Rockhouse disasters [Ray/Gerard- not a rayard!!!] - Page 29 - The Black Parade

Seraphim · 11-12-2008, 05:20 AM

*new reader*

Oh god, the moment I saw the name; Billie Joe Armstrong I just had to read this whole thing!!!!

"Hot fast sweaty Sex with Billie Joe…."
I know that quote was ages ago, but it's just stuck with me.
Billie's a total asshole, and yet... he's just so damn sexy!!
I don't blame Gerard for... being unable to resist him. lol

I'm kinda shattered Gee got mad at BJ though... I mean he WAS a prick, but... come on!
It's Billie Joe!
And Gee really messed up in that last chapter too!

How embarrassing!!!!

More when you can.

Roze<3MCR · 11-19-2008, 05:21 PM

NEW PAGE! which i love. its a good feeling. :P

^ hallo new reader. wow someone REALLY likes Billie Joe and i dont think im talking bout my old geebear here! anyway thanks for reading and commenting ^_^

next chapter. short. im not sure what to think of your reactions...

Rozes POV

I slammed the door of his hotel room hard and stomped down the hall to the elevators.
Don’t think about it, don’t think about it, don’t think about it…
I pressed the button, and then to keep me distracted I kept clicking it, over and over again.

Don’t think about it, don’t…

But just standing still didn’t leave me enough to do to keep my mind occupied, and I soon found my lip quivering as the memories of what just happened came flooding back to me.

Overwhelmed I slumped against the wall opposite the elevator and slid down it, parallel to the fresh tears sliding down my face. As soon as I hit the floor I crumpled up, hugging my legs and sobbing into my knees.

I was overwhelmed by the sheer humiliation and mortification and rejection and the disappointment which all fuelled my self pity.

Oh my fucking god, what the hell have I done?

He was thinking of a guy whilst making love to me.
He couldn’t even remember my name.
All that flirting he was doing with me, noticing me and sweet talking me, and he had no clue who I was. I was just a piece of arse. What made him any different from that druggy who felt me up that he so proudly ‘saved’ me from?
God, I felt so stupid! Of course that’s how he saw me; that’s probably how he sees all girls. He’s the lead singer of a pretty fucking famous rock band for fucks sake!
But I still couldn’t get over it: he was thinking of a MAN whilst he was with me. Not any man, but Billie Joe Armstrong. Lead singer of another pretty fucking famous rock band.
Fuck this was so twisted.
He pictured his face on mine, wishing he was there in my place…
I felt disgusting. I felt contaminated, as if I should have a warning on me:

WARNING: this person is so disgustingly dirty she is harmful to health.

I wanted a shower just to get the feel and touch of him off of my skin. Just to wash away the memory of this night.
Dancing madly in front of everyone, attacked by that huge druggy, stripping off and dancing on the table, the booze and drugs, the sex- oh god just take it all away from my mind, please! It’s more than I can bear!

After a few minutes of crying curled up in the hallway I took a deep breath and sighed, stretching my legs in front of me. The elevator doors were open. But then it hit me: I didn’t know where I was or how to get to the bus. I didn’t even know where the bus was. Oh god, Jamie was going to be so pissed at me. I had no mobile and I didn’t know his number. I had no way of telling them where I was and if I was okay. I had just simply vanished.

I started crying again. Oh god, what do I do? I was drunk, high, very miserable and have no fucking idea where the hell I was. I wiped my cheeks hastily, black smudges appearing on my finger tips. I almost began to weep again. I must look really rough, like hell.

Then I mentally slapped myself. Standing up shakily, the crying had sobered me slightly and I could think with a somewhat clearer head. There was pretty much only one choice I had left. Stumbling down the dark corridor with my shoes still in my hand, I counted the doors. One, two, three. Mentally praying over and over that this was the right door, I timidly knocked on it.
No answer. I was getting really worried and was just about to leave when I heard some footsteps on the other side. The door opened and pyjama bottoms, a bare torso and a tired face with shaggy bed hair appeared before me, squinting in the darkness.

“Rozé? What are you doing here?” the dark eyes widened with surprise.

“Hi Ray. I’m really sorry, but can I crash on your couch tonight?” I pleaded.

“What? Yeah, of course! God! Are you okay?” he led me indoors and turned on the dim lights. I internally shuddered. I had seen enough dim lights for tonight.

