Tell your sister I'm another

Discussion in 'Completed Fan Fictions' started by MyFrerardKisses, Sep 17, 2011.

  1. Chapter 36

    Chapter 36
    Bee’s P.O.V

    I got to work a little later than usual and Brian was sat behind the counter sipping his coffee and serving the costumers in a rush lazily, luckily I stepped in a picked up the pace.
    After the 1st rush of customers I sat down and drank my cold coffee Brian got me.
    “Happy Birthday, what’d you get?” he asked twirling a packet of Marlboro reds in his hands.
    “A queen t-shirt, Misfits back pack, this coat, a necklace and this cell phone I am clueless to use other than text and turn it on.” I pulled out my phone and saw a green light flash in the corner. “What does that mean?” I ask pointing to it.
    “I think it means you have a message.” He laughs and I pressed the button I was told before and see ‘Bob’ on the drop down and click it making me jump at its quickness, I read the message ‘Bee, I’m not mad, it’s okay you didn’t tell me, I love you. I’ll give you your present later, Gee made a cake too. Happy birthday buttercup x’
    I smile and text back, ‘I love you too scruff pot x’
    “Some ones in love!” Brian sang putting his coffee in the bin along with mine and grabbing his wallet.
    “Screw you and make sure it’s black not your f**king milk swill!” I shouted at him as he left the store.

    It was time when I was allowed my lunch but as usual I sat in the back only this time exploring my new phone.
    “Hey birthday girl! Someone’s here to see you!” Brian called in to me.
    I walked out to to the counter and saw Frank stood at the counter holding something wrapped in tin foil. “Hey.” I mumble remembering I stormed out this morning.
    “Hey, I made a cake this morning and you left without some, Mikey got a bit self-centred and insisted we cut it, so I brought you some. I can always make another one for when you get home.” Frank handed me the tinfoil and turned to leave.
    “Thanks, why don’t you come out back I’ve got a break, we can talk and maybe split this.” I offered.
    Frank turned around with a smile and nodded. “Sure.”
    I pulled him out back and lit a cigarette I offered him one but he took out his own.
    “So how’s your birthday so far?” he asked fiddling with the zipper on his hoodie.
    “Apart from people finding out I used to take drugs every now and then, okay.” I shrugged with a little bit of sarcasm seeping through.
    “You know we don’t judge you, Mikey was kinda worried but I think he understands and stuff I mean you’re his sister sometimes he’s just looking out for you like Gee does with everyone. Bob didn’t understand fully at first but I think he just loves you more, I think he was a little upset that he didn’t get to give you your present either but I think he has something planned later.” Frank shrugged taking a drag from his cigarette. “I get it Bee, for as long as I’ve know Gee and Mikey I’ve got you... they never told me about you but I was always there for them and they told me about your dad. I can relate to you, my mom has been through 4 boyfriends since I moved here and each one of them had some way of hurting me, I don’t know why they did it but they did and my mom never stopped any of them... they f**ked me up to do alot of poop like you, I did the whole cutting thing, running away, drugs, alcohol, vandalism, gangs and all that poop... Mikey saved me from that, I met him when I started high school and I was with all the scum of the earth guys that liked to eat off me, that time I was living at the park and I was pretty much wasted all the time, I had no idea where I was or what was happening most of the time but when I met Mikey he took me home cleaned me up, waited till I was sober enough and let me cry my f**king eyes out to him because I didn’t know who he was and I didn’t care as long as he cared for me... him and Ray took me home that night and stayed with me to talk things out with my mom, I never went back to that and I’m not proud of it but it’s a big part of me. I just want you to know it’s okay to be messed up because there are 5 other guys just as messed up as you are.” Frank seemed to just zone out as he spoke.
    “I’m sorry; I bet I’ve been acting like a f**king idiot since I came back, I just feel bad when people are looking after a stupid f**k like me and not themselves.” I sighed and stubbed out my cigarette.
    “It’s because we care about you, we love you and we don’t want to lose you... that’s why we got you that cell.” Frank explained running his hand through his black choppy hair.
    “It’s a good thing I’m not going anywhere then.” I chuckled and split the cake I had just opened and gave it to Frankie, I nibbled a bit of it and it was like a coffee store explosion in my mouth, it was amazing and I didn’t believe for one minute Frank made it. “Holy f**k that’s good, you made that, like with all the coffee in it?” I asked scoffing it down.
    “Yep 100% me even though it was meant to be Gerard making it for you guys but lazy motherf**ker just stood there.” Frank laughed and we finished the cake at the same time with one big mouth full.
    “You should make it a profession or something dude that was awesome.” I grin and reach to my locker grabbing the 2 cartons of juice I always keep because I’m a total f**king kid at heart.
    I passed one to Frank who looked at his excitedly but confused. “Juice really?”
    “I drink juice when I’m killing ‘cus it’s f**king delicious, and you remember that!” I laughed and drank my orange juice which tasted bitter and stale.
    Frank laughed and shook his head. “Anyway, I don’t think I want to be anything when I graduate, I’ve always wanted to be in a band and stuff and I think My Chemical Romance might have a chance y’know?”
    “I haven’t personally heard you play but if your heart is set on it go for it I’m not gonna stop you... follow your dreams that way you stay true to your heart.” I placed my hand over my heart and felt its beat slow and calm.
    “I better get going Bee, I got work in half hour and you know what Mart is like.” Frank had one of the best jobs out of all of us, he worked at the local nursing home and he was one of the favourite volunteers and Mart was an ex drummer that treated Frank like his son, I’m sure the ladies liked him too. He got paid for his 4 days a week hour more than we did for our 5 days a week 3 hours.
    “How did you get such a cool job?” I laughed and led him out.
    “Toro’s job is cool man he gets free coffee and unlimited candy for a dollar.” Ray worked at a store that sold the things we loved which was coffee, candy and CD’s... I guess his was kinda cool.
    “Okay, anyways I better get back to work too, see you later Frankie, thanks for the cake, have fun looking after old people and whatever poop you do.” I put on my showy constipated looking smile and got back to serving customers that were shouting at Brian for being too slow.



    A Queen CD came down on the counter in front of me; I picked it up and looked at the cover. “Queen are so awesome, I used to lis-“ I stopped mid sentence when I saw my mom stood on the other side of the till with a beaming smile.
    “Hey, Ray told me you worked here, and I thought I would come and say hi as it’s your birthday... plus I couldn’t find this Queen album that I knew you didn’t have anywhere else so here I am!” her voice sang cheery, I looked around her to see the shop almost empty and make sure she wasn’t holding anyone up.
    “Oh cool, Mikey said you’d come home today, where do you actually go?” I asked the CD still in my hands.
    “Oh I work in Orange so I stay with your Aunt Marie, you know give the boys their privacy... I can’t believe my little Bee’s all grown up.” she looked at me with a glow in her eyes.
    “Mom.” I blushed looking at Brian who sat in his nosey seat looking at me with a smirk.
    “Don’t be silly I’m just amazed at how beautiful my daughter has grown up to be... doesn’t she look lovely Brian?” she asked and it shocked me that she knew who Brian actually was.
    “Very Mrs. Way, I’m off, you know how to lock up, bye Mrs. Way.” Brain stood and grabbed his stuff.
    “Bye Brian, see he thinks you are lovely Bee... you are literally glowing!” she beamed and I was still stood in shock.
    “What?” I asked confused I’ve never known anyone to glow unless they swallowed a glow stick then that might be a possibility.
    “I was just saying you are glowing, you look happy that’s all.” She beamed at me still.
    “I kinda am happy, I got nana’s necklace from Mikey today.” I took my eyes off her and onto my badge flicking the scrawny handwriting.
    “Ray said you couldn’t believe it, she was gonna give it to me actually but then she knew you would want it and how perfect it would match your eyes, always such lovely blue eyes.” She seemed to go into a dreamlike state and pointed out the things I hated about myself.... which was everything... I had awful nose that pointed up at the end, stupid small mouth that veered to the left when I spoke and horrid blue eyes that looked like I’d fell in a puddle of mud and it’d splashed into my pupils and that awkward mole that I wanted to just scratch off.
    “I’m f**king ugly.” I mumbled to myself hoping her not to hear me which to my luck she was too dazed to really listen or she chose to ignore it.
    “Listen I just dropped by to say Happy Birthday as I’ve got to get back to work some kid was admitted yesterday in my ward and she has to have like all time care... I’ve left my present at home, it’s not much and it may need a touch up but I know you’ve wanted one so... yeah, I’m so proud of you, my shining star.” She turned to leave but instead turned back and placed a kiss on my forehead.
    “Oh... Okay, come back soon, love you mom.” I sighed, if only it was for 5 minutes it was worth being with her after all these years I felt like my life was coming back bit by bit.
    “Love you too darling.” She smiled before exiting the store.
    It was silent for a while placing things of shelves and watching a group of teenage boys younger than me, about 14, who were staring contently at me... they all seemed to flush a bright red when I caught them looking at me or one of them drooled and I looked at them with a disapproving frown. I thought about what they were thinking where it was my name tag or just me that they wanted to stare.
    “Can I help you guys?” I asked getting tired of their staring.
    “Oh no we’re just looking.” The one that seemed to be the leader elbowed the guy next to him who wore dorky glasses and had freckles covering his face.
    “Well I’m sorry boys but it’s closing time.” I frown at them because Brian has left me to deal with this for shitty pay for another 4 hours and to be honest I can’t be f**ked to serve customers on my birthday.
    They all moan and I follow them like a sheepdog pushing them out the store.
    I flip over the open/closed sign and head out back grabbing my stuff and the keys to the store.
    I lock up the till and pull down the shutters down the window noticing the pervy boys staring at me from outside as my t-shirt lifts up a little revealing my pale flabby stomach.
    “f**k off.” I groan and grab my jacket stepping out the store and locking the door last.

    I walked through the mall for a little looking at my phone texting Bob about how I gave up on my job and closed... he replies always telling me to take a look in the mall for something I want and he’ll get it or if I could go somewhere for him.
    I was on my way to a store I only knew the name of and way too via the map in the mall when I saw Mr. Tyrer with a young woman, short about my height, piercing blue eyes, long full fringe that looked a natural light brown that flowed down her back, a button nose that was what I would describe piggy but it wasn’t at all it just pointed up on the end like mine, her face was heart-shaped and her skin was a little paler that Mr. Tyrer’s so it looked more like a beige colour than his flushed olive.
    She was a little chubby and you could see the little flashes of tattoo when she moved her arms, she spoke with her hands and her voice from what I could hear sounded Jersey twang with a light Italian accent on top.
    I was about to walk in the opposite direction but I was stopped by Mr. Tyrer catching up with me.
    “Hey, Bandit, happy birthday, I didn’t know you worked here.” He greeted me, he had grown used to calling me different things like Mikey he didn’t decide what to call me so he basically said anything.
    “Hi Mr. Tyrer, how did you know it was my birthday?” I smiled and asked in confusion to his either freaky mind reading or his stalking.
    “Mikey hasn’t stopped talking about it since he came back to school. Bandit this is my sister Rebecca.” He pointed his hand towards the woman stood next to him for the first time noticing she wore tight black jeans with splodges of paint on them and a black shirt that was a little bit too open so that you could see her very visible cleavage.
    “Pleasure, to meet you.” She smiled at me with her bright blue eyes that almost had no pupils.
    “Back at ya, My names Rebecca too, well I used to be Rebecca but I don’t like that now... Rebecca-Bandit a bit of a handful... oh god I’m rambling... so are you from Jersey or England it’s hard to tell?” I rambled making a fool of myself.
    “I’m from England I’m just not posh like big A here.” She laughed and it made me notice that she spoke perfect Jersey yet she said she was from England this just confused me.
    “I’m not posh, we came from the same place remember... Bec’s a comic book writer.” Mr. Tyrer rolled his eyes and nudged his little sister who was about the same height as me... meaning she was about 5-2.
    “Wow, anything I’ve heard of, I work at a store.” I ask trying to think of her name, Rebecca Tyrer?
    “Star Boy and Dead Pegasus, not my best comic but it was the only one I was able to publish.” She looked at the floor.
    “I’ve heard of them we are actually selling them, the art is amazing by the way.” I smile at her as the comic wasn’t that bad.
    “Bec does all her own art.” Mr. Tyrer smiled proudly.
    “A real dream.” Bec sighed sarcastically.
    That was when I remembered what Mr. Tyrer told me, he came to New Jersey and became a teacher when it was really his little sisters dream.
    “So do you live here now?” I asked whilst looking at her tattoos on her neck that was visible.
    “Yeah I’ve lived here for about 9 years now, moved over with my nana when I was 15, of course he followed me and became a teacher, didn’t see him though but all the time I heard about his achievements.” She told me, so he hadn’t directly seen his family in 9 years but he did kinda care to follow her out here.
    “Seeing you and Mikey fix things back up after being away so long made me think and I wanted that too so here I am with my little sister again.” He hugged her and I looked at them understanding.
    It was getting late and dark, I could feel the awkwardness rising and I didn’t like talking to people for too long.
    “I’m glad, I got to go though Bob’s waiting for me.” I smiled and said goodbye rushing off, forgetting Bob’s request, to Mikey’s car.
     
