ended up lip-locking the couch because she ducked.”

    “Yep…thanks for the reminder Dad. I should go now.”

    “That’s right, don’t wanna keep you from that pretty girl. C’mon, gimme a hug.”

    “Um, Dad, I don’t feel comfortable…” He pulled me into a tight bear hug. So I was stuck in a small hallway hugging my mostly naked father…great. ‘I wonder how many pickles I can swallow before I choke and die…’ To make things even worse, Lindsey decided to follow me into the hallway and got a full view of my awkward situation.

    “AHA! And there is the pretty little thing now. C’mon sweety, don’t be shy. Join our hug…”

    “NO!!!!” I screamed ripping myself out of my dad’s arms and into
    Lindsey’s. “God, Dad! I thought I burned that thing months ago!”

    “No, you burned your mother’s.”

    My eye twitched. “You mean…you both have one…?”

    “Well, we did. You burned one of them.”

    “But still Dad, that is just wrong!”

    Lindsey looked at me. “So what, are you saying that older people should not have sex?”

    My dad frowned at the ‘old’ comment as I wrinkled my nose. “No, I’m saying my parents should not be all kinky and freaky in front of their 30 year old, emotionally scarred son. It is just wrong!”

    My dad pouted, looking hurt, as he stalked off to do whatever. I stared into Lindsey’s eyes, feeling my stomach flip over, and over, and over…until she broke my mental stupidity. “So…sandwich stuff?”

    “Oh yeah! Thanks for reminding me! I think the image of my dad n…uh…hardly dressed fucked with my brain.” I blushed profusely and stalked off to the kitchen, head bowed at my stupidity and awkwardness around girls. I started placing the food back in the fridge when I felt Lindsey’s arms wrap around my body. I automatically relaxed into her touch. I couldn’t figure out how I could be so comfortable around someone I had barely talked to in five years. And, unfortunately, all this ‘brain-work’ made my head hurt viciously. I could tell that my body was begging me for more sleep, and it wasn’t going to give me a chance to ignore it. I decided to accept it and ask something that was nagging at me and scarring the hell out of me at the same time.

    “Um…Lindsey? Can I ask for a favor?” I turn to look at her, making sure her arms remained around my body.

    She smiled at me with her beautiful, breathtaking smile, and pecked a kiss on my nose. “Of course! Anything for you.”

    I blushed. “C…Can you stay with me tonight…and just hold me like you are now? You don’t have to…you know…if you don’t want to. I mean…”

    I stopped blabbing when her lips pressed against mine. “Of course I will stay with you.” She smiled at me and started dragging me back to my room. Once we were inside, she closed the door and gave me a sheepish grin. “Now, can I ask you for a favor? Can I borrow some of your clothes that are a little more comfortable to sleep in?”

    I blushed even deeper. I could see why she was asking. She had on some VERY form-fitting jeans with ankle high boots on, a yellow Super Mario Bros. t-shirt and a jean jacket. Plus she had an overload of bangle bracelets on both arms, gently caressing her tattooed skin as she moved. I mentally shook my head as I stuttered something I didn’t even understand and stumbled over to my dresser in the corner of my room.

    After a lot of mindless fumbling, I found a pair of sleep pants that was covered with Tweety Bird designs and “Tweet Angel” writing everywhere. (Thank you, Grandma! You know me so well! NOT!) She grinned at me as I handed them to her, along with my Madonna t-shirt that I was now ashamed to say I bought myself. ‘Shit! Fuck! Dammit! Now she probably thinks I’m some weird, gay fuck! Thanks a lot, Gerard!’ I winced slightly as my thoughts caused the upbringing of ANOTHER headache. I turned around so she could change, leaning heavily on my dresser as I tried to tell my painful thoughts to fuck off.

