Sending shivers right down your spine

Discussion in 'Completed Fan Fictions' started by, Oct 22, 2009.

  1. Kerstyn

    Kerstyn New Member

    Pleasse update :D
  2. EmilyRose

    EmilyRose New Member

    Please update soon
  3. Chemical 30

    Chemical 30 Just 'That' Girl

    New Reader!! Please update!!!
  4. BlackWays

    BlackWays New Member

    *new flesh* so i really love this story,it's one of those where you can't know what will be next and all the stuff that are happening are just so well put togheter,so it is very,very good:)i really can understand bits of both Frank and Gerard,i mean revenge is a thing that we all feel at some point for somebody else but not many of us actually do something to show just how much rage we have inside,so it may be that Gerard is a bad person for doing this but he sure as hell has a reason and Frank...i don't know i would say payback is a witch,but i can't really imagine myself doing something so cruel to another person,so in spite of everything that he has ever done i feel bad for him..and Mikey just deserves to be in another place,he's too young for this poop
    So,yeah i would really love another update:)

    p.s:i adore the way you develop the story
  5. I don't need you here

    I was losing sense of time. Down the creaking stairs I ran. A shotgun in my hand, with a pretty perfect plan to see some blood. I wasn’t sticking to my plan. The emotions got me distracted and instead of giving Frank what he really deserved I was about to save him. Of course too confused and deflected I didn’t really leave too much brain capacity for reality and thinking straight. I reached the last stair. Frank was staring at me, looking shocked. I smiled for a second. I’d be too if a man would come in my way with a gun in his hand.

    “Filth,” I acknowledged him, “how about having your brains painting my wall?” I asked with a cheery voice and loaded the gun with a loud double click. He still looked pretty shocked, “come on. At least say something that I can write on the wall when the blood has dried.”

    He was about to open his mouth when the door opened. It was Mikey. This time he wasn’t running to save the moment or anything. He was just taking slow steps down the stairs almost dead quiet to not distract me. I smiled even wider. He had learned.

    In time Mikey also reached the bottom and walked quietly beside me. He stared at Frank for some time, knowing I looked at him with a smirk but ignoring me.

    “I think we don’t have the whole day,” he said with a clear relaxed voice. I could almost think he’s the main killer, not me. It seems almost easy to him and he’s only 13. I’m really proud of him.

    “Gerard, please. Consider it! You don’t have to rush into anything. You still have time to rethink it. You could still get away with it. Just, please, don’t motherf**king kill me,” Frank was pleading now. Why wasn’t I surprised? He was always such a pussy.

    “Do you really think I could get away with my sins? I have seen hell. The deepest side of it. I have seen blood. I have seen all kind of torturing methods. I have seen it all. And if I could ever consider letting one of my victims go, I could call that the end ‘cause that would mean I have finally lost it.”


    A/N: A filler after such a long time. A short one tho, but i haven't got sleep for days so it stays this way. Longer and more interesting coming up soonish.
  6. Living Disaster

    Living Disaster New Member

    WohoooooO!!!! an update :'D
    damn, this story is so addicting.
    I had to read the story again to remember everything xD
    ive been sick for 3 days, and i can honestly say that reading this story is the best thing i have done with all my time:'p
  7. BlackWays

    BlackWays New Member

    AN UPDATE!God,i was waitng for one:D...this story is very,very special,everything is rushing but just at the right speed and the characthers are combined,i mean everyone feels now or felt before what the other experienced or experiences now,awesome,i will be waiting for your next update:)
  8. EmilyRose

    EmilyRose New Member

    Nooo what is Mikey thinking
  9. Chemical 30

    Chemical 30 Just 'That' Girl

    YAY update!
    Don't kill him Gee
  10. Hydro_Insanity

    Hydro_Insanity New Member

    Please update its really good
  11. Do I get bonus points if I act like I care?

    “This is all your fault, Frank,” said Gerard composedly, “you have brought this family so much affliction. Do you have any idea how many people have been killed in this cellar? There’s a line for every one next to the sink.” I now looked up to the sink in awe. Half of the kitchen wall was covered in small lines marked in four and crossed through by the fifth one.