  2. Aw scruff pot. That's too cute haha. Thank god for Frank, he's such a good friend.
     
  3. Chapter 37

    New chapters all about itzy bitxy Frankie-kins xx
    --------------------------------------------------------------
    Chapter 37
    Frank’s P.O.V

    *Flashback*

    I felt the cold metal press firmly up against my temple and the blood pulse under it. “Listen here punk take the gun and do it go on.” The leader, my leader, snarled into my ear.
    I looked down at the kid who was shaking in fear on the floor, the blonde haired guy who they teased everyday because he was gay... or at least thought he was and beat him up every time they could get a chance... it had gone too far this time, they wanted me to pull the trigger on him and end his ‘faggy’ life.
    I felt the gun press into my shaking hand, the metal smooth and cold against my clammy palms, I looked at the sobbing guy on the floor pale and afraid... his eyes were a dark grey under the orange streetlight his face covered in cuts and bruises with gravel still in some of the deeper ones from the smack on the sidewalk and his shirt covered in him blood staining it a fresh deep red.
    I had beat up guys like him before but never killed one, I was one... I mean it was only 2 weeks since I joined the gang after they almost did the same to what I was about to do to him to me but they saw how I fought back and was strong compared to venerable looking exterior.
    At that moment they were the only thing keeping me safe, I was just new though and this, well... this was just my initiation.
    “Come on Frankie-boy you can do it just pull the f**king trigger and send him to butt-f**king hell with all the other fags!” one of the guys ordered from where he was hiding.
    The guy just looked at me with eyes filled with fear, his lungs taking it quick hot breaths and his Adams apple bobbing up and down as he nervously swallowed... he was bigger than me so I didn’t get why he didn’t a) make a run for it or b) fight back... he looked like a f**king football player and I looked like a scared mouse being pressured into nibbling the cheese in the trap... oh I forgot I have a f**king gun in my hands.
    It was silent as I unlocked the safety and pointed it at the cowering stranger.
    “f**k.” I heard a gasp from behind me but I didn’t bother to turn around... I didn’t wanna go home to my mom, I didn’t want to be beaten up by one of her Sysco boyfriends again, I didn’t want to listen on and on about how much of a fag I was or how I was a scum of the earth from my own head.
    I saw the red and blue lights before anyone else did, I took my chance and as the sirens turned on I wiped over the gun threw it at the first guy I saw, grabbed the guys hand and ran for it.
    I didn’t turn back until I was safely away in the bushes to sound of our quick breaths filling silence as we watched.
    The police spotted the gang I was... used to be... in and took immediate action arresting them and lugging them down to the station cursing and thrashing about... that could have been me, I could have just killed a guy I barely new because someone else told me to I’m suck a f**king dickhead-asswhole.
    “Dude I’m so f**king sorry, I totally didn’t want to get you into that poop... I didn’t either... I just.... I just.... I just don’t belong here man, I don’t need that poop, I just want to be normal again.” I stuttered and sighed looking back at my victim/escapee.
    “Frank right... Frank Iero... just listen to me, no hard feeling or any of that poop okay... just go home get some sleep then come to school tomorrow where none of those shitheads are and hang out okay?” this guy said more forward than I thought he would be.
    “Wait aren’t you mad for me almost blowing your f**king brains out? Who are you?” I asked shocked with the totally cool, laidback guy next to me covered in blood and bashings.
    “Bob Bryar I was like ordered to show you around when you moved but I was too caught up being shoved into bins on the way to school I couldn’t do that shitty job... I could see in your eyes you weren’t gonna do it but I could also the the little glint that made me think you were... that and the total fact it looked like you were gonna cry.” Bob patted my shoulder and for the first time in a long time I didn’t shrug it off.
    “I’m sorry again man, do you need some help home or anything, need me to call someone?” I asked taking in his appearance... now out of the orange light I could see his eyes were a light blue with a deeper ocean blue rim, his hair was a white blonde and he was kinda well built with a chubby face.
    “No I’m fine I live just across the street... I’m used to this poop by now, thanks Frank... you saved my life today.” He smiled and gave me an awkward hug before disappearing out of site.
    I was still kinda shocked at how laidback he was but I was kinda happy that he wanted to hang out at school the next day... however I still was no way going to go home.
    I sulked to the swings and sat with a thump down onto the uncomftable black rubber seat running my fingers through my skunk style hair and slumping my shoulders over.
    It was cold and dark earlier than I expected in September and I would have thought for everyone to be in their homes by the heater or in bed with their loved ones or dogs or brothers or sisters... or just someone who gives a poop... until I felt a presence and knew I wasn’t alone anymore... at 8 o’clock. On a Wednesday. In the park.
    “Men get arrested... dogs like them get put down.” I heard a small voice come from behind and sit on the swing next to me rocking it gently with the backs of his converse heals.
    “Did you just quote Watchmen?” I asked smugly... yep I loved comics they were f**king awesome and I don’t know how I lasted so long without them.
    “Yup... me and my brother have this thing of quoting comic books... kinda the nerd in us coming to the surface and making us look like complete freaks.” He laughed and I didn’t want to look at him for some reason... it felt like I wasn’t good enough to look at him because of what a total dick I’ve been to everyone.
    “I like freaks then... well I like comic books... and music... and horror movies and stuff... speaking of which why are you out here so late?” I rambled until the question I wanted finally came out.
    “Well since you moved I’ve been kinda curious and well I saw what you were about to do man... and to Bob... I thought I had you in a nutshell but guess I’m wrong.” He spoke to his shoes and I saw my chance to look at him whilst he wasn’t, he had rectangular glasses just about fitting on the bridge of his nose without sliding down the straight slope, his hair was a dark brown but was light enough that it just looked like the mud brown if you get what I mean, his face was pale but had random little patches of tan on his cheeks and under his eyes, he wore a black misfits hoodie obviously too big for him and tight skinny grey jeans that sagged a little... he looked about 5x fatter than his bony hands let him out to be.
    “I guess I don’t know who I am either to be honest.” I sighed and rocked on the sing.
    “I know who you are, Frank Iero... rock enthusiast and comic book reader who likes a good horror movie and my new best friend.” He was shy but bold enough to tell me straight that I was his new best friend... I’d never really had a best friend and I’m pretty sure this wasn’t how you made them.
    “Thanks for clearing that up... ummm-“ I had no idea what my best friend’s name was.
    “Mikey. Mikey Way.” He looked up at me with hazel eyes that matched the colour of his hair; he had a little brown spot under his right eye and rectangular think rimmed glasses.

    #End Flashback#

    That was the night I met 2 of my best friends and my now boyfriend... the night I went home and the night I was rescued just like the night we all rescued Bee.
     
  4. Aww soo cute
     
  5. Chapter 38

    Chapter 38

    Bee’s P.O.V

    As I pulled into the driveway crowded with 5 other cars surprised at how they would fit and wondering on the 5th one.
    I parked and took a better look at the old black Ford Escort MK6 the seats were a little damp and tatty a few cigarette butt marks and the dashboard covered in foot marks and the glove compartment door missing, the radio looked worn out and the wing mirrors slightly worn and cracked.
    “Your Mom dropped it off earlier I think she thinks it’s a good investment or something when it’s really just a non workable heap... I mean Gee and Ray’s tried even I’ve tried and it won’t start so we can’t move it.” Bob appeared from under the bonnet with a little black smear on his cheek, he wanted to work as a mechanic when he graduated and spent some days at school on an internship with the local garage.
    “So the guys get nice posh new Subaru’s and Chevrolet and I get a shitmobile that barely works, is covered in burn marks and poop paint work... I feel so special, it’s a real treat getting something from a garbage heap.” I scowled pulling Bob to me in a little hug looking up at him with a little pout. “Thank you for fixing it sweetie and I’m sorry for storming off earlier, I’m all yours now... how was work?” I asked hooking my arm around his neck and looking into his tired and dilated eyes.
    “Okay some guy almost chucked his coffee at me twice... people these days aren’t as accepting to blonde haired emo guys with gingeriest stubble and a stupid butt lip ring.” He smirked and pulled my lips to his hooking my chin with his jaw.
    I felt every tingle and every bit of heat in my body sink into my toes on its way making my stomach flip and almost fill up with those annoying stupid little butterflies that appear with every touch and every breath of air when I’m with Bob.
    I moved my head onto his shoulder still holding him tight in my arms, “I don’t think your lips rings stupid butt... it’s f**king hot and as for your scwuffy wittle beard I f**king love that... I love the way it feels-“ I mumbled into his neck my hand reaching up stroking his jaw letting the prickle of the hair rub against my skin and the heat from his quickening pulse radiate through me.
    “Now that I have you all to myself can I give you your birthday present-s?” he looked around still holding me tight not letting me go encasing me in his stench of car oil, coffee, cigarettes, something damp and the usual Bob smell of a mix of sweat and sex.
    “Sure.” I smiled into his neck leaving a little kiss under his earlobe.

    We sat down on the porch where he brought out a blanket and we sat just huddled together.
    “Bee, I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you, you saved me from the one thing I was knocked down by, the moment I saw you I knew you were special you were perfect with your wet clothes and your tired looking eyes... your pale skin and long brown hair. I knew you were perfect, I knew I loved you, even after 4 months of us being together I just know... I don’t know if it’s too soon or whatever but I know I’m not wrong... I know how I feel about you with all my heart. I hope that one day we will have kids, you’ll be the best teacher, I’ll be fixing cars and poop, we’ll have our own place, a better car and a cute little dog... a family we can call our own. I want it all Bee... with you. I’m not asking you to marry me now but some day we will... Bee, I promise, we will... as long as you want to that is?” Bob sat up as I stared at him almost with tears in my eyes he held something treasured with a goofy smirk on his face.
    “Of course I want to you airhead.” I smiled back at him with a matching goofy grin and placed my hand on top of his.
    “I got you an eternity ring... as soon as I saw it I knew it was for you... it’s my promise to you.” He said opening the small red velvet box and taking out the silver band placing it to sit perfectly on my ring finger as I looked down at the beautiful twist of clear silver diamonds around the wave of black sapphire imbedded into the glistening band, the light hit the jewels and created a rainbow of colour out in front of us twinkling and dancing around us.
    “It’s beautiful Bob, you really didn’t need to get me this, it must have cost you a fortune.” I held my hand to my chest and looked into his beautiful aqua eyes.
    “You deserve it; it was worth it to see that beautiful smile of yours on that perfect face, now you can show the whole world that you are mine and no one can take you away from me.” Bob tucked a strand of hair behind my ear (how cliché) and cupped my cheek with his hand for me to lean into it.
    My eyes closed and felt the brush of lips against mine sending the blood to my lips and urging to deepen it but something didn’t sound right.
    I pulled back “Wait this hasn’t got anything to do with Adam has it or Luke for that matter... you know it’s just plain weird and plain sick in the head to do that to anyone. We just gotta ignore them and get on with our life... it’s just poop, they think they can break us apart but it’s going to take a f**king lot to take what we have y’know... it’s stupid game play, it’s silly that they have to act like kids I mean what’s the point huh... don’t let that get to you Bob it’s not worth it.” Stroking his cheek the ring smooth and cold against the skin.
    “I just don’t get it Bee it’s f**king stupid and I just don’t want the thing in the back of my head telling me I might lose you or you’re going to be taken away by some asswhole if I let you go... why now? Why us? I don’t want you to go anywhere near the freak. I don’t want you near his store. I won’t let him take you away.” I could see the anger but worry in his eyes, his voice quivered and his eyes wouldn’t focus.
    “Hey. Hey. I ain’t going anywhere just look at me. I’m here and I’m yours.” I soothed him stroking his cheek and wrapped my arms around him.
    “All. Mine. Now come ‘ere.” He sighed and pulled me to him so we fitted together like a jigsaw puzzle with no gaps, I wrapped my arms around his neck and perched on his legs so my knees were tucked under his arms and my lower legs wrapped around his back his lips joining mine again and we melted together.
    “Eewww gross!” Mikey interrupted walking out onto the porch and to be completely honest I had no clue if he was talking about me and Bob playing tonsil-tennis or my car.
    Pulling our lips apart I faced Mikey blushing and studying his appearance. “Going out on a smoking hot date with your lover boy?” I smirked, a sudden rush of confidence firing up inside, he was wearing his black skinny jeans as always, a black shirt and red tie with one out of my two black hoodie’s that had a deep red zipper down the front and also a little big but tucked in at the waist in a feminine way.
    “Actually yes, he’s taking me to dinner it’ll make a change from Mac and cheese, outback finished Bob.” Mikey winked at us just as Ray’s car pulled up.
    “Have an awesome date.” I smiled and held back a giggle as Bob started running his fingers up and down my thigh.
    “You too... love your ring... bye!” Mikey chirped excitedly and hopped down the porch steps passing my heap of metal to Ray’s car.
    I watched them drive off down the street, noticing a few neighbours on their porch’s look at us some with big smiles on their faces and some with disproved looks as I turned back to Bob who was began to kiss along my jaw.
    “I have a surprise in the back yard.” He murmured his lips gliding along my jaw and nuzzling into my neck.
    The back yard of the house was our mom’s passion when she was home, from what I remembered; she used to spend long hours mowing the soft grass and planting flowers along the fence. We had a large oak tree in the middle that used to have a tree house until our dad took it down when I spent too long in it as my escape; I hadn’t actually been in the yard since I got home.
    Being home for almost over 4 months I began the ask myself if it was best coming home, I was beginning to regret the old person I had made myself be to try and get out... I prepared myself to do anything to get out of that school and I did it one step at a time... I began to drink, I began to harm, I disobeyed the rules, I started drugs, I cursed, I didn’t listen, I didn’t pray and I stormed out of lessons... it’s all out of character and I hated doing it because I didn’t like what I was doing I just wanted to be out of the stupid school and I wanted to be with my family again but I didn’t think about if it was the right idea or that would they want me or if I was causing more trouble which I had. I rushed into things with Bob I mean it was love at 1st sight and I felt like I knew him, I wanted to be with him, and I wanted him to my own... I just wanted go back and maybe slow it down. But that made me who I am. I guess.

    Bob walked me awkwardly clutching on hugging me from behind refusing to let go making the movements sloppy as I melted into him. We wobbled along the side of the house, noticing the steps down into the basement aka my bedroom, and turned the final corner into the yard.
    The sunset was a perfectly beautiful run of colours that bled into each other, yellows melting into oranges melting into almost deep reds and fading into a grey against the night on the horizon stars already beginning to appear and the moon casting a faint outline where it would appear.
    In the middle of the lush grass that was still short but had turned a murky green from loss of care there was a sheet of sand, it was spread out delicately the horizon turning it a dark mousy brown as the light began to fade away ready for the moon to take over. It was perfect, on the sand lay 2 cans of Dr. Pepper and a pizza box, I laughed at the set out and simplicity of it all but it was the most thoughtful thing I’d ever seen, I beamed as we walked close.
    “Wow Bob it’s beautiful... you thought of this by yourself?” I turned to him feeling a few tears well up in the corners of my eyes.
    “I wanted you to experience your dream, all the things you missed I wanted to make sure you got them one by one... I want to sit with you in the moonlight holding you close and feeling the sand beneath our entwined hands and let the world fade away around us as long as we are together.” His voice whispered into my ear making my body shiver and my mind melt at his sweet honey coated words, he led me to the sand and pulled me with him onto it in a big constricting hug as I fell on his chest.
    “So this just proves that men actually do listen.” I smirked and shuffled off him to sit in-between his legs feeling him move with me and holding me to his chest like a wall so I could lean against him.
    Bob just hummed in my ear and placed kisses along my hooded shoulder. “I bought us a pizza but I am going to guess it is no longer there was Frank is stood in Gerard’s window with 3 slices in his hand... I hope he gives Gee some.” Bob pointed to Frank looking out of Gerard’s slightly blacked out window his brown eyes twinkling with mischief and a cheeky grin on his lips.
    “I doubt it by the time he’s turned ‘round he’ll have scoffed them into that big gob of his... greedy bastard.” I whispered turning to be met by beautiful ice blue eyes.
    Lost in his paradise and surrounded by a bubble no one could break.
     
