No-one wants to die

Discussion in 'Completed Fan Fictions' started by kadoodle, Dec 2, 2010.

  1. kadoodle

    kadoodle crazy cat lady Staff Member

    Rating: 12+
    Main Characters: GW/MW/FI/RT/random ofc's and others.
    Summary: High school, G's Junior year, how to escape from reality, burn your pain and try to take them with you.
    Genre: drama/romance

    Chapter Index:
    Chapter One- page one
    Chapter two - page one
    Chapter three - page one
    Chapter four - page one
    chapter five - page two
    chapter six - page two
    chapter seven - page two
    Chapter eight - page three
    Chapter nine - page three
    Chapter ten - page three
    Chapter eleven - page three
    Chapter twelve - page four
    Chapter thirteen - page four
    Chapter fourteen - page four
    Chapter fifteen - page five
    Chapter sixteen - page five
    Chapter seventeen - page five
    Chapter eighteen - page six
    Chapter nineteen - page six
    Chapter twenty - page seven
    Chapter twenty one - page seven
    Chapter twenty two - page seven
    Chapter twenty three - page seven
    Chapter twenty four - page eight
    Chapter twenty five - page eight
    Chapter twenty six - page eight
    Chapter twenty seven - page nine
    Chapter twenty eight - page nine
    Chapter twenty nine - page nine
    Chapter thirty - page nine
    Chapter thirty one - page ten
    Chapter thirty two - page ten
    Chapter thirty three - page ten
    Chapter thirty four - page ten
    Chapter thirty five - page eleven
    Chapter thirty six - page eleven
    Chapter thirty seven - page eleven
    Chapter thirty eight - page eleven
    Chapter thirty nine - page twelve
    Chapter fourty - page twelve
    Chapter fourty one - page twelve
    Chapter fourty two - page thirteen
    Chapter fourty three - page thirteen
    Chapter fourty four - page fourteen
    Chapter fourty five - page fourteen
    Chapter fourty six - page fourteen
    Chapter fourty seven - page fifteen
    Chapter fourty eight - page fifteen
    Chapter fourty nine - page fifteen
    Chapter fifty - page sixteen


    Ch 1 - Take me on, I dare you

    It was a Monday morning, cold and damp. The kind of damp that permeates everything and gets into your lungs. Gerard slunk lower under his bedclothes, trying not to hear the clatter downstairs or his younger brother Mikey singing something incomprehensible in the shower. Cheerful git. What's to sing about on a shitty Monday morning anyway? Especially when you're just about to start your Junior year and everyone still hates you from being the biggest loser Sophmore in the history of Sophmores.

    "Gerard!" Hollered his mother up the stairs, "Get your lazy butt out of bed and come eat some breakfast!"

    He pulled the pillow over his head and his knees up to his chest, squeezing his eyes shut as he heard her thudding up the stairs. The pipes in the old house shuddered loudly as Mikey jammed off the shower and yanked the shower curtain open.

    Donna pulled open the door, bringing with her the aroma of coffee, toast and shampoo. Sighing, she pulled back the covers and gave Gerard a shove in the small of his back.

    "Get up," she repeated, "it can't be as bad as you think"

    "What would you know?" Muttered Gerard, scrabbling to get the covers back over himself, embarassed at his mother seeing him half naked.

    Donna snorted, "much more than you realise kiddo, now come eat something. Things are always better when you're not hungry"

    Grumbling to himself, Gerard dragged on some clothes and gave his hair a lick and a promise with a comb before stomping down the stairs. Mikey was already dressed and sitting at the table eating toast when he walked into the kitchen. Little jerk, thought Gerard, no-one's going to pick on him today, try to tip him in a dumpster or kick his feet out from under him. He grabbed a slice of toast, gulped a mouthfull of orange juice, grabbed his bag and set off for school, ignoring his mother's goodbyes and his brothers pleas to ride the bus with him.

    It was much quicker to take the bus, as the walk to school took almost and hour. But the discomfort of frozen extremities was far outweighed by the pain of bullying he'd be sure to cop on the bus. Stuffing his hands into his jeans pockets, Gerard bowed his head against the cold and trudged off towards school, willing the walk to never end. But eventually it did. And they were there waiting just outside the gate for him.

    Dean, Matt, Sean and Daniel, plus the usual crowd of hangers on spoiling for a hazing of the fat, unpopular kid. Dropping his schoolbag onto the sidewalk and kicking it out of the way, Gerard gave them his best cool glare, hands clenched tightly into fists to stop them shaking.

