Uncomfortably Numb

Discussion in 'Completed Fan Fictions' started by MarieArt, Apr 9, 2012.

  1. MarieArt

    MarieArt Champion of Losers

    Chp 8

    As promised, a slightly longer chapter. I actually had enough time to type one up. :)

    By noon the next day he had yet to prove to me that he did not change. He was still asleep; Gerard normally woke up at the butt crack of dawn. Standing in his kitchen, I sipped on a cup of coffee and glanced around. The apartment did have potential, so that is one thing that has not changed. That man could see beauty in the ugliest of things—speaking of which, he never answered me the night before.

    A blank expression rushed over his face, “What?”

    “Do you love me?” I emphasized each syllable.

    He pondered on it for a seconds and cleared his throat, “I need to shower…” He stared at me for a few seconds before he wondered off.

    I glared at the chair next to the window and took another sip of coffee, “Maybe Frank was feeding me bullshit… How could Gerard love someone like me anyway? I’m a pessimistic, jobless ogre that the world pissed on.” I sat my empty cup in the sink and watched Gerard stumble out of his bedroom with a beanie on. “Since when do you wear…? You dyed your hair and didn’t like it, didn’t you?”

    “Shut up,” he groaned pulling at small wrinkled hat. “And yes, F.Y.I. I’m trying to get my brown back.”

    “And F.Y.I. going from bleach blond to brown it’ll come out in spots, sugar,” I retorted as he approached the sink. “Let me see.” I tugged at the black beanie and revealed dark brown hair, “I see nothing wrong with it. You’re just used to crazy hair colors and when you finally have something normal, you do not like it.”

    He gnawed at his lip as his cheeks grew pink, “I’ll ignore the fact that you’re right.”

    I gently scratched between his shoulder blades and smiled, “You proved me wrong within ten seconds.”

    He grew silent and poured him a mug of coffee, and hopped up on the counter. He must have fallen into deep thought as he sat there staring at the refrigerator.


    “Sorry, I’m just trying to wake up,” he muttered taking a drink of his coffee.

    “Take your time.” I stepped into the living area and seated myself next the window.

    Things were quiet for a little while. I silently watched the lunch time rush outside while Gerard scooted around his apartment and changed out of his pajamas, even kept the horrid beanie off of his head—normally, I say nothing about hats of any kind of that one in particular irked me. Eventually, he woke up and made himself comfortable in front of me in the floor. Still quiet, but something seemed different yet the same about his company. He was not as tense or emotional as he was.

    “It might be a shitty apartment, but the view isn’t that bad.”

    “It isn’t that bad now that it is well lit,” I muttered staring out of the window.

    “I cleaned up the mess.”

    I glanced around the room and did notice the pile of bottles and cans were gone, “That’s a good step. I was thinking this morning that you saw potential in this apartment; though you see beauty in the ugliest of things.”

    “And to answer your question, yes.” He tensed up a little bit and turned three shades of pale.

    “Yes what?” I gave him my full attention not knowing what he was talking about.

    “I do love you,” he murmured lacing his fingers together. “It just took me a while to come to terms with it. I just saw you with all of those other guys and often wondered what you would see in someone like me. That is why I left; in other words, Frank was telling the truth.”

    “Frank isn’t always full of poop.”

    He smirked, “True.”

    “And I love you too,” I muttered looking out of the window finding it hard to even look at him. “I often wondered the same thing, what you would see in a girl like me.”

    He stuck out his hand and gave me a shy smile, “I’m Gerard.”

    I giggled and took his hand, “Aubrey. Nice to meet you, Gerard.”

    “I’ve been gone a while, but I cannot lie and say that I’ve had feelings for you for a while.” He muttered before he grew serious again. “I just didn’t want to hurt our friendship by telling you that.”

    I cupped the side of his face, “I’ve been waiting on you to admit it and I’ve also waited on myself to admit it.”

    A warm smile formed on his face as he placed his hand on top of mine. Taking in a deep breath, he stood up and dusted the wrinkles out of his clothes, “How about we go out for lunch?”
  2. Finally. Haha. Why do I get the feeling it's not that easy, somethings gunna happen...

    And I hate that I'm probably right.

    Another chapter soon I hope?
  3. A long chater!!

    'I’m a pessimistic, jobless ogre..' -- This...!!!