  6. Chapter 39

    Chapter 39
    Bee’s P.O.V

    We had just began to fall asleep when we heard someone clear their throat, my eyes shot open expecting to see Mikey or Gee but instead it was Bob’s Mom stood near the side of the house her hands on her hips and her eyes narrowed, Bob suddenly realised who it was too and he helped me sit back up so I was next to him the sand turning from caressing to uncomfortable on my legs.
    “You up!” she snarled pointing to Bob who was looking at her with an ashamed look on his face?
    “Mom.” He sighed not attempting to move.
    “I said up! You are coming home! Home! The place where you live... clothes, drums, bed, food, all that stuff there... not this dump, now move!” She snarled moving to charge at us so I shot up pulling Bob with me, she had never acted like this before, and she was so nice when I first met but now fear struck my bones.
    “Mom calm down you don’t know what you’re doing, you are sick.” Bob stepped forwards pushing me back a little so he was in the middle of us.
    “I damn well are! I’m sick of you being here all the f**king time! I am your mother you need to be home! I knew I should have never let you see her she’s only trouble! I never see you anymore and it’s all her fault! Why can’t you see who she really is! Now go and get in the f**king car before I have to drag you!” her voice leaked venom and I couldn’t handle it anymore with clenched fists I closed my eyes.
    “Oh yeah well who am I?” I shouted back opening my eyes again to see Bob just stood in front of his mother his head bowed and his body stiff.
    “Rebecca just leave it, I have to go.” His voice stiff with no emotion at all.
    “You Rebecca-Bandit are a sl*t! A filthy wrist cutting sl*t! They didn’t want you in that f**king school they don’t want you here! Sure you helped Bob... get his pants off! You planned on taking my son away from me and you finally achieved it! You are a worthless piece of poop always have been and always will be! I wish your father had killed you that day! I tried and I tried to keep Bob away from you but somehow you clawed your way back in!” She shouted and shouted but I couldn’t let her get to me... she had gone below the belt and she had brought back more memories than I wanted to relive.
    “Just get out! Go!” I screamed anger flashing in my eyes and Bob stood there emotionless.
    She grabbed his arm and hauled him back around to the front of the house. She had taken him, she had insulted me and he had just stood there, I let him go. Maybe we did need a rest, some time away but I would have liked to discuss it with Bob and not done it on my birthday especially after this morning.

    I didn’t want to look at the romantic scene behind me, I didn’t want to feel the ring on my finger dragging me down, I didn’t want to feel anything. My chest tensed and my throat went dry, my fists clenched and my eyes became blurred with tears. My lip trembled and I choked sob escaped my chest, I wanted to cry, to kick and scream but I couldn’t. Nothing made my tears escape; they just filled my eyes and flooded my vision.
    My knees buckled and I fell to the hard grass ground, it was silent apart from my angry sniffles and sobs, the sky a deep blue scattered with golden stars however the whole world around me was glum and grey.
    It made me want to destroy, rip and bleed everything in the world around me that I could reach, a new emotion fired up inside of me, an emotion that made me smirk with a twisted anger. I stood up charging into the house and into the kitchen grabbing a knife from the counter and storming into the family room where the closest mirror was hung.
    I stared at my own reflection. My jaw stiff and straight, smirking angry turned up rosy red mouth and dark menacing eyes reddened from tears and hiding the hurt captured deep down from stored memories and thrown hate.
    #Flashback#

    “Hey Bee come sit with your daddy.” Our father smiled at me patting his lap and putting his paper on the glass coffee table I had just cleaned.
    I looked at Gerard who was sat in front of our mother who was cutting his hair where he had gum stuck in it, his eyes looked at me worriedly but urged me to go on or I was going to get it worse. I climbed up onto the couch and scooted into the muscled mans lap one hand rested on my lower back and the other on my knee soothing over the bruise I had gained the night before making me flinch at his almost paternal touch. I tried to look around in search of Mikey to make sure he wasn’t near if anything bad happened but his hand moved from my back to my long hair patting it down and pulling my soft curls so they strained to be straight jerking my head back.
    “I was wondering Bee, your beautiful soft hair is getting too long, maybe your momma could cut it.” He purred looking over to our mom; her hands shook as she placed a piece of Gerard’s hair in between the scissor blades.
    “Sure.” Her voice trembled.
    “I’m not mad at you princess so stop shaking.” He sighed and I realised I was shaking. “It’s your birthday soon and you’re going to be 7, right?”
    I nodded my head.
    “Well I was thinking how about we go to the beach, you can play in the sand and go swimming with your brothers?” he beamed at me.
    I nodded again shy that if I said anything I would be snapped at and the beach would be cancelled.
    “Don, honey, she can’t swim.” Our mother spoke up and my lip began to tremble turning my head toward her, if she hadn’t have mentioned it I would have found a way to make sure it looked like I knew.
    “Is that right and why is that?” his voice hardened and anger fired in his eyes.
    “Because she has a fear of water, Don.” Our mom murmured.
    In that moment I was off his lap snatched up in his powerful grip and carried up the stairs, tears fell from my eyes and new bruises were forming on my arms. I struggled and turned to see Gerard silently crying at the bottom of the stairs, I knew he would follow as soon as he could.
    I was tugged into the bathroom, he threw me down hitting my head of the counter as he filled up the bath, I could feel warmth spread through the back of my head and my eyes closed into darkness.
    I couldn’t breathe, I couldn’t move, water clogged my ears. I opened my eyes to the bottom of the bathtub, bubbles from my nose and mouth escaped as I was pushed further into the water. I struggled but I couldn’t move free of the hand on the back of my head, as it was pushed deeper I saw red leak into the water, I thrashed and fought until I could no longer take it, my tears mixed in with the blooded water and it filled my lungs choking me, wrapping me in a tight blanket and squishing my insides.
    #End Flashback#

    That night I was dead for 2 minutes and Gerard saved me, I’ve been afraid of water since, the next day I was forced to school and I saw a boy with sandy blonde hair looking at me with blue eyes from across the playground he smiled at me then disappeared. Mikey was oblivious with what happened and our father had scarpered. That morning I felt so angry and that was the first and last time the smirk had appeared. It meant I wanted to destroy something, take out my aggression and tear something to shreds, I wanted to make something ugly and broken... just like I was. I felt like I was going to cry, my body ached, I wanted to scream. I closed my eyes and behind them was a world of grey and black desert, demolished and lit up with flames of red. I wanted to be in control but my inherited fathers rage bubbled and simmered inside of my chest and with every breath I took I could feel it seep through my lungs and keep going scorching my insides waiting to finally spill over and explode.
    This person in the mirror wasn’t me, it was my father, I was him. I was a monster. And he was right, I needed a haircut, with old cold memories I grabbed a fistful of my hair and pulled it tight and taught straining, I raised the knife in my hand my first clenched making my knuckles pop and stick out under my translucent skin. Then I did it.
    I attacked my hair, grabbing fistfuls of it and sawing away leaving clumps of my dyed black hair on the floor at my feet. I pulled and tugged pulling wads of hair out and I grunted and moaned as my knife bit through a knot.

    This time the person in the mirror wasn’t me or my father, it was the person I had been for 10 years wanting to escape but was held back and stored in that smirk, this was the real me. The monster. The person behind the mask, this was my creation, my art, my beauty in destruction.
    “Bee.” I heard Gerard’s cautious voice whisper from the stairs and my cold empty eyes met his watery ones in the mirror. “I saw what happened from the window, Bob’s mom is ill Bee, she has problems that she can’t control, and she didn’t me-“ he took one step closer and I spun on my heel facing him, I placed the knife at my wrist and let the tears run freely.
    “Don’t you dare come one step closer or I’ll do it, I cut the vein under that thin flesh and I will end it!” I threatened and I saw his face wash over with fear. Not for himself but for me.
    Looking into his brown eyes I saw a boy, the boy at the bottom of the stairs, outside the door, in my bed, cleaning up my cuts and I saw the boy who knew all my secrets. I saw my big brother; I saw his innocence, his past, his love and his pain. “I’m sorry.” I gasped and sank to the floor dropping the knife, I was just a big heap in the middle of the wooden floor, my hair scattered around me and my heart shattered into pieces. If only he had said “No, mom.” Or “I’m staying with my girlfriend.” but it wasn’t all about me, it was about his mom too. I was selfish. I was stupid to fall into love that quickly and I will never see him again, I will make it my choice not to see him again for his own good.

    Gerard

    “Bee.” I whispered again creeping down the stairs towards my sobbing sister in the middle of her self destruction scene.
    “Gerard, go away.” She sobbed and covered her face with her hands but her hands couldn’t hide the tears or the mess of her hair.
    I was going to kill Bob. He left her on her birthday without as much as a backward glance or goodbye. He wanted someone like Bee, he got her and I can’t believe I let him leave her. She had done this to herself. Her black hair was short and uneven from her attack and her hands were red and sore from the vigorous fight to cut through the knots.
    I slowly gathered her in my arms, pushing away the thick steel knife with my foot and soothing her back. “It’s okay Bee, we will fix you, I promise.” I calmed her softly but inside I worried about her, if she had done this what else could she do?
    “Don’t let him come back, don’t let him touch me, not again... not ever.” She gasped as her sobs grew into wailing.
    Frankie had left and I was alone to watch out my window the couple’s birthday beach picnic... if I could get her calmed down and Frankie back no one else would have to know... except my mother.
    “I won’t, I promise.” I sighed thinking about our abusive father, that’s who she meant not Bob... our father haunted her through her nightmares and through her everyday life; it would kill her if he came back.
    “It’s over with Bob, his mother hates me, he won’t want me anymore... I don’t want to see him ever again, I can’t let him hurt me.” she wailed sinking into my shoulder.
    “He doesn’t hate you, he loves you, look at this ring... if he hated you he wouldn’t have gave you this ring. Bob’s mom has Alzheimer’s... her mood changes a lot, you can’t blame her, blame her illness.” She felt so small in my arms, thin and fragile like a feather that she could float from one puff of air. Dainty like a water cracker that even with the gentlest of touches she could fall apart.
    “Help me do my hair.” She whimpered and looked around at the mass of hair around her.
    “Sure.”

    A few hours later Mom was home holding Bee as she cried in her room and Frankie was sat with me on the couch, he had came over straight after I called him and started to restyle my beautiful sisters hair. It was short but not boy short... it was choppy and settled just below the ear. It was different and made her heart shaped face stand out along with her azure eyes against the black.
    “Is she going to be okay?” Frankie asked concerned about the wail of Bee’s crying coming from downstairs in the basement.
    “I don’t know, she’s been hurt so many times, I don’t think she can take it anymore. One more bump in the road and she might explode... I don’t know what I’ll do when she does.” I snuggle up to my boyfriends side, his honey and lemon scent wafting up from his hair and into my nose making my eyes widen in arousal... it smelt like summer, like innocence and the sun, like I time with no worries and no regrets.
    “If she doesn’t want to see him again that’s fine, he’s still our friend but he may have to back off a little.” Frankie shrugged.
    He better not come near me any time soon, he left my sister heartbroken, and still he could have called and explained!
    “Okay darlings, I better go, I hate to leave you like this but she finally got to sleep, exhausted from crying bless her little heart. I’ll come by soon. I love you kids!” mom waltzed through the house and out the door leaving her usual $700 on the table.
    I sighed and rested my head on the back of the couch, Frankie started nipping at it sweetly and my mind whirled into other things. It was me and him.
    Until a panicked scream filled the house and Bee’s scared voice shriek “Gee! Help me!”
    I sighed and jumped up from the couch Frankie following. “You better get home, it’s going to be a long night.”
     
