My life without me [Frerard]

Discussion in 'Completed Fan Fictions' started by Kriss, Apr 7, 2012.

  1. Kriss

    Kriss Mrs. Sherlock

    ElectricImploder: You made me so happy with that comment! I'm so glad you enjoy reading this and that you get a little emotional! Ahh I'd like to tell you how it's going to end but that would be a bad idea spoiling it, haha. But thank you very much!

    Chemical 30: Thank you!! I will update asap, but sometimes I can be a little slow, haha.
  2. I will comment soon, I swear. I'm kind of busy right now. :C
  3. Kriss

    Kriss Mrs. Sherlock

    ^Awh thanks, take the time you need <3
  4. ElectricImploder

    ElectricImploder New Member

    Yup I got way to emotional but that always happens when fanfics are like this. its a very emotional story and I love that, it makes it so much better to read c: its the description of their feelings, I think and your very good at writing that.

    And I'm pretty sure of how it will end but I love this too much so I'm trying to make different scenarios to make me happy. I guess the story can't go any other way so I'm just excited for the actual storyline because its amazing as I think I said already. yeah, I can't wait for your next update C:
  5. I feel so very bad that I didn't comment sooner. I've just been so extremely busy..

    'I must look like a ghost. I feel more and more like a walking dead. I can almost smell death…' I adore this line to pieces for some reason. <3

    'You’re dying and I’m falling in love with you. There’s nothing okay with that. It’s a f**king tragedy.' I couldn't help but laugh out loud. I just imagined Frank being all serious over their make out session yelling at Gee how their romance is so very hopeless. But I like how it, at least for me, eased the tense atmosphere.

    I have a feeling that Frank's more into all the love stuff they have going on than Gerard & it almost seems like Gerard doesn't care.. or he cares really little. Frank is in a position where he's poured over with sympathy and he can't really think staright. All the deep talk and everything refers to the fact he's living in a fantasy and it will be a hard fall when he gets back home.. It will change his life for sure, but I don't think as much as he thinks it will right now.

    Gerard seems to want to save him. You know the I-am-about-to-die-I-want-to-do-something-meaningful. And I think it's what his side of the romance is about.

    It is beautiful and romantic, but I can't stop analysing, what's really going on in their pretty little heads.

    I like how you mentioned God and believing. It's this thing that has to come into consideration before you die. And I'm happy Gerard doesn't think God is being unfair to him. It's nice he's taking death easily, even though I have a feeling there will be some kind of a outburst coming soon. You can't be this calm and everything when there's cancer and thoughts about dying bubling up inside of you.

    Like always I enjoyed this a lot & I can't wait for another amazing update,
  6. Kriss

    Kriss Mrs. Sherlock

    Thank you sweety <3 Always lowely to read your comments <3
    Yeah you're right Frank's more into their romance than Gerard. It's not that Gerard doesn't care but he's so in term with reality and know they can't be together for long, so he's scared to fall too deeply in love when it's so little time left. He really cares for Frank and he wants to make sure Frank will lead a good life when he's gone. But he's actually slowly falling in love :)
  7. Every time I read I cry... your writing is beautiful x
    It's inspiring and I thank you for the most amazing, touching story I have every read xxx
  8. Kriss

    Kriss Mrs. Sherlock

    ^Thank you so much! You just made my day with those words :) I'm really happy to have you as a reader!
  9. Update please. !"#¤"#/(#/)=&%W"#%¤"#&

    EDIT: I'm horrible for pushing you but I really really want to read on.
  10. Kriss

    Kriss Mrs. Sherlock

    Haha sometimes I really need to be pushed so I'll start on the chapter now ;)
  11. Kriss

    Kriss Mrs. Sherlock

    Chapter 7 – Turning point

    Dear diary. It feels like I’ve been living some kind of fairy tale the last couple of days. Getting closer to Frank have made me feel so alive I’m sometimes forgetting about the cancer. It’s surreal how my mind can fool me with the biggest lies and yet I seem to go along with it. It’s like my brain and my body is completely separated and the only thing keeping it together is my desperate need for hope. I’ve always had a grasp around hope but now it’s turning into my worst enemy. I have no hope anymore, and why should I? I think I’m at some kind of turning point where everything I’ve build mentally to prepare myself for death is slipping. I don’t know whether it’s because of my relations to Frank or the fact that I’m getting closer to my final destination. I’ve always built my trust in reality but now it’s slipping between my fingers and all I can do is close my eyes and hope for a new, better fantasy with me in it.

