Zoom into Me (Frerard)

Discussion in 'Completed Fan Fictions' started by Viktoria Kaulitz <3, Oct 27, 2011.

  1. Viktoria Kaulitz <3

    Viktoria Kaulitz <3 New Member

    Okay here is another depressing update. Things will get better soon i promise xx

    Chapter 9
    Gerard’s POV

    I stormed out of the front door angrily. How dare they talk about me behind my back? I knew exactly where I was going. I walked 15 blocks before turning down a small alleyway and knocking three times on a wooden, weather beaten door.
    It was opened by a small blond haired man. He was about the same height as Frank and had bright blue eyes. He smiled and hugged me as I entered the building. His name was Carl and he had been my drug dealer for the last five months.
    “Gerard I haven’t seen you in a while. How have you been?” He spoke with a thick southern accent.
    “poop. That’s why I’m here.”
    “Of course. What’s it gonna be? The usual?” as he spoke he pulled out a small bag of white powder. Cocaine. This is what I usually turned to when things got bad. But it wasn’t working as well lately.
    “Actually, no. I need something stronger. All this poop is just piling on top of me. I need to forget.”
    “I have just the thing for you my friend.” He pulled out a bag that contained eight almost egg shaped, blue pills. He took one out and crushed it with a spoon before arranging the powder in a neat line.
    “What is it?”
    “Xanax. It will help you forget about anything that’s bothering you. The quickest way to feel the effects is to snort it like this.” He gestured towards the powder. “Or you can take them as pills but that takes way longer to kick in.”
    I looked at the powder and shrugged. I closed one nostril and sniffed the powder up through the other. I wiped the excess powder from my nose and reached into my pocket pulling out a fifty.
    Carl took the money and gave me the bag containing the other seven pills. He then ushered me outside and I went to sit in the nearby park to wait for the high to kick in. I didn’t have to wait long.

    Mikeys POV

    Where the f**k was he? He had been gone almost all day and I was beginning to worry. When it was dark I decided that I couldn’t just sit around and wait anymore. I had to go find him. I pulled on my coat and a pair of old converse.
    “Where you going?” Frank asked from behind me.
    “I have to find Gerard. He’s been gone all f**king day and I’m getting worried.”
    “I’m coming with you Mikey.”
    I grabbed my keys and we left the house. We ran down my street and took a shortcut into the town. We looked down all of the back alleys and didn’t find him in any of those. This made me worry because usually he just sulked in an alley getting drunk or something. I decided that we should check the park. It was huge but we had to look even if it took us all night.
    We ran down the path and split up. It probably wasn’t the best idea we had ever had since the park was dangerous at night but it was the fastest way of finding my brother.
    I carried on following the path and frank went to look in the field. I saw a small red glow further ahead and decided to check it out. As I got nearer I saw that the glow was from a cigarette. The cigarette was between the lips of my brother. My brother was slumped against a tree and looked like poop.
    “FRANK. IVE FOUND HIM. OVER HERE!” I yelled out.
    It was then that I saw the crimson stain spreading slowly across Gerard’s jean leg.
    “Gerard what’s happened?” My voice was shaky and I knelt down to look at my brother’s face. He had obviously been crying again. He knew that I was there but he wouldn’t answer me. He looked at me briefly but then returned his gaze to the inky blackness of the night.
    I was starting to panic and with shaking hands pulled his jean leg up to his knee. I gasped and almost puked when I saw where the blood came from.

    Gerard’s POV

    My arms felt heavy and my head was still dizzy from the drugs. I had also managed to get some idiot to get me a bottle of Vodka from the liquor store which had added greatly to my dizziness. I stumbled slowly through the park feeling the best that I had all day. I was planning on heading home as it was beginning to get dark but as I exited the park I came face to face with David.
    “Hey Gerard.” He smiled and wrapped his arm around my waist. I tried to pull away but he was too strong.
    “What are you doing out here on your own?” He sounded as though he actually cared.
    “Nothingmuchjustwalking.” My speech was slurred and he knew straight away that I was drunk.
    “f**k sake Way. Your drunk again. Probably high too. You really are a pathetic, worthless little junkie aren’t you?”
    He shoved me and I fell to the floor, landing with a thud. He then lashed out with his foot hitting me in the stomach.
    “Why the f**k do I bother with poop like you?” I heard him say as he walked away from me.
    His words ripped through me and I lay there for a few moments gasping for air and fighting back tears.
    When I recovered I got up and slowly started to head towards the small store at the corner of the street. I walked in and picked up the first razor that I saw. I paid and walked back to the park sinking to the ground near one of the trees that lined the path.
    My vision blurred with the tears I had held back as I set to work releasing the tiny silver blades from their plastic prison. I cut my fingers a few times but I felt no pain. I was numb. There was only one thing going through my mind, one single word that I couldn’t forget.
    I pulled back one of my jean legs and sunk one of the razor blades deep into the side of my calf. I started hacking away at my leg, ignoring the pain that became more and more visible. Blood was running quickly down my leg like the hot salty tears that covered my face. Finally I had finished slicing at my leg and looked down to inspect my work.
    Jaggedly carved into my leg was the word worthless. Blood was running from each letter. I was just worthless and now I would never forget it. I pulled down my jean and grabbed my cigarettes and a lighter from my pocket. I put the cigarette between my lips, lit it and inhaled deeply.
    I sighed as I heard footsteps coming towards me. Why couldn’t people just leave me the f**k alone? I was getting ready to stand up but stopped myself when I realized it was Mikey. I tried my best to show no emotion on my face and would barely look at him. My head started to feel strange and my eyelids felt heavy. I realized that the blood that I had lost last night mixed with what I had just lost now was beginning to have an effect on me. I was aware of Mikey calling for Frank and pulling at my jean leg before I slipped into the pool of unconsciousness that welcomed me like a black parade.