  7. Chapter 40

    Do I have anyone reading this?
    -----------------------------------------------------------------------
    Chapter 40
    Bob’s P.O.V

    “What the hell Mom!”
    My Dad and my insanely deluded Mom are stood in front of me, she had that stupid snarl permanently moulded to her lips and her eyes half closed into angry slits; he had a saddened expression from having to leave his new family to deal with his old one.
    Apparently, Mom had showed up at Dad’s house thinking he was still with her and cheating on her, he had brought her back home and explained their divorce but she drove off when my Dad called Lucy to explain everything; that was when she came and got me.
    “Everyone in this family seems to be f**king a wh**e around here!” she seethed, her hands on her hips, clenched jaw.
    “What are you on about Mom!? Bee is not a wh**e, you don’t know her, it’s not you talking it’s your messed up head... I’m out of here, I can’t deal with this anymore.” I growled and stood from the couch and began to storm from the room.
    “Sit down!”My Dad snapped and I froze mid-step, “Your Mom is sick, can’t you see that? I know you know, I know you’ve avoided it since we found out but you need to face it and help! No more being a kid and running away from life when it gets hard! I know you’re happy with Bee, we are happy for you, we only want what’s best but you have to remember you have priorities at home too! To look after your mom you need to be home every night after work or school, you need to think of her too, you can fit time with Bee in some other time but right now you need to stop being so selfless and help your mom. She got fired from school because of it! You might have to too, Son I know this is hard for you but I will help, Lucy will help too, we are a phone call away and we can always drop by.”
    “I can’t just throw my life away for her, for once in my god damned life I’m happy and you’re taking it away.” I whisper my back turned staring at the cream paint on the plain wall in front of me; a wall that used to hold frames with calming pictures of sunsets and beaches now lay on the floor in a broken mess.
    “Stop talking about me behind my back like I’m not here‼” Mom yells from behind me and I turn to watch her hands cupping her ears shaking and pacing back and forth in front of the brown leather couch.
    “She take her pills yet?” my eyes dart back to him stood there with his arms folded like he’s better than me, he doesn’t know poop, he hasn’t had to deal with her for 7 years... standing there in his perfect family man pristine white shirt and grey suit pants perfectly pressed and steamed, his black tie perfect length and knot, polished black shoes and bleach blonde hair... who is this guy, Dr. Cullen? He sure looked like it, pale and still with his deep azure eyes burning.
    “I don’t know.” My dad deflates and looks at least a little bit remorseful.
    “Did you ask her?” I continued to glare, my eyes flicking back to my mom every now and then to check she hadn’t gone near the broken glass, she was sat on the couch with her head in her hands shaking uncontrollably.
    “No, I didn’t think she would give me an answer, she’s not the best of state to ask questions to.” He huffed and jerked his head in her direction.
    “Mom, have you taken your meds today?” I approached her slowly and sat on the couch beside her, speaking in a soft calm voice like I had been told, I tried not to freak her out my slowly wrapping and arm around her in comfort.
    “No.” She sniffled and held still before swiftly snuggling in to hug me, her head resting against my chest and her thin frame curled up.
    “Well lets sort that shall we?” I soother her kissing the top of her head and rubbing her back, she sniffles and nods against me, I relax her arms and drop them from around my back to move into the kitchen.
    I grab her med bottles from her cupboard and a glass of water setting it all down so I can still see into the living room where she is sat.
    As I uncap the bottle tops I feel my dad’s presence hover behind me. “I’m sorry.” He whispers and I can hear how truthful his words are from his deep wobbling voice.
    “It’s too late for apologises Dad, I don’t need your sympathy and I don’t need your pity. I refuse your help, she isn’t your problem anymore, is she?” I grumble snapping at him and shaking out the amount of dosages carefully.
    “Bob, don’t be like that, I only wa-“ he puts his hand on my shoulder but I knock it off twisting around to get right up in his face cutting him off.
    “You only want to what Dad!? Be supportive? Be a good dad? Well don’t bother you withdrew your support when you divorced and you sure as hell don’t need to bother being a good dad to me anymore! Go home! Go be with your perfect family! Go be with your son and bring him up the right way, without having poop dumped on his shoulders from the age of 8 and family that truly loves him, go give Leo the life he deserves and forget about me! forget about us! We don’t need you, we haven’t needed you for 7 years and we sure as hell don’t need you now!” I snap.
    “Leo needs his brother.” He interjects.
    “I’m not his brother, I’m just the kid you left behind, the bastard of the wacko you were married to!” I yell and glare at him, my words make him flinch and as the blood floods my brain I see his run cold.
    “Don’t say that, your my son, my flesh and bl-“ He whispered broken and cold.
    “Just go! I don’t want you here anymore! Get the f**k out of my house and out of my life!” I push him with the strength of a thousand cuts, the anger of a thousand blades and the pain of every single one I have suffered.
    And he did. He left the kitchen, through the house and out the front door. SLAM! He was gone.

    I waited for my mom’s meds to take effect, she was curled up in my arms again sobbing, I stared blankly at the turned off T.V frozen with grief and pain.
    “I don’t want you to see that girl again, I need my Bobby home, promise?” her thin hand reached up to cup my cheek.
    I couldn’t promise her to stay away, I needed Bee like I needed air, I would turn crazy without her. I needed to think of a way to see her, I’d see her at school but I needed time with her, would she still want me? I shouldn’t have left like that but I knew too well from experience if I hadn’t it could have gotten a lot worse. My mom could be lethal sometimes; I learnt that from experience, I learnt that from the arms list of doctors I had spoken to the past 3 years as it started to get worse. I thought she was doing well, especially in school, I thought the public environment had helped her but obviously it hadn’t only made it worse. This wasn’t her end, it was her beginning, like she had been climbing the steps of a water ride at Raving Rivers and she was finally at the top, she could only go down and it was going to be one hell of a ride... I just dreaded what was at the bottom.
    “I promise.” I mumble and pray to anything holy that I’m strong enough for this.
    “I love you Bobby.” She yawns as her meds set in.
    “I love you too Mom.” I whisper and realise she’d already asleep.
    I carry her and tuck her into bed before getting to work.
    I put everything useless or ruined in the trash, I protect every corner or edge in case she were to hurt herself, box everything she could pick up and throw but glue down everything she would notice daily so it doesn’t freak her out, I add locks to every cabinet, cupboard, door, window and draw, I hid every chemical and every solution in the house(soaps included), keys to the car and house, take down every mirror and every photo frame, I unhook the phone and set up an emergency button my grandma used to use so if she pressed it she would instantly call me, I cleaned and stored everything back in a safe place before I finally am able to curl up on my bed and attempt to call Bee.
    She doesn’t answer.
    I don’t think I deserve to be answered.
    After a couple of tries... okay 81... I give up and cry.
    Every tear that spills from my eyes reminds me of weakness and lost hope, the people I’ve loved and the people I’ve lost, the person asleep in the room next door who is no longer the mom I once had, my band that I may never properly start a carrier from, my dad and how I treated him like poop, Leo who will never have his super hero brother and Bee, the girl I live and breathe for, my guiding light, my smile and heart.
    With every tear comes a cut and euphoric pain washes over me, I deserved it, I cut and cut until I think I’ve gone too far. Blood stains my sheets and the flow of blood continues in some places as it heals in others, the cuts have merged into one and are highlighted against my pale skin.
    I carry on crying and sobbing as I wash my sheets and clothes then finally myself, the burn and sting of the cuts wake me up and my body starts to shut down. By morning I was still awake, hunched over the toilet puking up air.


    Frank’s P.O.V

    It had been 6 weeks since Bee and Mikey’s birthday and it had all changed. Bee didn’t hang out with us anymore, when she got back to school Alisha and Kaitlynn instantly became her best friends, Kaitlynn was a nice girl who just needed a friend. Bob barely had time for us anymore as he had to look after his mom, he managed to fit some time in for our band and he tried to talk to Bee but she wouldn’t let him. Every time I saw Bob he looked like a zombie, thin and pale with purple shadows under his eyes, his hair was always messy and he was almost silent when we were around.
    Gee and Ray were at college and only made it home on weekends and I missed him, I was afraid he’d find someone else but every time he came home there was this passion and fire which made me know he loved me and only me.
    Mikey was worried about Bee; he hadn’t seen her at school for the past 2 weeks and she hadn’t been home, her room was trashed and her things were gone. She had just left, we tried looking for her but we had no luck, thier mom reassured us she was okay, that she had spoke with Bee before she left and she’s be okay. We weren’t buying it.
    However she left us with this:
    When you find this I will be gone.
    Don’t come after me, don’t call the police, don’t tell Mom...
    I need a break, just some time alone.
    I will see you shortly.
    Don’t worry about me when I’m gone I just need some space to clear my head.
    I love you,
    Rebecca-Bandit.
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Someone comment? xxx
     
  8. Holy crap.. I feel so bad for Bee, poor thing. Her dad just makes me want to throw up. She really, really needs therapy.. Bob really shouldnt have the entire responsibility of taking care of his mom. His dadjust decided to divorce her because he couldn't handle it? Just pass along responsibility to your son then. I feel bad for his mom too, it's an awful thing to have but Bee makes Bob really happy and she should see that. BEE. TALK.TO.BOB. Nooooo don't hurt yourself Bob. I really hope Bee's safe.. Really great updates :)
     
  9. Chapter 41

    Yay I have a commenter!!
    Cyanide Sparks: I liked Bob's dad until I wrote that, then I had an urge to punch him, I have a family member with Alzheimer's too. I don't know whether I think Bee needs to see a therapist I think she needs some sort of release... like her poem in one of the begining chapters... remember 'Angel'?
    I am starting to get to the end of the fic now... maybe finish from chapters 45-50... HOWEVER! depending on feedback/comments I have began to write and planned a sequel... :w00t:
    So here is chapter 41!!!
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Chapter 41
    Bee’s P.O.V

    3 months later

    A little over 3 months ago I ran away to live with my Auntie Marie, I needed to get away, however I was treated more like a maid.
    I was ignored and disrespected.
    I would sit in my room in the attic alone in the dark; I would think about everything, I would just sit there and go over where I went wrong and whether I will ever be able to escape the memories of Bob.
    I would sit and think about life, death, choices, loss, regrets and love. But mainly Bob, I had abandoned him when he needed it most, what if when I return he’s gone? It will be my fault. I love him.
    I only got a couple of hours of sleep before having to restart my day... wake up, breakfast for the kids, dress the kids for school, take the kids to school, go back home before doing all the household chores and cooking everyone’s dinner, then pick the kids up from school, help with their homework before being ordered to my room.
    And that continues all week until the weekend and I have to take them to either one of their dance classes, sport matches, doctors appointments, friends houses, wash their clothes, clean plates and floors, go to get groceries with either one or two kids stropping about going, then go where they wanna go, get home and cook dinner and finally after dinner and a little TV take them to bed.
    I would often get nightmares about things I didn’t want on my mind or my worst fears. I had bags under my eyes making them sore, swollen and bug eyed. I sometimes passed out if I hadn’t eaten or slept and I would have to lie unconscious until I could get up and carry on my work. Mom would drop by to check on people but as usual I was treated as if I was nonexistent. It was as if I was just deleted.
    Everything made me depressed, I ran away to stop depression, so I wouldn’t pass it on like a cold. Alisha had suggested I take a break, she knew how broken up I was about Bob, I ignored Kaitlynn’s idea of talking it through with him. I shouldn’t have, I missed him, I missed his gentle touch and warm strength.
    I dreamt of being with him and everything was normal and he still loved me, where we were on a real beach looking up at the stars and holding each other tight. However when I woke up I was still my aunts slave, living in the attic without any source of heating and it was getting colder as it neared Christmas.
    I was sent out for presents and bits and for the kids. It was gonna be my first Christmas in a long time not being locked up at school or at a teacher’s house pretending to be happy.
    But now I wasn’t in school with my teacher, I was in a house with my auntie still pretending to be happy.

    One night I snuck out, I grabbed the keys to my car and drove back to the home I wanted to be in so much, but I couldn’t... I couldn’t go back.
    I knew they were playing a gig tonight at the bar Frank had taken me to to listen to his favourite punk bands that I got interested in.
    I sat on the other side of the street in complete darkness watching the lit up house... I was stalking my own home.
    It was a long while after I parked that they finally turned off a few lights and all the guys walked out the house with various instruments, my mom was stood on the porch waving as they pulled away, she noticed me as I started the engine and gave me a small nod and a wave which I returned and drove off following the guys in my black car.
    I arrived not long after they did but held back in the car waiting for last minute then go in.
    I was grateful on my black appearance and the hood on my jacket that I wrapped around me tightly.
    I began to watch this place fill with people, it wasn’t enough to get lost in but I could defiantly hide in the crowd... if my anxiety doesn’t kick in.
    It was dying down a bit and I decided to go for it. I got out my car making sure it was locked and hurried inside the bar.

    They were on stage and I had enough time to hide at the back camouflaged in black. I turned to the bar ordering a coke and sipping it as the guys prepared to launch.
    "Hey guys, we are My Chemical Romance!" Gerard shouted into the microphone he looked a bit drunk but I couldn’t tell.
    "This is for a very special gal that is in all our hearts." Gerard closed his eyes letting his mind relax.
    And the band began to play.
    It was amazing, Frank went wild whilst playing and ended up on the floor a number of times. I hadn’t realised I was smiling so much until someone stood next to me.
    "You like them?" The guy next to me covered in darkness asked.
    "Yeah they are f**king awesome!" I smiled... 'Sister helping increase moral for awesome band'- tick.
    "I don’t know, I have been to a lot of their gigs and every time they mention this girl... I think it darkens the mood." He leant against the counter only revealing some of his purple highlighted hair.
    I knew that girl was me, it was obvious. I looked at the guys on stage... they all looked like poop and very zombielike. Bob was emotionless as he drummed, he looked like he hadn’t moved in a while and was now bored.
    Gerard looked slightly gloomy but still had a smile on his face as he sang... even if it was forced, his raven locks now cut short and snappy very neatly which I liked on him it made him look younger.
    "They are my family." I smiled while my eyes fixed on the screen.
    "That’s cool, so how about I get you a drink?" He asked leaning on the counter.
    "No I'm fine thanks." I hadn’t had alcohol in a while, if I had one would I go back into that emotionless out of control state.
    "You sure Babydoll?" He smirked as he reached out to touch my hair but I recoiled and backed away.
    "I'm pretty sure thanks." I gave a fake smile while disappearing further to the back of the bar pulling my hood closer. I was now in complete darkness.
    I stood and listened to them play. They were really good! Extremely awesome!

    They began the last song and I instantly felt myself move from the shadows slightly so that I wasn’t fully hidden.
    I stood and watched bobbing my head a little.

    As the last song ended I felt eyes bore into mine and I saw Frank looking at me in disbelief, the rest of the guys disappearing off stage. I kept his eyes and brought my finger to my lips then signalled to the corner, he nodded stiffly and disappeared.
    I leaned against the bar."I'll take a vodka and coke." I told the guy behind the bar.
    He nodded and got my drink. I was gonna need it.
    The bar was silent until the stereo system kicked in and some crap music I wasn’t into blared from the speakers. I grabbed my drink and gave him the only money I had brought with me.
    I returned to the corner and waited running my fingers on the rim of my glass... it had been a long time since I drank this poop.

    It wasn’t long before I was attacked in a hug. "Bee! We were so worried about you! Where did you go?" Frank asked not letting go of me.
    "You didn’t tell them did you? Please Frankie don’t, I came to see you play and I was at my aunts." I begged him not to tell the others.
    "Of course I didn’t tell them and I promise your secret is safe with me, I'm glad you are safe." He looked at me, I was still hidden in black.
    "Thank you Frankie really, how is everyone?" I asked resting my hands on the tops of his shoulders.
    "Okay, Gee and I were a little depressed but we have the band to cheer us up I guess, Mikey’s acting as if you’re still there, Ray’s speaking a lot more Portuguese than he used to and Bob is Bob... he acts as if he’s fine but the eyes tell it all and lets’ say his wrists too." Frank frowned.
    "I'm sorry it’s just after everything I had to have a little break, I didn’t know it would turn out like this." I shook my head bringing my hands up to my face.
    "I understand Bee I really do, just come home, we miss you and I don’t know how long Gee's gonna last in his current mood he’s just moaning about everything and there’s no positive, it scares me Bee." He looked at his hands making me feel extremely guilty.
    "Really that bad?" I asked in disbelief.
    "Yeah it feels weird without you Bee." He let out a sigh before turning to look towards the door near backstage. Then turned back to me. "How are you?"
    "To be honest guilty as f**k but I’m okay, a bit stressed and over worked but I fell okay, I don’t have time to think anymore and that helps but I know it’s there and I know you guys are waiting for me at home, it makes me feel empty and incomplete like back in school." I took a long gulp of my drink and I felt the burn hit the back of my throat from the vodka.
    "Come home then please just think about it?" He pleaded his eyes back on the door.
    "Just go Frank I’m fine so no need worry about me, go and say 'a fan said she hopes to see you soon and that gal is out there.' Don’t tell them anything about tonight." I ordered and left him standing in the corner, I put my drink down and returned to my car watching out the window as the guys loaded the van.