    I never thought of the fact that this is, and always will be, my life without me.


    Chaos. Everything was turning into a big chaos. Our camp was literally being destroyed by the power of the nature… A somehow mild storm had hit us not long ago and it seemed angry. I held my backpack as my life depended on it as it contained all my medication. Ray had saved a backpack too, but everything else was being ripped to shreds in front of our eyes, as we kept a tight grip around a tree.

    It took about fifteen more minutes until the wind stopped howling and turned lazy. The shock was written all over our faces, looking at what used to be our camp. All our things were either gone or ruined. The only thing left that still seemed to be okay was a small tent that now hung in a tree.

    Bob was looking at the tent and I could literally see the smoke boil from his head. “Now we’re going to have to live in a tent made for anorexic pixies!” Bob exclaims, throwing his arms in the air and kicking the tree with his big boots.

    “This camping trip is ruined.” Mikey shouts and all eyes turn to his direction. “Can we go home now?” The frustration was overwhelming and the tension between us was turning dangerously high. Right now Mikey was being a cry baby, and it did not help.

    “That is f**king unfair of you to ask!” I shout back as I walk over to my brother. Mikey had always been taller than me but he never scared me. He was usually harmless but at this point I couldn’t stand him. Actually I couldn’t stand anyone at this point. The tension was driving me insane, and before I knew it the words came out like word vomit; “You just wanna go home so you can boyband some pill-ripended, teen mom-to-be again, don’t you?”

    Mikey’s pupils dilate. “Shut the f**k up Gerard, that is not your saying!” The force of his voice makes me feel slightly uneasy.

    “Oh yeah? What about that time in the trailer? Or the washing machine?” I snicker. “Just admit it, you wh**emaker.”

    At this point Mikey was so close to my face I could feel the saliva on my face as he roared. “I’ve walked this ill advice trip for f**king weeks now, just for you! And you know what? It’s like going for a walk with a sick, white Oprah, you would HATE you right now!”

    I take a step back, still snickering. I felt….I don’t know, somehow pathetic. Believing the five of us would survive this trip together as best friends were actually quite insane to believe. This trip was probably the hardest thing any of us had ever done, and now all our stuff was gone and all we had was each other to yell at. “I’m going for a walk…” I mumble before I disappear down the shore leaving the guys alone.

    I lay down on my stomach, feeling the grass between my fingers just as Frank appeared next to me. I turn one eye to look at him before I turn to the grass.

    “Listen…don’t worry ‘bout this, they’re all just tired.” Frank explains. I nod, slightly un-interested to what he says. “Besides, going home is not an option. This is not like going for an aids marathon. We don’t quit half way through the race.”

    I smile at Frank. I was seeing a whole other side of him. I was no longer looking at the scared, self-hated young man I did a week ago. He was changing, whether it was because of me or the trip didn’t matter, because he was turning into the man he always had the potential to be. And if I could save only one person this would all be worth it.

    Only second later the guys came running down to the shore, throwing off their shirts and running into the water, yelling at me and Frank to join. I start laughing, look at Frank and decide to join in. I jump onto Mikey’s back and lay my arms around his neck. The words didn’t need to be said. We didn’t have to apologize because no matter what happened we knew each other good enough for words. I fall down from his back as Frank splash me with water.

    Laughter. It was what we needed. Laughter.


    I'm sorry this chapter was so...I don't know, short? I haven't been feeling well lately so it took a lot of time to write it down and post it. Really sorry!
    Hmm I hope you're not too angry with Mikey, but I guess all of you can imagine the huge pressure and the poop they're going through with this trip, and I can only imagine how my mood woud be after weeks outside!
    Tell me what you think you lovely people :)
  12. XOLauzzCHEM

    XOLauzzCHEM Member

    Don't worry about the length of the chapter, it was great.
    I understand how Mikey feels, I'd feel the pressure as well on a trip like that, especially if all our stuff just got wrecked.

    I'm glad Frank's finally getting stronger.

    I really liked this chapter. :)
  13. “Oh yeah? What about that time in the trailer? Or the washing machine?” I snicker. “Just admit it, you wh**emaker.” Oh my God! I was just staring at the screen with my jaw on the floor. Hahahhaa. That was so epic!