    Frank’s POV

    I ran towards the direction of Mikey’s voice. I stopped dead when I saw him sobbing next to an unconscious Gerard. My heart felt heavy as I got closer and saw the deep cuts on Gerard’s leg that were bleeding heavily.
    I knelt down next to Mikey and removed my hoodie pressing it hard against Gerard’s leg. When I had managed to stem the bleeding I looked at the wound properly. I was horrified when I saw that it wasn’t just a random collection of cuts, but they were organized and spelt out the word worthless.
    I sighed and felt tears sting my eyes. I fought them back and turned to Mikey who was still sobbing violently. I pulled him into a tight embrace shushing him until he managed to get his crying under control.
    “C’mon Mikey help me get him back to yours.”
    “Yeah sure.”
    We both wrapped one of Gerard’s arms around our shoulders and started to pull him back to the house. When we got inside we took him down to his room and laid him gently on the bed. I led Mikey back upstairs and made him a mug of coffee.
    He didn’t drink it just stared into it for a long time.
    “Were not gonna be able to fix this are we?”
    “What do you mean?” I answered his question with a question.
    “Gee. We can’t help him can we? It’s not gonna work.”
    “Sure we can Mikey. It’s just gonna take a while that’s all. It is gonna be really hard but we’ll manage.” I was lying. I really wasn’t sure we could help Gerard but I couldn’t say this to Mikey. I was gonna keep on trying though no matter what happened. I couldn’t give up on Gerard.
    “I hope your right Frank. I really hope your right.” He said quietly before going back to staring into his coffee.
    I went home that night and cried myself to sleep as images of Gerard hurting himself flashed through my mind.

    A/N: Guys please leave comments for me. I dont know if people like this story and if you dont and dont leave a comment how am i supposed to change it so that its better?? Please start leaving comments or i might stop posting this one. Okay rant over next chapter up as soon as ive written it xx
    By the way Beth i wuv your signature. That has to be one of my favorite pictures ever!!!! xxx
  2. Hi, just wanted to say I like this, and I really really really want to punch David in the face
  3. Viktoria Kaulitz <3

    Viktoria Kaulitz <3 New Member

    Chapter 10
    Mikey’s POV

    I slowly made my way down the stairs and into the kitchen. I set about making a new pot of coffee ready for when Gerard decided he was going to show his face. Judging the smell of alcohol on him the previous night he was going to need some really strong coffee and a couple of aspirin before he could listen to what I was going to say to him.
    I needed to talk to him about what he did last night. All of this cutting business had to stop. I wasn’t sure what was going to happen. Either he was going to listen to me calmly and we could get him through this or he was going to have a complete breakdown or he was going to go completely ape poop and not listen to a word I had to say. Option one seemed way to easy, no way was it going to be that way. If I had to pick between option two and three I’d definitely pick three. My brother could get super angry in certain situations and this seemed like one of those situations.
    I sat there and watched the coffee drip slowly into the jug. I was alerted that my brother was awake when I heard him running up the stairs from the basement and into the bathroom. I grimaced as I listened to him puke his guts up. After about ten minutes he emerged. He looked like poop. His skin was paler than usual, he had black bags under his eyes (I couldn’t be completely sure whether this was his eyeliner or not though), he had some serious bed hair going on and he was walking awkwardly, wincing every time he took a step forward.
    “Made any f**king coffee yet?” he snapped at me.
    “It’s almost ready.” I sighed. “Why don’t you go take a shower and when you’re done it’ll be waiting for you.”
    “What the f**k are you trying to say, dickhead?”
    “Im trying to say that you stink and need a shower. Now f**king go and have one.” I knew that I was being really stupid by challenging Gerard in one of his morning moods. The thing is though I really couldn’t be bothered for all the poop this morning. I had hardly slept and was scared shitless about what was going on in Gerard’s mind.
    “f**k you.” He muttered as he walked past me and skulked back down into the basement. I sunk back into my chair feeling completely drained and I hadn’t even started talking to him about the important stuff yet. I had no idea how I was going to do this.
    Finally I heard Gerard come back upstairs and go into the bathroom again. As soon as I heard the water start to run I picked up the phone and dialled Frank’s cell. He answered on the third ring. He didn’t sound good at all his voice was all husky as though he had been crying.
    “Frank can you come over.”
    “Yeah sure Mikey, what’s happened?”
    “Nothing. Yet.”
    “What do you mean by yet?”
    “Well I’m planning on having a conversation with Gerard about the cutting and stuff. I really don’t think I can do it on my own.”
    “I’ll be there in five minutes.”
    With that he hung up the phone. I waited anxiously for him to arrive. True to his word Frank was sitting beside me at the kitchen table within five minutes. We were discussing how we should tackle this whole thing when the bathroom door clicked open. We stopped talking and looked at the door leading into the hallway.
    Gerard appeared. He was wearing grey sweat pants and an old Metallica shirt. He looked much better than he had before he got into the shower. He looked at me and then at Frank. He walked into the room and over to the coffee machine. He poured himself a mug and sat down at the table in front of me and Frank. He had a mixture of emotions on his face from anger to worry but most of all he looked sad.
    “So what’s this all about?” He mumbled.
    “You f**king know what it’s about Gerard.” Frank snapped making both me and my brother flinch.
    “Frank calm down. Gerard we have to talk about what happened last night and the night before. All of the drinking and the cutting have to stop.”
    “I know. I’m sorry Mikey it’s just too difficult. I don’t know if I can.”
    I just stared at him in disbelief. He was agreeing with me. Was I f**king dreaming?
    “You have us to help you Gee. We just need to know why you do it.”
    “Because I feel in control. Because if I hurt myself then no one else can hurt me as bad.”
    “Who hurts you?”
    “David.” Was all he managed to choke out before he started to sob. Frank moved around to sit next to him where he pulled him into his lap and started to soothe him. The two of them looked so at ease with each other. I didn’t know why Gerard couldn’t seem to see how much better off he would be with Frank instead of David. Or if he did notice it and was just afraid why he didn’t tell the police. If he did then surely David couldn’t hurt him anymore.