    In general it was adorable. The whole story has this warm atmosphere to it, which is really nice because I just woke up and reading this is such an amazing way to start the day, so thank you!

    I like that Aubrey isn't bitching. A lot of girls would be very bitchy in situations like that. I like her character. I like that she can handle things on her own.

    About Gerard, I'm still wondering and suspicious and confused, but I trust you with bringing out what happened while he was gone at the right moment. Whatever bad and ugly things happened to him.. I'm curious.

    Can't wait for another chaper,
  4. kadoodle

    kadoodle crazy cat lady Staff Member

    Loving your work. This seems quite melancholy, I love the gentleness of your writing. You seem to want to protect your characters.

    *waits for update*
  5. MarieArt

    MarieArt Champion of Losers

    Chp 9

    A familiar diner a few blocks away called our names as we wandered down the street. Our hands grazed every once and a while, but neither of us paid any attention to it. We would glance at each other and never put any thought into what look we conjured up at that point in time. It seemed weird to me. Sure, I knew him. Hell, I knew every single thing about him, but he still finds ways to make me feel like we just met. He opened the door and let me walk in before he did, then pulled a chair out for me at one of the tables near the window. As friends, we seated ourselves at the bar, but as whatever we were then, we apparently were going to sit at the table.

    “What would you like to drink?” the waitress asked pulling out a small notepad.

    “Unsweetened tea,” I replied as Gerard sat across from me.

    “Uh, water.” He scooted himself in as she scurried to get our drinks. “Unsweetened? You’re being daring.”

    “There’s sugar at the table; I’d rather use the real stuff that the artificial stuff they put in it back there," I responded.

    “Makes sense.” He folded his hands on the table and sighed. “So…”


    He forced his eyes to meet mine, “Are we a thing now or are we just friends?”

    “I thought you knew?” I muttered retrieving a packet of sugar from the small box.

    “No, do you?”

    “No,” I responded lightly as the waitress put our drinks on the table and asked if we were ready to order. “Uh, not yet. Give us a few more moments.” She nodded and wandered off to check on the rest of her customers. I leaned towards him, “Do you want us to be more? I mean, it’s pretty clear that we have feelings for one another…”

    “Aubrey--,” a male voice shrieked from the other side of the room.

    “Adam--,” I said with less enthusiasm. The guy the voice belonged to approached the table and hugged me. “How are you, baby-doll?”

    “I’m good. How are you?! I haven’t seen in you a couple of months,” he stated releasing me. The end of that sentence hit a slant when he noticed Gerard sitting there. “Hey Gerard, I haven’t seen you since high school! How are you, buddy?!”

    Gerard conjured up a fake smile and shook his hand, “I’m pretty good. How are you?”

    “Good, good. Did you ever get over the locker thing?” Adam retorted playfully punching his shoulder. “I was kidding, ya know.”

    “Yeah,” Gerard lied still smiling at him.

    Adam gave his attention back to me and kissed my cheek, “See ya around!”

    When he was out of ear shot, Gerard kept the smile on his face, “What was that about?”

    “We had coffee a while back…”

    “Coffee? Two months ago?” Gerard retorted.

    “I ran into him at the coffee shop and it was just coffee,” I stated grabbing his hands that were still folded on the table. “I promise. Hell, I had coffee with Frank once or twice a week.”

    “That kiss on the cheek said something more.”

    “You know how he was in high school…” I muttered rubbing his knuckles with my thumbs.

    “Yeah, shoving me in lockers and all over you,” he murmured. “You know what? I’m not really that hungry.”

    “Gerard, ignore Adam. You can’t be jealous over something that happened eight years ago, sweetheart. You’re a better man than that jackass anyway.” He glanced outside the window. “Gerard, are you going to treat your girlfriend like that?” He looked back at me with a puzzled expression, “Yes, girlfriend.”

    “What if…”

    “If it doesn’t work out we can still be friends, right?”
    This chapter is definitely based on a true experience.
  6. Chemical 30

    Chemical 30 Just 'That' Girl

    Yay! About time haah :)
    Great update can't wait for more
  7. Neither can I! And personal experience, geez, tell me about it. Almost exactly the same happened to me. Sadly it didn't end well. But hoping for more from you soon!
  8. MarieArt

    MarieArt Champion of Losers

    Chp 10

    Nervously, I shifted my weight from one foot to the other. He wandered pass me with his hands shoved in his pockets. We had another little run in with the Pest, who called Gerard out in front of the whole diner. I did not know what to say, I mean, some of the words he used were terrible. No one on this Earth deserved that.

