Discussion post your boy/girl problems here!!

Discussion in 'General Off Topic' started by MCRaddiction, Nov 14, 2006.

  1. xokay_nowx

    xokay_nowx Become, become, become

    A guy from college who I don't find attractive asked me out. Ugh it's like I wish this could work, he's nice to talk to and I'm lonely, but if there's not at least some physical attraction I don't see how a relationship could work.
    Tbh it was just like this with the last guy I went out with, but I decided to give him a chance and see. I think by our second date I was feeling more comfortable with him, so maybe it would've been fine, but then he stopped talking to me.

    Btw I told the new guy I didn't know him well so basically "we'll see." So now he wants to start hanging out with me and hopes I'll decide to go out with him. I wouldn't mind hanging out and being friends with him at all, but I don't know how to let someone down in this situation, I'm really not used to it.
  2. Dust Angel

    Dust Angel Unloveable. Staff Member

    ^ I've been in a similar situation, except I never used the "I don't know you well enough." excuse, I just kept putting it off, like, ignoring it whenever he let his feelings slip. We tried dating once and it lasted about a day, I just couldn't do it. Now he's one of my best friends.

    So if it doesn't end happily as far as romance goes, you might still land yourself a good friend. /shrugs
  3. Seraphim

    Seraphim Active Member

    I think you should give him a chance, Megan.
    Even after the first time Nathan and I kissed, I thought nothing of it and didn't really feel anything; he was just another boy.
    And when he asked me out I was caught completely off guard and I was really hesitant... but I decided I had nothing to lose and to give him a shot, and I'm really glad I did. I know in my case, when I like someones personality, then they suddenly become a lot more attractive to me physically. So maybe that that will happen to you.
  4. xokay_nowx

    xokay_nowx Become, become, become

    Good advice, both of you. :)

    I'm going to keep talking to him and see what happens. He really likes me, he texted me all weekend.
    We might be going to a college event tomorrow night, or he might have to work.
    He said "We'd be going as friends?" and I said yeah because I don't want there to be an expectation of a kiss and a second date if I'm not feeling it. When he originally asked me out he said, "Do you think you would date me if we hung out more?" (We've never hung out before except to study in a group.) It was a weird question to answer because it was like he was asking, "Do you think we could be boyfriend/girlfriend" which is a weird question to assess when I've never even thought of him as a potential date until he brought it up.
    To me it makes sense to first be friends, then go on a date, then possibly decide be boyfriend/girlfriend. It's like he's going about that in the wrong order. So confusing!
  5. YouKnowYouLoveMe

    YouKnowYouLoveMe New Member

    I kinda like this guy but he's like 16 and i'm 3 years younger than him.
    He's also my Cadets leader. :/
  6. rubidoux.

    rubidoux. princess

    You know when like, you're not official, but you're not supposed to be flirty/interested in others?
    Well, I'm there with Mike. I think everything's going superbly, and then, I meet Morgan.
    Funny, charming, well read, talented, sweet, same issues I have inside, Mark-has-been-trying-to-set-me-up-with-for-weeks Morgan.
    And nothing makes sense anymore.
  7. Dust Angel

    Dust Angel Unloveable. Staff Member

    My girlfriend and I haven't been able to have a proper conversation in over a week, due to our lack of time and the fact that she doesn't have a phone anymore. I know a week away shouldn't be so hard, but it really is, especially when I'm as dependent on her as I am. It's sort of embarrassing how much of my time and energy was spent talking to her throughout the day, and now that I can't, I have nothing else to do.
  8. Nephilim

    Nephilim Give me love.