    A/N: Finally chapter 10 is up. Hope you guys enjoy and please, please comments xx
  4. When Gerard cries it makes me cry!.... When someone who is in the same position like Gee you cant not feel some form of pull in wanting to just pull him close and give him a well deserved hug. It's a very well writen chapter... you've wrote something that maybe others can relate to as in the cutting/depression/ maybe the relationship ideal and that is a very awesome thing to do x this is a really good fic!
    Cant wait for the next update!
  5. Viktoria Kaulitz <3

    Viktoria Kaulitz <3 New Member

    Wow you dont know how much it means to me that you said this. I am really happy that you like this fic. Writing the next chapter now it will be up as soon as possible x
  6. Freiheit483

    Freiheit483 Member

    YES YOU UPFATED !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Love it vicki, i want to punch David in the face. Poor gerard i want to cry. Keep updating xxxxx
  7. Viktoria Kaulitz <3

    Viktoria Kaulitz <3 New Member

    Okay so next chapter for you guys. hope you like xx

    Chapter 11
    Gerard’s POV

    I stood in the bathroom not wanting to go outside of this small room and face what was going to come. I knew that Mikey was going to try and talk to me about what happened, it was inevitable. I heard the front door open and felt relief wash over me as I was convinced that Mikey was going out.
    However that relief was pulled away when I heard another voice. It was a voice that I hadn’t known long but it was definitely Frank.
    Lt as if they were banding together against me. It was one of the worst feelings ever. I felt sick and my legs wouldn’t move. I cursed myself for only bringing the old clothes I wore for lounging around the house. If I had brought some decent clothes up I could have snuck out and hid in the mall. Get lost in the crowds.
    I slowly opened the bathroom door and walked out into the kitchen. Mikey and Frank were sitting at the table, talking quietly. They stopped as soon as I entered the room. I went to the coffee machine and poured myself a mug. I was going to delay this as much as possible. I felt so f**king messed up right now. I was angry with them for wanting to have this conversation, I was worried about what was going to happen but most of all I had this feeling of extreme sadness.
    I sat down opposite Frank and Mikey who looked at me expectantly. The feeling of sickness had increased and I was now trembling slightly. I really didn’t want to be here. I didn’t want them to get angry with me for what I had done. It was my choice, my body, my f**ked up life so why couldn’t they accept it and leave me alone.
    “So what’s this all about?”
    “You f**king know what it’s about Gerard.” Franks tone was harsh and I really had to work hard to not cry. I couldn’t look at either of them because I was afraid that I wouldn’t be able to hold back my emotions. I didn’t want them to think I was weak. I just stared down into my coffee.
    “Frank calm down. Gerard we have to talk about what happened last night and the night before. All of the drinking and the cutting have to stop.” His tone was soft almost understanding. I allowed myself to look up at him. I knew that I had put him through hell lately and it showed. He looked completely defeated. This I felt awful about. I was having problems but it was my little brother and my friend that were being affected by it. I knew that Mikey was right.
    “I know. I’m sorry Mikey it’s just too difficult. I don’t know if I can.” In fact I was almost 100 per cent sure that I couldn’t. The cutting it was like and addiction. Once you started you couldn’t stop. You needed it to stay calm. Without it everything felt 10 times worse.
    “You have us to help you Gee. We just need to know why you do it.”
    “Because I feel in control. Because if I hurt myself then no one else can hurt me as bad.” That was my theory. The way my mind worked. I did feel in control when I did it. I was in control of my life and I could control if it ended today, tomorrow, next week. When things got really bad I could control how long it went on for. It would be so easy to end it if things got too hard. This didn’t mean that I was going to do it. It just meant that I could. I was pulled out of my thoughts by my little brother’s next question.
    “Who hurts you?”
    I knew, he knew, Frank knew yet he was still going to make me say it. My throat felt blocked and my eyes began to sting.
    “David” I said it barely above a whisper. Immediately I broke down. I just couldn’t do it anymore. I couldn’t keep the emotions back anymore. I was crying hard. My chest already hurt. Strong arms wrapped around me and I was pulled into a tight embrace. I felt Frank rubbing my back soothingly. I felt myself relax, I felt so safe with him. I didn’t understand it, how could somebody that I’ve only known for a couple of days have this effect on me?
    I continued to cry until there were just no more tears. I stayed where I was feeling a sense of comfort within Frank’s arms.

