Discussion in 'General Off Topic' started by Baskest Case, Oct 25, 2007.
^ The Plath one is fucking hilarious.
^I thought so too, perfect timing
Jamie: If another boy wants to take you out to dinner sometime, you let him. But make sure it's somewhere nice and bring me home your left-overs.
I get the Plath bit SO OFTEN.
Morgan: "We invited the neighbourhood gay kid to go to Free Slurpee Day with us!"
"Buy him dinner before you make sexual advances on him. Common curtesy."
"I bought him a Slurpee!"
"A free one!"
"I'm pretty sure that still counts."
[discussing how Axl Rose once wanted to take Guns 'n Roses in a more Nine Inch Nails direction]
Katie: But like... Guns 'n Roses and Nine Inch Nails are total opposites.
Katie: Well... Guns 'n Roses is like "take me down to the paradise city where the grass is green and the girls are pretty," and Nine Inch Nails is like "DARK... PAIN... questioning my sexuality... (just kidding I like girls)"
Literally made me lol xD!
^Same here, LOL!
Me: Norah Jones is so cool.
Jamie: I bet she grows her own produce.
Me: I bet she grinds her own coffee beans.
J: I bet she does yoga.
Me: I bet she rolls her own joints.
J: I bet she...wait, my google app is broken..
[Also, via text]
Me: I need to ask you something. It's important.
J (an hour later): Sorry, I was asleep, what is it?
Me: Are you down...with O.P.P.????
J:What, Babe, come on! You know me! XD
Me: I will piss on everything you love!
Nathan: You're going to piss on yourself?!
Boyfriend's father while eating some dough ball desert: "Speaking of balls, are you two having sex yet?"
Me on the phone - Down the south beach? You said north, fine.
Vicki - Where are they?
Me - They are now at the south beach
Oli - OH MY GOD! We have to walk that far? Its fucking hot day and we walked from yours...When We get there, I am going to bone them in the eye...
Me- Bone them in the eye? WTF Oli?
Oli - well not bone, just... Poke her eye out with my penis and then bone...
Me - Oh, have fun.
Oli - Revenge! Boning her in the eye.
"Do you want an Australian kiss? It's like a French kiss except down under" - random person to me earlier today
Random guy in a pub to me- In Fifty Shades of Grey, does he tie her up and do ruff sex?
Me - Yes...
Guy - Really? Can I tie you up and do that stuff to you?
My Boyfriend - She's taken, fuck off. *Death Glare*
Dad: (Talking about a castle) Wow, I love a good ruin.
Mum: Probably why you're married to me.
Dad: Look out for giant mutant sharks.
My little cousin got her first period and was complaining about cramps.
Me: Go lay down in the shower and let the water hit your tummy.
Her: I can't lay down in the shower, I pee in there!
Me - My friend said she doesn't like Oli Sykes(Bring Me The Horizon) Voice, but she like him.
Oli - *Looks stunned and evil* Well . . . next time you see your friend tell her, that she should go jump off a cerb and eat the grass on the other side . . .
Me - Um okay, I will tell her tomorrow.
Oli - Good . . . but say it nicely, like I said it nicely, ya know...
Me - WTF child?
Legit convo on tumblr through private asks (I adore this girl)
me: You are suppose to spell it "breadstix" shh... You made me hungry. Have fun in Math!
her: nooo ): EQUATIONS
me: Quadratic equations. Please find: f(x)= (I'm too stupid to thinks of anything else.) The moral of this story.... math sucks!
her: why did the alphabet have to get involved?? ):
me: Because it secretly hates us and wants us to die. Just wait until Imaginary Numbers come along (if they haven't already)
her: o: Mitt Romney is a number!
me: lmfao. Yes he is. I thought this was common knowledge!
In college at lunch time... My friend is playing dinosaur cards,
My friend - Do Dinosaurs have sex for pleasure?
Me - How the hell would I know that? Dinosaurs are extinct anyway...
My friends - NO DON'T SAY THAT! The are REAL
Me - No
My Friend - Yes they are! I have one living in my room! Under my bed to be exact!
Me - Alright they are real! Now shut up!
My friend - They are real, DINOSAURS ARE REAL! (He shouts embarassing me)
Me - Stop screaming your not two!
My Friend - I love Dinosaurs
Me - *WTF?* Okay, now shut up and sit down you fucking retard,
My Friend - Their gonna kill you..
WTF? And he's 19!
Me: No! What is this? Why do I have a pumpkin on my head? I don't like it.
Mr Dawes: I've been more scared of a gnat farting!
In AP Lang:
Random Student: "Whatever, Ms. B's old."
(Ms. B looks up and pretends to be hurt.)
Other Student: "Ms. B isn't old; she's aging."
Good Friend Brennan: "Like wine. Fine wine." *winks at Ms. B*
Another conversation with Brennan while playing hide-and-seek in Walmart on Black Friday.
Me: "I took my jacket off so you couldn't see me as well."
Brennan: "I could definitely still see your bright purple jacket."
Me: "How in the world did you see it? I was holding it at waist height the whole time! Unless you were walking around looking at waist height."
Brennan: "Oh, I always look at waist height, doll." *winks*
Nathan: *while asleep* ADSFJLKWEELC BJKSDLKNJB!!!
Me: .... Hahaha what the fuck???
Nathan: That's just what it was like! Hahahaha! *starts snoring*
*going on a date with my boyfriend at the time*
Jamie *to my mum* Are you getting your Chinese food at the same restaurant as us?
My Mum No, I'm going to drop you two off at a Chinese restaurant and then drive to another Chinese restaurant and get my Chinese food
Jamie *talking to me* Is she being sarcastic?
Me *in a very sarcastic tone* NAH!
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