    Frank’s P.O.V

    I joined the guys as they helped Bob pack his drums. "She was here." I mumbled as they packed, I needed to say it; I had to let it out.
    Gerard and Bob’s head snapped round and stared at me. "How’d you know?" Bob growled not agreeing.
    "I just know." I shrugged.
    "No you don’t Frank you met her didn’t you behind our backs!?" Gerard saw the look in my eyes that said I was lying.
    "She’s doing okay." I stated not letting it suede me.
    "For f**ks sake!" Bob growled and jumped in the van with face like thunder.

    When we got back to the Way’s there was a pile of red wrapped Christmas presents for all of us.
    We picked them up and hurried inside.
    ‘I love you guys, Bee xx’
    There was a pack addressed to all of us so I opened it and inside were 5 black arm bands with a red ‘MCR’ sewn in the middle and white guns in a circle around it leaving one out red.

    Gee unwrapped his personal gift first to find a cute Planet of the Apes t-shirt, he began to tear up and instantly put it on “It smells like her.” He sniffled and I realised my big hero, my big teddy bear missed his little sister.

    Then it was my turn, mine was small so I wondered what it was, I shook the little box and it rattled. Opening it, inside I found a misfits watch... a rare misfits watch... it must have cost and arm and a leg.

    Ray had a box full of cherry Dr. Pepper and Mikey had a really awesome jacket with zips on the front.

    Bob opened his last. It was a scrap of paper hidden in a box full of red confetti hearts.
    In Bee's perfected handwriting, it read:
    ‘Hand in mine, into your icy blues
    And then I'd say to you we could take to the highway
    With this trunk of ammunition too
    I'd end my days with you in a hail of bullets.

    I'm trying, I'm trying
    To let you know just how much you mean to me
    And after all the things we put each other through... and,

    I would drive on to the end with you
    A liquor store or two keeps the gas tank full
    And I feel like there's nothing left to do
    But prove myself to you and we'll keep it running

    But this time, I mean it
    I'll let you know just how much you mean to me
    As snow falls on desert sky
    Until the end of everything
    I'm trying, I'm trying
    To let you know how much you mean
    As days fade, and nights grow
    And we go cold.
    I still love you -Bee xx’
    And for the first time Bob cried in front of us.
     
  10. Beeeeeeeeee. Go homeeeeee. I'm glad she's decided to go somewhere that she won't self-destruct but she deserves to be treated so much better. I realllllly just want give the guys a hug. Especially Bob.. ugh he has soo much on his shoulders with just his mom, amd then he's heartbroken on top of that. The part where they opened the presents made me grin like an idiot and tear up a little at the same time. BOB'S PRESENT. OMFG I CRIED LIKE A BABY. It was so perfect and heart wrenching.. I hope this makes sense because I'm really tired, but I had to comment since my internet was fixed. I adore this fic and am ecstatic at the possibility of a sequel, but I totally respect whatever you choose :)
     
  11. Chapter 42

    Cyanide Sparks: This is a very weird chapter... Bee flips her poop, very much like I do when someone pisses me off or I get aggitated...Thanks for the comment...
    Enjoy Chapter 42!
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Chapter 42

    Bee’s P.O.V

    I decided to go back, back to school and maybe back home, a few days after New Years I moved in with Alisha and her parents. They liked me there, it was like I had brought peace into their home, whenever Alisha mentioned home to me before it was loud and hurtful but with me there it was mellow and I think they admired me for that- for bringing peace.
    On the first day back I had a new confidence walking down the halls, I caught Bob’s eye once or twice and he smiled, a real smile only I hardly believed he was fine by his drained and hollow face almost skeletal and his busted lip.
    Kaitlynn had dragged me around proudly and she even made a big effort with my make up in the bathroom before homeroom, my hair had stayed short and choppy as I liked it and had been covered with a baseball cap but she took it and fluffed my hair up exposing my bleach blonde hair.
    By lunch I had more male attention than I would have liked and put my cap back on, it had began to rain too and I peeked out to see if Mikey, Frank and Bob were under the willow but no one was there.

    Mikey walked up to his locker near mine and I saw how wet the top half of his body was and his eyes were red and sore, his body slumped forward hunched over in a slouch like he wanted to hide away and disappear but I wasn’t going to let that happen.
    After running my fingers over one of my pictures for strength I slammed my locker shut and stormed down the hall with loud heavy footsteps that would have made anyone flinch.
    He looked up at me with those rough hazel eyes and I felt my veins burn at how hurt he looked and felt.
    "What the f**k happened?" I scowled looking at his damp neck hole on his hoodie and the smell of pine freshener radiating off him in the worst way possible.
    "Nothing Bee" he sighed and shoved his books into the metal structure so old it almost shivered as if threatening to collapse.
    "Doesn’t look or smell like nothing Michael, now tell me, who the f**k did this to you?" I demanded to know.
    "Just some kid honest bee it’s nothing I don’t need help or pity." He scowled back with a face like he was about to cry about the fact I was the only girl with big enough balls to face it.
    "Cut the crap Mike’s and tell me or I swear to f**king god I’ll hit you where it f**king hurts." I warned one of my hands on my hip and the other pointing Mikey in the face up close.
    He didn’t need to answer up front because it was obvious by his face when a guy walked down the hall scowling and glaring only Mikey was more in fear to reply than anything else, his face cringed and he whimpered from the guts burning eyes.
    Everything was slow motion and before I knew it he had gone.
    "Him... he did this... that Bert dude." I grumbled.
    Mikey nodded not looking away from his shoes.
    "Sick motherf**kers like him deserve to be f**king prosecuted." I snarled.
    "Bee it’s fine honest, it’s nothing." He sighed.
    "No its not Mikes I’ve had f**king enough of this." I exploded and with anger pulsing through me I stormed down the corridor with fists balled at my side.
    “Hey sick f**k!" I hollered after him, the Bert guy turned around with a little fire in his eyes.
    "What did you just say?" He smirked looking down at me with cockiness in his eyes.
    "I said you are one sick f**k. You really think putting some poor kids head in a toilet is gonna change him well it’s not. It’s just a f**king game to you isn’t it sick f**k? A game you started playing because somewhere in that f**ked up brain of yours behind all the lies and fake happiness is a lame kid with a shitty life that he has to beat kids up for fun and use them as a punch bag for all your f**king faults and shitty life to be set free and squashed into someone else!" I all but screamed at him shoving him and pushing him hard until I was over him on the floor. "Got nothing to say now have you sickf**k I know for a fact that in that pretty little head of yours is a life pretty much as f**ked up as ours and you can’t even admit it to yourself. What makes you think you are so goddamn special that you can just kick people around like that huh because you Bert McCracken are no f**king saint and I swear to f**king god if you ever touch no if you ever come near Mikey or any one of my family I will make your life a f**king hell starting with cutting off your dick with rusty garden shears and ramming yourself down your throat until you choke to death you pathetic asswhole!" I yelled as I punched him in the jaw and nose drawing blood and feeling as if I had used him for my own personal punching bag.
    The next thing I knew was I was being grabbed off of Bert by either Frank or Bob and the hallway was clearing.
    "What the f**k was that Bee what if he'd have hit back what if you'd got caught and suspended?" Frank snapped.
    "I was fed up with people being treated like poop. And after Mike’s i just-woah oww f**k." I was cut off by a pain stabbing and twisting in my stomach that made me hunch over in pain.
    "Bee, you ok?" Bobs voice was in my ear and my eyes scrunched up in pain.
    "f**k no ahh f**k I think I’m gonna puke." I gulped and leapt towards one of the bins, luckily everyone had vanished for homeroom so no one but the guys saw me spill my guts and all my brain cells.
    "Are you okay? Do you want me to take you to the nurse?" Bob asked rubbing up and down my back sending electric shocks through my skin but was masked by the twisting and tugging in the pit of my stomach.
    "I’m fine it’s just f**k it’s like I’m being stabbed." I gasped as I stayed hunched over holding onto Bob’s arm.
    "She doesn’t look good Bob she’s poop pale... where’s Mikey?" Frank asked standing ready to jump or act fast if needed.
    "He went to clean himself up... Frank!" I heard Bob’s voice zone out as I slumped and passed out letting my body go weak and my eyes slip shut unconscious from the pain.

    My eyes fluttered open when i felt something cold press to my wrist and something damp on my forehead.
    A new school nurse stood above me looking at me worried but relieved. "Bee, honey, you fainted on us and to be honest scared the guys to death." She patted my forehead.
    "I think I’m gonna be sick." I grumbled and turned on my side as a bucket was brought to my face and threw up the emptiness of my insides I felt a pair of hands I knew too well were Mikey’s holding my hair short back and tying as much as it would go into a band.
    I lay back and groaned... I didn’t want anyone seeing me like this.
    "We tried your mom honey but she was busy so you are my responsibility now, I’m Nurse McGuire." The nurse told me putting a fresh bucket next to the bed thing.
    I looked around and saw Mikey standing nibbling away on his nails and Bob sat biting his thumbnail not looking straight at me.
    "How’d you guys get off?" I asked turning my spinning head to Mikey.
    "Cus I was worried and Bob went into pure panic mode freaked out and I was pretty sure he was gonna like die of a heart attack." he smiled running his hand down my arm. He looked bored and impatient as he begun to drum his fingers into the bed.
    "If you need to be somewhere go Mikes I’ve got Bob and Nurse McGuire to look after me I’ll be fine" I looked at him as sincerely as I could.
    "I’ve got a last minute assessment to hand in... as long as your okay I’ll go." Mikey pondered slipping one of his straps to his backpack on his shoulder.
    "Just go Mike’s I’m fine." I nodded and said goodbye as he slipped out the nurse’s office and down the hall.
    "Oww urgg ffff." I groaned as the stabbing pain returned a little lower resisting my urge to swear.
    "Just lie back Bee then I can prod around okay but that’s what they’d do anywhere else." The nurse instructed me.
    I was aware that Bob had moved to my side and was playing with my ring distractingly.
    “Okay now?" She asked. I nodded swallowing in realisation of what she was gonna do. "Let me just feel around to test and see if I can feel anything." She said as she prodded and ran her hands over my cold uncovered fat stomach. I blushed and resisted the urge to stop her.
    "All done... from what I felt it is quite solid and nothing seemed twisted... also you need to put some weight on like seriously I could feel half your bones sticking through your skin." she noted and I blushed again.
    "If I put any more weight on I’d be a Rinosaurus." I sighed and sat up pulling on the hoodie bob offered which was his.
    "It’ll do you good anyway you’re fine maybe it was just cramps or something or something you ate." She suggested.
    "Maybe" I nodded and starred awkwardly at my hands.
    "Can I take her home?" Bob asked wrapping his arm around my waist as I stood.
    "Yeah sure... now remember to be careful honey, take some Tylenol and relax.” The nurse smiled as I left the office.

    The drive in Bob’s car was like no other drive in my life, he held my hand and I held it right back, I felt whole again having him next to me in the small car.
    “I missed this, I missed you, I missed us.” I sighed and turned to look at his calm face.
    He parked on the drive and I noticed the pile of crap car had gone. “Me too.” He smiled shyly.
    “You’ll come inside right?” I ask and squeeze his hand.
    “Of course.” He squeezes back and opens his car door.

    Inside we sit on the couch, hands still linked and sad smiles on our faces, my hand reached up and my cold fingers lightly pressed to the gash in his lip. “How’d you get this?”
    “My mom.” He flinches and I pull my fingers away. “Ever since y’know, she’s gotten worse, I know one day it’ll kill her or she’ll end up killing herself.”
    “What about your dad what’s he done to help?” I ask moving closer and placing the hand from his lip to his knee.
    “Nothing. That same night I told him I didn’t need his help and I told him to leave. He did. I never realised how hard it was to look after her on my own again, I mean I had before but it wasn’t this bad, she doesn’t even realise she’s doing it half the time.” he sighs and I see the sadness well up in his eyes.
    “I’m sorry I left when you needed me most, I’m sorry I didn’t give you a chance. “ I sniffled and prayed for a hug, a kiss; anything just let me know he forgave me.
    “Why come back now though, why show up at the gig, why run away?” he looked into my eyes and I looked back into his clear ocean blue ones.
    “Because I miss you, I wanna be there for you and I wanted you back but couldn’t deal with the rejection.” I told him truthfully, his touch was electric and ever single nerve cell sparked to life tingling at the sensation.
    “I want you back, I want you in my life again, please just come home.” He begged.
    I replied with a kiss and he replied with a hug, all the pain in my body was gone and replaced with ecstasy as we came together again.
     
  12. That was awesome, I'm glad that Bee stood up for Mikey and that she has a better home. I still have the urge to punch Bob's dad in the throat. Aw Bee... THANK f**k THEY'RE BACK TOGETHER!!
     
  13. Chapter 43

    Cyanise Sparks: Yes they are back together, yay, :)... but just wait until things go down-hill...just read to find out...
    This all kinda happens fast so brace yourselves...
    LONG CHAPTER SO PREPARE WITH SKITTLES AND COFFEE :p
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Chapter 43

    Bee’s P.O.V

    Later that night Kaitlynn called to ask how I was feeling, having heard about my passing out.
    She told me about how in 6 weeks she was driving to the big apple to see her dad and she was overjoyed that it was the first time in 5 years since he had been on tour with his band.

    When I woke up the morning after she left, I cried in Bob’s arms, she was in a car accident on the Jersey turnpike. She was crushed to death by a truck, I was the last person to talk to her when I called before she left to wish her luck and made plans to see a band travelling into town when she got back, her dad had been worried sick when she didn’t show up and had called me in the early hours when I was still asleep in Bob’s arms.