    A/N: Okay so i didnt realise how short this was. next one will be longer promise xx
  8. I like this story

    Update soon? Please?
  9. i really love this its so sweet (frerard) yet messed up(gerid)
    i hate that animal he calls his boyfriend
    brava cant wait to see whats next
  10. Viktoria Kaulitz <3

    Viktoria Kaulitz <3 New Member

    Hey sorry that i havent updated for a while. I've had a bit of a phase of hating everything that i wrote for this chapter. Im finally happy with it though so here it is. Im also really glad that you guys are liking this fic XD

    Chapter 12
    Gerard’s POV

    We had somehow managed to come to an agreement. If anything were to bother me or if I felt as though I was going to cut then I had to go and see Frank or Mikey. If one of them were to find a new cut then everything would be over. Mikey would tell our parents and then the police would be called about David. I couldn’t let the police be called.
    I had also come to the realization that I was falling for Frank more and more every day. Every moment I spent with him made me want him more. That made me feel awful. I was supposed to be in a relationship but I couldn’t stop thinking about another guy. I was the worst boyfriend ever, how could I mind cheat like that.
    I didn’t know how I was going to manage, how I was going to stop cutting. It’s like an addiction, once you start you become reliant on it and soon you can’t stop. Giving it up isn’t like quitting smoking or drinking. There’s no pills you can take or gum to chew that can numb the need. It’s all about will power and I didn’t have any. Frank and Mikey wouldn’t be able to help because they didn’t know what the f**k I was feeling. I felt completely alone.
    I was sitting in my room with my third or fourth can of beer and I wasn’t feeling anywhere near as calm as I usually would. I felt around in my pocket and found the small bag of pills. There were four left. I had taken two this morning before my little talk with Frank and Mikey and I had taken on in the afternoon. Swallowing them didn’t have anywhere near as much of an effect as snorting them had, I went up to the bathroom and crushed two of them.
    I tossed the bag down and closed one nostril. I bent down and sucked the powder up with the other, welcoming the familiar burning sensation. I stumbled back downstairs immediately passing out on my bed.

    Mikey’s POV

    I slammed my hand down on the alarm clock and shot out of bed faster than I could have blinked. I crept down to the basement and eased the door open. The smell of alcohol hit me as soon as I stepped into Gerard’s bedroom. Looking around I saw a few empty beer cans lying on the floor, one spilling its content out onto the carpet.
    I picked up one of the cans and threw it forcefully at my brother who was snoring softly. It hit him on the shoulder and he immediately jolted awake.
    “What the f**k was that for huh?” He shouted obviously not happy with the wakeup call.
    “What’s all this?” I asked gesturing around at the cans.
    “Hey in my defence you never said anything about the booze in our little convo yesterday.”
    “I f**king said that it had to stop.”
    “But you didn’t say when.”
    “Okay then. Now. It stops now or I’m gonna tell mom everything.” I shouted as I exited the room.
    I stormed upstairs and grabbed whatever I had been wearing the day before off of the floor in my room and walked to the bathroom. I turner the cold water on and splashed my face trying to calm myself down. I then walked over to the bath tub and turned the water on for a shower. I stripped down, shivering in the cold morning air and stepped under the water, grateful for the heat. I quickly washed before shutting off the water and towelling myself down.
    It was only when I was putting on my eyeliner that I noticed the small plastic bag laying on the counter. It contained two weirdly shaped blue pills and there was a small amount of blue powder visible under the mirror.

    Gerard’s POV

    poop why the f**k did he have to go straight to the bathroom, he was gonna see them there was no doubt about that. I could always go up there and say I needed a piss but I was probably already too late. Why did I have to be so f**king careless? I started pacing the kitchen and was ready to f**king break down by the time I heard the bathroom door open.
    I froze and waited for the chaos that was about to explode. How was I gonna explain this? Mikey walked into the kitchen and looked at me quizzically.
    “Gee why aint you dressed yet?”
    “I uh need to go to the bathroom.”
    “Well hurry up cos were gonna be late otherwise.”
    “Yeah kay. Be right back.”
    I ran up the stairs and burst into the bathroom looking frantically for the little blue pills. By the way he had acted I guessed that Mikey hadn’t seen them, but I couldn’t find them anywhere. Maybe I hadn’t left them in here after all. I couldn’t even remember how many I took so maybe there were none left. I was going have to pay Carl another visit today. He was gonna be pleased, twice in the space of two days. If I kept going at this rate he was going to be f**king loaded soon.

