Teach Me How To Love

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction Archive' started by MCRxParader, Apr 26, 2008.

  1. MCRxParader

    MCRxParader Active Member

    CHAPTER 35

    My breath caught in my throat after his statement. I considered my next few words carefully, even though I knew I had no choice in the matter. I had given him my word that I would do whatever it took to win his trust back. If this is what he wanted, I couldn’t refuse, or it would be the end of whatever it was that we had.

    Instead of saying anything, I just nodded my head slowly.

    “Yeah. Yeah, of course. Whatever it is you want.”

    He smiled at me, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes. That familiar distrust of everyone around him that I saw just a few weeks prior was back. I hated it; and I hated even more that I was the cause of it now.

    I laughed awkwardly in an attempt the break the silence that had formed after this odd decision we had just made.

    “So, uh, how do we go about planning a road trip to see your ex-boyfriend who fell off the face of the earth?

    His eyes widened. “Road trip? How far are we going?”


    Frank just sighed and scratched his head. “Yeah, that sounds about right.”

    I didn’t ask him what he meant. I don’t think I was ready to go at that moment.

    It suddenly dawned on me that this trip would either make or break me and Frank. I wasn’t entirely sure of his motives behind wanting to come, though I assumed they were along the same as mine – closure. But what did closure mean for Frank? How did I know he wouldn’t go running back into Nate’s arms the second they were reunited? I know he wasn’t mine, but the thought made my face go hot and my throat tight. But I pushed the thought to the back of my mind, for now. I had an entire day ahead of me.

    “Are we okay?”

    “Yeah, Gee, we’re fine. I’m still a little…upset. But it’s okay. I’m fine. We’re fine.”

    I wasn’t convinced. I would find a way to make it up to him in a big way later. But I didn’t have time to think about it too much, as the bell had rung, signaling the start of the day.

    I gave Frank a quick, apologetic glance. “I’ll see you at lunch?”

    He looked at me with those giant hazel eyes of him and I felt my stomach flip for what felt like the 800th time that day. There was still a look of disappointment in them, but I saw what seemed to be a flash of something more tender.

    “Yeah, Gee. I’ll save you a seat.” He chuckled softly.

    The rest of the day went by in a blur. I wasn’t much able to focus on my teaching, but I had been doing this for a while now, so my body was basically on autopilot anyway. Lunch with Frank went just fine, and I felt him slowly loosen up around me again. It wasn’t where we were at before, but I knew I couldn’t win his trust back that easily.

    I dropped Frank off at home, waving him goodbye, my chest aching with longing at the fact that I would have to wait until tomorrow morning to see him again. I breathed deeply, and the aching subsided ever so slightly.

    As much as I missed Frank already, it was a relief to pull into my driveway knowing I had a night of watching stupid movies ahead of me until I had to go to sleep. I trudged up the stairs, already loosening my tie so I could change into comfortable clothes the second I got through the door. I noticed Mikey’s car parked next to the sidewalk. Perfect, now maybe we could finally have a f**king conversation.

    God, I wished some higher being – if one even existed – would have prepared me for what I saw in front of me when I walked in. Movement on the couch, a soft groan, a blanket shuffling. I forgot I had been holding my briefcase until the thing crashed to the floor, startling me out of my shock.

    Mikey. And Ms. Sporkel. On the couch. Their clothes on the floor. I didn’t stay long enough to confirm what my mind had already subconsciously figured out. Scrambling for the stuff that was inside my briefcase and running out the door, I could have sworn that I saw a nasty smirk on Mikey’s face as I fled.

    I slammed the driver’s seat door, gripping the steering wheel with one shaking hand and dialing Frank’s phone number on my cell phone with the other. He picked up after 3 rings, thank f**king goodness.

    I heard his good-natured smirk through his words. “Couldn’t stay away for more than twenty minutes, huh?”

    I didn’t answer. Just breathed raggedly into the receiver.

    Now I heard concern in Frank’s voice. “Gerard, is everything okay?”

    “Far from it. I got into my house…Mikey…and Iris…on the couch…no clothes...f**king hell.”

    Frank gasped audibly. I don't think he even knew what to say.

    “Do you mind if I come over there? Please? I can’t even imagine going back in there.”