    3 weeks later the funeral was held, they had delayed it because of the details and investigations of her death, they had thought she was drugged up at the time and it was an act of suicide. I didn’t believe a word of crap they said.
    It was a private funeral; Alisha and I were invited with a few family members. It wasn’t a funeral where grief hung in the air, it was one where her life was celebrated, she loved music and many of her favourite pieces where played, the little lyrics booklet with prayers and readings was purple-her favourite colour and had a beautiful picture of her on the front taken after a night out for a showcase by me, her hair was super long with extensions, eyes popping with soft liner, thick eyelashes and her lips were a bright red.

    On the way home I walked past the woods, her favourite place to go, I was taken by surprise when someone called my name. "Bee! Rebandit!" Someone called from over the street; I turned to see who it was... Luke.
    "Urmm, hey Luke, can I help you with something?" I responded.
    "Good... great... can you do me a favour?" He replied looking slightly worried and urgent.
    "Yeah sure." I replied feeling concerned.
    "Just come with me." he pulled me slightly into the wood.
    "Why what’s the favour?" I didn’t want to go in the woods with a guy I’d only met about twice.
    He grabbed me by the hair causing me to scream out in pain. "Shut up! Now move!" He ordered and dragged me deep into the wood. I was so scared and I started to panic. Screaming out for Bob...
    "Shut up! Bob won’t help you, you're nothing!" He snarled in my ear.
    He then smashed me up against a tree scratching my face pressing it on the bark. I whimpered and he grabbed my hair tighter pulling it back, my head with it.
    "Now you listen to me, you don’t scream, you don’t tell... or I will f**king kill you. You got that? Now shut up!" he snarled turning me around and looked me over letting go of my hair and holding down my arms and legs with his elbows and knees.
    I was in total shock, what the hell is happening!? Why me?
    I was completely frozen; I could feel his hand trail down my stiff body. I closed my eyes and I could feel his hands linger on my chest; I was panicking so much I couldn’t move... I didn’t know what to do.
    "You are sick you know that... no one loves you, no one cares you are just Bryar’s little f**k toy... not anymore you're mine!" He snarled in my ear. "You know why you were sent to that catholic school?" He snapped.
    My eyes closed; slowly I moved my hand into my pocket grabbing the maize I began to carry around when I was on my own.
    "Look at me when I’m f**king talking to you!" He pushed my head back so it hit the tree causing a large cracking sound I snapped my eyes open in pure fear.
    "They sent you to rid the wh**e f**king devil out of you! Didn’t work, did it? You piece of poop! Keep f**king still!" He ordered as I moved the maize in my hand to the correct position to spray.
    With one quick flash I pulled my hand up and squirted him in the eyes allowing his to release me and for me to swing at his jaw. I scrabbled to get my bag and ran out of the woods and down the street, my whole body was shaking, it began to rain and my tears blurred my vision as I ran.
    Salty tears washed over my cheeks and trickled onto my black skater dress I had bought for the funeral, I looked across the other side of the street as I ran down the sidewalk away from the woods, looking over to see if I could see Bob where we agreed to meet before going to their gig. And lucky old me had a backstage pass. I didn’t know what to feel as I saw him; I should have felt distraught about what had just happened, that I was almost raped but I didn’t- I had no emotion, it was like it hadn’t happened... only fear began to well up in my chest and tears continued to fall.
    But there was Bob, across the street, looking handsome in his new black skinny jeans and his black shirt with a red tie and ‘MCR’ band on his arm... he was soaked making his shaggy hair flat and almost brown, he stood with the most adorable smile on his face stood on the corner of Westbury street.
    I smiled and began to run across the road to him.
    Then it went black, I couldn’t feel anything but damp and cold spreading over my body.

    Bob’s P.O.V

    I had turned for a slight second when I heard an ear-splitting screech of tires losing control and a scream that stabbed me and passed through me in pain. I felt cold. I felt sick. I felt faint. Everything in slow motion as I stood in horror not wanting to look.
    I turned my head in a flash and my knees weakened at the sight.
    Bee was lay in the middle of the road in a sprawled out position, blood running from various places and she lay limp, her chest barely moving. My legs ran to her almost falling as I ran to help the one person I couldn’t live without.
    Cars stopped around her and the rain bounced off the ground, I crouched down next to her my tears falling onto her cheeks as I smoothed her hair back and held her hand, leaning down to hear is she was breathing, checking her over for a pulse.
    “Bee, can you hear me? Bee, baby, wake up. Open your eyes for me, princess. Please.” I begged and pressed my ear against her chest before I ordered an onlooker to call an ambulance and tried CPR.
    Nothing was happening.
    I wouldn’t let her go. She couldn’t leave me. I would help her fight for the life she deserves.
    “Wake up! Wake up! Please! Don’t let go! Don’t you give up on me!” I sob and cry holding her to me afraid to move anything else.
    “I love you.” I whispered before the ambulance arrived and we were carted off to hospital.

    “Name?” the nurse asked as she was wheeled through the hospital.
    “Rebecca-Bandit Way.” I replied.
    “Age and birthday?”
    “17 and September 10th 94.” I tried to think straight but my angel was laid there on that gurney unresponsive.
    “Any medications taken within the last 36 hours?” she rattled off questions whilst writing on her clipboard.
    “Not that I know off.” I rubbed the back of my neck and hoped the guys and Donna would get here soon as I had called them from the ambulance.
    “And your relationship?” she paused and looked up at me as Bee was rolled through surgery doors.
    “Boyfriend.” I replied. “Is she going to be okay? Can you tell me anything?” I pleaded looking hopeful.
    “Your girlfriend, Mr. Umm-“ she raised her eyebrows waiting.
    “Bryar.”
    “Mr. Bryar, she has a collapsed lung, possible broken leg and arm and ruptured spleen... we also how some concerns about internal bleeding... we need to run some tests but for now we need you to be strong and wait till she is out of surgery, take a seat Mr. Bryar, can I get you anything... coffee or a water?”
    My heart shattered, I stumbled into a seat shaking my head, I didn’t want that crap right now... I needed a f**king proper drink. My Bee was through those doors being worked on and poked and prodded and I was out here while she was helpless.

    Gee, Frank, Mikey, Ray and Donna joined me half an hour later; I was scared that we had no news and the hallway was quiet.
    “Did the nurse say what sort of tests they were running?” Mikey asked as he bit his nails nervously.
    I shook my head and rested it back on the wall behind me.
    “I’m going to see if they have any news.” Donna stood and walked down the hall to the nurse’s desk where we could hear the tapping of the keys on a keyboard and click of a mouse as she asked. “Hello, do you have any news on Rebecca-Bandit Way? She was taken into surgery about half an hour ago.”
    I heard a small click before a reply. “She regained consciousness in surgery, caused a bit of a stir; they managed to fix up her lung and doctors are wrapping up her broken bones this very minute.”
    “They mentioned tests; can you tell me anything about those?” Donna’s voice sounded anxious.
    “I can’t tell you, her surgery should be over within the hour and a doctor should be out to tell you about her condition.” The nurse sounded nice and polite but something didn’t feel right.

    Four hours later and nothing, I began to give up hope, so I did what any person would do. I went to pray.
    The chapel of the hospital was small and empty, you would think with the amount of people here dying daily more people would pray for hope that thier loved ones make it and get better, you would think in the peacefulness of God’s presence I would feel better; I didn’t.
    “Por favor, ajude Bee fazê-lo através deste, para Bob e para ela, ela merece essa vida. Traga a sua saúde e confortá-la, vamos guiá-la através de anjos, dá-nos força. amem.” Ray was sat in the middle of the pews with his head in his hands. I waited until he was finished before sitting next to him.
    “Thank you.” I whisper.
    “For what?” he lifts his head and looks at me with tears in his eyes.
    “For having hope and praying for her.” I rest my hand on his shoulder and rub comforting circles knowing Bee was like a sister to him.
    “I would have done it for anyone, my Grandma would turn in her grave if I didnt, she loved Bee and at one point she was sure I would marry her one day... how wrong she was.” Ray chuckled and i smiled too.
    “You got the next best thing, luckily for me, you also got something stronger than marriage... sistership... a best friend and an angel.” Nodding towards the small cross at the front I help him up giving a small prayer in my head to her ‘Lord, please keep my angel for falling under, bring her back to me and stop her suffering as she has suffered enough, protect her and comfort her. I love her, let me spend the rest of my life with her, amen.’ I turn when I hear the stumble of footsteps and Frank’s short breath. “She’s out of surgery, they need to speak to us, Bob escpecially.”
    (Continued in next post)
     
  14. Bee’s P.O.V

    The bright lights are blinding. My body is in pure agony and tears collect in my eyes.
    “Bee , honey, your family and friends are here to see you... it’s a 3 people visiting rule but I let them in.” The nurse I saw when I woke up’s voice tells me softly and I smile as I look at the foot of my bed to the door of my room to see 6 worried faces.
    “Hey.” I croak out and wince as I try and smile.
    The nurse, Dora was it? Messes with one of my drips and needles and I fell a small jab in my vein which makes me feel like I’m gonna throw up. “The doctor will be in to see you shortly, Bee.” She smiles and I realise maybe teaching isn’t the best way to go, I mean I’m not good at science but I like the idea of being a nurse and helping people... people who may have something terminal or may have something minimal that however might change someone’s life.
    When we are alone I wonder who will be the first to talk... by the relieved look on Ray’s face I guess him... “I guess Gram’s is listening after all.” It comes out as a rushed sigh.
    “I guess she is, next time ask for a unicorn though and you will make Mikey’s day...” I smile at him and his bushy dishevelled curly afro.
    “Or he could do something else.” Frank mumbles and I crack a laugh but stop from the immense pain in my body.
    Gerard gives Frank a stiff elbow to the ribs and Bob moves to my side trying not to dislodge my numerous wires.
    “You gave me one hell of a fright, I thought I’d lost you, I thought you’d left me.” Hidden tears gleam in his eyes and the deep blue sparkles with the watery film.
    “I’d never do that, I’m sorry you saw that, I forgot I was running to you...” I sigh and feel instantly guilty and foolish I hadn’t looked when I ran.
    “It’s okay, you’re okay now and that’s all that matters.”Mikey speaks up and stands next to Bob butting in to see me.
    “I guess so, how long have you guy’s been here?” I look at the plastic soldiers stood still around my room looking at me like im a test rat.
    “Bob’s been with you since the accident, 5 hours? The rest of us about 4 and a half.” Mikey smiles and smoothes down my hair.
    “You didn’t need to, you should have gone home, come back in the morning or something.” I sigh and close my eyes from the effort to keep them open.
    “You got hit by a car Bee, we wouldn’t leave you, and you’re our family; we want you to be okay.” Gerard pats my leg from the end of the bed and I feel a little of relief for him, he isn’t taking care of me this time.
    “Mom, could you get the doctor, very slowly... I need to talk to the guy’s a minute.” I look to my mom who has been stood patiently assessing me over with her blue eyes.
    “Okay honey.” She smiles and leaves my room, I let out a big breath and so do the guys as they huddle nearer.
    “We know who hit you Bee.” Gerard looks at the guys with a new anger in his eyes.
    “Who did? I didn’t see.” I ask and take Bob’s hand.
    “Luke.” Bob snarls and I jump at the sound.
    “I don’t want him anywhere near me.” I gasp and look seriously into everyone’s eyes.
    They all nod and as I begin to close my eyes again lean over to give me kisses on the forehead and cheeks.
    I feel Bob’s hand slip from my grasp and my eyes dart open snatching it back. “Stay.” I plead.
    “I just want to find out where your ring is, I’ll be right back, I promise.” He tells me and I watch him leave.

