BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP It's getting faster and louder. Just shut the hell up! Wow my head hurts, what did I do last night? Oh yeah looked after that shitty butt rock band. How much did I drink? Don't answer that. I have to get up now, come on! Why am I doing this to myself? I slowly get up, so as not to dislodge the huge weight that it settled on my brain, and hit the alarm clock a couple of times to stop it screeching at me. Its 11am, what time did I go to bed? 5am. I have to be at work in 2 hours. Fantastic, what piece of crap band am I going to have to look after tonight I wonder. I never get the good ones. "You're unreliable Bea, we can't trust you with the high profile bands." I can vaguely remember John telling me that, through a haze of fag-smoke and cocaine. He's right, I'm a mess. I've always known that, I'm a waste of skin. The scars on my arms show clearly how much I think of myself. How long has it been since that attempt? Six months...hmmm.. not bad. Ok its now 11.15 time to make myself presentable. Looking in the bathroom mirror I see lost potential, I see a woman with no direction or passion. What happened to wanting to be a singer Bea? Huh? What happened to wanting to play that guitar, now lying abandoned in the garage, professionally. Now every night you watch kids living your dream for you. You spend every night pandering to their every whim, organising their future, when you can't even organise your own. That band you booked last year, where are they now? On the front cover of NME, with a number one album under their belts, thats where! I run my hands through my cropped black hair, streaked with purple and let out a sigh. That face, I hate that face. Piercing blue eyes stare with loathing. I apply some eyeliner, pull on black jeans, an old blue shirt and sneakers, grab my bag and begin another day of my extraordinary and boring life. Thats chapter one, don't worry MCR are in there somewhere! Hope you like it.