Discussion in 'Creative Writing' started by Georgia, Feb 14, 2012.

  1. Georgia

    Georgia Guest


    I've been sitting on this particular poem for a while and was wondering if you guys could read it?

    I just want to know if it's any good, if you get what's happening and how to improve.

    It's called Evolution: and it goes like this

    Twisting metal
    Crunching, Writhing
    An untimely car crash of sin.
    Pulling, repelling
    Neither one meaning
    A mess of bloodthirsty skin.
    Shuddering, screeching
    Rubber and paint smearing
    No one has eyes for good.
    Gnarled flesh melting in
    Ludicrous pride
    Oozing like the hatred in his mind.
    Disgust and dirt etched into shady lies.
    Forever leaving a nasty taste
    Not only in the eyes of the beholder
    But in the eyes of all.
    Although they just won’t admit it yet.
    They’ll just stand and watch the car crash.
    Everyone slows to watch a car crash.
    They can’t help it.

    It’s human nature.

    Thanks for taking the time to read it.
  2. HollowPistol

    HollowPistol Guest

    I love it, nice work. :)
  3. Asthma_Turtle

    Asthma_Turtle Active Member

    I love it too.
  4. Georgia

    Georgia Guest

    Aww thank you very much both of you :)
    You've made my day
  5. Dust Angel

    Dust Angel Unloveable. Staff Member

    The imagery's wonderful, great job [:
  6. Georgia

    Georgia Guest

    Thanks :) It means a lot
  7. Mattie990

    Mattie990 New Member

    Epic poem :)

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