    “Not all of them were from the school. There have been lots of people from the streets. wh**es, hobos, lonely people who nobody will ever miss. I haven’t kept them all down here for as long as I’ve kept you. I guess you could take yourself as someone special now. I’ve made people go through hell because I got my childhood taken away once,” he sighed and dropped the gun. Something in him had absolutely changed in less than 5 minutes.

    “I am sorry for everything I ever did to you, Gerard,” I choked, “but it wasn’t my fault. I wasn’t there when it happened. I could have stopped-“

    ”You wouldn’t have done poop! Of course you’re pleading me now. I’m the one with the gun, aren’t I? I’ve been waiting for this moment for about half a year! I have been dreaming about having your brains decorating this basement’s wall. I want to get over with this so bad but I just can’t.”

    I was losing every last glimpse of hope of ever getting away from this basement but then I saw something that changed everything. I saw a tear in Gerard’s eye. An emotion so powerful that he fell onto the ground sobbing like a little girl. It may have been the alcohol in his blood system but it was still something absurd from him. Even Mikey looked confused.

    “I can’t kill you,” he sobbed, “I can’t kill you because when I do I have nothing left. The idea of taking your life has kept me alive for 6 months. It’s been keeping me more alive than I’ve ever been!”

    He was yelling at me with tears pouring from his eyes like a helpless kid. He was for the first time totally vulnerable. I was speechless like someone had cut through my vocal cords for good. I didn’t even feel any pain anymore. I felt nothing. I was just totally dazed.

    “You are my dream Frank!” he yelled and I felt like vomiting.

    “What are you talking about?” I mumbled.

    “I don’t mean in the fag way my little brother feels for you,” he said with a disgusted look at Mikey. I saw something break in the little boy. Gerard started laughing in his tears loudly and balanced himself to get up so he could be towering over me, “I mean in the most insane way. Your existence itself gave me a reason to take it away again. I never had a reason for life before. So how could I destroy something so beautiful now? It’s almost romantic, isn’t it?”

    Mikey had been quiet the whole time he had been in the room but now he spoke, “What did Frank ever do to you, brother?”

    “Why ask that from me when the filth is in the room?” he smirked his face still wet from tears. He never dried them off. Mikey moved to look at me now waiting for the answer.

    “I-I let my friends rape your brother without knowing it half a year ago in April,” I whispered out as if it hit me only now. I was feeling more and more nauseas now.

    Mikey’s expression didn’t change. He dragged his eyes away from me and down to the ground where the gun lay. He quietly took the double-barrelled and examined the gun slowly. Gerard didn’t do anything and let his little brother have his way with the gun till he aimed it at Gerard himself. The gun was loaded from before.

    “Now it’s your turn, lovely,” Mikey said emotionlessly. Gerard looked at him confused.

    “What are you talking about?”

    “Well, you said Frank was your dream. So you’re going to be the fag of the family now. Go push YOUR tongue down HIS throat now.” His eyes were shining insanely.

    Everybody stood quiet for a second. Gerard stared at his brother without saying anything, without any emotion. I was trying to keep myself from puking. This was their fight. Why did they have to include me? Oh right, I was the mad emo’s personal reason for life and he had to have me around so he could make me more miserable and insane with days. I wish it actually were as hilarious as it sounded in my head. Gerard interrupted my thoughts with his laughing. How rude of him.

    “Are you jealous? You said you loved me! You cannot, I repeat, cannot aim a gun at me because of a dude you have a crush in! I’m your bother!” he yelled with so much authority in his voice that one could think Gerard was Mikey’s father.

    “I-I do love you,” mumbled Mikey with his hands starting to shake, “you say awful things to me. You never say you love me. Frankie said you might kill me one day. I may start to believe him.” His voice was as shaky as his hands. Gerard walked to him calmly and took a hold on the gun, then giving Mikey a reassuring look and taking the shotgun from his hands.

    “Frankie? Since when do you call the dirt by it’s pet name? Get upstairs and get yourself a beer. I will follow you in a couple of minutes.” Gerard’s voice was stern and dry.

    Mikey listened to him and left. We were alone. He turned to face me.

    “I still have a game to play with you.”


