Gerards POV I missed him. There was no denying that. It was like an ache I felt in my chest everytime I was near him. Thats one thing I didn't understand. How can you be standing right next to someone and miss them so much? We hadn't spoken in months unless it was necessary, but we stuck together still, for the band. We had fought before, plenty of times, but never this bad and never this long. It had gotten to the point where I wasn't sure nor did I care what we were even fighting about. But I was stubborn. I'd been stubborn, I didn't want to be the first to give in and neither did he. We were touring Europe now and I was with him every day. I tried really hard to stay mad at him, but every time I looked at him I couldn't help but think of every little thing I missed about him. He used to do the cutest things, even when they were annoying he made it cute. He used to climb into the bunk and lay on top of me and start poking and prodding me and whispering in my ear to wake me up. At the time it was the most annoying thing in the world, but now I wished more then anything to be woken up that way. It was after the show we were playing in Germany and I was watching him sign with the fans. I saw that smile and heard that giggle that was never directed at me anymore. He was talking to a young girl and I couldn't help but glance down at his lips. My mind flashed back to the kiss. I wanted to grown, I wanted to kiss those lips again. I had stopped denying along time ago that I had fallen in love with him. Instead I chose to ignore it. That may be why I'm so stubborn now, I figure if I can push him away and make him not want to be around me, then I can get over him. Its not working though I can see he misses me just as much as I miss him. I'm better at hiding things then he is. When we are sitting in the bus I can feel his eyes on me, and whenever I sneak a glance I can see the misery written all over his face. It kills me. I don't know why I'm still doing this to him, to myself, because I don't want too. Mikey comes up and puts his arms around my shoulders. â€œyour watching him againâ€ He doesn't ask, he tells me. I nod my head. â€œWhy are you doing this Gerard? If you apologized or even try to talk to him, you know he'd fall at your feet, he misses you. He's your best friend are you really willing to give that up?â€ Mikey was smart, for being my little brother he sure knew how to take care of me. I shook my head, I didn't want to lose him, just the thought of that sent a wave of pain throughout my body, Mikey saw that. â€œTell him Gerard, if there's a time to let him know before he give up on youâ€ With that Mikey removed his arm and walked over to talk to Ray. I turned to look back at Frank. This time he was looking at me, and for the first time in months we let ours meet. For a second I wanted to drop all my pride and run over and kiss him senseless. 'later' I mouthed to him. He nodded, he looked nervous, happy and upset all at the same time. For the rest of the night I signed autographs trying to pass the time. I didn't know what I was going to say, I didn't know what I was planning on doing, all I knew was both of us needed this to be over. Mikey was right, it wasn't worth losing him, and I couldn't handle the thought of it. When there was literally nothing left to do, I decided it was time to stop stalling. I gestured to frank to come with me and we walked inside the tour bus. The guys were getting a bite to eat, it was just us right now. I'm not gonna lie and say it wasn't awkward because it was. We sat in silence for a long time both of us caught up in what was being left unsaid. After a couple minutes of silence Frank stood up. â€œI'm not going to sit in here when were not solving anythingâ€ He got up to walk away and I grabbed his arm. â€œWhat do you expect me to do Frank, I'm trying!â€ Frank actually looked mad. The last time I'd seen him mad instead of sad was when we had gotten into a screaming fight, which had led us to ignore eachother. We didn't want to fight and cause problems with the band so we distanced ourselves. I remember what the fight was about to. He said my girlfriend was changing me and that he didn't want me to change and he wanted the old me back. Right to his face I told him to f**k off and stay out of my buisness. I had never talked to Frank like that in all the years I'd known him, and it had hurt him and he fired back saying â€œGerard get off your f**king high horseâ€ and had walked away. **Franks POV** â€œWhat do you expect me to do Frank, Im tryingâ€ I felt anger rising in the bit of my stomach and running through my veins. If he was trying he wasn't doing it very hard. â€œGerard you need to figure a lot of things out! If this is who you want to be, then me and you are band mates and thats it, there isn't a relationship between us anymore. Before one minute I'd think you'd want me, then you'd go running to her, you can't do that to a person Gerardâ€ I had shocked myself by saying that, I didn't mean for it to come out. I never wanted him to know how I feel, he was the only one that couldn't see it, Jamia even noticed, and she was well prepared for the day Gerard wanted me the way I wanted him. I wanted to run, thats what I wanted to get the hell away from him. My anger had diminished and I was now feeling incredibly uncomfortable. I met his eyes and he was staring up at me with a blank expression. I tried to sit still and face him and wait for a reaction, after a long time of not getting one my self control was slipping away and I felt myself moving towards the door and out of the bus. I pulled my hoodie over my head and shoved my hands into my pockets and started walking. I wasn't sure where I was going but I needed to get away. I heard my cell ring, I pulled my phone out and saw Jamia's number. â€œHeyâ€ I said weakly picking up the phone. â€œYou okay baby?â€ she asked. I hesitated before telling her the story. â€œYou didn't give him a chance to respond?â€ she said after I had finished. I told her no. â€œIf he feels the same way Frank, you need to be with him and not worry about me, I know how happy you'd beâ€ she said sounding like she was about to cry. I loved her so f**king much. But she was right, I'd be the happiest with him, and I couldn't help the fact that I loved him so much. â€œI love youâ€ I said gently, and that was the truth and she knew it. â€œI love you 2 Frank, no matter what happens though, I think its time that we end thisâ€ she said calmly. I knew she was right. It hurt, but I also felt relieved. We talked for a little bit longer, I argued for awhile saying she would keep the house, I didn't need it, when the tour was over I was going to get my stuff, and I'd stay with Bob or something. Right at the moment I realized I really should be going back. I had walked far enough from the tour bus that I couldn't see it, but I knew exactly where it was. I sat down on the curb and lit a cigarette, I'd walk back after this. I was so lost in thought sitting there that I didn't notice someone sit next to me. â€œheyâ€ he said gently. I nodded my head at him and passed over my cigarette which he gratefully took a drag from. We were back into that quiet thing that made me so damn uncomfortable. I fidgeted with my hands, I couldn't get away this time. â€œI'm sorryâ€ I sunddenly hear from next to me. I turn to look at him, and despite all the tension and anger that had been going on between us my heart broke when I looked at him and saw he'd been crying. I saw him hesitate for a minute then open his arms. I wanted to let out a sob as I fell into them. I buried my head into his shoulder and he leaned his head on mine. I was a little surprised when he grabbed my shoulders and pushed me back so I was facing him and there was distance between us. â€œI'm sorry, I did change, and it was for her, at the same time I did it because of you too, I didn't want to feel anything for you, its scary poop man, and I kept thinking, what would he thing? What would the band thing, Mikey made it clear to me today though Frank, I fell in love with you a long time ago, despite everything I did to keep it from happening, and I do want youâ€ I felt my body go numb with his words. Was this actually happening. His hands were still on my shoulders and he gently pulled me towards him. Our lips connected and I wrapped my arms around him needing him to be closer. I had wanted this for so long, hearing the fact that he had too, just made me want him even more.