    After a few minutes, I felt Lindsey’s hands grab my arm and start to drag me to my bed. “Damn, Gerard! You look exhausted.” She helped me get settled under my sheets as she turned off my lights and laid down beside me. I turned to my side so that I could stare into her eyes. I decided to accept her possible rejection and inched my body towards her until we were pressed intimately together. She wrapped her arms around my waist and pressed my head against her shoulder. I breathed in her sweet scent, enjoying the smell of pomegranates and oranges as I sank into a sweet peaceful slumber…


    So, there you go! I hope you liked it, cause I actually did! Haha, anyway I will try to update soon, but with school and work, I won't make any promises. Lots of love,
  15. kadoodle

    kadoodle crazy cat lady Staff Member

    New reader - I'm hooked. This is great!
  16. MyStarsShineDarkly

    MyStarsShineDarkly New Member

    New reader, and I love this story, please write more 8D
  17. gerardschick

    gerardschick New Member

    Welcome new readers! And thanks for all the great comments! I will post more very very soon, promise! Just got wireless high speed internet at my house, so now I don't have to go to the local Wendy's to do all of my updating! Yayness!! Anyway, more soon!

  18. gerardschick

    gerardschick New Member

    Holy hell! It's been a loooonnnggg time since I've posted last. I feel so ashamed! I hope I haven't lost you all! I've wrote loads for the story, but I haven't typed/posted it yet. But I will, very soon! To prove so, here is a new update. This is the idea that actually brought me to write this story. I wanted to have Gerard and Lindsey have their first date at the fair. And this is how I imagined it. Enjoy!

    Chapter 2: The Date Part One-The Fair

    Gerard’s P.O.V.

    “I absolutely promise you, Mikey, I am well enough to get back to work. We have a show tomorrow that we absolutely cannot cancel. We already cancelled enough because of me. I’m not even worth it…”

    All of a sudden, Frank blew up. “What the fuck, Gerard! Who gives a shit if you can stand and sing at the same time! Tell us about this Lindsey girl! Have you been on a date? Have you kissed her? Have you fucked her?”

    Mikey fumed at Frank’s lack of interest in my health while I freaked at his total interest in my love life. “Uh…Frank…I’m so not answering those questions. And thanks for wishing me well. It means a lot, really.” I rolled my eyes as I tried to calm Mikey down. “Chill Mikes, you can fry an egg on your head.” He huffed a little, then stalked out of the band bus’ ‘bedroom’, probably to get more coffee.

    I turned around only to jump slightly as Frank totally stepped into my personal bubble and pressed his nose to mine. “Tell. Me. Tellmetellmetellmetellme! Don’t make me tickle your sexy ass…don’t make me rape your sexy ass. You know you can’t resist.” He wriggled his eyebrows at me as I laughed uncontrollably.

    “Now who’s sexuality is in question?”

    Frank pouted. “Aw, come on! I wanna know!”

    I sighed. “Fine, yes…and no. I kissed her, in 2002 and…recently, and no we haven’t been on a date yet due to my obvious health issues that you care nothing about. And if ‘fucking’ refers to any form of sensual sex at all, then no.”

    Frank frowned. “Damn, Gerard. You are so boring. At least take her on a date.”

    “Take who on a date?” I froze at the sound of Lindsey’s bubbly, energetic voice that made butterflies flutter in my stomach.

    “Hi Lindsey! I was just telling Gerard that he should take his sex partner on a date. Well, I’m off to see my sex partner. Love ya’ll!” He smiled at me sweetly as he practically skipped out of the ‘bedroom’ leaving me and Lindsey alone, and feeling awkward.

    “I…uh…I don’t have a sex partner…I mean…he was referring to you…oh shit! Not that you and I are actually sleeping together…I mean…fuck!” I sighed and started pounding my head against the closest wall. Only a few seconds passed before I once again felt Lindsey’s arms wrap around my waist.

    “Please, Gerard. Stop banging your beautiful face against the wall.” She pulled me out of range of the wall and wrapped her arms around my neck and kissed me deeply. “So, anyway. Since we were sort of, kind of on the subject of ‘dates’, there is a fair in town. It’s been a LONG time since I’ve been to the fair and I was wondering if you would, you know…wink wink, nudge nudge…”

    I ‘bunny-faced’ at her. “Wink wink, nudge nudge? I don’t get it. Am I supposed to wink at you and push you lightly at the same time? And what does this have to do with going to the fair…oh.” I sighed again. ‘You are one stupid fucker, Gerard.’ At that inside thought, I proceeded to bang my head against the wall again.

