Chapter 1, Part 1
All I could see were those eyes, big, real eyes, all I could smell was his pure scent, the air went out of his mouth, he was breathing heavily, and it met my lips. It ticked a bit, but oh, so good. His mouth was dangerously close to mine, I didn't know what to do, but I wanted to do it.
"Wake up, darling." A voice came form distance, I know that voice… oh, it is just mom. Her fingers were running across my head and into my hair, trying to make me less grumpy. Great way to wake up, in the middle of a dream, a perfect and surrealistic dream.
"You are going to be late for school, darling. It's a big day; my little Gerard is a senior already." She kissed my forehead, and I could feel that she was smiling. "Your brother is already taking his shower."
My head felt so heavy, but somehow I got up and made my way to the kitchen, stumbling on my own foot. There was a blur in front of my eyes, what the fuck?
The bathroom was already taken by my lovely brother, god I hate living in a one bathroom house, so I had to wash my sleepy face in the kitchen sink. Not the most hygienic choice, by far.
"Hey bro! No need to do the cat walk, go to the shower, you stink." Lovely as always, Mikey slapped my head too little too loudly and mom came running to separate our 'fight'.
"MICHAEL JAMES WAY STOP BEATING UP YOUR BROTHER! IT'S NOT HIS FAULT THAT HE SMELLS BAD WHEN HE WAKES UP AND YOU KNOW IT!" she was always talking about my sweating problems; it must be exiting to have a stinky son.
I ran for the bathroom, I didn't care if I smelled bad, I wanted to do something
else in the privacy only those four walls gave me. No, not that thing, it also would be a good idea, but I had to cry. What an emo stereotype.
Warm, large tears kept running from my eyes and into my cheeks. I just couldn't help myself; there was something very wrong with me. I was day (and night) dreaming about a boy I had never seen. A boy! Not a guy, but a boy. And even if it was a guy, a guy!
But I liked those dreams, they made me feel warm and happy, the things I needed the most now, dad having died and me and mom and Mikes being all alone. I hate having to be the biggest brother, even more when my younger brother is an asthmatic geek who gets more girls than I do. I'm so pathetic.
It's not that I hate Mikes for having better grades than I ever did, for having a valid excuse for skipping physical education or for seeing someone, thing that I don't do since I was 15, and don't miss at all. I don't even hate him. I just feel like, he is the good son; I'm just the lazy, stupid son who most likely is gay. And for that I'm pathetic.
Soon enough my sobs would be hearable from outside of the bathroom, so I turned the shower on and got under it, the water mixing with my tears and washing away my pain.
My coconut shampoo was making such a deliciously smelling foam, that I just had to keep on rubbing my head, slowly, I had a white wig. I closed my eyes to rinse my hair, otherwise I would get blind before age 20, how sad.
Behind my eyelids, all I could see were those eyes, round warm brown eyes that hypnotized me, that wanted me to get closer and closer and closer and OUCH! I really shouldn't get so carried away by my hallucinations and actually walk into the glass.
"FUUUUUCK, MY NOSE, MY NOSE MY NOSE, MOOOOOOOOM HELP ME!" my nose was bleeding like hell, there was blood all over my face, the water had a disgusting pinky color.
She came running into the bathroom, to find me naked, shaking, crying and bleeding. I was with my eyes closed; sooner or later I would end up fainting or vomiting, or both. A towel was pushed to my nostrils and it kind of felt better, the blood was running slower now, coagulating.
"We gotta go to the hospital, oh my god, does it hurt, baby?" she pressed the towel even harder to my face, I tried to talk, but just couldn't.
"Muuuhm tuuuuel"
Guess she realized I was asphyxiating under it, because she took it of. Totally red with my blood. "Sorry darling, want me to take you to the hospital?"
"No, I wanna go to the school. Just gimme some ice and I'll be fine." It was very obvious that she wanted to take me to the hospital, she insisted on driving me to school, but I said no; she wanted me to wear make up, and that I couldn't resign. I just loved some eyeliner.
I parked my car in some random spot, nearly hitting a boy. He looked at me with terrified eyes, kind of like a scared dear. Terrified eyes I knew, terrified eyes that just this morning were looking at me.
His legs were shaking, he had a form on his delicate hand, it was so obvious, he was a new kid. Still, staring at me, without blinking, his pupils moving wildly.
Now come on. I dream for a week about this cute boy that wants to kiss me and in the first day from last year, BANG! I nearly ran him over with my stupid old car. And then, weirder than ever, I am all lovely with him, wanting to show him every dirty corner of Belleville high. I'm a creepy pervert.
"I'm sorry, I was, erm… I'm Gerard." I smiled at him, it was impossible not to feel comfortable near to those chocolate brown eyes.
Out of nowhere, he hugged me tightly, as if he missed me. "I'm Frank. And never do that again." He said that in very sexy voice, and no, that wasn't my bisexual mind talking.
Now, that was creepy as hell, was that boy hugging me and trying to seduce me? Maybe, just maybe he normally had a sexy voice, but not that sexy.
It just felt wrong to be so near to a freshman right on the first day of school, so I separated myself from him, looking at his face, absorbing every and each detail I could. Red thin lips, quite full on the middle, small nose, big cheeks, huge eyes with perfect eyebrows over them. Short dark hair, almost black, on the sides of his head, and huge bangs falling over his left eye. "Hm, wanna see the school?"
It sounded like a friendly thing to say, not too friendly and not too unfriendly, just… nice and polite.
We were walking towards a bathroom, I had to pee, and he simply stood in front of me, blocking my passage. "Your eyes are pretty."
And he walked away, without even saying bye, nothing. Just that my eyes were pretty. Were they pretty? I should ask Ray about it, later.
continues next post...
i'm kind of in a hurry to pack my bags and stuff, so sorry if it is terrible. i'll post the other part on weekend and the other chapters in august, so, wish me a good trip!
