No-one wants to die

Discussion in 'Completed Fan Fictions' started by kadoodle, Dec 2, 2010.

  1. xoxSTEFxox

    xoxSTEFxox Guest

    i feel really bad for gee he better not throw up :( hes lost lots of weight hasnt he :/ x
     
  2. He weighs less than me 0.0 and he's a LOT taller than me.
    Oh dear, Gee!
     
  3. kadoodle

    kadoodle crazy cat lady Staff Member

    Chapter 42

    "Mikey, get your hand out of there, God only knows where it's been!" Maria smacked Mikey's hand away as he reached out to dip a finger in the bowl of cream she was whipping to go on the sponge cake her and Donna had made Gee for his birthday.
    The boys had just come back from spending Gerard's birthday money at the mall on new clothes, which Gerard was now getting changed into whilst Mikey, Ray and Frank hung around the kitchen getting in the way. Maria had hoped to make a cake and bring it over as a surprise, but her mom hadn't let her. But Donna was more than happy to oblige with letting Maria use her kitchen, and she enjoyed the female company after shooing the boys away to go shopping.


    "So, come show me," she demanded, as Gerard walked reluctantly down the stairs, "I want to see how handsome you look."
    Wearing a fitted blue shirt and black jeans, Gerard turned around on the spot and did a hip-wriggle, "not bad?" he asked, "doesn't make my butt look fat?"
    Ray threw a box of tissues at him, "If I hear you say fat once more, I'm going to kick you," he said, "you're being really stupid."
    "You look stunning," cut in Maria, turning off the beaters. Mikey reached across her and pulled the mixers out of the machine, passing one to Frank and licking the other. "Mikey and Frank, that is so gross."
    "It's not gross, it's yummy," objected Frank, whipped cream on his nose, "are you going to make frosting too?"
    "If you make frosting, I'm not eating it," stated Gerard flatly, "frosting is gross."
    "You just dust icing sugar on a sponge cake, Frank" said Donna, "and don't you dare try to stick your dirty finger in the bowl, Michael!"
    Mikey, blushing and trying unsucessfully to look innocent, hid his hand behind his back.

    Just then the phone rang, giving Mikey one last hard look, Donna left to answer it. She was back in a minute, "Maria, it's Katy for you" she said, handing Maria the phone.
    A few moments later, Maria re-appeared, teary eyed.
    "What's wrong?" asked Gerard.
    Maria let out a shriek of excitement, "Dean got sent down!" she cried, "he's in juvenile detention for 12 months, then to an adult prison!"
    Gerard screamed and, lifting her up, swung her around in excitement. "That's the best birthday present ever!" he shouted, hugging her tightly.
    "I know," she replied, tearing up again.

    ********************

    Frank was asleep with his head in Mikey's lap, Ray and Katy were deep in conversation, Gemma was asleep on the couch, and Maria was nodding off on Gerard's shoulder. Gerard stroked her hair and watched the tv without really watching it. It was after midnight and he still couldn't believe that Dean was gone. He'd never have to worry about him again. Apparently Matt was looking at doing some time too.
    He was free from them.
    Kissing Maria, he leaned his head against hers and drifted off to sleep.
     
  4. Kira

    Kira Member

    Loved the update :) Im so in love with this story xD
    Update soon?
     
  5. Chemical 30

    Chemical 30 Just 'That' Girl

    YAY he's gone!
    Well at least I hope so...but I also have a feeling something might go wrong
     
  6. xoxSTEFxox

    xoxSTEFxox Guest

    aww this one is so cute im glad dean got what he deserved x
     
  7. naww. what a good birthday :)
     
  8. kadoodle

    kadoodle crazy cat lady Staff Member

    Chapter 43

    Halfway through a race up the ropes in gym, Gerard felt suddenly dizzy. Shaking his head to try and clear it, he slid to the ground, burning his hands in the process, and crumpled in a heap on the matting underneath the ropes. Eyes shut and willing himself not to be sick, he heard muffled footsteps and felt someone shove his head - not roughly - between his knees.
    "There's the boy, keep breathing now" said the coach's voice, as Gerard gasped for breath, digging his nails into his forarms. He'd been feeling a bit off all day, breathless and dizzy when he ran that morning, not up to eating and not able to concentrate in class.
    "I'm ok now," he said, going to stand up.
    "Go sit out the rest of the class" advised the coach, "Daniel, give Gerard a hand, he still looks a bit light-headed."
    Gerard started to protest, but Daniel took him by the elbow and steered him over to the sidelines.
    "You look really pale," said Daniel, "you sure you're ok?"
    Wondering why Daniel was being nice to him, Gerard nodded and sagged gratefully to the floor once they reached the edge of the hall. Leaning against the wall, he closed his eyes and wrapped his arms around himself, feeling suddenly cold.
    Daniel squatted down beside him, "dude, I'm getting the teacher, you look like you're gonna puke any minute."

