Stories From When You Were f**ked Up

Discussion in 'General Off Topic' started by spikenike232, Apr 11, 2010.

  1. spikenike232

    spikenike232 Guest

    This is a little risque, so I asked Kriss' permission first and she said I could post this.
    Basically, just post funny stories from when you were f**ked up, like high or drunk or both. If you can remember them, that is.
    I'll start-
    One time, I came home blazed as hell with the munchies and put a burrito in the microwave, but I forgot that you couldn't put aluminum foil in there. I almost burnt the house down.
    Tuesday, we were stoned and went to the movies, and these FBI agents go by. I'm talking straight up men-in-black-suit-wearing with sunglasses, and they were staring us down. And then we saw them again as we exited. Omg, I can't tell you how hilarious it was.
    One day, I came to school baked, sat down in my chair in class, and tried to put my seat belt on.

    These are probably more 'you had to be there' things, I used to have like 100 stories, but I forgot them all...
    anyway, what's yours?
  2. Linzi Sky.

    Linzi Sky. Active Member

    ^ HAHA @ you with the seatbelt. x'D!

    I decided to ride a bike whilst pissed, my sister was in the back--in a trailer for kids--and suddenly, I careered into a tree. It was pissing down with rain and pitch black as we'd just got out a club. My sister's were screaming their heads off "I DON'T WANNA DIE!" then I had a piss in the woods and found my way back to our cabin (we were staying at Center Parcs)

    Next morning, I woke up with dirt and grit all over me, as I had slept in my clothes. I also had a bruise the size of an apple on my knee. When you're drunk, you don't feel pain--I'm glad that fact is true, otherwise I would have died. HA.

    I have other stories but can't be asked to type them out--they're mostly "in the moment" things, and you have to be there, ha.
  3. Lola.

    Lola. Guest

    once when i was drunk i ended up throwing up. out my nose.
    it was hilarious at the time.
    don't tend to do anything crazy when i'm drunk or high, just stuff that's only entertaining when you're under the influence.
  4. spikenike232

    spikenike232 Guest

    haha Linzi, that's hilarious xD I couldn't think of any drunk stories because I usually forget, but you reminded me about my first drunk scooter ride yesterday. I kept shouting "PULL ME OVER, I'M SCOOTERING UNDER THE INFLUENCE. DUI." and poop. omg.
  5. Don Ricalo

    Don Ricalo Panda Bear.

    We were out drinking and went to KFC for mid-session munch, some woman behind us must've just looked at me, seen the hair.
    "...You wouldn't happen to be a guitarist, would you?"
    "Err. Kind of."
    "What's kind of?"
    "Yes and no. But not really. More of a hobby."
    "Would you be interested in playing for a band at The Twist in a few weeks? Just a few chords and powerchords, that sort of stuff."
    "Err... sorry, not really, no."
    Then Chloe's all "Do iiit!"
    "But I don't have a guitar now, I just have an acoustic."
    "Borrow mine!"
    Then the woman says
    "Hey, why don't you do it!"
    So Chloe refuses, saying she doesn't know how to play.

    The Twist being the local 'alternative' venue. Would've been strange playing at the place I usually go to see local bands.
    I'm pretty sure I've got many more, I just cba to type them out, I c&p'd this from an MSN conversation I'm having.
  6. Holly

    Holly Active Member

    A couple o'weeks ago we were drinking in my garden, and things got a little bit out of hand; we'd all drank waaay too much and had decided to fake Richard's death.
    We gave Justin a 'spliff' (wellllllll, we crushed a teabag and didn't tell him it wasn't weed...) and waited for him to get all over dramatic and 'stoned'; then we grabbed one of the blow up dolls we'd knicked from the club down the road, dressed it in Richard's leather jacket and threw it under a passing bus.

    I'm pretty sure the gag was up when 'Richard' went boom. x] Justin was shitting himself.

    Other than that we played drunk tennis with shovels and a football, once.
    In cannae remember anything else.
  7. PunkAssMofo!

    PunkAssMofo! Fuzake n Na!

    I went to this party and my friend Hannah turned up late and 'cause we were all so gone she drank like, proper fast on straight vodka and it really f**ked her up. She kept coming into the room saying stuff like 'you must reproduce' and 'the aliens are coming!' It was funny for a while but then it got too much. That was one of the worse nights xD

    At my party we were all drunk and so we all came down into my kitchen and lit the candles that are on my kitchen tables. We did like, a fake ghost thing so we were just taking the piss and Josh blew out the candles everytime we asked a question, so then we all went outside shouting stuff like, 'they're after us!'.
    It was fun, but you probably had to be there.
    I'm sure I've got more, but I have trouble remembering these things.
  8. Nukyster

    Nukyster Active Member

    Few weeks ago I was bored and I still had a rolled joint in one of my drawers, thought 'owh why the f**k not'. So I sneaked outside and smoked. I still dunno if I smoked to fast or used to much but jesus I was sure I was going to die. Like first it was fun when I was taking a shower and the univers seemed all about me. but then I started twitching and after about two hours of thinking 'this is it people' I puked a few times and had a lot of thoughts flying around. Took me about the night to lose the twitches and in the morning I thought, never again! It was like a bad hang over, but eventually the good memories beat the puking.

    owh and the whole pissing in the woods (or near the road) and nearly costing a horrible traffic accident because you can't ride your bike as well as you thought, yeah sounds familiar.