    We had finally ordered and received our food when the door burst open. Pest stood there in all of his glory, half-naked—no shirt—and he glanced around the room looking for something. “You!”

    Gerard stared at him with wide eyes and murmured, “Me?”

    “Yes, you!” he shouted letting everyone know their business. He stormed over to our table and shouted, “You’re the reason poop like this happens to me! You good for nothing piece of poop! I used to look up to you for trying to better yourself, but you’re no better than me, scumbag!” Pest went to punch him when the manager forced him out the back door, then shortly asked us to leave. Pest said more things, but my mind did not want to conjure up mental images.

    I feared the first words that would exit his lips as we found ourselves awkwardly standing in my living room with several bags belonging to Gerard. I bit my lower lip and started to walk towards my bedroom, “Aubrey, wait.”

    I stopped and turned towards him, “Yeah?”

    “I-I’m sorry… I’m pretty sure you’re embarrassed to be seen with me.”

    I didn’t want to say No because it was embarrassing; lying would make it worse. “Gerard, we all have things and people in our lives who-“

    “Don’t try to make me feel better about myself because I don’t think it’ll work,” he muttered unable to look at me. “I’m going to bed.” He wandered towards the guest bedroom and I couldn’t stop him. Nothing I could say would make him feel… Like a human being. I wasn’t even going to mention that it was only six o’clock.

    I flopped down on the couch and looked around the room. My apartment was completely different from his. Mine was clean, but lived in; his was lived in by hundreds of people and never cleaned. Combing my fingers through my hair, I stared at the floor and his bags.

    “Wonderful first day,” I muttered taking in a deep breath. “Apparently, we don’t know everything about each other.”

    “Maybe we picked the wrong time?” he stated. I never noticed that he came back out of his room and sniffled finding it hard not to cry by that time. “I just came in for my pajamas.”

    “I keep thinking if I wasn’t so stupid, you wouldn’t have gone through all of that to begin with.” By this time I was sobbing.

    He softly sat down next to me on the couch, “Don’t blame yourself.”

    I felt his hand rubbing my knee and it made me feel worse, “See, that’s what I’m f**king talking about!” I swatted his hand away and shot up from the couch. “You treat me like royalty and all I can whine about is me!” I noticed the hole in the knee of his jeans, along with a few scrapes peeping out of it, “Like, I’ve noticed that scrape and never asked, ‘Oh Gerard, honey, how’d you get that cut?’ but it never dawned on me that I should be that caring about someone that I haven’t seen in two months!”

    His brow furrowed, “Aubrey, sit down.” I obediently seated myself back on the couch as he continued, “Listen, you’re not a horrible human being… I am. Do you want me to complain about myself? I can. Well, the first night I spent in that apartment, Pest invited himself in. He said he stayed there all the time, so I didn’t want to push him out. He said I looked sad and told me to take something. He gave me a small pill and told me to sleep it off, so I did. I woke up around four o’clock the next day with him lying next to me…” He cleared his throat as his voice grew shaky, “The scrapes. Those are from three weeks ago. Pest and I got into it because I didn’t want anything else to do with him. I had been ‘sober’ for a week and I figured getting rid of him would be the next step I needed to take… We got into a fight and he ended up dragging me down the street. I had to throw the shirt away, but the jeans didn’t look too bad after that.”

    It took me a second to realize my tears no longer mattered to me, “Why didn’t you come back?”

    “Come crawling back looking like I had gone through a meat grinder? I couldn’t.”

    “A meat grinder? He…”

    “Beat the living poop out of me and took care of me… I was actually unable to crawl back,” he snorted.

    “How’s that funny?” I asked crossing my arms.

    “Nerves. I learned to laugh off pain, I guess,” he replied lightly. “So, now you know some of what happened to me while I was gone.”

    “Some? More happened to you?” I reluctantly asked.