    A/N: this story is now about 2 and half years old . i started writing it when i was 16 . i'm now 18 . i had totally forgotten about it before i started reading it tonight at 3am and understood i have to start uploading again . right now it's 6.16am and i have school in 2 hours . haven't slepts a bit .
    so this is me taking myself together and hoping to get all the old readers , who have always been more than nice to me , back .

    your reviews still get me high .

    ursula , xoxo
  12. virgo

    virgo New Member

    Hello i have to say you're story is amazing :) i really want to find out how it ends and what will become of mikey. Is this going to be a ferard? Love your story and can't wait for more. XO Virgo
  13. Sylvie: hello fresh blood!
    thank you very much.
    i would like to know how the story ends myself aswell as i come up with the plot as i write. &yes, it's going to end up as a frerard. a really f**ked up frerard.

    love, ursula, x
  14. Chemical 30

    Chemical 30 Just 'That' Girl

    You updated!!!
    Wow great chapter can't wait for more :)
  15. Wow... this is good.

    Yessss ... <----- new reader! !!!

    I started reading this and I put everything else off till I caught up XD

    ANYWAYS, im really interested. Need to know!!!

    Will it be ending soon? *please say no....*

    Anyways, update soon!
  16. Danielle: yes, i finally did update. and thanks, means the world to me.

    Amanda: hey! i'm glad to have you hooked.
    &i don't have any plans on ending it any time soonish. : D
  17. Okay. Just makin' sure. Cause I believe where its at it can go two ways, but saying it won't end soon is disproving my bad/unwanted/gorey theory. Haha (;
  18. I miss my mother

    After Mikey left the basement everything changed. It felt like the room had gotten much darker than it was before without anyone putting off any lights. I felt ire stream trough the air. The room went colder. I think I felt cold wind on my face. Can’t be. Maybe I’m going mad. My beaten up body started hurting again. The pain came back slowly with the so familiar iron taste in my mouth. I attest, I had never been this terror-struck. I was afraid to move a muscle. Any muscle. I think the blood in my veins stopped running.

    Gerard looked heinous. He didn’t look drunk anymore but I was afraid of what the alcohol in his bloodstream would make him do. He didn’t even move. He was just standing there. Staring at me. Staring into my soul. Ripping it apart piece by piece. His black oily hair had fallen all over his pale white face but I was able to see his eyes. They shined through the black mess covering his head. They looked hungry, full of malice. His body twitched pulling him out of his trance. He opened his mouth to talk. He looked like a well-behaved reasonable person when he started to calmly speak which creeped me out even more.

    “You know now that I can’t kill you because of what you mean to me. You may start thinking you’re saved but trust me on this when I say it – you will NEVER get out of this place. I will make your life a living hell and make you want to take your own life every second of every day. You may start chewing your own tongue off because I won’t let you hurt yourself any other way. I will keep you safe the worst way you could ever visualize.”

    Now it was me that got into a trance. I felt paralysed by the fear, the pain, and the situation in general. I missed my mom.

    He tilted his head on one side studying my scared face. He looked drawn to the pain I was feeling.

    The berserk walked to me and crouched down never taking his eyes away from my face. He put his hand on my cheek, caressing it slightly. I had lost any control on my body to pull away. He tracked his fingers over the bruises on my face, over my lips. His warm hands felt better in the cold room. Then precipitously he pulled away and slapped me in the face. He found the perfect place with the most bruises. I finally got to pull my face away. The nausea came back. The disgust and scare towards him hit me like a speed-train bolting in my face and I puked all over my shoulder. I felt too numb and dizzy to function anymore.


    I came back to my senses feeling I was laid down. This must have been a horrifying dream. I opened my eyes to see a strange concrete ceiling.

    This was not a f**king dream.

    Trying to balance myself on my elbows to get up I understood I can’t. Not because I was chained or tied down but because it hurt too much to bear. I looked around to see myself in a different room. I was much smaller that the place they had been holding before. There was a small table next to the bed I must have been sleeping in. No chair. That was it. The only furniture was those two objects. The room had two doors – one that read, “you may poop there” with a bad marker writing and the other one that looked thicker than the doors in the jail. Not like I had been to one but it really looked massive enough to fit there.

    So they had moved me.

    I only now noticed a glass of water on the table and a bowl next to it. I was dying in hunger and thirst. I got up really slowly trying to hurt myself as little as possible. I failed hard but I made it to the table. I now realized there was something holding me back.