    "Go on," he shouted, trying to sound tougher than he felt "take a swing, I dare you!"
     
  2. Kriss

    Kriss Mrs. Sherlock

    Hey there!
    The top of your post should look like this;

    Title: place the title of your fiction.
    Rating: U/PG/12/15/18+ (See Ratings guide)
    Main Characters: Band Member/OFC
    Summary: A brief sketch of what your story is about.
    Genre: Add the most important genre(s) of your story.
    Chapter Index:
    Chapter One- page one

    Thank you!
    Nice start btw ;)
     
  3. SaviourofTheBroken

    SaviourofTheBroken New Member

    I like this :3
     
  4. kadoodle

    kadoodle crazy cat lady Staff Member

    OK, have sorted out the title page. Will be back with an update later....
     
  5. xx_insanity

    xx_insanity New Member

    I like it!! :DD
     
  6. kadoodle

    kadoodle crazy cat lady Staff Member

    Chapter 2

    They didn't need asking twice. Jumping the fence, Matt grabbed Gerard by the front of his jacket and headbutted him in the nose. Gerard reeled backwards, only to be shoved forwards again by someone in the crowd which had formed. They stood in a circle, chanting for a fight, catcalling and whistling to egg Matt on. Stumbling, Gerard gingerly felt his nose but looked up too late to do anything about the punch to the side of his face. It felt like he'd been hit with a sledgehammer. Seconds later the other side of his face hit the sidewalk, grazing his cheek. Looking up, he saw a boot heading for his stomach when...

    "Matthew Charles, are you fighting?"

    It sounded like a woman's voice, a teacher must have spotted them and come to pull them apart. He heard the clatter of high heeled shoes on the stone steps somewhere in front of him and Matt's shuffled footfalls back into the crowd.

    "No Miss, this boy fell over and we were all just seeing what was wrong" came Dean's voice. A few people sniggered.

    "A likely story" snapped the woman, now kneeling beside Gerard, "now get out of here, all of you. Not you Matthew, you can go and wait outside the staffroom for me. You can help me get this boy to the nurse, Dean, since you've got so much to say"

    Opening his eyes a crack, Gerard looked up and saw that he didn't recognise the woman. But he certainly recognised the look Matt gave him as he sloped off into the school building. Dean pulled him roughly to his feet, slammed his schoolbag into his stomach and shoved him in the direction Matt had gone, before whispering in his ear
    "wait till lunch, loser."

    ..................

    Holding his bag like a shield, Gerard limped off to the nurses station, where she gave him an asprin and told him to get on with his day and stop causing trouble. Holding the asprin in his fist, he headed to the bathroom where he gulped it down before examining his reflection. Wincing, he fingered the bruise and graze on his cheekbone, but as his nose had stopped bleeding, he guessed it wasn't broken this time.

    Stupid face. He glared at his reflection, taking in his chubby cheeks and the start of a double chin under the splatters of blood. Wetting some toilet paper, he washed the worst of the blood off, reassuring himself that at least the bruises would distract people from the pudge.

    .........

    The bell rang, so tearing himself away from the mirror, Gerard jostled his way back out through the hallway to a timetable, finally located himself and limped as fast as he could to his first lesson.

    Arriving late, he slid into the last desk left and dumped his books on top of it, accidently spilling loseleaf all over the desk next to him. Mumbling an apology, he scrabbled for the cascading papers, brushing a hand as he did so.

    "Let me help you" came a girl's voice, "you look like your day's been pretty poop so far"
     
  7. kadoodle

    kadoodle crazy cat lady Staff Member

    No one? I'll be back later to update if anyone wants....
     
  8. xx_insanity

    xx_insanity New Member

    I want an updateeee! :D
     
  9. kadoodle

    kadoodle crazy cat lady Staff Member

    Chapter 3

    Startled, Gerard stumbled backwards, knocking his chair over with a clatter and landing in an awkward heap on the dirty lino floor. Flushing, he started to scramble to his feet when someone shoved him from behind, sending him sprawling again, this time into the table, knocking his pencilcase and textbooks to the floor.

    "Hey, stop that! What's he ever done to you!?"

    Gerard dragged himself to his feet to find the girl he'd been sitting next to and one of her friends standing, hands on hips, between him and Matt. Another girl, Anna someone, he knew her by sight but had never spoken to her, slipped between the rows of tables and started to help him pick up his things.