    I must have drifted off to sleep again as I wake up when I feel something cold and smooth slip onto my finger, my eyes flutter open and I see the beautiful black sapphire on my left hand ring finger like it had never been taken off.
    In front of me is my mom, Bob and a young doctor. “Bee, I’m Doctor Dunn, I wasn’t here when you came in but I have been filled in and your case has been handed over to me.” the guy had the most lightest blue eyes I’ve ever seen, they were like silver and the rims were almost black, he had a little curly hair but not afro curly like Ray’s, it was tame and short black but long enough to need a haircut.
    “Hey, you gonna finally tell me what’s up? I mean I was hit by a car but what’s the damage... apart from a pretty large medical bill.” I say sarcastically because everything else seems to hurt, I lift my hand to gesture to sit down, I don’t like being watched.
    “Where should I start?” Dr. Dunn looks on his clipboard and scribbles something down noticing the pickup in heartbeat when I breathed in.
    “How about what you’ve fixed and then what isn’t so much fixed.” Bob mutters and I can tell he is anxious and maybe a little too overprotective.
    “You had a collapsed lung; you broke you left leg and right arm as you can see, as well as your tailbone and a ruptured spleen.” The doctors eyes bore into mine and I gasp in shock to what that car did to me, what Luke did to me, explaining my body feeling like a herd of elephants trampled me.
    “Ruptured spleen?” my eyebrows shoot up causing me to have a massive headache.
    “A small organ under your ribcage near your stomach, it contains special white blood cells that destroy bacteria and help your body fight infections. The spleen also makes red blood cells and helps remove, or filter, old ones from the body's circulation. A ruptured spleen is an emergency medical condition that occurs when the capsule-like covering of the spleen breaks open, pouring blood into your abdominal area. Depending on the size of the rupture, a large amount of internal bleeding can occur, yours was pretty big that’s why we were worried about other things.” He explains and I look down at my hospital gown wondering what it looked like underneath. “In this case, it was so bad, we had to remove it; this means an important part of your immune system is gone. Consequently, infections are more common than before the injury and removal. You will need booster vaccinations against pneumonia, hemophilus influenza type b, and meningitis. You will be prescribed a regimen of antibiotics as a preventative measure against infection and now your liver has taken over the blood filtering function now the spleen is gone.”
    “Okay but what other things?” I ask and my left hand begins to shake, the other unable to from the cast weighing it down.
    “You have a few blood clots we need to monitor; it could go to your heart any second, that’s what these bad boys are doing…” he points to the large IV’s in my hand, arm, side and one to my shoulder.
    “Gee, make me feel so at ease, any second a clot could destroy me.” I pout and look at Bob who is sat quietly holding my shaking left hand in his next to my bed looking nervously at the doctor to carry on.
    “Just stay calm, well as calm as you can be in about 30 seconds time… you have a concussion and on the scan to check for any other worries or ruptures, internal bleeding etcetera… we found out you are pregnant.” The doctor wanted to give the news happily, you could see it on his face but he knew in our situation it was bad news more than good.
    My eyes dart to Bob to watch his reaction, a startled and shocked expression shows on his face then after a few seconds fades into a small smile then nervous shock again as he slowly looks at me, I squeeze his hand and look at my mom. Her face is almost blank with a hint of surprise.
    “What?” I choke out surprised.
    “Our tests came back positive too… we were worried about the fetus’s environment and health linked with yours and had to be careful to do the procedures without interrupting the baby.” He adds.
    “How far along?” Bob whispers giving a small kiss to my knuckles.
    “8 weeks.” The doctor flicks to his notes and nods confirm. “I’ll give you guys a minute.” He says then leaves making the room eerily silent.
    “How could this happen?” Bob mumbles and lets his head fall to the bed ignoring my mom’s eyes.
    “It doesn’t work all the time Bob, accidents happen, we can’t plan every step of our lives.” I gently stroke his hair as he groans into the bed.
    “As much as I want the kid; I can’t do it. First the responsibility of my mom who in the f**king psycho right now because I couldn’t look after her because I wanted to look after you, the person I want to spend the rest of my life with but cant because of the f**ked up women who can’t remember my name or even how to put on shoes, the woman who has dragged me down into the water so far its black.” He sobs and I look to my mom who puts a supportive hand on his shoulder.
    “Bee, honey, it’s your decision what you wanna do.” She tells me but also Bob who has managed to look up and with a free hand snaked it across the sheets onto my unnoticeable bump.
    “I wanna keep it. It’s our creation, our beautiful creation, our baby.” I pull up my broken arm and place my hand on his.
    “It’s almost the end of the school year, you could hide it.” My mom suggests.
    “I don’t want any of the guys knowing about this… not until I have too, we will say I didn’t know, Gerard will go ape poop if he finds out.” I smooth my hand over my stomach and think about the beautiful baby growing inside me. “Are you still in?” I ask Bob pulling his chin up with my finger.
    “Of course, it’s us against the world remember?” he links his fingers with mine and shuffles up so his head is lay on my pillow next to me.
    “What about your mom?” I ask looking into his deep blue eyes wondering if our baby will have the same azure orbs as he does.
    “I can deal with my mom, she’s being taken care of and I’m sure I can arrange for full time care.” I see the hope in his eyes mixed with excitement and the weight dragging him down into the water has been cut… well not completely but enough to let his smile truly shine.
    “I’ll leave you lovebirds alone for a minute; I need to talk to Doctor Dunn about your care.”

    Donna’s P.O.V

    “Doctor Dunn, she fell asleep but the heart monitors slowed… she won’t wake up.” Bob interrupts my discussion with Dr. Dunn on Bee’s care, about her meds and making appointments.
    “I feared this…” He huffs and rushes into Bee’s room, “Because of her concussion it is best not to let her sleep… her blood test came back and we also have some other news… Bee has been diagnosed with myeloma; cancer of the bones affecting her bone marrow, normally new plasma cells are produced to replace old, worn-out cells in an orderly, controlled way. However, in myeloma the process gets out of control and large numbers of abnormal plasma cells, which are the myeloma cells, are produced. These fill up the bone marrow and interfere with the production of normal white cells, red cells and platelets. The myeloma cells usually produce a large amount of a single type of abnormal antibody. This is known as a paraprotein or M protein. It can’t fight infection effectively and often reduces the production of normal antibodies. Myeloma cells can spread throughout the bone marrow and into the bone, causing thinning of the bone, pain and sometimes fractures.
    we can’t start chemo or radiotherapy whilst she is in her- coma-like state.”
    “She’s in a coma?” I ask, my throat dry, as I look at my daughter lay in the blue hospital bed; her hand lay on her stomach.
    “Technically yes; however the way she responds after a day will determine that, if she is not awake within 5 days then she is deemed comatose, the baby will have to be given vitamins through IV’s.” He explains and I turn walking out the room to tell the guys.
     
  15. Oh my gosh. I'm so sad that Bee lost her friend. I think that Luke should now be run over with semi truck. And then get shoved into prison. I'm glad that she's okay though, but a baby and cancer! Wow. I hope she wakes up soon.. Great update :)
     
  16. Chapter 44

    It's coming to an end! Writing chapter 45 was so hard because I know how it has to end but it's getting to that... soo chapter 45 is either gonna be short or random... chapter 46 is probs gonna be a catch up or a fast forward...
    But for now here is CHAPTER 44!
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Chapter 44

    Bee’s P.O.V

    Long green grass fields mixed with beautiful striking yellow poppies. The dazzling sunset hits the horizon of the flowers making them glow and glisten in the warm light; everything is silent apart from my labored breath as if I had been running, from what?
    “Bee!” I hear a faint call in the distance; I strain to see against the sun, my hand on my forehead shielding my eyes. The sun bounces off the field of colour around me and I turn as I hear something rustle.
    “Boo!” a teasing voice whispers in my ear and arms loop around my waist spinning me around.
    I giggle as I swirl, a white cotton dress swishes in the breeze and the smell of honey and chocolate awakens my senses.
    “I missed you.” His soft voice is lost in my neck as he puts me down and begins to nuzzle it.
    “Where did I go?” I ask running my pale cold hands up and down his forearms basking in the smooth heat of the skin.
    “You died, Bee.” His voice is confused and cold; it has no real emotion and comes out sharp.
    “What?” I choke, my throat going dry causing it to burn, the sun has disappeared and the sky goes black with cloud as rain starts to poor.
    And then I feel cold, no body pressed to mine, no breath on my neck; I am alone.
    “I’m back Poppet, I won’t hurt you.” The husky voice of a cunning man makes my body go stiff and tense as a hand strokes my hair.
    Then I feel, alone again, I look down and my cotton dress is now a hospital gown covered in blood, my blonde hair is now brown and long… like a little girl. “I killed you once; I can kill you again.” I feel a cold hand grab my arm and I jerk it away.


    My eyes open to a dark room. The first thing my eyes see is two figures in the doorway.
    Fear creeps up in my chest but my heart monitor stays calm.
    “You’re awake.” I hear the same cold voice I heard in my dream and I begin to shake.
    “Dad?” my hoarse voice gasps.
    “Bee, I’ve been so worried, I’m so sorry what I did; I want to make it up to you.” The voice doesn’t differ or wobble and I question how sincere he is.
    “Why are you here? Who is with you?” I ask trying to see into the darkness.
    “It’s me, Bee, I came back for you.” Luke. His voice is harsh and threatening; I feel tears in my eyes and panic in my chest wanting to build up a scream but not letting me; holding it back in my chest unable to escape.
    I see the figures start to step forwards but as soon as they hit the light I call out. “Stop! Don’t you dare come any closer! Stay away from me!” I snap but my voice is hoarse.
    Those eyes. The knowing, powerful eyes, the deep muddy brown eyes of my father. Still broad shouldered and strong built muscles. His dark brown hair longer than his smart army like hair before tinted with lighter brown almost grey but makes him look handsome. The monsters have to feed off the weak, they have to catch them like any other demon, this monster- the monster I was born from- chose power and beauty… feeding off pain and hunting with the confidence of a king.
    “I know about your situation Bee, I think we all know how much of a sl*t you are, always have been…” the man behind his ‘concerned’ mask finally shows and reveals his stone attitude and ice cold heart.
    “Dad, he’s waking up, either take her or come back for her…” Luke tucks on his arm and my eyes go wide.
    Dad?” I croak and look from Luke to my father.
    “How’d you think I knew you were back? Luke is my son, you and your brothers are just Donna’s kids, I love your mother but I love my son more. He wants you, so he will have you. I did plan on coming in here and getting that bastard child out of you, but I can see you have your guards, after 4 weeks I really thought they’d have laid off the protectiveness.” My father comes closer to my side, I can see the blue veins sticking out of his skin on his hand and he puts it on the hand rail by my head and the other near one of the IV’s.
    “4 weeks?” I gulp and my eyes shoot to Gerard and Bob asleep in hospital chairs in the far corner of the room. They look peaceful but scruffy; like this is the first time they’ve slept in a while, deep bags under their eyes and dark stubble.
    “Pops, they’re waking up…” Luke nudges his arm into my, our, father and both of their eyes quickly panic before they relight deep fires in the dark irises and burning hatred towards me.
    “I’m sure they will inform you, don’t tell a soul we were here, we’ll be back… when they’ve gone.” He purrs, the most taunting purr, like a lion… evil and cold making fear and panic rise in my chest and begin to grow and grow.
    With the fear I close my eyes and wait for them to leave.

    When I open them, this time the machines work, they beep and alarm and I realize I have something on my face. I panic not knowing where I am or what’s happened, then I see doctors and nurses, I see Bob’s worried dazed face and those beautiful ocean blue eyes as he stands and watches. Everything sounds as if I’m underwater, my eyes go foggy and the pain on Bob’s face and rattling through my body makes me grit my teeth and close my eyes.
    “Bee, honey, open your eyes. Can you hear me?” a soft voice is flooded out by the sound of my pulse rushing through me.
    I lay still hoping to calm my pulse, I just feel with my body, my awareness… nothing over my mouth, I can breathe through my nose a little better, I can feel the pain of the IV’s in my arm, the shaking of my hands, something around my left leg and right arm- casts?, I feel the metal of the ring on my finger and a hand softly stroking my hair back.
    “What happened?” I whisper hoarsely, I keep my eyes closed and just try and relax.
    “You were hit by a car, remember, your leg and your arm are still damaged but the rest has been sorted out Bee… you were in a coma for 4 weeks… are you in any pain?” the voice is reassuring and I smile a little thanking her in my mind.
    “No, I’m just a little confused, I just need to find myself.” I reply and I feel her presence gone, no warmth of a hand stroking my hair just a slightly cold tingle in my hand where I feel someone holding it.
    Then soft dry lips covering mine. My eyes dart open and I see Bob’s closed ones hovering over me. I deepen the kiss a little, remembering the events before my dream, I had Bob’s baby inside me.
    “I love you.” I whisper when our lips separate and I’m looking into those beautiful azure blue orbs.


    “How’s your Mom?” I ask Bob, everyone is here and sat around me in the chairs they have seemed to have claimed whilst I was asleep.
    He looks to the floor then to our linked fingers, nervously playing with my ring. “It’s a long story, she stayed in the hospital while you were under, second week in she loses it. She goes mental, doesn’t know anything, where she is or who people are… she was so confused and she thought she was in danger. She tried to escape. I had to go and tell her she was safe but she wouldn’t listen, next thing everyone knows is she’s in a heap in the middle of the ward… she died. Heart attack, she got so worked up, her heart couldn’t keep up.” I can see the sadness in his eyes and the people around with held in breath.
    “I’m so sorry.” I whisper, lean forwards as much as I could and place a kiss on his forehead, rubbing my thumb across the back of his hand.
    “At least I have you right?” he looks up with a knowing look and I smile.
    “Of course.”
    “I gotta go Bee, Brain is gonna take me out on a date finally!” Alisha stands from her red padded chair and comes to my side. She told me when she first came Brian had seen her in the ward and they had bonded and as far as I knew it was an instant crush for both of them.
    “You go get him girl.” I smirk as she gives me an awkward hug, she winks and leaves.
    Once she’s gone it all goes quiet.
    “So I have cancer.” I state and everyone’s eyes dart to me from their previous spots around the room.
    “How’d you know that?” Gerard asks, his voice is strained and his deep honey eyes linger with mine.
    “Did you know comatose people can still sometimes hear what’s going on around them? For a little while I could hear and then I went into a dream.” I state.
    “You’re not gonna die, Bee, we won’t let you die.” Mikey speaks up and it’s the first time he’s spoken since I’ve been awake.
    “What if I say not to chemo? What if I just get on with it? I know I can’t just think of myself but I don’t wanna spend the rest of my life in and out of hospital.” I shift in the bed and Bob looks panicked I silence him with an ‘I’m fine’ look in my eyes.
    “But Bee, if you don’t do this…” Ray tries to convince me but I won’t have it.
    “No Ray, I don’t want to inject myself with more poisons, if surgery is an option then I might try it but otherwise, no… it’s my body and I can do whatever the hell I want with it.” I tell him… the real reason is that my baby will not have poisons too. Then it hits me. My baby won’t have me, it’ll be Bob on his own, I might die without chemo… I had to choose try save my life and maybe risk my babies’ or save my child and risk my own.
    ----------------------------------------------------------------------
    Go to: http://www.theburningprocess.com/album.php?albumid=612
    to see the field Bee runs through xx
     
  17. Oh gosh that was intense. Ugh that's such a hard decision. I like the field picture, wish I could draw more than just hedgehogs. Holy crap it's almost over. I'm kind of excited to find out what she picks, even if they both could have awful outcomes.
     
  18. Chapter 45

    Cyanide Sparks: I cant draw that well to be honest, it takes me about 5 go's before I get it right. Get ready for some more updates.