    XOMBIE Guest

    Hungry while drinking = salt + vinegar pringles soaked in vinegar and then coated in salt.
    that was a fun one, i'm not posting up others. they shall never be spoken of again. I have made people swear to keep them secret cos i'm not proud!!
  10. xokay_nowx

    xokay_nowx Become, become, become

    Not too interested in substances, really, because they don't affect me like they should.
    Like Klonopin's supposed to be a downer, right, but I've taken five within three hours and ended up staying up for 26 hours anyway. Strange stuff.

    And after 3-4 glasses of wine and after midnight last spring I texted Allan and wrote, "Why are you such an butthole?"

    He didn't reply; it didn't solve much; I'm not much a fan of overindulgence.
  11. Shaz.

    Shaz. Gleek.

    The first one I remembered when I saw this was walking into a tree while intoxicated.. which wouldn't be so bad if I was like, in a forest or something. I was just wandering around campus with three of my housemates & somehow managed to walk into the one tree in the whole area. It was pretty funny at the time. xD
  12. Seraphim

    Seraphim Active Member

    On NYE I somehow managed to consume over 20 standard drinks. (apparently that's enough to kill a person) I ended up spewing in my friend's bathtub; and filling it about halfway up. And I passed out about 4 or 5 times.
    I can't really remember much tbh... and apparently I made everyone watch the Might Boosh and spent the whole time going, "f**k Vince is so hot!" *face palm*

    And few weeks ago I was really REALLY drunk and I passed out in my hotel room for about an hour and then, (according to my friends) suddenly jumped up, grabbed my stuff and before anyone could object headed out the door saying "Bye guys! I'm going out clubbing!!!"
    I showed up again about an hour later and was like "I have no idea where I've been... but I have a sausage roll!!!"
    How I didn't get kidnapped or murdered I will never know...

    I have loads stories about stupid stuff I've done while drunk/ high... most of them ending with me passing out or vomiting.
  13. Don Ricalo

    Don Ricalo Panda Bear.

    Either wherever you heard that is telling you bullshit, or everyone 18 - 25+ in Britain is almost dying every night out, since 20+ units is a standard night for me and everyone I know, even if it is the weekly recommended amount xD
  14. Angila

    Angila InkGirl. Staff Member

    I suppose it depends on your tolerance. Twenty drinks would kill me, I can almost guarantee it. That, coming from a total lightweight. =]
  15. PartyPoison

    PartyPoison New Member

    I haven't been that drunk in a while and most of the time I can't remember what happened.
    One night I got pretty drunk. I was home alone and bored. The next morning I got dressed and found out there was an awful lot of toothpaste on my jeans. Still don't know how it got there..
  16. Seraphim

    Seraphim Active Member

    Lol you Britans probably have a lot higher tolerance than us. :p
    I was pretty sick. Never drinking sambuca again.
  17. Don Ricalo

    Don Ricalo Panda Bear.

    Sambuca is foul. I've had far too much of it than I'd choose to, but it's rude to turn down a free drink, so I've never paid for it. Not much of a fan of straight spirits in general tbh but can and will be done if need be. Some girl I drank with when I used to go out a lot had a fondness for straight Jagermeister, so I'd end up getting shots of that from her a lot, plus she brought out a whole bottle with her one night, which got added to every drink we bought. Double vodka triple jagermeister with redbull, anyone? xD
  18. Seraphim

    Seraphim Active Member

    ^ STRAIGHT Jagermeister? :eek:
    Wow, I've drank some pretty nasty stuff in my time, but even I wouldn't do that. Jager bombs are great though.
    ABC shots are probably the worst thing I've ever tasted... but they f**k you right up!
  19. Don Ricalo

    Don Ricalo Panda Bear.

    It's not that bad straight tbh, you get used to it eventually, but it's still not a preferable thing. It was getting added to everything in generous amounts 'cause it was a big bottle and we only had about an hour to get rid of it, led to some fast and heavily loaded drinking xD Jagershots are huuugely preferred though, can put down 3 of those on the run before needing a moment to stop being bloated from the fackin' Redbull, then carry on some more. I assume you've done the customary Jagerbomb train? The longest one we did at a bar had 15 glasses lined up, was so epic to watch drop perfectly xD
  20. CherieNoir

    CherieNoir Member

    One time when me and my friends were smoking pot I had a conversation with my friend. We were talking about some dude trying to figure out what his name was but none of us could remember it. Then I remember it and shouts "His name is X!" (Not really X but I've forgot who it was, this was 4 years ago) and my friend goes "Huh? What?" and I'm like "that guy we were talking about!" and my friend didn't understand what I was on about. Turns out the entire conversation between me and my friend didn't actually happen, besides in my head! That's not why I don't do drugs any more but it's sure a good reason not to. f**king psychotic...

    The most f**ked up I've been was when I was drunk on tequila way back in 2003. One night I drank a lot of tequila and went to a bar with my friends. I remember meeting my friends there, next thing I remember is my friend putting me in a cab because I'm extremely drunk. Then I remember throwing up in the cab. Apparently the cab driver got mad at me and left me at a bus stop which is where the police found me. I lived with my family but they were out of town and the police thought I was too drunk to be left alone so the next morning I wake up at the police station, my wallet and passport has been stolen from me, my cell isn't working because I've spilled tequila on it and I have to walk five Kilometers in the rain to get home. Lovely weekend.

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