    “Of course, Gee, of course. I’ll be waiting for you.”
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  2. WeAreTBP

    WeAreTBP Active Member

    Ugh Mikey is the WORST
  3. MCRxParader

    MCRxParader Active Member

    CHAPTER 36

    I sped over to Frank’s house as fast as I safely could, all the while swallowing the anxious lump in my throat that had begun to form.

    What the f**k was going on? How could Mikey do this to me? Why was he doing this to me? I tried to wrap my head around it but kept coming up more and more confused with my brother.
    I pulled into Frank’s driveway after what seemed like 5 hours of driving. For a minute I just stared blankly at my steering wheels, hands gripping it so hard that my knuckles started to ache. My jaw was clenched as tightly as a fist.

    Forcing myself to take a deep, shaky breath in and then out, I exited my car and started walking up to Frank’s door. Before I had the chance to knock, it swung open and Frank was staring at me, a look of worry in his hazel eyes. Tentatively, he wrapped his arms around me, his small frame pressed up against me. He didn’t say anything, which I was grateful for in that moment.

    He led me inside, and I saw that he had fixed up the couch for me with an incredibly soft-looking pillow and blanket. For a moment, I still kept staring, not able to think or say anything. Then, everything that has happened over the last couple of months, and I mean absolutely f**king everything hit me at once.

    I felt my legs buckle below me, my knees hitting in the ground as I whimpered, then began full-on sobbing. I knelt, my face buried in my hands, and let the guttural scream rip through me. Everything – falling in love with a man whose feelings I was still in the dark about, finding out about this past, my brother betraying me – the weight of it all sent me crashing to the ground, knocking the wind out of me.

    I don’t know how long I stayed there, knees on the ground, torso on the floor, face buried in my hands. Second? Minutes? Hours? I couldn’t escape the mental images of Frank and Nate looking utterly in love, or Mikey and Iris f**king on my couch. It felt like I was outside of my own body, watching myself utterly break down on Frank’s living room floor. I had lost my brother, and the trust of the person that I loved the most in this world. It was too much.

    And then, I felt his finger under my chin. I felt him slowly lift my face up to meet his. Our eyes locked and then, all I could see was his eyes – he didn’t take them off me for a second. The last thing I felt was being wrapped up in his arms – but not like before. No, this felt as if he were trying to absorb my pain, make it his own. His arms, so strong, held onto me as if I would fall off the face of the earth if he let me go. I buried my face into Frank’s warm shoulder and just sobbed there. He didn’t say anything…he just let me.

    Although it wasn’t incredibly late in the day, I was mentally and emotionally exhausted. Frank led me over to the couch and swept the blanket over me. My head fell straight onto the pillow, welcoming the soft surface against my burning cheeks. I must have fallen asleep minutes later, even though I barely remember drifting off. God, I must have been so tired. I was so f**king tired of thinking and feeling things that I didn’t want to feel.
    In what must have been the middle of the night, I woke up. The house was dark and quiet. I heard the soft patter of rain on the living room window.

    And then I felt Frank crawl onto the couch beside me. He lifted the blanket and got underneath it. Again, those small yet strong arms wrapped around me. I pretended to be asleep.

    He kissed the back of my head. I felt him tuck a stray piece of hair behind my ear, and then he kissed the back of my neck so tenderly.

    “I’m here, Gee,” he whispered, as if he thought I couldn’t hear him. “I’m here, and I’m not leaving.”
  4. Miz Erie

    Miz Erie Black Mariah Staff Member

    So I haven't actually read this, but I'm very curious after glancing over this new chapter. I hope you'll continue to post updates. If and when you finish it, let me know, and I'll move it to the completed section and read it. (I don't read incomplete fics because so many are abandoned now.)
    Ali Love likes this.
  5. MCRxParader

    MCRxParader Active Member

    CHAPTER 37

    My eyes shot open the next morning. The first rays of sunshine had begun to stream through the blinds of Frank’s living room window. I sighed, the ghost of yesterday’s emotional turmoil still floating around in my gut. The sinking feeling was momentarily assuaged when the smell of just-brewed coffee and toast came wafting into the living room. My stomach grumbled in spite of itself.