    Mikey’s POV.

    On the way to school I couldn’t keep my hand off of the bag. It was in my pocket and I was going to get Frank to take a look. I had no idea what it was but he might. I was acting all f**king cheery but I felt like poop. My brother could be a drug addict and the worst thing was he was f**king lying to me. Surely he knew that I knew. He was so jump when he saw me this morning it was obvious he was hiding something from me. He knew that I knew and he was basically lying to me.
  11. Gosh Gerard, you've been getting yourself into more trouble in every chapter. I wonder how he's gonna fix things...
    Poor Mikey
    Poor Frank
    Terrible David D:<

    Update soon <3
  12. Viktoria Kaulitz <3

    Viktoria Kaulitz <3 New Member

    Finally an update for you guys. Hope you like :)

    Chapter 13
    Franks POV

    “You say you found it in the bathroom and right after that Gerard ran up acting like uhhh?” I struggled to find the right words.
    “Worried.” Mikey finished for me. “He was acting really f**king worried.”
    “Lemme have a look at those.” I said extending my arm to take the pills from Mikey.
    “You know what they are?”
    “No clue. But it can’t be good.”
    I sighed and sunk to the ground. Mikey sat down beside me, head in his hands. I pitied the kid, he shouldn’t have to deal with all of this poop. I really wished that he would just tell his parents but we both knew that couldn’t happen. Firstly we had promised Gee that we wouldn’t tell and secondly, with everything that was going on with him we were worried that it could push him over the edge.
    I lit up a cigarette and inhaled deeply, feeling the smoke fill my lungs. I held it in for as long as I could before exhaling. I offered the smoke to Mikey who shook his head in refusal. We just sat there trying to figure out what the hell we were going to do.

    Gerard’s POV

    I walked out of Carls building holding two small bags. One was filled with cocaine and the other contained more Xanax . I sighed contently as I exited the alley. I turned and made my way back to the school. It was lunch when I arrived, so I had missed most of the day. I walked to the regular spot and stood waiting for David to show up.
    I must have only been stood there for about two minutes when Frankie arrived. I felt a small smile creep onto my face when I saw him. He didn’t speak to me just grabbed my arm and pulled me into one of the vacant classrooms.
    “What the f**k is this?” He demanded throwing a bag containing two small pills down on the table. So Mikey had found them this morning. For f**ks sake I had to get better at hiding things from people.
    “Well are you gonna f**king answer me?” He shouted.
    “Frankie I’m sorry. It was only one time I swear.” More lies I thought to myself.
    “I just don’t know what to do anymore Gee.” He said collapsing into a chair.
    I squatted down beside him and looked into his eyes. He looked so sad.
    “I’m so sorry. For what I’ve put you through.” I whispered to him.
    “It’s not me I’m worried about Gerard. It’s you and Mikey. This isn’t easy on that kid either.”
    I couldn’t speak. I just started to cry softly, something I seemed to be doing often. Frank put his arm around me and hugged me tight.
    “You’re gonna get through this Gee. It’s not going to be easy but I swear to god we are gonna help you with this”
    I looked up at his face and found myself leaning in. f**k I wanted to kiss him so bad. My lips met his and he didn’t resist. I pulled him down onto the floor and the kiss became more intense. Our tongues were exploring each other’s mouths hungrily and he was tugging on my hair, pulling me closer. I slid my hand up under his shirt and ran it up and down the soft skin of his torso.
    He rolled on top of me and pinned me down by my shoulder. I let out a small giggle and felt him smile. Thing started to heat up more and he was grinding against me, causing me to jerk my hips up. He worked my shirt up over my head and I started to unbuckle his belt.
    “You kinky bastard. In a classroom? Really?” He said against my neck.
    “Don’t deny the fact than you want it more than me.” I giggled.
    He started to trail kisses down my body stopping just before my jeans. He reached up and kissed me hard against the lips. That’s where everything went wrong.
    Franks POV
    “What the f**k is going on here then?” Shouted a low, menacing voice.
    I looked up to see a big son of a witch in the doorway. I had seen this guy enough to know that it was David. f**k I hated him.
    “Well? Am I going to get an answer you stupid little wh**e?” He spat at Gerard.
    That was it for me, I wasn’t going to let him hurt Gerard anymore.
    “Don’t f**king talk to him like that you bastard.”
    He turned his glare at me “Or what?”
    I didn’t answer, just stood there. I knew exactly what was going to happen. He walked over and aimed a punch at my stomach. I dodged and grabbed his arm, twisting it behind his back. I knew that with one small movement I could snap the bone and if he tried to do anything, that’s exactly what was going to happen.
    He seemed aware that I was at an advantage and stayed still.
    “If you speak to him like that again I’ll f**king kill you. Not just hurt you, actually kill you. Understand?” I whispered into his ear.
    He just nodded.
    “Get the f**k out.”
    I watched him leave and then turned to face Gerard. I never expected that creep to sneak back in when my back was turned. He spun me round and grabbed my throat, holding me up in the air. I couldn’t breathe and pretty soon I was out cold.
    Gerard’s POV
    I watched in horror as Frankie went limp in David’s grasp. That was when something snapped inside of me. He could hurt me all he wanted, but not Frankie. I wasn’t going to let him hurt my Frankie. With a cry I launched myself at him. He looked completely shocked as my fist connected with his jaw causing him to fall back onto the floor.
    I straddled his chest and started to punch him in the face repeatedly. I was letting out all of the anger that had been building up inside of me and it felt so f**king good. His face was bleeding but he was still attempting to fight back. He was trying to grab me and throw me off. I was determined not to let him win. With one final punch he went limp and I scrambled off of him and over to Frankie.
    I started to run my hand through his hair. I was going to protect him, if David were to wake up before me and Frank left, I would do the same thing again and again. He wasn’t going to hurt us.
    “Gee. That was pretty awesome.”
    I looked up to see Mikey in the doorway. He looked almost proud.
    “Thanks Mikey.” I said smiling at him.
    “Don’t think this gets you out of trouble.”
    Frank moaned and started to stir. Mikey threw me my shirt, hitting me in the face with it.
    “Put that back on we're leaving as soon as Frank comes around.”