    “Yeah, but those are for another day,” he stated patting my knee. He leaned in like he was going for my lips then detoured to my ear. He softly whispered, “Do you remember which bag my PJ’s are in?” I swatted his leg as he let out a giggle. “I try to play sexy and I get abused?”

    I laughed too, “Sexy?!” I crossed my eyes and tried to mimic his whisper, “Do you know where my PJ’s are?”

    “Okay, I gotta work on sexy.”

    I snorted and kissed his cheek, “I like you just the way you are.”
    The "Do you remember which bag my PJ's are in?" line was pulled from my boyfriend. It was too cute/funny not to add to this update.
  9. Awwweh! The ending..

    Gerard's actions during the time he was gone are slightly freaking me out. I'm more than interested to know more though!

    Their relationships is.. adorable. I really like how slowly this is picking up it's pace. It is very interesting to read and your writing is amazing!

    On the edge of my seat to read more,
  10. Chemical 30

    Chemical 30 Just 'That' Girl

    Poor Gee :(
    I'm glad he finally told some things though :)
  11. kadoodle

    kadoodle crazy cat lady Staff Member

    Oh my goodness! That was a big eye opener, I must say.
  12. MarieArt

    MarieArt Champion of Losers

    Chp 11

    As time went on, I truly put some thought into whether we should have stayed friends instead being together as a couple. We never acted any different; being so used to each other’s existence we acted more like a couple when we were just friends. No kissing other than innocent pecks on the cheek, so nothing went any further. It had been a month since he moved in and we seemed to be nothing more than friends. How on Earth could this change? Neither of us made any moves on the other one with the exception of his sexy attempts which have proven themselves to be nothing more than something cute.

    One night at dinner, I cleared my throat after playing with my food for almost an hour, “Gerard?”

    He glanced up at me from his nearly clean plate and shot his trademark half smile in my direction, “Yes?”

    “I… Do you…” I did not own a heart that could break things easily. “How’s your food?”

    “Good. Are you okay? You haven’t even taken a bite of yours,” he stammered nervously. “What’s wrong?”

    “Gerard, I just feel like,” I paused in order to grasp some kind of sentence that was not cliché. “We’re still friends.”

    He set his fork down and combed his fingers through his hair, “Honestly, I’ve felt the same way for a few days.”

    I’ve felt this way for a month. “I just… Are we boyfriend and girlfriend?”

    “I think we are; I guess I just move kind of slow in relationships. I’m just so used to being your friend that I’m moving at a more gradual pace…”

    “No, it’s not just you. I’m feeling the same way,” I muttered braiding the end of my hair. “Do you know what to do?”

    “Aubrey, you’ve been in more relationships than I have, so you’re more of an ‘expert’ than I am,” he replied before taking a drink of his water. “I don’t mean expert to sound bad; just saying you should know more about it.”

    “I’ve never been in this kind of situation.” I pondered on it for a moment. “I’ve also never put that much thought into it. I mentioned it to Jamia a week ago and she said her and Frank had a slow start where they were friends for years before they ever dated.”

    “That makes sense. I guess we’re so used to sitting around, watching movies, going out instead of kissing and other stuff like couples do…” He cleared his throat. “Did she say what switched them from friends to couple?”

    “No… How about we talk about it later, huh?” I suggested forcing a bite of food into my mouth. I was not hungry, but I figured if I ate something I would feel a little more normal.

    The rest of the night went normal; a movie played on the television while we lounged on the couch holding hands. No words were exchanged. The phone rang like it normally did at that time; it would be one of our friend beginning a conversation which led us to politely leave the room so the other could enjoy the movie. I placed the phone to my ear to hear Mikey’s voice on the other line asking me how his brother had been.

    “He’s fine, we’re just watching a movie.” I ran my thumb across Gerard’s knuckles as I stared at the television.

    “Aubrey, would you and Gerard like to join me and a female friend tomorrow night? Dinner and maybe a movie?” he asked nervously.

    “Double date tomorrow? Really? Who’s the lucky girl?” I picked playfully.

    “You’ll meet her tomorrow, damn,” he stated seeming embarrassed by what I had said.

    Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed Gerard leaning towards me, “I’m just joking, sweetheart. That sounds fun.” I turned towards him and felt his lips press lightly against my own. I slowly pulled away and cleared my throat, “See you tomorrow, Mikey.” Placing the phone on the table and stared at him. I’ve seriously never felt that way before when a guy kissed me; that clichéd lingering warm fuzzy feeling in the pit of the stomach. “You’re full of mysteries, aren’t you?”