    "f**k off you stupid hoes" Matt replied, "that little smartarse got me a detention this morning"
    "I doubt it" snorted his neighbour. What was her name? Head bent low over his spilled papers, Gerard racked his brains but came up blank. Smiling shyly and blushing at Anna for helping him, he straightened his desk back up and walked up to stand, biting his lip with fear, beside the two other girls and face to face with Matt.
    Matt opened his mouth for an angry retort but the classroom door swung open again and the teacher walked in, balancing a teetering stack of textbooks in her arms and carrying a school map and timetable in her mouth.
    "Sorry I'm a bit late class" she called, muffled by the papers. Rolling her eyes, she took them out of her mouth and turned to write on the whiteboard.
    "I'll get you" mouthed Matt, before returning to his desk at the back of the room.

    "Thanks" whispered Gerard as he took his seat next to the girl again.
    "No problem" she replied "I'm Katy,by the way." She had blue eyes, very blue, and long light brown hair pulled into a high ponytail. She was pretty in an angular sort of way. Her friend next to her leaned over
    "and I'm Maria", she breathed. Chubby and cute, she had pink cheeks and long brown curls, her dark eyes almost hidden beneath an overgrown fringe.
    "I'm Gerard" he said, leaning towards them in order to keep his voice down.
    They both smiled back at him, before opening their books as the teacher turned back around.

    ..........................


    Because he was dreading it, lunchtime rolled around really fast. The bell rang to signal the end of French class and Gerard scooped up his folder and books, gritting his teeth against the pain of the fresh bruises in his back and legs, before hurrying towards his locker. Hopefully if he moved fast enough, he could dump his books and find a quiet spot where they wouldn't find him. Maybe the library, he could work on his new comic in peace and eat his sandwiches up the back behind the encyclopedias.

    He'd just reached his locker and was twisting the combination lock when someone shoved him from behind again, slamming him hard against the tin lockers.
    "No girls to stick up for you now" came Matt's snarling voice. Shoving Gerard aside, he wrenched open the locker and started pulling the books onto the floor, before grabbing Gerards lunchbag and tipping his sandwiches out and kicking them away. "You don't need those, fatso" he sniggered, before backhanding him across the face and sauntering off.

    Shaking, Gerard stuffed his books back into his locker, pulled a five dollar note and a slim bottle of bourbon from his schoolbag, stuffed them both into his jacket pocket and walked quickly in the opposite direction. He brought a hamburger, twinkie and bottle of coke from the tuckshop and set off for the hockey oval, which was recessed into the side of a hill. There, hidden beneath the lip of the field, he ate his lunch, downed the alcohol and sat, clutching the bottle of soda and willing himself not to cry.
     
  10. kadoodle

    kadoodle crazy cat lady Staff Member

    Chapter 4


    All too soon the bell rang for the end of lunchtime and the start of the final two classes of the day. Gerard heaved himself up off the ground and slung the empty bottle of booze down the slope towards the perimeter fence. Feeling slightly lightheaded and unsteady on his feet, he stumbled back to the lockers and checked what his last two classes were. Double gym. Yay. What a way to end the day. At least being the first day back and with no change of clothing they couldn't be doing anything too worrying.

    Grabbing his bag, Gerard dithered towards the gymnasium, figuring that if he was too late then he wouldn't have to suffer the humiliation of people refusing to let him sit next to them. He could just take whatever seat was left and not look at anyone.

    When he arrived however, no-one was sitting down. The 30 boys that made up the class were all filing towards the changerooms.
    "Scuse me sir" began Gerard "what should I do? I don't have a change."
    "We're doing heights and weights today, kid" replied the coach, "go strip to your underwear and wait in the hall with everyone else"
    "What?!" It came out in a high-pitched, strangled kind of voice, barely repressed panic making him louder than he intended.
    "Even you, Way" drifted back the coach's voice, as he turned his back to rummage in the storage locker at the back of the classroom.

    No bloody way, thought Gerard, no way on God's green earth am I stripping in public. Hunching his shoulders, he waited outside the changeroom for everyone else, then followed them to the hall, hugging his bag to his chest and biting his lip nervously. He'd never rebelled like this before, but he desperately didn't want to shame himself by being seen in public in just his boxer shorts.

    Sitting at the rear of the hall and feeling awkward, Gerard ignored the sniggers of his classmates and waited for the coach to arrive....