    I padded into the kitchen, with the vision of Frank sat at the table reading over some of his students’ papers, one leg tucked underneath him, a cup of coffee being brought to his lips greeting me. He looked up at me with his still-sleepy hazel eyes and smiled warmly. “Morning, Gee.”

    “Morning, Frankie.”

    I stared at him, letting the image of the man I loved settle all the shitty emotions I had swirling around inside my brain. It didn’t squash them completely, but it definitely helped.

    Before I had the chance to ask if I could take some coffee, Frank spoke again.

    “Obviously it goes without saying, but you can stay here as long as you want to. I can imagine you probably have some mixed feelings about going home, but my space is always open to you. Hope you enjoyed sleeping on the couch because it’s yours now.” He smirked as he lifted his cup to his lips.

    My lower lip trembled. I didn’t want to put Frank out, but I couldn’t imagine being within even 5 feet of Mikey right now. And the fact that it meant I could spend more time with Frank…I really wasn’t in the position to protest.

    “I’m so sorry about this. I hope you know how much I appreciate you opening your doors to me.”

    Frank snorted as he bit off a piece of his toast, surprising me. “I’m only sorry I wasn’t there to kick Mikey’s butt when you found him with Iris.”

    I didn’t bother fighting off the smirk that engulfed my face. Frank noticed and blushed furiously.

    “Sorry. Again. That thought was supposed to stay in my head.”

    “Oh, please don’t apologize. You’re pretty hot when you’re riled up.”

    Frank barked out another laugh and poured some coffee into a cup that was placed at the empty seat across from him. I realized I had no idea what time it was.

    Almost as if reading my mind, Frank spoke up. “We have a little over an hour until we need to be at work, if you need to psyche yourself up to see them. Also, I was thinking we can go to your place at lunch and collect some of your stuff to bring back here without running into Mikey.”

    Instinctively, I leaned across the table and planted a kiss on his cheek. When I pulled away, his face expressed surprise but also relief. “Jeez, I was wondering when I was going to get one of those again.”

    I raised the cup of coffee to my mouth and smiled, relishing in the sensation of the hot liquid immediately perking up my senses.

    A little while later, Frank and I pulled into the parking lot of Monroeville. He gave my hand a gentle squeeze before we exited the car, ensuring me that he was right by my side in this whole mess. My heart pounded against my chest as we made our way towards the teacher’s lounge and I heard the sound of Mikey’s raucous laughter filtering into the hallway.

    I stopped outside the door and squeezed my eyes shut as mental images of Mikey and Iris tangled up on our couch forced their way into my thoughts. I don’t know how long I stood there, dizzy from the mental ambush. When I opened my eyes, Frank was staring at me patiently, worry swimming in his hazel orbs.

    “Are you okay to go in?”

    I nodded stiffly and forced myself through the door before I lost my nerve, feeling Frank’s body next to mine.

    It could have been worse. Mikey and Iris’ backs were turned to me as they conversed with some other teachers in the lounge. The booming laughter came again, with Mikey throwing his arm around Iris’ shoulders in an exaggerated gesture and planting an obnoxiously loud kiss on her cheek. I rolled my eyes internally, stifling a snort. Frank and I quietly grabbed a small table in the corner, trying to remain unseen.

    The first half of the day passed by in a blur. At lunchtime, Frank and I left the school grounds to go get some of my clothes and toiletries from my house. We made sure Mikey and Iris were too busy feeding each other lunch to notice us leave.

    We were quick, and I made sure not to touch anything in the main room so Mikey wouldn’t know that I had been there. He would figure it out eventually, but now wasn’t the time to dwell on that – he couldn’t do anything about it anyway. My hands shook with anger as I packed up my meager personal belongings and left my old records, movies, and other collectibles behind. I hated that my own brother had forced my hand like this. And for what? Some asinine idea of Frank that he had for no f**king reason? I would never forgive him for this emotional roller coaster he was needlessly putting me through.

    With my bag of clothes and other belongings shoved into Frank’s trunk, we made our way back to Monroeville and finished off our day. I assumed that Mr. Toro hadn’t picked up on the whole Mikey and Iris situation since the two left the building together, giggling like idiots and trying to keep their hands off each other as they passed by his office. Even though we hadn’t interacted today, I knew they were putting on a show for my benefit. To hell with them. The urge to rat them out to the principal boiled deep inside my chest. The only thing that simmered me down was the feeling of Frank’s hand on the small of my back as we left the school.

