Crash Into My Fucking Arms [Frerard]

Discussion in 'Completed Fan Fictions' started by 0punkrocker0, Apr 2, 2008.

  1. Noemi.

    Noemi. New Member

    Ok what's up with Mikey, he's started to scare me now!!!!!!!
     
  2. FrerardLove5

    FrerardLove5 Member

    Yay!! Thank you! *Enjoys Mikey flavoured lolly in corner* We're such cyber-nerds:p
     
  3. GAH.
    Why does Mikey have to interrupt almost aalllll the sexy bits?!?
    but I wanna know why he's so serious this time... o.o
     
  4. (ignore this...SOrry.
    i double posted *kicks self*)
     
  5. Gaby

    Gaby Clash city rocker

    You're welcome.
    And yay! I totally enjoy being one.
    Haha.
     
  6. FrerardLove5

    FrerardLove5 Member

    Lol. Its fun. Especially when you're best friends with people you dont even know...:p But, we're all in this together. *Headdesk for using high school musical*
     
  7. Gaby

    Gaby Clash city rocker

    Eww.
    I fucking hate hsm.
    Lol.
    Are you saying you're like my new friend?
    Haha! Yay!
     
  8. *GASP*
    *Runs off and shoots all of the fucktards in HSM*
    WHEE! ALL IS WELL IN THE WORD TODAY!
    *leads conga line*
     
  9. lopolvo

    lopolvo New Member

    :clap: I wonder whats going to happen....
     
  10. Dreamerism

    Dreamerism New Member

    Oh well done mikey.
    Why is he all urgent all of a sudden again?
    o_O
    Must.. Read.. More..
     
  11. UPDATEY.
    pleez??
     
  12. Kriss

    Kriss Mrs. Sherlock

    Actually..I think Mikey's right.
     
  13. 0punkrocker0

    0punkrocker0 Member

    the chapters are getting longer now.
    but im NOT saying that it shouldnt be that way.

    Chapter 35

    It was getting dark outside, a cool wind blowing my hair around my face as I closed the motel room door over behind me. I leaned on the cold metal railing of the balcony, its white paint flaking off slightly under my touch, and watched as a few ashes fell from the end of my cigarette into the darkness below. I sighed. What the hell was I doing anyway? Why was my little brother having such a hard time with Frankie? I just didn't get it.

    About twenty minutes and one very spent cigarette later, I took a deep breath of the nighttime air and turned for the door to our room, rubbing my cold hands together. As I shut and locked it behind me, I realized that Frankie was curled up asleep on the bed, fingers clutching the pillow as though he was afraid someone would take it away. His breathing was deep... awfully deep. I couldn't remember Frankie ever being so entirely unconscious while he slept.

    Acting on instinct, I crossed to the bathroom and pushed the door open, flicking on the light. Resting on the counter was a bottle of sleeping pills. The stupid little shit- I hoped he hadn't taken more than the label recommended, or mixed in cocaine. Him getting sick all over himself-again- was the last thing I wanted to deal with.

    I stood and watched him sleep for a moment. Frankie had curled up tightly and left enough room- and then some- for me to comfortably lie beside him without having to worry about getting too close. Still, it seemed awkward, and I eventually decided not to sleep. There was a chair by the dirty window, and I sat down heavily with another sigh.

    I wasn't sure how much of the night had passed when Frank started whimpering in his sleep, clutching the pillow all the tighter with white-knuckled fingers. The drugs had obviously worn off, since he seemed to be dreaming. Or rather, having a nightmare.

    His shoulders were shaking, lips moving unconsciously. "No, n-no, Gerard, no please!"

    I stared, a sinking feeling in my stomach.

    "N-no..." he moaned pleadingly, rolling over, pulling the comforter to his chest, eyes still shut tightly in semi-interrupted sleep. His pale face was wet with tears. "G-gee, no..."

    Shit. Oh shit. Frank's nightmare was about me... How the hell could I have thought that we were past what I had done to him? I had been trying to pretend to both of us that it had never happened; I had thought that in some sick way, I'd had him convinced. But even if the bruises had faded, Frankie wasn't okay... Frankie was fucking broken, and I had broken him.