    And, once again, Lindsey yanked me out of range. “Stop hurting yourself! Do you want to go to the fair with me or not?”

    I smiled at her sheepishly as I allowed her arms to return to their former resting place around my neck. “I would love to go to the fair with you. Besides, I’ve never been to the fair before, so this should be fun.”

    I stiffened as Lindsey’s face turned to stone. “You’ve. Never. Been. To. The. Fair? Seriously?” I barely twitched a nod before Lindsey freaked. “What the hell is wrong with you, man!?! Now there is no way you are backing out. We are going to the fair, tonight!” And, with that being said, she dragged me out of the band bus as she started spitting off all the things I’ve missed by not going to the fair.

    *At the fair*

    Lindsey’s P.O.V.

    “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me, Lindsey! There is absolutely no way on God’s green Earth that I’m getting on that huge, scary, spinning death trap!”

    I rolled my eyes as I watched Gerard wrap himself further around one of the support beams of a nearby children’s rollercoaster ride. “Gerard, it is just a Ferris Wheel. It’s fun.”

    “Nu-uh! It’s evil! And high up! I’m not riding it!”

    “Uh…yes you are. I don’t care if you pee your pants! You wanted the whole ‘fair experience’, you’re going to get it!”

    “Lindsey, you wanted me to have the whole ‘fair experience’. I just wanted some cotton candy.”

    I grabbed him by his shirt collar and tugged him away from the beam. “Be that as it may, you’re still getting on it.” Despite his constant complaints, I managed to get his tush on the seat long enough for the ride attendant to lock the safety bar in place in front of us. “Ha! Now you have to ride!”

    I laughed as Gerard groaned and tried his best to merge his body with the seat. He then screamed like a girl and clung to me as we started to move. “Oh God! Lindsey, I have got to get off this thing! Oh please, I hate heights! I can’t even look out a window on an airplane or a very high up building. Oh God! Oh God! OH GOD!”

    I laughed even harder as his voice went up an octave and he buried his face in my hair. “Chill, Gerard. Jesus, what’s the worst that could happen?” At that moment, the Ferris Wheel made a sickening jerk and stopped completely, leaving us stuck at the very, very top. Gerard, now almost completely sitting in my lap, started hyper-ventilating. “Uh, it’s okay Gerard. I’m sure it’s not as bad as it looks. Just don’t think about it. Here, look at me.” I lifted his chin until his eyes met mine. We stared at each other for a long time without saying anything.

    Then, of course, the operator of the ride started panicking because he couldn’t get the machine to reset, making Gerard whimper and vice-grip my hand. “Hey, asshole!” I all but screamed at the guy. “Stop crying about how much of a loser you are and fix this damn thing!” I turned my attention back to Gerard and gave him the sweetest smile I had. “Like I said, everything is going to be fine.”

    He gave me a look of serious doubt, but loosened his grip on my hand, so that we were simply holding hands. “I…If you say so. But I won’t believe it until I am kissing the ground.” He pouted slightly, making me laugh at his cute, ever-so-sexy face.

    “Hey, did you know how very romantic it is to kiss at the top of a Ferris Wheel?”

    He looked at me quizzically. “Um…no. It doesn’t feel cute and romantic up here. Just scary and coffin-inducing.”

    I inched my face very close to his and smiled my most seductive smile. “Well, let me prove it to you.” I leaned in and pecked his lips and nuzzled our noses together. He laughed briefly and seemed to relax a lot. This time, he leaned into me and kissed me sweetly for a long time. The gentle kisses turned into a very hot make-out session that would make me buy a journal just so I could write about it.

    “Uh…do you think you could stop your tongue battle long enough to get off my ride?”

    We broke apart and looked around in surprise. Apparently, while we were lost in each other’s mouth, the man fixed the ride and moved it until our seat was level with the ground. Without hesitation, Gerard grabbed my wrist and tore ass clear away from the ride. “Oh thank you God! I love the ground!”