    Five minutes later, Luke and Daniel were taking Gerard to the nurse.
    "So why are you being nice to me?" asked Gerard as they walked towards the office and sick bay.
    "Dean and Matt are gone" replied Daniel, "I don't have to do what they tell me to anymore."
    "Why did you do it in the first place?" asked Luke, shooting him a dark look.
    Daniel just shrugged, "I dunno" he said eventually, "fear I guess."
    "Guys," spoke up Gerard weakly, "you're gonna have to stop there, because I'm about to pass out." Eyes rolling back into his head, he staggered then slumped towards the ground, the other boys catching him as he fell.

    The next thing Gerard knew, he was lying in bed. An unfamiliar bed, with the lights dimmed. Muffled voices were coming from the next room. Sitting up slowly in bed, he strained to hear what was being said.
    "....he's been to the doctor a few times, we've been told that it's nothing to worry about." Donna's voice wafted through the half-closed door, she sounded cross.
    "I think you might need to take him back there, he fainted today, he's just so thin now too. I did all the boys' weights and heights last week and do you realize just how much weight he's lost? Over ninety pounds, that's too much, too fast. He needs help!" That was the new coach's voice.
    "Do you realize he can hear you too?" advised Gerard, pushing the door open between the two rooms and glaring at everyone. His parents and Mikey were there, as were the gym coach and nurse. They all looked at him, startled, before Mikey ran over and hugged him.
    "Oh Gee, we've been so worried about you! It's like 4 o'clock, you've been out cold for ages. What's wrong?"
    "I'm fine Mikey," said Gerard weakly, "I've just been feeling off today. I didn't mean to scare anyone."
    "Lets get you home," said Donna, turning the coach, she added, "I'll phone you once I get him to bed, Mr...?"
    "It's Mr Thomas, but call me Jack. What was you name again?"
    "I'm Donna, this is my husband Don and our other son Michael. I appreciate your concern Jack. I had no idea things had gotten this out of hand."

    Donna settled Gerard on the couch with a bowl of chicken soup and some toast on a tray. Sitting next to him, she gave him a hard look, "what do you think you're playing at son? Are you trying to kill yourself slowly or is this to do with bullying still?"
    "I'm not playing at anything," pouted Gerard, dunking some toast in his soup, "I just felt sick today, maybe I'm coming down with something."
    "You can have the day off tomorrow, but I'm taking you back to the dr. as soon as I can get you an appointment. And this time I'll come in with you." She stared hard at him, daring him to contradict her.
    "Aww, mom!" complained Gerard, "I'm ok, honest. Things are getting better at school and I'm not starving myself anymore, I promise."
    His mother looked at him dubiously. "Finish your soup then go to bed. I'll have a chat to your teacher and your father and go from there. I can't believe you've got this bad without me realizing."
    "I'm sorry mom," said Gerard, tears starting in his eyes, "I didn't mean for things to get this bad either. I just couldn't take all the bullying, all the comments, being the fat kid that everyone picked on. I just took it too far, I'll get better mom. Just let me do it in my own way, in my own time."
    "Let me think about it, honey," she replied, stroking his hair, "now finish your soup and off to bed for an early night."
     
  9. xoxSTEFxox

    xoxSTEFxox Guest

    :( im glad those boys are nice to gee now but he seriously does need help but if he pukes up anymore im gonna shove pizza and milkshake down his throat aswell as some ice cream xx
     
  10. Kira

    Kira Member

    Eat Gee!!! Dammit!!
     