    God, I hated him. I hated him for letting his father hurt him... I hated him more for letting me hurt him.

    Frankie gave a sudden shuddering gasp and bolted upright, tear-filled eyes locking instantly on mine. Fuck. He knew that I'd been watching him suffer, and hadn't done a single thing. He stared at me for a minute, confusion and hurt on his face. He swallowed painfully and looked down at his lap before standing and wiping the tears away almost angrily. "S-smoke," he muttered unsteadily, passing me on his way outside onto the balcony.

    Shit. Shit shit shit. I should've said something, asked him if he was okay, or at least apologized again... Actually, I should've gone over there and woken him up, told him it was okay and it was only a bad dream... But instead I had just watched him hurting. What if my shithead brother, of all people, was right? What if I didn't love Frank? What if he didn't love me? What the hell were we doing here anyways?

    I got to my feet as the need to do something, anything at all, overwhelmed me. Moving the chair and pushing the blinds out of the way of the small window, I blocked out the reflection with my hand so that I could see Frankie outside, leaning on the railing just as I had been doing before. His silhouette was flawless. The burning tip of a cigarette glittered in the dark next to him, casting just the slightest glow of red on his face and highlighting his cheekbones, some tears still clinging to his skin. He was beautiful outwardly; if it wasn't for the hollow look in his eyes, you never could've guessed that I had ruined him.

    My stomach burned. I hated him. I hated him for being so gorgeous, for tempting me to hurt him in the first place. He had seen that my eyes had been completely devoid of any love, actually anything but lust... Well why the hell hadn't he stopped me right then?!

    I shoved my way past the chair and into the bathroom, picking up the bottle of sleeping pills and holding it up as though to read the dosage. Instead, I just slammed it angrily back down onto the countertop with a loud rattling sound as the pills shook. I could see my face in the mirror in front of me, and I realized that I hated it almost as much as I hated Frank. My fucking face. My fucking face- Without thinking, I lifted a fist and slammed it into the mirror, driving my knuckles through the shattering glass. Blood spattered across the counter and the tile floor and my face, and I could only stare at the mess I had made. Oh fucking god, I was doing it again, losing myself... Shit.

    My knuckles were bleeding badly, full of lacerations from the fragments of the mirror. I turned the water on and watched as the water going down the drain turned a sickening shade of too-bright tempera red. Could I stop fucking up for five straight minutes, maybe?

    I pressed a wad of tissues to my hand, waiting for the bleeding to stop. The cuts were to the bone, but that wasn't saying much, considering most of them were over my knuckles, and after a while, the blood began to congeal and turn dark. I threw out the tissues and tried to pick up as many of the glass shards off the counter and floor as I could before walking back over to the window.


    **i'll be rrrrright back after i freshen up a bit. =]**
     
  14. MCRmoshpitt

    MCRmoshpitt New Member

    I was gonna comment on lats nights updates last night, then my computer completely fucked up on me and I couldn't!!! I hate it when it does that!!!

    Well done Gee! Now you've succeeded in upseting Frank too!!!....Just like Mikey said you would....

    ....OOOO Mabye Mikey is phsycic (sp?) or like a puppet master and Gee and Frank are his puppets??!!!!! OOOO crazy shizz crazy shizz

    -------------------------------

    ^^^That update was awesome but Gee needs to stop loosing himself and needs to be more careful!!!!

    and I shit myself when Gee said Frank was breathing too deeply...
     
  15. Nukyster

    Nukyster Active Member

    powerful chap...
     
  16. Phoebe.

    Phoebe. New Member

    Oh. Very good. Poor Gerard.
     
  17. Kriss

    Kriss Mrs. Sherlock

    Shit.
    Poor Gee.
    And Frank..stupid dream :/
     
  18. Gaby

    Gaby Clash city rocker

    F U C K I N G A M A Z I N G!
    <3
     
  19. 0punkrocker0

    0punkrocker0 Member

    chapter time !! =]]

    Chapter 36

    Frankie was still smoking, sitting on the concrete now and hugging both knees tightly to his chest. I thought I could see his breath, even excluding the cigarette smoke, and wondered if he was cold. He pulled his arms even closer to him, shivering, and I felt a pang of guilt. Of course he was cold. I should go let him know that it was okay to come inside if he wanted.