    I am very happy that this fight happened. f**kING WEEKS OF STAYING OUTSIDE and they have dealt so good with it so far. A little bit of tension is always good for any story. I'm slightly confused about their past now though.

    Frank is getting his poop together! Wooop! At first I felt like he's going to get this temporary reality shock of some kind and he won't really change as a person, but I actually start to more and more think he will be okay when he gets home. That he's really going to change and start of a blank page.

    Gerard's health - the ultimate question hanging on us. Will he make it? How long does he have 'till it's finito? I sense that he's still not done or finished at all. I sense this trip might drag longer than they have originally planned. I wonder if the guys already think like, "I wish we could get over with it already and go back to our lives because this isn't really going anywhere." What are they doing in the forests anyway? 5 guys running around like wild animals for weeks has never gotten a good outcome. (Not like I know, but.. whatever..) I would have gotten so fed up with Gee already. I can understand Mikey doing it for Gerard, and I get why Frank's all euphoric about it, but I would be skinning animals out of frustration already. Weeks sleeping in a tent - that's more than awful.

    I'm glad they made up though. Means that they have really grown close and that they can forgive and move on. It's very lovely.

    It's almost annoying how good your writing is.. and it doesn't help that you don't speak English as your mother tongue. This chapter was very inspirational and it made me think and I needed that, so thank you! I also feel like writing another chapther for my own story, but I'm inspirationally drained and I have so much poop to deal with right now, so it isn't going anywhere. I have gotten concentration to only write like a couple of paragraphs that don't even match. But f**k that, I'll work it out.

    LOVED IT AS ALWAYS & On the edge of my seat to read more!
    Ursula, xo


    YOUR DISPLAY PICTURE!!! asdfghfdjdyktel <3
  14. Kriss

    Kriss Mrs. Sherlock

    XOLauzzCHEM: Ahh dunno your name haha. But thank you, I was actually a bit worried about this chapter might not be that good. I've just been feeling weird and it was actually so hard to write I had to force myself and it didn't quite turn out the way I wanted but I think I got the message right. So thanks :)

    Ursula: Yeah Mikey has a bit of a past. He's got his little girls though, but that sure doesn't mean he's a saint, haha. And you're right, this fight had to happen. Or else it would just be weird... It might seem like this story is dragging out since they've been going for so long but I feel like you need to know the characters a bit more before it's the end of it. I want you to be attached to the characters, espesically Gerard and Frank, before it's all gone, 'cause that way it will hurt more in the end and you will remember. Haha, I'm mean, but that's how I want it.
    I'm glad you're more inspirated to write now, cause I wanna read your story! Remember you can PM me and talk, since you have a lot to deal with now as you said, maybe I can help :)
    Thank you so much for your lovely comment <3
  15. '...'cause that way it will hurt more in the end and you will remember.'

    THAT IS SO HORRIBLE! : ( I know that it has to be that way, but really??? You will have me as a sobbing emotional wreck when this comes to an end. Then it's your job to make me better again. Haha.

    & I'll PM you in a sec, love!

  16. Freiheit483

    Freiheit483 Member

    That was a lovely chapter, it does not matter about the length :)
    Apart from the little bit of the snappy bits from Gerard and Mikey, but it felt like it was necessary? You writing continues to nearly make me cry, your so good.
    I loved the update, so update whenever you feel like it? :) xx
  17. Kriss

    Kriss Mrs. Sherlock

    ^You're so sweet, thank you :) And yeah the fight was necessary. It was originally supposed to be a longer fight but for some reason it changed when I started writing.

  18. You seriously owe me a very fluffy one-shot after you finish this 'cause I can't deal with it like that!

    Ps! I didn't forget your PM, but right now I have no time to get back at you. But I want you to know that it made me feel better & you're amazing, Kriss!
  19. XOLauzzCHEM

    XOLauzzCHEM Member

    My name is Lauzz :)

    Aw really? I'm going to miss this when it's done. I think I'll have to agree with Ursula about the fluffy one-shot, haha.
  20. Kriss

    Kriss Mrs. Sherlock

    Haha, yeah maybe I'll write a fluffy oneshot for you guys ;)

    I'm a bit slow with the update. I've been really busy. But it should be up soon!

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