    Soon the three of us were walking out of the door and heading home. I could have sworn that I heard David mutter something as I walked past him. It sounded like “This isn’t over.” And it sent chills down my spine.

    A/N: so what did you think?? x
  13. It was AMAZING :D
  14. ok i loved that chapter soo much
    and absolutely in a classroom frankie
    david i hate you so much its not even funny
  15. Viktoria Kaulitz <3

    Viktoria Kaulitz <3 New Member

    Glad you guys liked that one. :) Hers the next for you x

    Chapter 14
    Mikey’s POV

    “So what have you got to say for yourself?” I demanded looking Gerard in the face.
    He couldn’t keep eye contact with me and looked down at the floor.
    “I don’t know. I’m sorry Mikey.”
    “Have you got anymore? And I want the truth.”
    He shook his head “No.”
    “I promise.”
    “How long has this been going on?”
    “It was the first time.”
    “Gerard we only want to help you. I know it might seem as though everyone’s against you but that’s not the case.” Frank spoke for the first time since we started talking.
    “I know Frankie. “
    “Okay. Now who say’s we leave off of this now and go watch a movie?” I said trying to add some cheer into the air.
    “Yeah okay. What we gonna watch?”
    “Hmm Dawn of The Dead.” I answered enthusiastically.
    It was one of my favourite films of all time and I could watch it over and over.
    “Again, really?” I heard Gerard groan as we walked into the livingroom.
    “Get over it dumbass.” I laughed.
    Gerard and Frank sat on the couch and I stuck the DVD into the player. I sat there engrossed in the film. It was only when it was over that I noticed what was going on
    over the other side of the room.

    Gerard’s POV

    Franks arms had wrapped around me and were pulling me closer to him. There was only about twenty minutes left of the film and I was pretty bored. I spun round and straddled him as he wrapped his arms around my shoulders.
    I rested my lips softly against his and he started to kiss me hungrily. I slid my tongue into his mouth and started running my fingers through his hair. His hands were running up and down my body and came to rest on my butt.
    “f**ks sake you two. Go take a cold shower or something.”
    “I can’t help it if I’m horny Mikey.” I said innocently.
    “I can help you if your horny Gee.” Frank said seductively.
    “Not in here you cant.” Snapped Mikey
    Me and Frankie burst out into a fit of giggles at the serious tone of Mikey’s voice. He just stared at us.
    “poop I gotta go.” Exclaimed Frankie looking up at the clock.
    “You can stay here if you want. Moms outta town for a couple of weeks.”
    “Not tonight Gee. Maybe another night.” He said apologetically.
    “Yeah and I’m going to make sure I’m not in the house that night.”
    We all laughed and I got up to show Frankie out.
    “Call me as soon as you get home okay?”
    “Yeah okay. You alright?”
    “Yeah I just wanna know you get home okay.”
    “Alright. Speak to you soon.”
    “Kay, goodnight.”
    “Night Gee.” He said before placing a soft kiss on my lips.
    I stood there and watched as he left. I decided then that I stank and needed a shower. I shut the door and made my way to the bathroom.
    Mikey’s POV
    I waited before Gerard had gone to the bathroom and I could hear the water running. I walked to the front door and snuck out silently. f**k I needed a smoke. I had to sneak around cos I knew Gee would kill me if he found out. I sat on the porch step and lit up, grateful for the feeling that washed over me as the smoke filled my arms.