“Yeah I’m fine” I said timidly.

“What happened? I thought you were at Ger-“

“I don’t want to talk about it. Sorry” I cut him off quickly and gave an apologetic smile. “I just need a place to stay the night.”

“Oh right. Okay, um- here I’ll get you a blanket.” He padded off in his bare feet to his bedroom and came back promptly “here ya go. Here’s a pillow as well.”

“Oh thanks you shouldn’t have, I could have just used a cushion.” I said meekly, taking the warm blue duvet and soft pillow and sitting down on the sofa.

“Don’t worry about it. If there’s anything you need, let me know.” He smiled at me, a light in the darkness.

“Thank you Ray.” I tried to sound as honest as I could.

“Don’t worry about it.” He shrugged.

“No, seriously, thank you. This- this means a lot to me.”

He bowed his head and shrugged again “your welcome. Good night.”

“Sweet dreams” I called after him as he disappeared into his bedroom. I snuggled down on the sofa, burying my face into the pillow. It smelt comforting and felt oddly warm. I smiled into it before drifting off to a thankfully dreamless sleep.
*

Rays POV

In the middle of the night I woke up again, not because some one else was banging on the door, helping deepen my already developing hangover. I just needed the bathroom.

Tiptoeing to it, I passed through the living room. I stalled to check if Rozé was okay. Thankfully, she was dead to the world. I smiled slightly as she snored and rolled over, then remembering why I was there and making my way quickly to the bathroom.

On my way back to the bedroom I looked over to check on her again. Her blanket had fallen off. I walked quietly over to pick it up from the floor. She was curled up in a little ball, her fist snugly under her chin, her lips slightly parted and making small breathy noises. I grinned; she looked so much like a toddler when she slept. I placed the blanket gently on her rising shoulders. I noticed a few wisps of hair stuck in her mouth so I gently plucked them out with my fingers. As I did so, her eyes fluttered open.

“Hey Ray” she whispered, barely making a sound.

“Shh, go back to sleep.” I soothed.

She snuggled back down, her eyelids just closed. Instinct made me close inI went to kiss her on her forehead, but just as I was doing so, she tilted her chin and met my lips with her own.
I was surprised to say the least, but I didn’t pull away. So we kissed; soft sweet little lip kissing, before she pulled away half coyly, half sleepily.

“Night night.” She murmured, giving me a shy sleepy grin.

“G’night” I whispered back. I stayed there, watching her and stroking her hair as she fell asleep.
It is an amazing thing to watch a human fall asleep. The way their eyelids flutter, the way their breathing regulates itself, and the way that they just appear so childlike in their vulnerability as they sleep. Not a care in the world.
As soon as she was gone, I kissed her forehead tenderly and went back to my bed, feeling very happy. Content? Satisfied? Fulfilled? No. There was no other way I could describe it, just happiness. I went to sleep smiling.

Suddenly I sat up fast, pulling myself from my subconscious, my bliss rapidly diminished.
What if she didn’t really want to kiss me? I mean, she was still drunk and half unconscious; she wasn’t capable of making straight forward decisions.
What if I was just a rebound from Gerard?
Oh god, oh please god no, anything but that.
I cringed into my hoodie that was serving as a makeshift pillow, from the awful realisation this may be the case.
Oh shit, god…
I felt like such an idiot. Shit shit shit shit shit.

Needless to say, I don’t think my sleep was as peaceful as I might have looked.

*chocolate muffins for everyone!*

Georgia · 11-19-2008, 05:31 PM

that was awesome
no ray, she likes you, dont be so harsh on yourself
thanks a lot for the update!!

Seraphim · 11-19-2008, 09:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Roze<3MCR

[b]NEW PAGE! which i love. its a good feeling. :P

^ hallo new reader. wow someone REALLY likes Billie Joe and i dont think im talking bout my old geebear here! anyway thanks for reading and commenting ^_^

Lol I LOVE BJ! xD
And I love how you portrayed him as a sex-manic because that's what he's actually like!!!

Anyways, poor Ray.

I feel sorry for him.
And I know just how Rozé feels about the whole shower thing and just wanting to feel clean.. it's awful.