    “What?” he asked propping his feet up in my lap and resting his head on the arm at the opposite end of the couch. He acted as though it never happened and stared at the television.

    “Nothing.” I eventually stopped staring and fixated my attention on the window. “Mikey wants us to go on a double date with him and a female friend tomorrow. What do you think?”

    “I say we go,” he murmured sleepily.
    Sorry it took me so long; I broke up with my boyfriend and my nephew has been here a lot lately (where my brother and his wife are splitting up; a lot of break ups in my family right now). I'm not heart broken because I felt like we were better off friends; kind of feel like I've wasted 13 months on him. :huh:
  13. kadoodle

    kadoodle crazy cat lady Staff Member

    I'm glad you're not heartbroken :)

    Great update and can't wait to see who Mikey brings along.
  14. I dont know why by I'm not GETTIN notified for when you update...

    Brilliant update. At the very end I thought you were going to do the cliche'd kiss back but the way you DID end was much better :)

    Sorry bout the break ups. Hopefully it all goes well on both sides.
  15. MarieArt

    MarieArt Champion of Losers

    Chp 12

    “So I’ll drive a straight line/When I cross the state line/Out into the ocean, in a moment I’ll be gone/Then you won’t have to feel torn.” –Stateline by Butch Walker (look up this song. I love it so much)
    The date neared its end once we received our food at a small restaurant. I noticed a guy on the other side of the room glancing at me; he looked like a down-on-his-luck musician. He was cute with a chiseled face; his normal body-type hidden under tattered, acid-washed jeans, black hooded sweatshirt, and a gray newsboy cap. Gerard never took notice of my attention drifting off somewhere else every couple of minutes, but the boys sat on one side of the booth while Mikey’s date and I sat on the other side.

    “Aubrey?” Mikey stated snapping his fingers grabbing my attention. “Hey! Welcome back to Earth.”

    “Sorry, I’m just really tired,” I muttered blinking a few times. “I’m going to splash some water on my face to wake me up.” I excused myself from the table and wandered through the miniature maze of tables even pass the guy who distracted me from everyone at our booth. Entering and leaving the restroom was a blur, but the down-on-his-luck musician caught my attention again. This time, he spoke.

    “Hey.” He extended his left hand towards me.

    “Hi, uh, I’m Aubrey,” I stated shaking his hand.

    “I’m Brad,” he stated with a subtle southern-draw to his voice. “Have I seen you before?”

    “Not that I know of; are you from around here?” I asked thinking that he did seem very familiar.

    “No. I travel here very often,” he muttered shooting me a half-smile. “I’m actually from Georgia.”

    “Welcome back,” I joked and gave him a smile. “I’ll see ya around?”

    “Okay, nice meeting you, Ms. Aubrey,” he stated with the smile still lingering on his face.

    The walk back to the table felt like the longest walk I’ve ever taken. I rejoined my company and acted as though nothing was wrong. Was something wrong? I glanced back at Brad and noticed he had been joined by another guy around his age; both of which was probably a couple of years older than me.

    Mikey and his date left while Gerard and I lingered behind, “Is something wrong?”

    “I’m just not feeling that great,” I stated tugging at the seam of my old purple v-neck t-shirt and leaned on the brick wall of the old restaurant. It had gotten rather dark and I could not for the life of me leave.

    “How about we go back to the apartment?”

    “That’s all we do,” I stated becoming aggravated. “All we do is sit around at the f**king apartment, have dinner, and sleep. Other than that we randomly go to the movies. That’s all you want to do.”

    “We can go out if you want.”

    “I’m just…” Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Brad standing there with his friend. “Gerard, I think we’re better off friends. It’s just not going anywhere.”

    “What?! You mean to tell me that we’re breaking up because of a rut?” he exclaimed stepping towards me. “That’s all you do; if something’s wrong or not going how you want it, you run away.” We were now in each other’s face.

    “At least I don’t sit around waiting for something that’s never going to happen!”

    “You never know if something is going to happen if you’re constantly running from it! That’s why you left your parents’ house when you were eighteen!” I felt his breath sweep across my face.