    I havent had much chance so far because me and my dad have been in and out of hospital... me because I have a blood clot in my leg and shoulder from a skateboard accident and for my tremor in my hands... my dad for having 3 blood vessels burst in his nose so he had like a never ending nosebleed. soo that's been going on in my life. I am now banned from skateboarding.
    ------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Chapter 45
    Bee’s P.O.V

    I had to keep busy. I was out of the hospital and couldn’t return to school until a couple of weeks, my casts were off and since I got home I made myself busy with anything. Cleaning, decorating, video games, art, writing, thinking… boy did I do a lot of that and finally baking. So far I had made 3 batches of cinnamon rolls (23 rolls a batch), chocolate bugs, peppermint creams, cakes, ice creams, moon pies, brownies and I had just finished my last batch of fudge.
    “Honey I’m home!” Bob sings as he comes through the door after school, it’s just me, him, Mikey and Frank here now as Gerard and Ray went back to college a couple of days ago.
    “Hey, I’m in the kitchen.” I yell and begin to wrap the fudge to put in the fridge.
    “Shame; I was hoping you’d be in the bedroom.” He replies and as I bend down I feel warm arms wrap around my middle.
    “Why, so you can ravish me from dusk till dawn, like some sex starved maniac?” I smirk as I turn in his arms my slightly large stomach pressed against him; luckily it isn’t noticeable, although it doesn’t matter as everyone now knows.
    “Make my dreams come true.” He purrs and moves in for a kiss.
    “Well, keep on dreaming, scruff pot.” I pull my good arm up and shove the chocolate fudge brownie; I snuck out of the fridge, straight at his mouth. I pull away and his eyes are wide as he starts licking his lips.
    “f**k that’s good, you and Frankie should combine and start your own business; you’d get a ton of customers… well if I don’t beat them to it.” I help him wipe the remains off his face and finally give him a kiss tasting the chocolate insides of his mouth.
    “Really? You think it’s good?” I ask shyly and look up at him from under my eyelashes.
    “It’s better than a wet dream. Heaven.” He smiles then covers my mouth with a deep sensual kiss.
    “What are you doing, you can’t stand too long you know that, come sit down I have something to show you.” He holds my hands while I just stand there.
    “I’m fine, I need to do something, I can’t just sit around all day.” I stand firm and untie my little frilly waist apron.
    “Come with me, I have something to show you.” He tugs on my hands but I stay still.
    With one swift movement I’m lifted off my feet and over his shoulder. He carried me to the couch and he expertly sits so I am across his lap.
    “Okay, what did you want to show me?” I look up at him, my head in his lap; he reaches to his backpack on the floor behind the couch and brings out a brown envelope with our names on and a big PRIVATE stamped in the corner.
    “This was in the mailbox, it’s from the doctor.” He turns it over and I see the hospital return address on the back along with Dr. Dunn’s name.
    “What do you think it is?” I ask and absentmindedly run my hand across my belly.
    “Do you want to open it?” he asks me and fingers the opening.
    I shake my head and he begins to tear the seal.
    He pulls out the white letter and reads.
    “Bob and Bee, after your appointment last week I forgot to give you your sonogram prints, so here they are. Your three month appointment is on July twenty sixth, see you then. Dr B Dunn.” He finishes and instantly opens the envelope pulling out 3 pictures.
    He discards 2 and holds one in front of us. My breath catches as I look at the 12 week old baby, I remember he told us the baby would be about 5 and a half centimeters long at this point… so small yet so real.
    I look up at Bob and see the light in his eyes he had when he saw it on the screen. “When I saw it before it was breathtaking, now it’s beautiful, that’s our baby.” Bob kisses my forehead and I look back to the sonogram.
    It’s there, our baby, you can see everything… it’s not a squiggle or just lines… it’s a baby, our baby.


    “So you’re pregnant.” Alisha states matter of fact over the phone after a long pause that followed after I had told her.
    "Yeah." I sigh in relief.
    "Congrats, so you're gonna be ok, you and bob?"
    "Yeah why wouldn’t we be ok?" I ask confused staring up at the ceiling lay on my bed.
    "Well I just thought with his mom dying and stuff it might be a bit awkward."
    "No it's the complete opposite, why what's he like in school?" I play with the edge of my sleep shirt I had claimed from Bob.
    "He's Bob, he beats any guy who steps out of line and goofs off… y'know... plus he's super happy."
    "He's defiantly been different these past few days, I don’t know if it’s the baby or just him but it’s good to see him smile." Knowing that, a broad smile appears on my face and my heart does a little flip knowing he is happy.
    "Has he talked to his dad yet?"
    "How'd you know about that?" I raise my eyebrows and the smile falls a little.
    "When you were under his dad visited with Leo, cutest baby I'd ever seen I must say, Bob totally blanked them. I felt sorry for the guy, man was he hot though."
    "He did that? Was Lucy there too? I thought he would have talked to Lucy." Knowing his dad came to see me made me have some hope they would patch things up, hearing Bob rejected him made me a little mad, sure his dad left Bob to deal with his mom but he was his dad. But who am I to say that? My dad left me nearly 9 years ago and I was still furious.
    "Lucy...? Blonde, early twenties, really pretty?"
    "Yeah, that sounds like her." I roll my eyes.
    "Yeah she was there; he said ‘hi’, he disappeared with her for a bit... cafeteria, I think, came back fresh clothes and red eyes... I think he called her especially after his mom y’know.”
    Knowing Bob went to Lucy made a flicker of jealousy spike in my veins, I know I shouldn’t be jealous but I was, I wanted to be the one to comfort him in his time of need… not in a coma.
    But I was dying.
    When I’m gone I’m not gonna be there to reassure him everything’s gonna be okay.
    If I have this baby before then, he will be left with a little piece of me, will it help with my loss or will it crush him?
    Tears begin to fall from my eyes as I realize: there is no way of winning.
    "Bee, you there?" Alisha’s voice wakes me up and snaps me out of my own thoughts.
    "Yeah, sorry, listen I don’t think I'll be back in school for a couple of weeks." I wipe away some of the tears running in branches down my cheeks.
    "Will you make it for prom?" her voice is hopeful and a pitch higher, knowing like any other girl she is hyped on talkin about ‘the big event of senior year’ everybody ‘loves’ prom… I wouldn’t be seen dead.
    "Maybe, that is if I'm asked... and not the size of a whale." I joke and picture myself in a pink puffy dress not even able to fit through the door.
    “What about graduation?” she asks a little laugh in her voice.
    “I don’t know. Can’t you like not show up and they just send you it in the mail or something?” I whine.
    “I don’t know, you have to make graduation Bee.” She pleads.
    “I’ll think about it.”… Will I still be alive by then?
    “The kids in your class asked about you.”
    “They did?” I smile again.
    “Yeah, Lynz said to get well soon, she misses you.”
    “Alisha, I gotta go, I’ll call you later.” I wipe the new tears running from my eyes away and end the call.
    “Hey, I just wondered if I could come and lay down with you for a bit?” I see Mikey stood in my doorway and I smile.
    “Yeah, of course, come ’ere.” I pat my bedspread and lay my cell down on my dresser by my bed.
    Mikey snuggles into my side and I lay my head on his chest. “You okay?” I ask and look up into his eyes, mirror images of mine.
    “Yeah, I just feel like a crappy brother, I just want to have a cuddle with my sister.” He smiles and I realize that he’s not a crappy brother he’s just a little distant. “Sometimes I forget you are my sister and think that you’re just one of my best friends girlfriend. I know I acted spoilt for our birthday, I’m sorry about that, and I know I wasn’t all that supportive when you were in hospital but it’s been hard Bee… it’s been hard to adjust to having my sister. I acted like a real jackass when you first came home, knowing you were drunk made me act worse and I’m so sorry. I’m so so sorry.” I could see tears glisten in his eyes.
    “Don’t be sorry Mikes, I understand, I didn’t expect to come home to open arms… I didn’t even plan to stay. I wanted to see what you guys had became of yourselves and then I was gonna leave. I didn’t expect to be cleaned up or find love but I did and I believe that is my fate.” I gently rub up and down his arm.
    “God sure must hate us seeing as he’s taking you away from us.” Mikey sighs.
    “Yeah.” I yawn and start to drift.
     
  19. Aw there really is no way to win with this.. The sister and brother time was really cute though. I hope you and your dad are better now, I would've said it sooner but I've been so busy. Great as always :)
     
  20. Chapter 46

    Just finished this chapter so you are getting it 'off the press' xx
    Cyanide Sparks: Yeah, I kinda regret the storyline but I planned it this way and I think I do best not to change it. I think Mikey and Bee needed some 'Twin time'. My dad is getting better, thanks, but it wasnt long after I posted the last chapter I broke my tailbone jumping from my window onto a roof bellow then I kinda fell off that... so now I'm not allowed to do anything. I'm just a danger child. lol.
    ANYWAY.... back to the chapter.... HERE IS CHAPTER 46!
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Chapter 46

    Gerard’s P.O.V

    “Mr. Way.” My professor snaps me back to the present.
    “Yes sir.” I jump and almost knock over my canvas.
    “Would you like to share your work with the class? Instead of sitting there day dreaming.” The look on my professor’s face was cocky and his attitude made me want to punch him in the face.
    “Sorry.” I feel my cheeks heart up as I turn my canvas around revealing the beautiful girl with long curly brown hair, deep blue sparkling eyes, heart shaped face and rosy red lips.
    “That is one special piece there, Gerard, the detail is beautiful and the layers of colour set it off. I may have underestimated you, Mr. Way, for this piece I give you a ‘Top A’.” Professor Newton praised and marked off something on his student file. I never even knew it was an assessment; I put all my energy and thoughts into that piece.
    “Now it’s time for our pencil round, Miss Scott will hand out your papers, so please take out your recourses. Your focus can be anything as long as you include you own twist and do your best in the 90 minute time period allotted.” As he finishes a small pile of sketch paper drops onto my desk and I suck in a breath.
    I see people around me think and sketch outlines but I’m stuck.
    Think, Gerard, think. What do I wish to see every morning when I wake up? Frankie. Where do I wish to be? Home.
    My hand begins to move of its own accord, straight faint lines and small patterned squares. Then a little darker adding some shading and defining the lines. Little ripples and then a blur of a cloud barely present. My eraser adds light and detail showing the material of the structures and enthuses on the height.
    I kept working until I achieved what I wanted, when all my emotion and all my thoughts focuses on the piece and flows out onto the paper.
    “Drop everything in your hands, time’s up, leave your work on the desk and go to your dorms, scores for today’s assessments and all work in my lessons will be reavled in tomorrow’s lesson.” Newton tells us as we pack our things. The more I thought about my work the more I worried.
    I felt odd, my hands were shaking and stars appeared in front of my eyes, I rushed to my dorm and jumped on my bed waiting for the stars to disappear and for my roommate Jessie to come from his drama class… believe me he was drama, he was hell to room with, one moment he’d be happy the next he’d be all over the place causing more drama than my small pea-sized brain can take!
    Deciding I needed the only person who would chill me out; I pulled out my cell.
    Hey xx I text.
    Hey, honey, you’re out of class later than usual xx
    We had 2 assessments xx
    Really? How’d it go? Xx
    I got an A on my canvas but no idea about pencil xx
    What’d you draw? Xx
    To be honest, I wanted to draw you, but I settled for a skyline xx
    You draw beautiful whatever it is xx
    You should see the view from my room, babe, it’s stunning xx
    As stunning as me? Xx
    No, you top everything, you rock my world xx
    Of course I do, what’s you expect? A guy like me does a whole lot of rocking XP xx
    You make me smile xx
    You make me laugh xx
    You make me fuzzy inside xx
    You make me horny xx
    Way to kill the romance factor, babe xx
    Oh come on! You love it! Xx
    No. I. Love. You. Xx
    I love you too xx
    Good xx
    As I waited for my reply I took a picture of the piece I painted with watercolors last night and sent it to Frankie with ‘Hope above your heart.’ I recently went with Frankie to get his first tattoo… a flame on his chest with the word ‘HOPE’ underneath, I was terrified on the needle and the sound made it worse but I stuck with him while the guy did it. Being 17 he had to get permission so he went to his mom, she felt super bad about Matt and agreed.
    My favorite part of him now is that tattoo; and F.Y.I it was his EYES before… don’t just assume.
    Just as I sent the picture Frankie replied.
    I miss you but knowing your working for your dream I can bare it. Your dreams mean more to me than being with each other every second of the day. Prove your dad wrong, prove yourself wrong, your grandma; and make something of yourself, something to be proud of. xxHis text brought me to tears and a small smile warmed my face from his words. I will make you proud grandma. I told my ceiling.
    It’s beautiful, thank you, if you painted like that today I know why you got that A. xx

    “Mikey apologized to me the other night.” Bee said over the phone, she must have woken up early, at 4 am I was still up because of Jessie and his drama.
    “He did? How un-Mikey like.” I raised my eyebrows and then glared at Jessie who randomly broke out into a song from West Side Story.
    “I know, he said he acted like a jackass and he’s sorry, I just explained I understood and how I wasn’t planning to stick around originally so it must have been hard to adjust.” I hear the coldness in her voice and I wonder what she’s thinking.
    “It’s not all about him Bee, you have yourself to think of, the baby to think off and Bob.” I lower my voice around my roommate who is staring at me goggle eyed.
    “Your sisters pregnant! Dude!” he whisper shouts at me in his country accent, he’s from Texas but has never lived on a farm.
    “Shut up!” I growl and punch his arm hard enough he rolls around dramatically yelping assault.
    “Is that jerk of a roommate from Texas still there? Did you punch him for me?” Bee’s voice cuts in.
    “Yeah beat you to it.” I laugh.
    “Man it’s been so boring at home all day.” Bee sighs on the other end and the shift of fabric.
    “What have you been up to then?” I ask shifting position on my bed protecting myself from Jessie’s soft punches he’s began to inflict on my arm.
    “I’ve been baking and doing some stuff for when I y’know.”
    “For when you what?” I ask worried.
    “For when I go.” She states blankly.
    “Go where?” I’m not dumb; I just needed to make sure I don’t jump to conclusions.
    “When I die you dumbass.” That hurt me. My heart died. Everything inside of me just plummeted to my feet.
    “Don’t say that. Don’t you ever say that.” I snap and head out into the hallway of my dorm.
    I hear her sigh on the other end as I look down the empty hall. “I’m sorry Gee but I don’t know what to do. I had my future all planned out and now I don’t know what is gonna happen. I don’t want to die, I don’t want my baby to die either, I don’t wanna put meds in my body whilst I have a baby to care for and I sure as hell don’t wanna leave it without a mother.” Her sobbing muffles her words and I feel myself tear up.
    “We will work it out Bee; I promise.” I say calmly, inside I’m choking, this was my little sister and she was growing up.
    I was so used to being the hero that it felt depressing knowing she wouldn’t need me anymore. She wouldn’t be my little sister, she’s be a mom, she’d have the responsibilities i had with her, she’d have a whole new emotional country that I couldn’t cross the boundary to. It wasn’t gonna be the same again whatever the outcome.
    “I love you Gee.” She sniffles and my heart breaks again.
    “I love you too Bee.” And I do. It would be hard letting her go but I knew I had to.
    -------------------------------------------------------------------------
    'Hope above your heart' >>> http://www.theburningprocess.com/album.php?albumid=612&pictureid=5413
     

Share This Page