    When Frank and I sat down for dinner that night over a bottle of wine in celebration of the weekend, I felt like something had shifted. Although our plan to go confront Nate together still hung in the air between us, unspoken for the time being, our talks became deeper, our laughs louder, our gazes longer, our touches more frequent. Maybe the wine played a small part, but I felt myself becoming more and more intoxicated by his mere presence.

    As the sun sunk lower over the horizon and the sky bled from red, to purple, to black, our eyelids grew heavy, speech slightly slurred from the alcohol but mostly from the exhausting last few days.

    “Alright, I’m calling it in. I’ve been drifting in and out of sleep for the last half hour,” Frank chuckled, rubbing his eyes.

    We got up from our chairs, and I made my way into the living room.

    “Good night, Frankie. I’ll see you in the morning.”

    I kissed him softly on the forehead, and then turned to my sofa bed. Before I could take another step toward it, Frank grabbed my hand. I looked at him, my eyebrows raised. His eyes sparkled with affection, and he motioned towards the stairs, leading up to his bedroom.

    “Come on upstairs. We can share my bed tonight.”

    He didn’t have to ask me twice.
    Last edited: Apr 17, 2019
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  6. MCRxParader

    MCRxParader Active Member

    Hi new reader! Yes, I'll be posting regular updates from now on. I definitely want to finish this story!
  7. MCRxParader

    MCRxParader Active Member

    CHAPTER 38

    [Frank’s POV]

    Cue the cliché, but all at once, nothing mattered anymore. None of it.

    Throughout the night, Gerard Way had managed to slowly chip away at the pieces of the sturdy wall I had built around my heart over the last few years. He had taken his chisel and hammer, and lovingly, patiently dislodged every single hardened stone that I had used as my defense. I had been proud of my wall, I thought it had made me powerful, untouchable. Only at this exact moment did I realize how incredibly foolish I had been. To hell with these defenses. Sure, they had kept out the poison feelings, the toxic rage and hurt and sadness that had haunted me for far too long. But they also had kept out beauty, joy, vulnerability, and sheer f**king happiness in the shape of the man in front of me. So, just like that, none of it mattered.

    When Gerard had been preparing himself to lie down on my couch, I just stared at the back of his gorgeous head, and I couldn’t stand it anymore. I wanted to be near him. I wanted him to feel his arms around my body, feel the broken pieces of me that he had been so gently putting back together all this time. I was tired of internally punching at the air with my tiny fists while a tornado of emotions overpowered me. I was tired of fighting off the feelings that I knew had begun to manifest quite some time ago.

    So, I took his hand. His surprised eyes made me giddy.

    “Come on upstairs, we can share my bed tonight.”

    His eyes gleamed and softened. He didn’t take them off me for a second as I lead him upstairs to my bedroom, with only the most tender of intentions.

    It was late and we were already half asleep. In a silent agreement, we crawled underneath my covers, still fully dressed and giggling. I sighed contentedly as the back of my head made contact with my pillow. The feeling was euphoric, enhanced only by Gerard laying next to me, rays of moonlight coming in through my window making his features glow.

    My eyes travelled over his face as I felt the full surge of emotions that had been stewing inside me. Without even a moment’s hesitation, I leaned over and planted a soft kiss on Gerard’s lips and lingered there. Jolts of electricity shot down from the top of my head, engulfing my entire body. It was the gentlest of gestures, practically a whisper of contact…but it was everything.

    Gerard smiled and kissed me back, just as tenderly. He reached up to tuck a stray piece of hair behind my ear, letting his hand linger there for only a moment.

    I pulled away slowly, keeping my eyes locked on Gerard’s as I let my head fall back against the pillows again. My brain was finally starting to shut down, and I wanted to fall asleep tonight with my lips still tingling from our first kiss.

    The last thing I remember before my slumber overtook me, was the feeling of Gerard snaking his fingers through my own, stroking my hand gently as I finally succumbed to the darkness.
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