    I was chained after all. How long can this go on?

    I looked at the bowl on the table. It had rice with some kind of meat in it. It didn’t look delicious but I didn’t really have a choice. Maybe it’s poisoned. No, that would be too easy.


    A/N: got this out faster than i thought i would.
    thanks for everyone who are reading and i hope you enjoyed.

    ursula , xxx
  19. virgo

    virgo New Member

    Wonderful update. Its great that he's no longer strapped to a chair. I'm guessing gerard is stuck there too?
  20. I think I'm gonna be sick and it's your fault

    I took out the pack of cigarettes and lit one up. The pathetic piece of poop had passed out. He looked like a rag doll - motionless deflated on the shitty chair he had been on for the last 3 days covered in blood, beer, puke, everything you could imagine really. I smiled at what I had accomplished. I had changed this egocentric filth into a pitiful nothing. A toy that I could do whatever the f**k I wanted to.

    “You’re mine,” I whispered.

    I put off the cigarette on his hand that was tied to the chair and made my way upstairs. Mikey was sitting on the living room with Bob. He was drinking the beer I asked him to get before. Good brother, you’re supposed to obey me. They both looked up to me when I made it over the doorjamb.

    “He vomited all over himself and passed out,” I said like it was the most casual thing to do. But it was, to me it was really. The situation was fine. I was in control over his meaningless body and mind and as long as it stood that way everything was okay. I felt content with myself.

    I noticed the shotgun on the floor.

    “Mikey, take it back to Bob’s room, please.”

    “I-Is he okay?”

    “He’s just peachy.”

    “Okay,” I guess I had that all-saying smirk on again that always told him to leave me alone in my peacefulness. He took the gun like it was a gross and slimy frog and walked past me. Funny, he liked it so much more when he was aiming it at me.

    “Are you going to let that thing rot in my basement now?” Bob asked, as it was also the most normal thing ever while watching the weather forecast in the TV. I always liked him.

    “Mikey will clean him up later,” I said when my little brother walked in again, “right darling?”

    “Yes, of course,” he answered quietly then took a pause to think if it was a good idea to speak and opened his mouth again, “I think I deserved what you put me through in the cellar with Frank before. I have been a horrible brother to you. I should have never guessed your concept of this and also never think you would harm me in any way.”

    Of course you wouldn’t. You’re as stupid as everyone else. You’re a depressed definition for pity. You should feel blessed if you can see your 17th birthday.

    “Don’t worry about it. I’m proud of you and the way you acted,” I said kindly and he smiled up to me.


    “Yes, you’re my little brother. I put you before anything,” I maybe put you before school and real dog poop like Frank but not before alcohol, cigarettes, drugs or sex. I wouldn’t have a second thought to slit your throat if you stood before something I desired.

    “I love you, Gerard,” he said jumping up to me and hugging me like I meant the world for him. You’re hilarious.

    “Guys you feel like doing something entertaining?” I started to push Mikey away from me. He was intruding my personal space.

    “Like what?” mumbled Bob while being busy with the weather.

    “We could ask Ray over again and get some more alcohol and hookers,” I offered knowing they would be into it instantly. Bob found the remote and turned off the TV.

    “I’m in. I’m will go and drive through the liquor store on the street. You take care of the hookers,” he pointed at me and got up from the armchair. And like that, he was out of the door. Bob can’t resist good parties.

    Mikey had been sitting in one of the armchairs the whole time smiling and staring up to me like I was god. Well, I was.

    “Drag Frank or whatever the f**k his name is into the backroom of the basement and chain him up there. Get rid of anything sharp enough for him to harm himself. We have to keep the sleeping beauty alive and as peachy as he’s right now. Also get him something to eat and put the pills in a blue bottle with a red lettering that you find in the bathroom cupboard into his food or whatever you are going to feed him,” Mikey sucked at making food, “put only 3. I need him numb and drugged not dead. Got it?”

    “Yes! I love you so much brother,” and he came to hug me again. This time I put up my hands to protest and he just stopped, smiled and left.

    “3 pills. We want him drugged not dead,” he mumbled before leaving the room. Maybe one beer was too much for him.