    Gerard’s POV

    I stood under the hot water preparing myself for what I was going to do. I breathed in and out a few times thinking about where no one would notice it. The events of that day had me really worked up and I was craving it so bad anyway.
    I pressed the small blade against my leg and dragged it down from my knee to my ankle. I did it many more times until my lower leg was covered in tiny red scratches. I didn’t think it was enough so I made a few new slits on my forearm before moving up to my shoulder and dragging the blade down my bicep a few times. The last thing I did was make a few cuts in my hip, finally I felt as if I had done enough and wasn’t wanting it so badly anymore.
    I stood leaning against the tile wall of the shower before shutting the water off. I dryed off and looked at myself in the mirror. The skin around the cuts had already turned red and swollen. It stood out against my white skin.
    I nkew that I should feel bad about what I had just done. I should feel ashamed and as though I had let the guys down. I didn’t. Instead I felt happy. I had a sense of contentment . I liked doing it, I needed to do it. I put my pyjamas on, long sleeved of course. I was so happy it was winter now. It meant that the cuts would be so much easier to hide.
    I climbed up the stairs to check on Mikey. He was putting his school stuff into his back pack for the next day.
    “You okay there Gee?” He asked me confused.
    “Yeah. You ready for bed now?”
    “Nearly. You know im really proud of what you did earlier. You stood up to him Gee. That took some guts.”
    “Yeah well I think I have finally realised what a dick that guy is.”
    “Took ya long enough.”
    “Goodnight Mikey.” I chuckled
    “Night Gee.”
    As I left I flicked the light off.
    “You twat. Turn it back on.”
    “Do it yourself.” I called back as I made my way down to the basement with a smile on my face.
  16. Freiheit483

    Freiheit483 Member

    Great, poor Gerard Keep it coming !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! xx
  17. Viktoria Kaulitz <3

    Viktoria Kaulitz <3 New Member

    Chapter 15
    Gerard’s POV
    The next morning was hell. I practically had to drag myself out of bed, even in my medicated slumber I had failed to settle and now it was hitting me hard. I winced as I stretched, feeling the burning pain as the scabs on my arm and leg split. poop. I had completely forgotten about what I did last night, Mikey was gonna kill me if he found out. I looked through my wardrobe for a decent hoodie to wear today.
    With clothes in hand I made my way to the bathroom, being as quiet as possible so I didn’t wake Mikey. I shut the door and turned the hot tap on, watching the sink fill with warm water. I stripped down and looked at myself in the mirror. The cuts were deep and I knew they would take a while to heal. Some had bled in the night and were crusted with dried blood, while others were extremely sore and a nasty red colour. My arm was burning hot and hurt like a witch. With a sigh I turned back to the sink, I washed quickly and brushed my teeth before pulling on my clothes and darting over to Mikeys room.
    I jumped on the bed and screamed directly into his ear. He woke up startled and fell right out of bed.
    “Ahh my butt. What the f**k is wrong with you Gerard?”
    “I dunno. Probably the stress of living with you is making me go crazy.” I giggled.
    “Yeah f**king crazy’s the word,” He saw me grinning widely at him. “Weird f**ker.” He muttered.
    “Hurry up poop for brains or were gonna be late.” I said as I walked out of the room and down the stairs.
    I was halfway through my first cup of coffee when there was a knock at the door. I answered it cautiously and was happy to see Frankie smiling brightly at me.
    “Hey Gee.” He said before pulling me into a tight embrace and kissing me hard on the lips. I had to work really hard on not pushing him away or crying out when he hugged me as his arm rested right over some of the worst cuts on my arm. He seemed to sense my discomfort though and held me at arms distance, looking into my eyes, a serious expression o his face.
    “What did you do?”
    “What are you talking about sweetie?” I asked as innocently as I could.
    “Don’t f**k about with me Gerard. I know what you’ve done.”
    “I don’t know what-“
    Before I could finish my sentence he punched me hard in the bicep. Red hot pain seared through me and I cried out loudly, sliding down to the floor. I clutched my arm as tears started rolling down my face and Frank looked down at me disappointed.
    “For f**ks sake Gee. I thought you were through with all of that.”
    “I never said that I would stop. I said I’d try. Well guess what Frankie I did try and it was too f**king hard.” I had started to shout as I ended my sentence.
    “Why didn’t you talk to me then? Or Mikey? If something’s bothering you Gee then-“
    That’s the thing Frankie. I don’t know what’s bothering me. So how can I talk about it?”
    “Gee calm down. It doesn’t matter if you don’t know. We can figure it out and talk about it. There is no need to do something like this,” He gestured at my arm, “It’s just stupid.”
    “So dealing with your emotions and coping with poop is stupid?”
    “No. But cutting yourself is.”
    “Well that’s my way of dealing with thing Frankie. It’s a f**king coping mechanism. You just don’t get it do you?”
    “No I don’t. So why don’t you explain it to me.” He said softly.
    “I don’t know how it’s difficult. Later maybe.”
    “Okay. Later.” He sounded slightly disappointed.
    “Don’t tell Mikey.” I pleaded
    “He doesn’t need to. Mikey already knows.”
    I felt my heart break when I heard my brothers voice. How long had he been there listening? He looked so sad. His voice was quiet and broken and I could tell he was close to tears.
    “Mikey I’m sorry.”
    “Yeah sure you are.” He wouldn’t even look at me.
    “Mikey listen I-“
    “Save it Gerard. I don’t wanna hear it. Come on, were going to be late.” He muttered as he walked past me and out of the door.
    My eyes stung and I blinked back the tears. I hated seeing Mikey like that. I knew how much I was hurting him but I couldn’t stop. I didn’t feel anything yesterday when I did it but now I felt as if cutting was the worst thing I had ever done, but at that very second I felt the huge need to do it again. I felt sick and didn’t move for a few moments. Eventually I got to my feet.
    “Come on Gee.” Frank held his hand out to me.
    “Uhm in a sec. I need to use the bathroom. Go ahead I’ll catch up with you guys.”
    I turned to go to the stairs but Frank grabbed the hood of my sweater and pulled me out the front door.
    “Im not that f**king stupid Gee. Get moving.” Now he sounded angry.
    Great, so Frank and Mikey were completely pissed with me. Mikey was seriously upset because of me and wasn’t gonna talk to me for a while, that much was obvious. As Frank dragged me to school I had the thought that this day could not get worse in any way. Oh how wrong I was. It was about to get a whole lot worse.
  18. nice cliff hanger :3