    I kept him from kissing the ground by kissing me instead. “So, I guess you think our first date really sucked, huh?”

    He smiled and looked me directly in the eyes. “Nowhere I go and nothing I do can come close to sucking if you are with me. Even if I freak out like a little girl because I think we’re gonna die.” He kissed my forehead and pulled me towards the exit of the fair.

    “You wanna leave?”

    “Fuck yes! One ride almost killed us, so I’m not taking my chances.” I laughed as he dragged us to our car.

    So here is part one of the date. Like I said before, I really wanted them to have the cute kiss on top of a Ferris Wheel cause I think it's totally romantic. And, by the way, I know it seems I made Gerard a total whimp, but I just wanted the story to seem perfect. It's not perfect if someone doesn't get scared when a Ferris Wheel breaks and you're on it. Gerard just seemed to be the best one to give this fear to since he has never been on one before (in the story). Anyway, part 2 will come shortly, hopefully, and I hope to get many comments on your thoughts of part 1. Thanks for sticking around and being patient with my slow, procrastinating ass. I love you! Xo
  19. MyStarsShineDarkly

    MyStarsShineDarkly New Member

    Glad you updated! Really good chapter, I loved Gerard's reaction to the ride, can't wait for more<3
  20. gerardschick

    gerardschick New Member

    Ok, so here is the second part of the date. Because what you've already read just isn't enough. Hope you like it! XO


    Chapter 2: The Date Part Two-A Midnight Boat Ride

    We ended up back on his band bus and spent our time snuggled up to each other watching Ray and Bob battle each other in Donkey Konga as Mikey and Frank did their best to distract them. I started nuzzling my nose into Gerard’s hair and I kissed his cheek. When he sighed contently, I moved my lips to his neck and ran my tongue along its length, smiling slightly as he shivered at my touch.

    “Get a room!” I heard Frank say right before I heard a pillow collide with his face. “OW! What was that for, Bob?”

    “For budding into Gerard’s chances of FINALLY getting laid and possibly his rise from loser-dom. And for poking me incessantly. Leave me alone!”

    “Hey!” Gerard retorted as both he and I blushed profusely.

    “Please don’t mention sex and my brother in the same sentence. Thank you!” Mikey scrunched his face in disgust and then turned his full attention back to blocking Ray’s view of the TV screen.

    I smiled as I nuzzled my face back into the crook of Gerard’s neck. “Do you wanna go somewhere…private?”

    He smiled his beautiful smile. “Mmm hmm.” I grabbed his hand and pulled him off the couch and led him out of the living room of the bus and into the warm July night. “Wow! I cannot believe they didn’t notice us leaving.” He said while looking behind him, hoping he wouldn’t be proven wrong.

    I smiled and continued to tug him with me in the direction of the large lake located in the park across the street. He looked at me quizzically. “Why are we going here?”

    I stopped in front of the little building next to the lake that you can rent boats from. “Because. What better way to be alone than in a tiny boat in the middle of a large lake surrounded by trees?”

    He looked at me as if he wasn’t too keen on the idea, but agreed anyway. After he paid, he helped me drag our boat to the water. I got in and watched him push the boat into the water and almost fall into the water. I laughed as he finally got settled and grabbed the oars to get us further downstream. “Do you even know how to work those things?”

    He smiled sheepishly at me and blushed. “Well…no. But it can’t be that hard, right?”

    I laughed and stood to help him out. Unfortunately, I was too far to the right side of the boat and I made it flip over, thrusting us both into the icy cold water. I surfaced, splashing around until I got a hold of the boat to stay above water. “Gerard?” I looked around frantically but didn’t see him anywhere. Suddenly, I was thrown backwards into the water as the boat was flipped right side up and Gerard popped his head out of the water, gasping for air.

    “Son of a bitch! This water is freezing!” He pulled himself back into the boat and carefully helped me in as well. Once we were safely back in the boat, he tenderly made his way to me without tipping the boat again. “Well, that was enough adventure for a lifetime.”

