Chapter 1 I sat on the couch, across from my psychiatrist. "I don't know where to begin" I mumbled, leaning back on the couch. "Start from the beginning, I need to understand where you are coming from Gerard, I need to understand why you did what you did" he explained, waiting for my response. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, "I've never talked about it before" I started, because I hadn't, I'd thought about it a lot, it's really all I can think about. "That's okay, gather your thoughts" he said as he scribbled something on his notepad. Dr. Walker is always willing to wait, I've been coming to him for almost a month now, twice a week, we haven't made any progress whatsoever. "Start with, why you did it, what crossed your mind while you were holding the gun to your chest, please make me understand Gerard," he pleaded. I guess he really did want to understand, not like the other doctors I had, they weren't interested in me, just the money I gave them. "I really don't know Doctor, if I knew I wouldn't be in this place," I said. I've been here for a month, here being James River. James River is a loony bin, there are people here who've tried to kill their parents, people who have eating disorders, people that are manic depressives, I could go on and on. Everyone is wondering why I'm here, why is Gerard Way, the successful, looked up to, frontman of My Chemical Romance in with these crazies? The answer is pretty simple, not difficult to understand at all. I snapped, plain and simple. All of these kids, they thought I was stable and that I could save them. Maybe I did save a few of them; I've heard so many of their stories. But the stress of everything caught up with me, I couldn't handle it anymore. I had no one to lean on, no one to save me...from myself. Ha! If only I could tell Dr. Walker all of that, maybe we could make some progress. I haven't talked to anyone since I've gotten here. Maybe because I've been in solitary confinement since I got here. That's not necessarily a bad thing; I dont think anyone else knows I'm here. Good thing too, I'd lose all of my fans; I'd lose everything I worked to hard for. I hate this place, I really do. I don't know why they put me in here, the only thing it's doing is driving me insane. "Talk to me Gerard, I know you're thinking about it," Dr. Walker says. "I know it's hard to get it out in the open," I mumbled. "Well, start from the beginning, tell me, day by day, what led up to you deciding to kill yourself?" he asked, he looked me straight in the eyes. I didn't dare lie to him; I took a deep breath, and began my story.