  11. Aww, he sounds remorseful. It's good he lost that weight, but dam, he needs to GAIN something
     
  12. kadoodle

    kadoodle crazy cat lady Staff Member

    Chapter 44

    Waking up in the early hours of the morning, shivering so hard with chills that his teeth chattered, but drenched in sweat, Gerard fought hard to suppress the nightmare he'd just had. It had been something about running through a graveyard in the rain. Getting shakily out of bed, he stripped off his soaking bedclothes and headed to the bathroom to shower. Despite his efforts to be quiet, the pipes clattered and shuddered noisily and the water pressure screeched as he started the shower running. Turning it up as hard and hot as he could, he stripped off and stood under the steam, trying to stop shivering.
    "Is that you Gee?" came his mother's voice from the other side of the door a few minutes later, "what's up honey?"
    He reluctantly shut off the water and wrapped two towels around himself. One around the waist and one around the shoulders. As soon as he was away from the warmth of the shower, his teeth started chattering with cold again.
    "I'll be ok mom," he told her, letting himself out of the bathroom.
    She was standing in the hallway wearing a dressing gown and a worried expression, "what's happened? Why are you having a shower at 5am?"
    "I woke up freezing and covered in sweat. I was trying to get if off me and warm up," he replied through chattering teeth.
    "Go get some pyjamas on and I'll get you some fresh sheets and tylanol," she advised.


    Sitting in the dr's office later than morning, Gerard fought to keep his eyes open. The tylenol had stopped him aching and feeling so cold, but he still felt exhausted, like he'd just run a marathon.
    "I'll send you for a chest x-ray, son" said the dr.
    Gerard nodded, not taking it it. Resting his head on his mom's shoulder, he let his eyes rest shut for what seemed like a second.
    The next thing he knew, she was patting his cheek to wake him up. "Come on baby, we've got to get over to the hospital for a chest x-ray. They think you might have pneumonia."
    "Huh?" Blinking and struggling to his feet, he followed her out to the car and curled up in the passenger seat, rested his head against the door and fell back asleep.

    The rest of the morning followed in a blur of tests and doctors offices, but by lunchtime Gerard was back in bed with some eurithramicacyn antibiotics, a glass of chocolate milk and a diagnosis of pneumonia.
    "Now you stay here and stay warm," instructed Donna, fussing over his bedding, tucking him in like he was a little kid.
    "Sure," mumbled Gerard. He drained his milk, curled up and was asleep again within seconds.

    He slept on and off for the next few days, with Donna waking him for food and medicine. He didn't really want to eat or drink, as that meant waking up to use the bathroom, but Donna was insistant.
    "I promised them at the hospital that you wouldn't need to stay, that we'd be alright with you at home. So you're going to eat and you're going to get better." she told him when he objected.
    Too weak and tired to fight, Gerard did as he was told.
    Maria came to visit each day after school, but he struggled to stay awake and speak to her. He did catch hold of her telling him that Matt had been sent down too. Hugging this piece of news, he started to feel a bit better.

    By Friday, however, he felt well enough to get up, have a shower and go downstairs for breakfast. His legs felt shakey and weak from not being used for a few days, so he made sure he held the bannister tightly as he walked slowly down to the kitchen.
    "Morning honey, I was just about to come and wake you," called Donna from the sink, where she was filling the kettle. "How are you feeling?"
    "Lots better," he replied, sinking gratefully into a chair, worn out from the short walk down the stairs from the bedroom. "Just tired and a bit weak still."
    "I'm not surprised," replied Donald, who was finishing his toast and coffee before heading to work, "you've had a rough few months. I think it's your body's way of telling you to have a rest." He stood up, stretched and headed for the door, "you coming Mikey, I'll drop you at school on the way to work."
    "Hang on," called Gerard, "can you wait a minute and drop me off too? I'll just grab some toast to eat in the car."
    "You're not going anywhere," scolded Donna, "you're staying inside where it's warm. I'm also going to weigh you and make sure I don't need to take you back to the hospital."
    "Why do you need to do that?" asked Gerard, helping himself to piece of toast and buttering it.
    "Because if you end up under 100lb, you'll need to be admitted as an inpatient so they can keep an eye on you," replied Donna, "pneumonia's a big deal and you've been asleep all week. You can't afford to get any thinner or any weaker."
    "All week?" squeaked Gerard, shocked, "what day is it?"
    "It's Friday honey," replied his mom.
     
  13. Kira

    Kira Member

    Awww, Gee!
    Please be okay... <33 did I mention that I'm so hooked on this story?! Update soon!!
     