    I smiled as he snuggled close to me and shivered slightly. “Are you cold?” Even though it was totally obvious, I still felt like I should ask. He nodded, trying to ring the water out of his shirt. Out of impulse, I leaned forward and pressed my lips to his, grabbing his hands with mine. As we kissed, I slowly lowered my hands to the hem of his shirt and lifted it up and over his head. Once his chest was bare, I pushed him down until he lay on his back. I positioned myself so I was straddling him, moving my mouth to his neck, gently kissing and biting along his jaw line.

    He sighed happily, but pushed me away slightly. I looked at him confused until I saw the sad, pained look in his eyes. “I…I’m sorry. I don’t think I can do this. I mean…not now. I don’t want to ruin what we have.”

    I stared at him with a look that I hoped showed him some understanding. “Is this because of her?” He nodded slightly and then looked away from me like he was ashamed of himself. Frowning, I grabbed his chin and carefully moved his face until he was looking at me again. “Why are you beating yourself up over what she did to you? She’s not worth it.”

    “I know she’s not worth it. It’s just…I don’t want our relationship to be about sex the way Eliza thought it was. You’re much more to me than that.”

    I blushed, “I am?”

    “Of course!”

    I started kissing him again, not even caring about our earlier conversation. Thankfully, he didn’t seem to think about it, either. We made out for a long while, but never pushed it any farther. Eventually, I laid my head on his chest, listening to his heart beat. Both of us never said a word. We just enjoyed each other’s silent company until we both fell asleep.


    Gee’s P.O.V.

    “HOLY SHIT! Where the fuck are we!”

    I jolted awake to Lindsey’s loud shrill. “Huh…wha?” I looked to see her flailing her arms like an idiot while she looked around in panic. I laughed as I took in her beautiful, still sleepy face. Her hair was scattered all over the place, falling in her face and sticking straight up in the air. ‘How did it get that messy? Is mine that bad?’

    I was pulled out of my thoughts abruptly when Lindsey grabbed my shoulders and shook me vigorously. “OH MY GOD, Gerard! We’re so lost! We’re gonna die, aren’t we!?! Oh God!”

    I chuckled as she started to look around again and grip my shoulders more tightly. “Lindsey, we are not lost. This is a lake. There is no way out of the lake except on foot. And, we are not going to die. Calm down.” I grabbed her chin gently with my hand and kissed her softly. “Better?”

    She smiled sheepishly at me as she relaxed her hold on my shoulders. ‘Thank you, Linds. That’s gonna leave a bruise.’ She leaned in for another kiss as she ran her hands over my still exposed chest. I shivered at her touch, smiling at the soft caresses I received from my belly button region and inside my mouth. Of course, every good moment has to be ruined. At that moment, my phone vibrated in my pocket (way too close to a few very sensitive parts of my body) and I jumped.

    “Holy…that felt weird.” I blushed into the darkest shade of red ever as I pressed the ‘read’ button for the text I just received from Frank. ‘Soooo… How did ‘it’ go?’

    Lindsey read over my shoulder. “How did what go?” She asked with the most devilish grin on her face.

    “Uh…um…uh…it’s just…dammit! I hate you, Frank!

    She laughed as I fumed. “Hey, it’s ok. From what I remember about Frank, that’s normal. And I don’t mind if you tell him ‘it’ went well.”

    I couldn’t help but smile wide. I nuzzled my face into her neck as I pulled her into a nice, intimate hug. “Nah. If nothing happened, then he will be extremely pissed, and I will be happy. So, nothing happened.”

    She laughed at my messed up knowledge while she pushed me down on the boat and laid her head on my chest. “I like your version better. But, on another note, I’m starving. Why don’t we get out of this boat and get something to eat?” I nodded as we both sat up and got the boat moving towards the shore.


    Soooo...this is the last part of the date. YAY! I hope you all like it, and once again I apologize for the long wait. I will try to avoid the long pauses between posts. No promises though... Anyway, thanks for your posts, I appreciate them! I love you!


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