    (Sorry this one's a bit short, I have a toddler hanging off me!)
     
  11. kadoodle

    kadoodle crazy cat lady Staff Member

    is anyone following this? Does anyone want an update?
     
  12. SaviourofTheBroken

    SaviourofTheBroken New Member

    Yeaaah, I love it so far, seems a little different from other highschool fics, you know, they all start to get a bit samey after a while, but I like this ^^
     
  13. xx_insanity

    xx_insanity New Member

    I wanna updatee! :DD
     
  14. kadoodle

    kadoodle crazy cat lady Staff Member

    Chapter 5

    There were 28 other boys in the class, all of them sitting cross-legged in their boxer shorts on the wooden floor of the basketball court. All skinny legs and jutting ribs, they compared potiential six-packs and budding chest hair. Gerard watched them from the back of the hall, still dressed in jeans and a tee-shirt, doc martin boots laced halfway up and folded over, trying to ignore their stares and sniggers.

    The door below the stage slammed and the coach walked in, holding a set of scales and a milk crate with a clipboard balanced on top.
    "Single file, everyone line up in front of me!" He had a bellow that would have carried to the back of a stadium. In the confines of the hall it sounded like a sonic boom, followed by the scrabbling of bare feet on wood as the boys scrambled to their feet. Gerard stayed where he was, less sure now on the course of action he'd started to undertake.


    "You too, Way" hollered the coach, "don't think you can hide back there!"
    Jamming his hands into his pockets, Gerard slouched forwards. As he reached the other boys, the coach grabbed him by the shoulder and steered him to the front of the line.
    "Strip!" He barked, "you're no different to the rest of us and you can go first for playing up."

    Cheeks burning, Gerard bent down began to unlace his boots
    "Faster kid, faster" came the shouted command from above.
    Fingers trembling, Gerard scrabbled with his shoelaces, pulled off his docs and wriggled out of his jeans. Looking imploringly at the coach in his underwear and tee-shirt, he stepped forward, arms folded nervously in front of him.
    Leaning forward, the coach yanked up the front of his shirt, "arms up, off it comes" he snapped, "now step onto the scales for me."

    Tears of humiliation stung in his eyes as Gerard stepped forward, looking determindly at the back wall. He didn't want to know what the number was, but the coach called it out anyway.
    "203 lb, now go stand over there ready to get your height measured"
    The other boys in the class sniggered at him. Ashamed, Gerard snatched his shirt off the floor and pulled it over his head, trying determindly to ignore his classmates stares. Knowing that he was about to lose the fight with the traitor tears, he grabbed his jeans and boots and ran out of the hall towards the bathroom. Once there, he finished getting dressed, before returning to his locker, collecting his books and leaving for home.

    ..........................


    It was a long, chilly walk home, but at least by the time he'd got there the tears had dried. His parents and grandparents were still at work, so Gerard let himself in the back door and padded downstairs to the basement. There it was. The perfect thing to drown and numb the day he'd had.
    Grappa.
    He grabbed a bottle of the homemade wine and scurried up to his bedroom, latched the door behind him and unscrewed the cap.
    Goodbye pain.
     
  15. xx_insanity

    xx_insanity New Member

    Aw. I feel sorry for Gee. But, good story. More when you can? [:
     
  16. kadoodle

    kadoodle crazy cat lady Staff Member

    Chapter 6


    The grappa burned his throat like acid, hurting all the way down to his stomach. Hugging himself, Gerard swigged from the bottle in a panicked frenzy, trying to drown as much pain as he could as quickly as he could.

    The back door slammed. Frantic, Gerard screwed the cap back on the bottle and stashed under the bottom draw of his desk, replacing the draw as silently as possible, he reached under his mattress and pulled out a packet of chewing gum, shoving a piece into his mouth and chewing hurridly to disguise the smell of the alcohol.