    I sat down and got my phone from the living room table. I dialled and put the phone to my ear.

    “Hey Stacy, I need you and your sl*t friends over in half an hour. We have free booze.” I didn’t really have to say anything else. She only said it may take more than half an hour.


    After an hour Bob’s house was filled with people. Mostly girls as Mikey, Bob, Ray and I were the only guys. I had no idea where the freak found his way there. By freak I obviously mean Ray.

    All the wh**es were already drunk. Ray was pushing his tongue down one skank’s throat. He’s probably getting that witch upstairs into the bed with his chess club talk as well. Bitches love intelligent boys, don’t they? When they get drunk they will take a freak with a chess hobby as a sophisticated gentlemen without a second thought.

    I was still sitting on the same armchair with a bottle of whiskey now in my hand and two girls all over me on both sides. The sl*ts didn’t really care about anything else than free booze. They would probably crawl, beg and suck my dick for it if I asked as well. I wouldn’t really mind anyway. But I needed to consume my dear alcohol and drugs before I was ready to even pay attention on the chicken hungry wh**es.

    Mikey was sitting on the floor with this decent looking girl talking and sipping his beer while the girl had a bottle of white vodka in her hand and was probably going to pass out soon. He’s going to get laid as well. I don’t really care. That piece of pathetic poop could have his fun.

    I had no idea where the f**k Bob was.

    The girl named Stacy, who I had called before, was on my right roaming her hands over my chest begging for my attention.

    “You make me sick,” I said with venom in my voice. She started giggling.

    “I like the deepness in you. I feel like it’s, you know, intoxicating me. Do you want to go somewhere, you know, private?” she murmured in my ear. I wanted to stab the wh**e with a fork.

    “Only if you’re going to suck my dick,” I told her without any emotion and the next moment she was dragging me up out of the room. She was dragging me closer to the basement door.

    “Wouldn’t it be fun to do it there?” she tried to be seductive. If you want me to cut your organs out and then mark a line for you on the wall as well then why not.

    “We’re not going to the basement,” I said calmly. She dragged me to the bathroom and started the only thing she was good for. I realized how much I really didn’t care if she was there or not. I would have enjoyed playing with Frankie boy in the basement so much more.

    She finished up and looked up to me like I should pat her on the head saying, “good job”. I closed my zipper and walked out of the room back to where I had been sitting before. Got the bottle of Jack back in my hand and continued poisoning myself.

    Hours passed and I was getting more and more intoxicated by the liquid magic – whiskey. You know what people say about whiskey? They say it brings the devils out from you. I’m thankful that it’s not that bad because other ways I would be in the police station witnessing for killing a house full of hookers. But I was trailing off from what was going on around me and thinking more about the fun I have in the cellar - the drugged fun.

    I stood up and got out of the room with the whiskey bottle in my hand. I was heading to the basement. Once down I made my way to the backroom. When I opened the door I saw something I liked quite much – an insane looking prisoner with a grin on his face. I took the bottle and sat down far enough for him to not reach me.

    “You’re all f**ked and overrated,” he mumbled. I just stared at him in amusement, “you all think so high of yourselves. You think that I’m a horrible person letting someone f**k you on the ally once…” he started giggling. I guess it was as amusing for him as it was for me.

    “Actually you’re way more f**ked up than I’ve ever been,” he continued, “You have a really sick mind and shitty luck, Gerard.”

    I threw him a cigarette and the matches. He put it on instantly. I should have gotten mad at him or hit him but I know that when the drugs are going to carry off he’s going to pay for those words anyway. He will experience some unbearable pain when he gets out of this. I drank my whiskey and continued listening his rambling.

    “You know what?” he started again like he had forgotten he was talking about something before, “I really f**king enjoyed making out with your god damn brother. He’s a little f**ktard but I bet he wouldn’t get so pussy about some dude f**king him senseless, like you did. He would LIKE to have me f**k him senseless.”

    “Keep your f**king tongue behind your teeth,” I gritted my teeth.

    “Or what? You will suck it off?” he continued his giggling.

    “I will cut it out from you.”


    A/N: i hope you enjoyed .
    also if you did PLEASE LET ME KNOW 'cause otherways i will ditch the story again thinking nobody found it interesting enough .
    your feedback means the world to me .


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