More whenever you can! =]

Moonshyne · 11-20-2008, 12:50 AM

Hi Roze,

I loved this chapter. I felt sorry for her, that must have really hurt. I actually thought she might go back to Gerard's because she was lost. I'm glad she ended up with Ray, he's just so sweet. Poor thing thinks she's still drunk, I hope they find a way together. I really loved the moments between them.

Looking forward to more!!

lady-of-sorrows · 11-20-2008, 01:48 AM

wow, im so glad she found ray, and he better believe she loves him...

mabbii · 11-20-2008, 10:09 AM

I had no way of telling them where I was and if I was okay. I had just simply vanished.
Pssh, I know the feeling... *thinks back to this summer*

Good times, good times..

Anyway, yeah I agree with Seraphim.
BJ is hawt, sexmanic and oh so cool.
'Course he's a sexmanic, I mean, think about his initials... BJ... :P

ANYWAY
Damn, I feel so sorry for Ray
For a minute, he was so happy and then that major falldown.
I know that feeling too...

*thinks back to tuesday*

Roze<3MCR · 11-26-2008, 01:22 PM

wow i love all you guys so much! these comments really cheered me up!
anyway, i really shouldnt be doing this as im so far behind with work, but what the hell, its finished so nyah!
enjoy and leave comments please!

Rays POV

I wake up the next day in a way I didn’t appreciate with a heavy hangover: screaming.

Screeches- both male and female- pierce my ears and I groggily roll out of my bed warm bed and pick up a titanium drumstick I had in my room to defend myself against the attackers; seriously regretting the time we laughed in Brian’s face when he tried to give us taser guns to ward of stalkers.
I open my door but see Bob running into his bedroom, looking very worse for wear, his hands covering his face and repeating ‘sorry sorry sorry’ over and over again. By this time the screaming had stopped and I lower my raised arm and drumstick and scratch my head, trying to figure it all out.

Fortunately Bob revealed all to me when he saw I was watching, confused.
“Ray! there’s a chick in our shower! I didn’t mean it- I didn’t know! She- I- I didn’t do anything! They must’ve mixed up our rooms!” he runs up to me, totally shocked, his bloodshot baggy eyes wide and pointing wildly to the shower room.

I burst out laughing. Poor Bob- he had no idea. Oh god, poor Rozé. But it was just too hilarious. Maybe I was still a little drunk.
“Oh god! Bob! That’s Rozé! She crashed the night.” I say between laughs.

“Since when? Why the fuck does nobody tell me nothing!” he yells in frustration.

I’m still laughing, I can’t help it.

“Shut up! It’s not funny! I walked in on her showering!” Bob fumes.
This just makes me laugh all the harder at Bobs total shock and bewilderment.

“Okay okay, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you but you were sleeping off a drunk.” I manage to say when I catch my breath again.

Bob grumbles incoherently and rubs his palm into his tired eyes. “Whatever. I’m going to Mikey’s.”

“Why?” I yawn, my fatigue catching up with me.

“’cause I really need a piss!” he whispers harshly.

“Fine. Take the room card, I’m going back to bed.” I say, subconsciously scratching my back with the drumstick.

“Fine.” Bob does a very peculiar walk to the front door, snatched the room card out of the wall pocket and closed the door behind him.

That’s got to be the weirdest wake up call ever, I think to myself as I gratefully crawled back into my still warm covers and drifted back to sleep, with weird semi-dreams that only happen as your in-between consciousness, of myself being a furry drumstick, Bob being an alarm clock in Beauty and the Beast and Rozé was a swan that wouldn’t stop crowing.

I wake up about three hours later and with a clearer head manage to drag myself out of bed. I stand up clutching my hair, still woozy, and put on a t-shirt over my bare torso and unevenly walk out of the door. There’s no sign of Rozé: the blanket is neatly folded on top of the pillow on the side of the sofa. I walk over to the sofa, where I can see on the coffee table two blue paper cups and a large blue paper bag. I pick up one of the cups, which had ‘Café Nero’s’ stamped on the side, and ‘Bob’ scrawled in a permanent marker on the other. The other blue cup had ‘Ray’ scribbled in the same handwriting. The bag contained two lemon-and-poppy seed muffins and two croissants, still warm. A little envelope was attached to the back of the back, which simply stated ‘Read Me’. So I do.