    "G!" It was Mikey's voice, thank God, for a moment he'd thought it was mom or dad home early "You home?"
    "Yeah, in my room" he called back, letting out the breath he was holding and unlatching his door.
    Mikey thundered up the stairs - how did someone so skinny make so much noise? - and swung around the doorframe, slinging himself onto his older brother's bed.
    "You been drinking again G?" he asked, sitting up and pulling squashed a mars bar from his jeans pocket.
    "You'd drink too if you'd had the type of shitty day I've had" replied Gerard, leaning over and breakin off a piece of his brother's chocolate
    "Hey!" Protested Mikey, lunging for his stolen candy, "that's mine, I need it more than you!"
    Ignoring his baby brother, Gerard shoved the chocolate into his mouth and waggled his backside at Mikey, who jumped onto his back and tried to wrestle him to the floor. Flipping his brother easily onto his back, Gerard sat on top of him, pinning him to the carpet.
    "Holler?" He asked, swallowing the prize.
    Mikey struggled fruitlessley for a moment, before replying "holler" and sticking out his tongue.
    Gerard climbed off Mikey and was just helping him to his feet when the back door banged again and his mother's voice rang out "Gerard Way, get your backside down here right now!"

    Oh poop. First and last name. She must be mad. Gerard straightened his shirt and detoured past the bathroom to splash water on his face before sloping off downstairs to face the music.
    "Where were you this afternoon?" She demanded as he appeared at the bottom of the stairs. A brown bag of groceries in her arms and still wearing her heavy winter coat, she looked livid, "School called and told me you'd run off from your last class. You'd better have a darned good reason for it, let me tell you!"
    Eyes on the floor, Gerard mumbled something incomprehensible.
    Sighing, his mom passed him the bad. "Put these away then, and go back to your room until your father gets home. If you won't tell me, you can explain it to him!"
    "It was gym class" he burst out, "they were all laughing at me! I just came home though, I haven't been anywhere else!"
    She shook her head, giving him a lood of frustration mingled with amusement, "well if you slimmed down a bit you wouldn't have that problem would you? Now lets get this lot away and you can make a start on your homework."
    Biting his lip, grateful that he seemed to have avoided punishment, Gerard turned and walked towards the kitchen as his mom stepped back outside to light a cigarette. Shoving the groceries away in the fridge, he grabbed a can of coke and headed back up to his bedroom, thankful that she hadn't smelled the wine on him.
    Biting his lip, Gerard shook his head
     
  17. kadoodle

    kadoodle crazy cat lady Staff Member

    No readers? Oh well, will update anyways....


    Chapter 7


    The next morning dawned bright, cold and clear. Crawling out of bed, Gerard threw on some jeans and a shirt, pulled on a jumper and padded downstairs. He paused in the kitchen long enough to register that no-one else was up yet and pulled a tub of ice cream from the freezer. Grabbing a spoon from the drawer, he leaned against the counter and dug in, ears pricked for the sounds of anyone stirring upstairs. He'd made his way through almost half the tub - a new one, vanilla - when he heard his parents' alarm clock go off. Jamming the ice cream back into the freezer spoon and all, he turned the kettle on and busied himself getting out mugs and instant coffee before the rest of the family joined him.

    A few minutes later Gerard and Mikey's father Don loped down the stairs, pulling on his coat as he did so. Reaching for the proffered coffee from his son, he dunked some bread in the toaster and perched himself on the edge of the bench.
    "So what happened yesterday at school" It wasn't a question.
    "Some kids were having a go at me in gym, so I left and came home. I just walked home and started my homework" Damn. So much for getting out of a telling off. He'd figured that when his mom had let the matter slide and his dad hadn't got home from work until after he'd gone to bed, he was off the hook.
    "Gym's a part of your school curriculum, just as important as math or english" scolded his father, "you'll need a pass to get into college"
    Scowling, Gerard pulled out a chair and slouched down at the table, cradling his coffee in both hands, "sorry dad" he muttered, looking into the mug.
    "Just don't let me hear about you doing it again" sighed Don, leaning over to ruffle his son's hair before passing him some toast and the butter.

    .............

    After breakfast, Gerard grabbed his bag and - ignoring Mikey's repeated protests that they should catch the bus together - set off on the long walk for school.
    Feeling slightly nauseaus from all the ice cream, he was pulling a packet of Malboros from his jacket pocket when he heard a girl's voice calling his name. Turning on his heel, he spotted Katy jogging up the sidewalk towards him, her blonde hair flying out behind her and cheeks rosy from the cold.
    "I thought you walked this way" she panted, comming to a halt beside him, "do you want to walk to school together?"
     
  18. PlanetaryGoGo

    PlanetaryGoGo Media Division

    Reading, just not commenting that much. :)
     
  19. kadoodle

    kadoodle crazy cat lady Staff Member

    is it worth me continuing?
     
  20. Chemical 30

    Chemical 30 Just 'That' Girl

    ~New Reader~
    Totally worth continuing
     

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