  14. oh poor baby! I just know he's gunna be under 100, and that upsets me
     
  15. kadoodle

    kadoodle crazy cat lady Staff Member

    Chapter 45

    "Deep breaths, good boy, keep going," the stethescope was freezing and the dr seemed to be jamming it unnecessarily hard against his ribs. Gerard was sure he was going to end up with bruises, but he gritted his teeth and kept taking slow, deep breaths. Finally the dr slung it back around his neck.
    "So what's the story?" asked Donna, twisting her hands nervously in her lap, "is he better?"
    "Well," replied the dr slowly, turning to wash his hands in the sink in the corner of the examination room at the hospital, "those lungs are much clearer than they were earlier in the week. Young people usually recover very well, very quickly, especially if the pneumonia is treated quickly and there's no complications. How are you feeling, son?" he asked Gerard, turning towards him.
    "Tired, I guess," Gerard replied, "a bit weak. I'm not coughing so much any more though, which is good."
    "You'll be tired for a while yet, another week or two. You'll need to keep warm and rest when you feel tired. You should be well enough to go back to school on Monday, but only if you feel up to it." He gave Gerard a hard look, "now, your mom tells me you're still losing weight in spite of being told not to."
    Gerard shot his mom a look of betrayal, "I haven't felt well enough to eat, it's not like I'm trying to starve myself."
    "Well, first of all I'd like you to hop on the scales for me, then I'm going to get a nurse to draw some blood to make sure you don't have any deficiencies." Standing up, he took out a set of electronic scales from a cupboard, "now, take your shoes off, you can keep your jeans and tee shirt on."
    "Do I have to?" Gerard asked, pouting slightly, "mom weighed me at home"
    "It's not going to hurt, I just need to make sure I give you the right dose of antibiotic when I write out a new prescription for you." said the dr.
    Sighing, Gerard stood on the scale, making sure he looked straight ahead.
    "99lb, so just under the watershed for sending you to hospital," observed the dr, looking over Gerard's shoulder, "but I'll give you the benefit of the doubt, so long as you're back above 100 when I see you next Friday."
    "I thought we were going to see our regular dr downtown," cut in Donna.
    "No, I'd like you to come back here and have your son see a psychologist, as well as one of the registrars to do some more blood work and baselines." replied the dr, "I'm a bit cautious of letting this go on for longer than it has to."

    Thanking him, Donna and Gerard waited for a nurse, who took Gerard's blood (he had a bit of a panic attack, but was relieved that he didn't faint or throw up this time. Maybe it was because he was so tired.), then they headed to the pharmacy to fill the script for the new antibiotics and a course of multivitimins.
    Gerard was flagging by now, and fell asleep again in the car on the way home.
    Pulling up in the driveway, Donna patted his cheek to wake him up. "Come on honey, wake up and come inside. Lets get you settled on the couch and I'll make you some lunch."

    Mikey let himself in the front door from school just after 4pm. Spotting a mop of dark brown hair hanging over the arm of the chair, he figured his brother was out of bed, if not exactly up and about just yet. Dropping his schoolbag on the kitchen floor and grabbing a couple of cookies from the tin on the benchtop, he went to investigate.
    Gerard was fast asleep, snoring lightly. Donna had thrown a blanket over him after he had fallen asleep, not wanting to wake him to go upstairs to bed. Curled up, his hands under his cheek, he looked peaceful and childlike. Mikey tucked the blanket back up around his shoulders and was just turning to leave when his brother's eyes fluttered open.
    "Hey Mikes," said Gerard weakly, "is it afternoon already?"
    "Yeah," replied Mikey, sitting down beside his brother and offering him a cookie, "it's after four. How are you feeling?"
    Gerard waved away the proffered cookie, "not bad, just tired. Can you get me a drink so I don't have to walk all the way to the kitchen as well as the bathroom?"
    "Sure, I'll get you some soda," offered Mikey, "mom said she was going to buy some."