  19. Viktoria Kaulitz <3

    Viktoria Kaulitz <3 New Member

    Hey glad you think so Heres the next update sorry it's short.

    Chapter 16

    Frank’s POV

    As I entered the school building I knew right away that something wasn’t right. Angry glares were thrown in our direction and I could tell that they were focused, not at Mikey and me but at Gerard. He squirmed uncomfortably under the gazes and walked closer to me and Mikey.
    Mikey was tense, returning the glares. I felt Gerard claw at my hand and grabbed it squeezing tight. He wasn’t in a great state of mind as it was and at this point I was thinking that anything was capable of pushing him over the edge.
    We carried on walking down the hall towards home room.
    “What’s going on?” I hissed at Mikey.
    “No f**king idea, Gerard?”
    He didn’t seem to hear, just kept looking forward, walking slowly. I exchanged an alarmed look with Mikey before he turned down one of the other corridors. We continued into our classroom, not saying a word the whole time.
    “Gerard, you f**king sicko. What the f**k is your problem? How the f**k could you do that to David?” shouted one of the guys near the door.
    Gerard’s head snapped up and in a heartbeat he was right up in the guy’s face, forcing him back against the wall.
    “What the f**k are you talking about?” He spat. His voice was full of venom and there was something burning behind his eyes.
    “We all know what you did to him yesterday. How you beat the poop out of him. Your own boyfriend. It’s not the first time you’ve done it either.”
    I shot over and pulled Gerard away. I could see his arm tensing and knew he was gonna sock the f**ker right in the face.
    I pulled him down into a chair and we sat there in silence as a thought flew through my mind. David had twisted everything to make it look as though Gerard was the one that beat him. The screeching of a chair on the tile pulled me out of my mind and I looked up to see Gerard running through the door.
    “For f**ks sake Gerard, you bastard.” I muttered as I chased after him.

    Gerard’s POV

    I was gonna f**king get him. He was not going to get away with this. After all the poop he had put me through, after everything he had done, he had the audacity to say it was my fault. I was not going to let him do this anymore.
    I ran down the hallway counting the doors until I found David’s homeroom. I stormed in through the door, slamming it shut behind me.
    “David you sick son of a witch. What the f**k do you think you’re playing at? I can’t stand for your poop anymore.” I yelled as I pushed my nose right up against his.
    “Gerard Way get out of my classroom right now.” Shouted the teacher from behind me.
    “Shut the f**k up.” I screamed not tearing my eyes off of David. “Care to explain?”
    “Gerard please don’t do this. Not in front of everyone. We can talk later.” He said quietly.
    “Oh please don’t pretend to be so f**king innocent you lying f**ker.”
    “Gerard please.”
    That was it I couldn’t stand there and listen to this anymore. I threw myself at him knocking him to the floor. I managed to get a few good hits on his cheek before I felt strong arms wrap around my body and pull me out of the room.
    “Gerard what the hell?” Mikey was looking at me with concern in his eyes. Frank was standing by my side and I realised he must have been the one to pull me out of the room.
    “You realise that you basically confirmed everything they had been told just now right?” Frank asked quietly.
    “poop” I muttered running a hand through my hair.
    “Mr Way what is going on?” I turned to see the principle walking angrily towards me.
    “Ohm… well…”
    “I just had a phone call from Mrs Brooke and she is very angry. You were very rude to her and just assaulted another student. I’m sorry Gerard but I have heard about what is going on with you and David.” He looked disgusted as he said it, damn homophobe. “I can’t have people like that in my school. I’m afraid I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”
    With that he walked away.
    “f**king brilliant.” I yelled as I walked towards the exit, leaving Frank and Mikey standing in the hallway.
    man i hate them i just yelled at my now x-friend because he insulted gays
    imma kick that principals anus now
    and yes i know im a desturbing person

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