Dear Ray and Bob,

Thanks for letting me crash the night. I really appreciate it, ‘especially because it was so late at night and I woke you up and stole your pillows and blankets and towels. I got you guys breakfast. There wasn’t a starbucks near by (can you Americans even imagine such a thing!) but this is another chain run coffee shop that’s found all over the UK, so close enough. Enjoy!
Many thanks once again,
Rozé x.

P.S. sorry Bob for scaring you!

I smile to myself and read it over again, laugh a little and put it back in the envelope. Realising how hungry I am at the sheer smell of the muffins I snatch one up and bite into it, savouring the mouthful. I follow that by a quick slurp of coffee. Not bad, I grin to myself, and eat the rest of the muffin in three bites.

Bob stumbles out of his room, changed but as if the lights were out. He is wearing a black and white polka dot sock and a pink and brown striped one, and his t-shirt on backwards.

“m’ning” he mumbles, rubbing sleep out of his eye. He stops and looks at the coffee cup in my hand.

“Food?” he asks, his eyes full of childlike hope.

I smile and throw the muffin bag to him. He catches it and devours a croissant like a wild animal and then polishes off the muffin. He is just about to take a bite of the other croissant.

“Hey that’s mine!” I yell, chucking the pillow at him to deter him.

He dodges it “should have taken it when you had the chance, buddy.” He grins and bites into my croissant defiantly.

I jump over the sofa and football tackle him. He lands smack on his back and I snatch up the pastry.

“My croissant.” I say childishly and shove it all in my mouth. I walk away, wiping the flakey crumbs away with my hand and grab my coffee off the table.

“You fucker.” Bob winces as he pushes himself up off of the hardwood floor. “Fuck you. Even Frank wouldn’t do that.” He arches his back painfully.

“Guess I’m not Frank then” I shrug and sip my coffee.

“Fuck. What the fuck was that? You high on something?” he groans, limping towards me.

“Coffee?” I smirk, sipping again and slumping back on the sofa.

“Dude, not even coffee gets you that wound up.” he sprawls next to me “only when you haven’t played in like, two weeks coz your d string snapped…”

“Yeah, that was a bad time for me” I mockingly sigh heavily, remembering that awful fortnight.

“Or when you haven’t spoken to your family for ages. But your depressed edgy then, not this optimistic bundle of nerves now. You on meds?” he asks half jokingly, but with an air to make a serious question a joke so he wouldn’t seem so worried.

I shake my head “seriously, I’m fine. Why wouldn’t I be? We’re young, free and we have the best fucking jobs in the world at the moment. Oh, Rozé left us a note.” I toss him the envelope.

He opens it and reads it through twice, sniggering when he reads the ‘P.S’.

“She got us breakfast?” he asks, half surprised, handing me back the envelope.

“Yeah. Sweet kid, hey?” I say, reading her handwriting once more and flipping it onto the table.

“mmm.” Bob agrees. There is a relaxed pause before he sighs. “I don’t get it; why was she here? Wasn’t she staying at Gerard’s? They looked pretty- well into each other to say the least.”

I shrug and cross my arms “I don’t know, Bob; she just turned up at the door like half an hour after we left with tears running down her face. I couldn’t say no.”

“Playing the good Samaritan.” He nudges me.

I sink further into the cushions, remembering her tear stricken face and her instant relief to see a friendly face- my face. “Yeah. That’s me.”

“Well, I’m sure we’ll find out the other side of the story soon enough.” Bob taps my knee reassuringly as he pushed himself off the sofa and walked over to the mini bar.

I sit up “what do you mean?”

Bob throws a bottled water at me, which I catch by the end of my fingertips. “c’mon, we’ll be seeing Gerard in a few hours; he’s bound to be bragging about getting laid, no matter how over exaggerated he makes it.”

“You think so?” I say doubtfully, twisting the lid and taking a sip.

“Ok, let me tell you how this works: Hot famous drunk rock star brings back drunken girls to his room. Drunk girl strip dances for him. Drunk girl and drunk rock star are left alone. Chances are, drunk girl and drunk rock star weren’t staying up late into the night discussing Bowie versus Mercury.” Bob raises a sarcastic eyebrow

“C’mon Bob, she came here practically after we left.” I argue weakly.