    “Hey man, back off,” a voice muttered; Brad heard the commotion and probably thought it was going to end badly.

    Gerard grasped my wrist firmly—not too tight, but not in a friend manner—and said, “Who do you think you are?” He looked at me, “Aubrey, let’s talk about this at our apartment.”

    Our apartment? And why are you Mr. Badass all of a sudden?” I jerked my wrist out of his grasp. “And Brad is a friend of mine, F.Y.I.”

    “Oh, the F.Y.I. card? Okay, whatever,” he retorted. “I can’t believe I even liked you more than a friend; I’m beginning to regret that.”

    “Well, me too. Your poop better be out of my apartment by Tuesday morning,” I stated sharply. Deep down I regretted saying that, but if he was going to be an butthole then so be it. It was Saturday, so I’m pretty sure two and a half days was plenty of time for him.
    “Fine. Have fun with Brad,” he mumbled walking away.

    I looked at Gerard then back at Brad, “I’m sorry about that… I’ll just be on my way.” I started walking in the complete opposite direction than Gerard.

    “Wait.” I turned around and saw a serious face for once. “I’m doing an acoustic thing downtown tonight; want to go? You don’t have to pay; free food and drinks.”

    “Sure. I’m always up for live music and a little bit of fun,” I responded lightly.
    "Aubrey's" reasoning for breaking up with him is the same reason I broke up with my (ex)boyfriend.
  16. Chemical 30

    Chemical 30 Just 'That' Girl

    Oh my...drama drama
    Hopefully things will get better for the both of them
  17. kadoodle

    kadoodle crazy cat lady Staff Member

    I hate those sort of break ups :(
  18. All break ups suck. But they're not meant to be a walk in the park either.

    Why do I not trust this guy? He seems perfectly nice and yet I don't trust him. Great update Hun :)
  19. MarieArt

    MarieArt Champion of Losers

    Chp 13

    The following is based on true events; different people at different times.
    After Brad’s band left the stage, I stepped outside for some fresh air. Rain decided to creep upon everyone, but I was the only one who seemed to not mind. I find it cleansing. Cupping my hands together, I caught small handfuls. I love the way it smells and loved how it felt when it seeped through my fingers. For the first time in ages, I felt alive.

    “How cute are you?” I glanced over my shoulder to find Brad opening an umbrella then sharing it with me.

    “Sorry, I love standing in the rain every now and then.”

    He smiled, “Me too. Want me to close the umbrella? We can stand in the rain together. I’m not trying to impress anyone anyway.”

    I nodded, “Same here, and you can close it if you want. I don’t mind.”

    “You’re not like most girls.” He closed the umbrella and the water sprinkled on us. “Most girls would be screaming about their hair or makeup.”

    “I love hair and makeup, but you need to enjoy the little things,” I noted smiling back at him.

    He smiled again as several people jogged inside, “That guy lost something special, does he know that?”

    “Who, Gerard? We’re two completely different people and we’ve been friends way too long; couples normally don’t last long if they’ve known each other forever,” I stumbled over my words. His smile just melted my insides.

    “True.” He smirked. “Is something wrong?”

    “Just feel like me; for the first time in a year, I feel like myself,” I exclaimed over the rain.

    “I know the feeling, darlin’, but do you want me to walk you home?” he hesitantly asked. “It’s getting late and…”

    “Why would I after he treated me that way?” I scoffed.

    “He probably didn’t mean to.”

    “Look at you, thinking you know him.” I twisted the ends of my hair to wring out some of the rain.

    “I’m a guy, and guys do and say stupid things that they do not mean, so I’m pretty sure he didn’t mean it to come out the way it did,” he calmly explained.

    He did have a point, so I let out a small breath, “That could be true.”

    “Come on, I’ve said stupid poop before. Give him a chance. Y’all might not be able to stay boyfriend and girlfriend, but that doesn’t mean you can’t be friends, does it?” he said placing his hand on my shoulder. “Let me walk you home and you two talk about it. If you can’t work it out, you can’t. No need for yelling or getting rid of each other permanently. If you need someone else to talk to…” He pulled out a small piece of paper and a permanent marker, “Call or text me.” He handed me the paper and I pocketed it before the rain destroyed it.

    “Okay. You do have a point.” Why did he have to have a damned point? Either he has been through hell and back or he’s full of poop. “I guess I should get back home.”