    I opened the motel door. "...Frank?"

    He looked up. "Huh?"

    "If you're cold..."

    He got unsteadily upright and followed me back inside. As I turned around to face him, he spoke. "Why do you hate me?"

    My brain stalled. "I don't hate you, I-"

    "Why do you hate me, Gerard?!" His voice got more pleading. He wasn't going to let it go.

    "I don't! I-"

    "Gerard!" His neck muscles were taut; he must've had his teeth clenched. Both eyes were locked on mine, so innocent, so insistent, so full of pain and pleading.

    I didn't say anything, and his face darkened further.

    "I wanna know why! Is it Mikey? Is it something I do wrong? 'Cause I c-can't fuck? I swear to god, I can change whatever it is, or at least try!"

    This was not what I wanted to hear. If I was being an asshole, the least he could do was to get pissed off in return, not... this. "That's not it, that's not- Can't you just fuck off?!"

    "Just tell me, please, then I'll leave you alone, Gerard! I just want to know what I did wrong!"

    "You let me do it, you son of a bitch!" I yelled hysterically, snapping completely. I noticed that my hands were shaking, which pissed me off worse. "You let me hurt you just like you let your fucking father hurt you, and I hate you for it; I fucking hate you for it!"

    Frankie's face went still, like he was trying not to cry. His voice came out quiet and unnaturally shaky. "You hate... m-me? You hate m-me because I let you h-hurt me?"

    Even I could hear how sickeningly selfish that logic sounded. But I nodded, not trusting my vocal chords.

    Frank was crumpling, but he managed to pull his face into a taut mask before he spoke. "I... d-don't get it. G-gee, I d-don't get it!"

    What the fuck did he want me to say to him?

    "But what did I do?" he whimpered, eyes silently begging me for an answer.

    "You fucking let me!" I screamed, unable to take the incomprehension and pain on his perfect face.

    "What did you want me to do? What did you want me to do? S-shove a knife between your f-fucking eyes?"

    "Anything, you son of a bitch- You let your dad walk all over you, you let me hurt you-"

    "I thought if I just waited for it t-to be over..." Tears spilled down Frankie's face.

    "No, no, you had to stop me, goddamn you, I fucking hate you!" I couldn't stop yelling, even though he wasn't screaming back.

    He flinched. "You w-want me to be something I c-can't be, I c-could never have stopped you; even if you wanted to do it again right now I still couldn't s-stop you..." His voice broke. "I'm n-not good enough for you."

    Why did he have to keep crying like that? Why did he have to keep agreeing with me? Why was he making this so hard? I rubbed my eyes tiredly. Why couldn't he just yell back?

    Frankie's eyes were focused on the lacerated knuckles of the hand I had just used to rub my eyes. "What the f-fuck did you do?"

    I glanced down. Shit. "Broke the mirror. I'm fine."

    He lifted his own trembling hand, a long cut, barely visible now, across the fingers. I recognized it from when he had cut himself on the glass window in his living room. The day he'd told me he loved me... The same day that I had fucked up everything. "Please. Don't. Break. My. Heart," he whimpered slowly, emphasis on every word.

    I couldn't say anything. It was a cliche, but the effect it was having on me... I couldn't find the right words to express all the thoughts running through my mind. All the memories; Frankie, Frankie, Frankie...

    "I love you," Frankie murmured, very quietly. "I love you for everything you are, Gerard, I mean it. I don't care if you hurt me, I want you, I love you, I'd live through it again if I c-could just-" He choked on tears and abandoned the rest of the words, sobbing.


    **oh, i need to tell you guys.
    remember when i said that you should read the ending alone?(which isnt coming that soon) well you dont have to. i was thinking about something else. **
     
  20. myXfrankieXromance

    myXfrankieXromance New Member

    i missed loads of updates! :O
    they were all great! Damn! Why does this thing only get updated twice a day?? it should be updated every hour on the hour... or sooner lol :p im so glad the ending isnt near. this story is SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO good!
     

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