“Jeez Ray, half an hour is long enough for a fuck. She turned up at our door with tears running down her face, her hair messed up and her make up smudged. Looks to me they fucked; then he told her to fuck off, she said get fucked. She fucks off; Gerard is a fucker but a fucker who got fucked. He got what he wanted out of her.”

“Stop saying fuck!” I burst out “she’s not just a thing, an object.”

“Ray, I know that. You know that. Gerard, the fucking asshole lording over us all, plays people like puppets. He doesn’t know that. Why are you getting so upset about this? He’s done it before, nothing out of the ordinary.”

“Yeah well…” Bob looks at me expectantly, “I- I just thought he got better. With therapy and everything.” I say quickly, making up something excusable so I wouldn’t have to say anything about Rozé.

“Therapy doesn’t do shit unless your willing for it to let it help you. Gerard isn’t the sort of person to accept help from a stranger about his matters they’ve just found out. He isn’t like that. He likes having control over his life and control over other people.”

I sigh and shake my head sorrowfully, sipping my water. I felt bad now that I was getting so worried over some girl I barely know yet others were genuinely concerned about the welfare of someone very close to me.

Bob sits down next to me again “we were all hoping for Gerard to change after last time, but since the third album he’s been slipping again. It’s all gotten to his head and he thinks he’s king of the fucking world. Just let him have his fun and eventually he’ll look around and realise no-one is up there with him. Then he’ll climb back down, but we have to be there for him. You know how it goes.”

“Mmm” is all I can say. I relay his little speech in my head. “he’s slipping again?” I ask. I felt terrible that I was using Gerard’s ‘problems’ as an excuse to weasel out of something, yet realising how much I hadn’t been paying attention to something truly important.

“I don’t know how trashed you got last night, but Gerard was drunk out of his mind. And I definitely know he took something. I haven’t seen him act like that for a long long time.” He says solemnly.

We never talk about what happened to Gerard. Summer 2005. Gerard’s addiction. His dark shameful dirty little secret. He admitted it, he got over it. Sobered up all by himself. Made a solemn oath never to do that shit again. He was so proud that he conquered it on his own.
Now- now what? Because it was in the past he can just say ‘fuck it’?
At least it deterred my mind from other more personal private matters.

“Shit” was my response.

“Where will be canoeing up without a paddle if this continues. You seen the shit Amy Winehouse is into? She could be fucking legendary! She’s really sick Ray, she’s dying. And Gerard- well if Gerard doesn’t get his act together-“

“He will. What the hell has Amy Winehouse got to do with this?”

“We know what he’s like. He has an addictive or obsessive nature, fixating on things. Death, war, certain people at times: remember he spent a whole 24 hours on his purple dragon drawing that just didn’t seem right? He was obsessed with getting it right his way- controlling it. It took over him until it was just right- like drugs will. And once you’re back on, it’s a slippery slope downhill that just keeps avalanching. If I catch him taking I will fucking kick his ass- no holding back.”

And with that he stood up and slammed his bedroom door so hard it sent trembles through the hanging frames. The mirror was close to falling off its nail.

Please don’t fall and break, I silently begged it, we can’t afford any more bad luck.

Bobs rant had opened my eyes deeper to the complexity that is Gerard. I was seeing him in a new light. A much darker one. I realised that from the beginning he had wanted Rozé, and he had gotten what he had wanted. Each time he drank he had gotten more and more heavily drunk. Now he was fuelling it with drugs again. A downward spiral, like water twisting down the darkened plughole.

The mirror stopped swinging, but it is hanging at an off angle. I stand up and straighten it. In doing so, I catch my reflection. My tired weary face after too many days drinking, touring, not sleeping- all catching up with me. I look down at my hands. Toughened skin on the ends of my fingers, rough skin on my hands that was close to cracking. I look up at my face again, a face I barely recognised as my own.

What about me? What now?

mabbii · 11-26-2008, 05:54 PM

Wow...
That was so insightful.
It's good to know what Ray's thinking..
Damnit, Rozé's so cute !
Bob.. he's such an awesome person, let's just leave it at that.
*tut tut...* Gerard...

Damn that was a beautiful chapter x

lady-of-sorrows · 11-27-2008, 02:21 AM

noooo! gerard can't be on it again...idiot...
Rozé is still awesome, and i love the stuff from ray or her point of view.
can't wait for more, but dont let it hold you back with work or anything more immportant, k?