    On the way to my apartment, he told me stories about himself and random bits and pieces of his childhood in Georgia. He asked me about my childhood; I couldn’t say much because mine was dull compared to his. I’ve never fallen from a tree, never rode a horse, and never rode a motorcycle or an ATV, upon other things that he told me about. Compared to him, I lived a sheltered childhood. When we approached the apartment building, we hugged.

    “I don’t want to make it awkward and walk you to your room, so we part here,” he muttered following our hug. “Remember, if you need anything, call or text me. My hotel is just down the street.”

    “Be safe, okay. It’s not too safe around here,” I muttered.

    “I’ll be fine. I’ve walked these streets several times since I’ve been here,” he stated with a smirk. “I think one more time won’t hurt me too bad.”

    I smiled back, “Thanks. I’ll see ya around.”

    “Remember, call or text,” he reassured me.

    “I will.”

    We waved at each other once more before I entered the building and made the long walk to my apartment. I was going to text him whether walking in the apartment is a good or bad experience. I seriously did not want to go back that night. Getting a room at Brad’s hotel seemed a lot better, but I did not have the money and was not going to share a hotel room with some guy I just met. I neared my door and sighed deeply when I scrambled for the keys in my pocket. Brad’s number nearly fell out when my keys and change fell to the floor. I stuffed his number back in my pocket and leaned over to pick up my change, and the door suddenly opened.

    “Wasn’t expecting you back so soon,” a voice murmured from above.

    I pocketed my keys and change, and looked up to find Gerard standing there in old pajama pants and no shirt what-so-ever, “I didn’t want to catch pneumonia.” I stood up and quietly scooted by him smelling alcohol and probably a pack of cigarettes on his breath.

    “You’re soaking wet.”

    “It rained pretty hard on my way back.” I refused to mention Brad. I wandered into the bathroom and quickly changed into pajamas, but when I stepped back into the living room, I saw him lying on the couch with an unlit cigarette dangling out of his mouth. This was way less dramatic than I imagined it was going to be. I envisioned yelling and fighting, but not this. He starred at the television with a blank expression and I’m surprised the cigarette did not fall from his agape mouth. That expression saddened me. “Gerard, I’m…”

    “f**king save it,” he stated throwing his hand up. “f**king save it.”

    Well, here comes what I was originally expecting. “I’m f**king sorry, smartass.”

    His eyes darted up at me then drunkenly fell back to the television, “You’re f**king right. We’re better off friends.” He dug a lighter out of his pants pocket and it fell to the floor. It broke my heart seeing him like that; pitiful, drunk mess, and probably borderline depressed. “You’re always f**king right.” His hand stumbled around on the floor for the lighter and ended up knocking it under the couch.

    I walked over and retrieved it for him, “Here.” I flicked it and lit his cigarette for him. He could barely hold his body still enough for his cigarette to hit the flame, so I placed it between my lips to light it and gave it back. He ran his hand up and down his face and sat up.

    “Sit.” He slapped the cushion next to him and leaned his elbows on his knees. “Sit, please.” He cupped his head in his hands making sure he didn’t burn himself with the cigarette. He took in a deep breath as I seated myself next to him. “I-I can’t leave again.”

    “You don’t have to, baby-doll,” I muttered. “Not right now anyway… not until you have both feet on the ground.”

    He nodded into his hands then took a drag off of his cigarette, “I want to still be friends, okay?” He mumbled exhaling smoke then looked up at me. “Always friends.”

    Gerard seemed very different, even when drunk he never sound like a child. “Are you okay?”

    “Answer me…”

    “Yes, but answer me. Are you okay?” I asked placing a hand on his shoulder.

    “I called and talked to Frank and Mikey, and they had a lot to say…” he took another draw from his cigarette. He rubbed his eye with his thumb knuckle, “I can’t save you from all the bad guys like I want to. I figured if we dated, everything would be perfect, but all it did was almost end a friendship.”

    I rubbed his back, that is all I could do. He wasn’t crying nor was he even experiencing any emotions at all. In a way, it kind of frightened me, but everyone’s different and they deal with situations in different manners.
  20. kadoodle

    kadoodle crazy cat lady Staff Member

    I agree with Amy, I'm not sure I trust this Brad character

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