    I had that issue with my boyfriend during his first week back at University, it was horrible not talking to him as much as I was used to but it can work in your advantage when you do see your girlfriend. It'll make you appreciate the time with her that much more. Just think of it that way until you can work out a more permanent solution.
  9. Dust Angel

    Dust Angel Unloveable. Staff Member

    ^ Thanks [: We're long distance, so the "big pay off" won't be for a while, but I'm hoping it'll all have been worth it. I just miss her dearly :'(
  10. Flock of Margot

    Flock of Margot New Member

    Would you guys consider a 35 min. drive to be long distance?
  11. Dust Angel

    Dust Angel Unloveable. Staff Member

  12. Seraphim

    Seraphim Active Member

    I wish my boyfriend and I lived that close to each other. I have to drive that, plus another 2 hours when I want to see him... -_-
  13. Dust Angel

    Dust Angel Unloveable. Staff Member

    My girlfriend lives about 3k miles away.
  14. Flock of Margot

    Flock of Margot New Member

    Oh damn, I feel shitty for asking now...
    I was just trying to firgure out if something could work, but it doesn't even matter because he still has a girlfriend. ._.
  15. Nephilim

    Nephilim Give me love.

    In all honestly, I think it depends on what country you're living in. In most European countries, two or three hours would be a considerable distance away if I'm not mistaken, where as in Australia that's honestly not too far. I lived half an hour away from my school, nearly three hours away from my boyfriend, etc. 35 minutes is no where near long distance.
  16. xokay_nowx

    xokay_nowx Become, become, become

    Where I live you can drive 35 minutes and still be in the same city.

    To me LDR is at least 1 or 2 hours apart. But then others are thousands of miles apart, so it's all relative etc.
  17. Dust Angel

    Dust Angel Unloveable. Staff Member

    As a side note, I definitely don't recommend long distance relationships. I adore the person I'm with, but if I could somehow change things to where she lived here or vice versa, I'd do it in a heartbeat.

    Anyway, Megan's totally right about perspective. I have friends who are devastated that they live 20 minutes away from their significant other, and some who are practically neighbors with their's, which according to them makes things "boring". They really don't know how great they have it if you ask me.
  18. Flock of Margot

    Flock of Margot New Member

    Thanks guys. I feel bad for saying that I hope he breaks up with his gf soon, but I really, really hope that he breaks up with his gf soon.
  19. _Blackheart_

    _Blackheart_ Guest

    Im not sure if this is much a boy/girl problem but here goes, and since you guys have offered me pretty sound advice through the years, I know i can trust you all :):$:

    Anyway, im due to give birth to my son soon (due date is tomorrow but i know we're gonna go over lol). My fiance and myself have talked about godparents for him but we're both not really that religious and i thought only religious people had godparents for kids?, turns out I can have godparents but without the proper ceremony and such they'll be in name only, which is fine with me as we're both not that religious.

    So, i was thinking about asking my friends to be Sebastian's (My son!) godmothers..Only for it to be sprung on me a few days ago that he'd already asked his lesbian friends (Whom are lovely people) to be his godparents, yeah im cool with same sex relationships but i just cant help but want a spot of normality when raising my sons..I wouldn't know what to say if my son grows up and then asks me why he has two godmothers?:no:

    And the fact that my fiance didn't discuss this with me first has made me rather angry, do you think these pregnancy hormones are making me over react or is there reason to my madness?
  20. Thumbelina

    Thumbelina Administrator Staff Member

    ^I think the fact that you want to raise your kid in such a way that he'll also believe that same-sex relationships aren't "normal" is abhorrent. I think you need to give YOURSELF a good talking to. You're obviously not "cool" with same-sex relationships if you don't want two "lovely" women who happen to be in a relationship to be guardians for your child.

    How are you going to explain to him that two women can be in a sexual/romantic relationship? I think the more pressing question is how are you going to explain why his mother didn't want his two favourite 'aunties' to be his godmothers just because they're in love? I think the more pressing question is how are you in any way fit to be a mother if you can't think of ANY way to explain to your child that love isn't just between a cisman and a ciswoman?

    Too harsh? Tell it to the lesbian couple you think aren't normal. Tell it to them while you're also telling them that you don't want them to have a special influence in your child's life just because they happened to fall in love with someone of the same sex. Tell it to them while you remind them, yet again, that the world doesn't see their relationship as being as valid, as significant, as important, as NORMAL as a heterosexual relationship.

    You're welcome.

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