    Exhausted from the short walk to the bathroom and back, Gerard curled up again on the sofa, gratefully taking the glass of lemonaide Mikey offered him. Mikey had brought the cookie tin back with him too, and placed it between himself and Gerard on the sofa, taking the lid off to allow the smell of freshly baked oatmeal and chocolate cookies to permeate the room.
    "Mikey, did you have to do that?" complained Gerard, putting the lid back on the tin and sticking it on the floor.
    "Yep, sure did," replied Mikey, retriving the tin, opening it and fishing out a cookie, which he held out to his brother, "and if you don't eat this, I'll hit you over the head with it."
    "Don't be stupid," replied Gerard, "I'm not hungry anyway."
    "Bullshit you're not," Mikey raised his eyebrows so that they disappeared under his fringe, "and I don't care if you fool mom into thinking you're trying to get better, you're not fooling me. Now eat this fucking cookie or else."
    Grinning in spite of himself at his baby brother's efforts to bully him, Gerard took the cookie and ate it. Draining the last of his drink, he put the glass on the floor, shoved the cookie tin out of the way and put his head on Mikey's lap. Wrapping his arms around his torso and knowing that his stomach was going to hurt now that it had food in it, Gerard shut his eyes and willed himself to fall asleep before the cramping hit.
     
  16. Kira

    Kira Member

    Awwww:) I liked the ending.
    Eat.Some.Food.Gee.Or.I.Will.Hit.You.With.A.Spoon.
    Uppdate soon :)
     
  17. Chemical 30

    Chemical 30 Just 'That' Girl

    I missed a shit load of updates!
    Eat Gerard....or I'll hit you over the head with a cookie!
     
  18. xoxSTEFxox

    xoxSTEFxox Guest

    hes not getting better :'( *starts crying histerically for gerard to get well * i *sniff* need a *sniff* update soon *sniff* pretty please xx
     
  19. Why doesn't he want to get better! He's hurting everyone, including himself! Why Gerard? Why?
     
  20. kadoodle

    kadoodle crazy cat lady Staff Member

    Chapter 46

    Clutching a diet coke, Gerard slid into the seat beside Ray at lunchtime on Monday. "So are we running in the morning or what?" he asked, cracking the can open and taking a mouthfull, "Mom wouldn't let me this morning, she insisted on driving me to school too."
    Ray looked up from his sandwich and gave Gerard a hard look, "dude, you're still recovering from pneumonia, you can't be serious."
    "Why wouldn't I be?" asked Gerard, giving his friend a quizzical look, "I've still got weight to lose."


    Angrily, Ray slammed his sandwich down on the table and stood up. Grabbing Gerard by the shoulders, he steered him out of the cafeteria and down the hall to the bathrooms. Shoving him through the door, he turned him roughly towards the mirror, almost slamming him against it.
    "Where?" he demanded, shaking Gerard by the shoulders, "where have you got weight to lose?" He yanked Gerard's teeshirt over his head and threw it on the floor, "look at yourself, take a good, hard look. You're fucking skin and bone. You're killing yourself, and for what? The kids who picked on you have gone. The other guys in your year want to make it up to you. You have a beautiful girlfriend who needs your support and friends who worry about you. Now fucking well look at yourself!"
    Gerard felt tears prickling in his eyes as he glared at his hated reflection. His cheeks were hollow and his skin dry. He could see his collarbones and ribs standing out in harsh lines, whilst his jeans hung off him, revealing sharply protruding hip bones. "But this is all I can control," he whispered, "it's the only thing I can own."
    "You can fucking well own getting better," suggested Ray, picking up his shirt and turning it in the right way before handing it back. "Nobody can get the better of you if you don't let them. Don't let Dean and Matt and all those fuckwits win."
    "But getting better means putting on weight. What if I can't stop? What if I get fat again and the bullying starts again?" Gerard hugged himself, rubbing his hands on his arms as if he was cold.
    Ray put his arm around Gerard and hugged him, letting Gerard sob onto his shoulder, "You know that's not going to happen," he said, "you're stronger than that."
    Gerard pushed away from Ray and wiped his eyes on the shoulder of his teeshirt. Drawing a deep breath, he leaned over the sinks and splashed some cold water on his face, before wiping his face and blowing his nose on some paper towel. "You don't know that." he stated flatly, balling up the paper towel and throwing it in the bin.
    "Yeah, I do." replied Ray, "You've been through a shit load and that sucks. But we're all here, I'm here, Maria's here, your family, everyone wants to help you. No one wants you to get big again, but we don't want you to starve to death because of a couple of toe-rag bullies who should have been expelled years ago."
    "Ok," said Gerard slowly, "but I'm fucking scared."
    "Of course you're scared," smiled Ray, opening the door back out of the bathroom, "but we're all there for you. Now lets get you some lunch."
     

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